“As it should be.”
Turning the key, she glanced over at me. “Are you not stressed? You missed your flight, you’re hitting up one-night stands for a place to stay…”
“Not particularly.” I put my hands on my knees, watching the town fly by on either side of us. “Other than the festival, there was nowhere in particular I was planning to go. I’m a permanent traveler. A vagrant, as you called me.”
“How can you afford that?”
“Believe it or not, I did well in school. Got a degree, too. I post ads on Craigslist and the like wherever I go. There’s always someone who needs a tutor. I stay a couple weeks in one place, a month if I really like it. Then it’s on to the next, going with the flow. I’ve seen most of America this way. Good amount of Europe and Asia, too.”
Leanne had had her eyes glued to the road this whole time. Whether she always did that due to the stick up her butt or whether she was scared to look at me, I didn’t know. Either way, she turned to face me now, and the look on her face questioned my personal sanity.
“I don’t see how you can do that,” she said. “It would certainly be exciting, but it seems so unpredictable, unreliable. You must not have a 401k. Are you saving for retirement?”
I coughed out a laugh. The way she said exciting made it sound downright deplorable. “I’m twenty-nine years old. I’m not worrying about retirement.”
“I’m thirty-one, and I’ve been saving since I was eighteen.”
So she was only two years older than me… and a million years more mature. “You’re a lawyer, though.”
“Doesn’t matter. Compound interest works the same no matter what your job is. Magic happens when you reinvest your dividends. The more you save now, the more you’ll have in the future.”
“I’ll figure things out when I get there.”
She pulled into her condo’s parking garage, and we each took a few bags of Teensy’s things. Weighed down with all the supplies, we made our way into the elevator. I couldn’t help but grin at her reflection in the mirror. This was so calm and domestic, yet somehow it felt like a new adventure.
Given that she wasn’t jumping at the chance to pick up where we’d left off last night, maybe I should’ve cleared out. There were plenty of men and women who would’ve been more than happy to leap into bed with me. No reason to stick around here and try to convince this one otherwise — if that was even my plan.
Like I’d told Leanne, I was good with being her friend. I was good with whatever kept me around her. Despite her buttoned-up stodginess and all the insults she’d thrown my way, the girl was growing on me.
So yeah, I could’ve booked a flight to somewhere other than Syracuse. I could’ve hopped on a bus going anywhere, seen where it would take me.
For the moment, though, I had no inclination to be anywhere but Newbank.
FIVE — LEANNE
Saturday mornings were supposed to be relaxing. After the long, stressful weeks I had these days, they tended to be my favorite time.
Today, not so much. It was hard as hell knowing the woman who’d given me the most incredible sex of my life was on the other side of my bedroom wall.
To be clear, when I said “it” was hard, I meant my clit.
I sighed, letting my hand slip underneath my silky sheets. I’d slept naked, as usual, which only made it easier to fantasize about BJ opening my door and joining me in bed. Her lips would come down on mine, her arms wrap around me, her thighs settle on either side of my head…
It could’ve come true. All I needed to do was call her name, and she’d be there in a second. She’d made her keenness to continue what we’d started crystal clear.
But it was a bad idea. Taking on a fuck buddy was not part of my five-year plan. I’d already slipped up once, which was bad enough. Better to stay away from sex until it was with someone I could commit to. Anything else was an unnecessary distraction, a waste of time.
Perhaps more importantly, I couldn’t let myself get hurt again. She wasn’t the type to stick around, and I wasn’t the type for casual sex. It was hard enough to find her gone in the morning after a single night together. If I let her into my bed again, I’d only get more caught up in her, and it’d be even worse when I found myself alone once more.
She hadn’t even left a note. She only came back for a place to stay. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
Still, that didn’t have to stop me from daydreaming. Spreading my legs wide, I let my fantasies run wild. Usually I imagined trysts with nameless, faceless women. By contrast, BJ was so very clear.
She pushed open the door and stepped inside, that infuriating grin on her face. Despite the sheet over me, she could tell exactly what I was doing.
“Need a hand with that?” she asked, not waiting for a response before throwing the covers off me and giving me one.
Her fingers were warm and firm, and she knew exactly how I liked to touch myself. She did it slower than I liked, though — teasing me, making me wait for it.
“Faster,” I told her, my voice as tight as my body was tense. “Please, I need it faster.”
“Please, who?”
She was so cruel, making me say it. So why did having to do it turn me on even more? My clit throbbed under her fingers as I said, “Please, miss.”
“That’s better. You’re learning.”
Her hand moved a little faster, still slower than I would’ve liked. She leered down at me as if she knew every thought going through my mind. She could definitely tell what she was doing to me, making me beg like this, and she was enjoying it.
“Miss, a tiny bit more…”
“Good girl.” She touched me how I wanted now, her hand moving hard and fast over my clit. Her wild curls flopped over her face as she leaned forward, her eyes flickering from my groin to my breasts to my face and back again.
If I was good enough, if I submitted well enough to her will, maybe she’d let me venture between her sweet thighs again. Maybe she’d even put those petal lips on me. send heat coursing through my body, and bring me to heights of pleasure I’d never dared to dream…
“Yeah?”
Shit. I let out a heaving sigh. BJ had called to me at the worst possible time. I took a few breaths before getting up and opening the door a tiny crack. She stood just outside, looking as unfairly tantalizing as ever.
“What is it?”
She gave me a funny look. “You called my name.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No, I didn’t. I’ll join you out there in a minute. I’m going to shower.”
*
Washing off the soap was easier than washing away the shame. When I made it into the living area, I was sure BJ would somehow know what I’d done. Surely my fantasies would be written all over my face.
She was sprawled on the couch, Teensy napping at her side. Either she couldn’t tell what I’d been up to, or she was used to former lovers using her as masturbation fodder. She may not have been psychic, but given what I knew about her life, I imagined it was a daily occurrence.
“About time you’re up,” she said. “You going to cook for me?”
I scoffed. Her attitude couldn’t surprise me anymore, but I did wonder at her staying for breakfast. My understanding was that she planned to book a flight right away and get out of here as early as possible.
As BJ swung her legs to the floor, Teensy woke up and rolled onto her back, showing off her white stomach. “How’s my puppy doing?” I asked.
“Great. She ate well and I’ve been playing with her. I read online they need a lot of socializing.”
“Good.” I hesitated, unsure of how to ask this question. “So if you’re researching puppy well-being, does that mean you plan on being here a bit longer?”
BJ shrugged, an oddly sexy movement when she did it in such a languorous fashion. “I’ll chill here until I get bored, I guess.”
Perfect. I couldn’t even look forward to my uninvited house guest leaving, because whenever she went
I’d know it was because she got bored.
Kicking her out crossed my mind, as it had about a thousand times over the past twenty-four hours. Letting her stay was pointless, and there was no logical explanation that would make it make sense.
She added excitement to my life, though — something I was sorely lacking. I liked having the company, especially seeing her wildly different perspective on things. She didn’t seem to abide by the same rules of society which had structured my entire life.
And despite how much she’d infuriated me at first, I was learning her ways. She wasn’t as obnoxious as she pretended to be. She probably couldn’t piss me off now if she tried.
I grabbed Teensy and held her up, marveling at the way her little paws scrabbled in the air. “You’re not bored of Newbank already?”
“Nah. I’m not the type to run around taking selfies in front of tourist attractions. Traveling is more about the people for me. I leave when I want a change of scenery.”
The puppy squirmed, and I set her down on the couch. She jumped back into BJ’s lap.
“If it’s about the people, wouldn’t it make more sense to stay in one place? You could have deeper connections that way. And surely you don’t meet every single inhabitant of the places you go to. There’s always more people to meet.”
“Yeah, true. I don’t know. Maybe I prefer shallow connections.” BJ looped Teensy’s wagging tail around a finger. “Anyway, I got online and lined up a tutoring client. Looks like there’s a sixth-grader who needs some help in math, so I’ll be out for the afternoon.”
“You’ve been busy this morning.”
“Someone had to while you were sleeping in.” Standing up, BJ brushed by me. The look she shot me made me wonder again if she might know what I’d gotten off to. “By the way, I had a funny feeling you weren’t going to cook for me, so I made a quick run to the store around the corner. There’s crackers, cheese, and fruit on the table.”
All right, now I was officially impressed. I headed toward the kitchen, realizing at the last second that BJ was going into the spare room. “You’re not going to eat with me?”
“Already ate. I have emails to send, friends to text…” Seeing my expression, she shrugged. “I’ll do all that later. I can always eat a bit more.”
I hadn’t meant to come off as desperate to have her around. She had to think I was pretty starved for companionship… which was accurate, really. Wasn’t that why I’d given a complete stranger a free place to stay?
Maybe she decided to eat with me because she wanted my company. I considered the thought for half a second before dismissing it. She was just being nice. It wasn’t like we were friends.
The spread on the kitchen table was worthy of a gourmet food magazine. “Holy shit.”
“You like it?” BJ came up behind me, standing close enough that I felt her hot breath on the back of my neck. “I do have some talents, other than the obvious.”
“Perv.”
I should’ve been annoyed that she was still here, especially without an invitation. But as I looked around at the plates of artfully arranged grapes, berries, and cheeses, I was kind of glad BJ was here. This wasn’t planned or expected, like everything else in my life for the past few years. It was new and unpredictable and… exciting.
Although I tried not to look too much at BJ as we ate, it was hard not to. She chatted pleasantly about the selection at the grocery store and her favorite varieties of goat cheese. She was so different from the woman I’d first met that I found myself staring at her. Those arched cheekbones… those lush lips…
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
I avoided the question. “You’re less obnoxious in the daytime.”
“You mean a person might act different at home than at a bar? The shock!”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to be sarcastic.”
Teensy peeked her head in the door, quickly realizing how much food there was on the table. She ran up to my feet and stood up on her hind legs, staring unabashedly at the hunk of cheese on my knife.
When and where did she even learn to beg? I held the food out of her reach, and both of us cracked up when she tried to jump for it. She was too small to get far, but once she got a little bigger she’d be able to get onto my lap, or the table itself. I had a feeling she’d be a handful.
I sank my teeth into a cherry, using my tongue to rub the meat off the pit at the center. “So tell me about the festival you’re going to.”
“I’m not going to make it anymore.” She fingered the lid on a box of crackers. “I would’ve missed half of it by the time I got there.”
“You could’ve gone for the last bit. You were so excited about it the other night.”
“It’s all right. I’ve been there before. Once you’ve done it once or twice, you know how it goes.”
“How does it go?”
She toyed with a cracker, eventually spreading it with some Brie. “It’s a big party in the desert, kind of like Burning Woman. Everyone brings art and makes art. I’m not much into that aspect myself, it’s more about the principles for me. No cash is allowed, only voluntary gifts. Even bartering is against the rules.”
That sounded hellish. “Sounds a bit unorthodox.”
“It is, and that’s what I love about it. Everyone is your new best friend — at least, for as long as you’re there. It’s about community. Every single person has to participate, and if you don’t, you might not eat. Oh, and we light effigies on fire.”
“You’re kidding.”
She shook her head.
“Effigies of what?”
“Whatever we feel like. Politicians, celebrities, Jesus, God, Satan…”
I wasn’t going to accuse her of joking again, but the glint in her eyes made me wonder. “And you’re missing out.”
“Like I said, it’s no big deal. I don’t have to go out looking for adventure. I create it wherever I happen to be.”
It sounded fine enough when she put it that way.
I just wondered what kind of adventures she planned to create in Newbank.
SIX — BJ
“BJ! How’s life, woman?”
Lying on my stomach on Leanne’s spare bed, I adjusted my phone to give Bryan a better view of my face. The best angle was when I held it up, but leaving it half-supported by the blankets was easier.
“It’s good,” I said, and paused. Was it good? And what else could I say to explain the past couple of days in any reasonable way?
“How’s Syracuse?” He squinted, looking at the background behind me. “That doesn’t look like anything I saw at AOF. You go all bourgeois and get yourself a hotel room?”
“Of course not. I ended up not going. Thought you were, though? Weren’t we going to meet up there?”
“Shit happens,” he said. “Boss wanted me to stick around at the last minute, and I can’t lose this job. I’m running out of bars to work at in this town.”
The background behind Bryan was the same bedroom he’d been living in for several years. He liked traveling as much as I did, but unlike me, he had a home base. He lived in Austin with his long-term, on-and-off girlfriend. By stringing together a series of bartending jobs, he managed to get out of town as often as he wanted to. And during the “off” periods with Lisa, our travels together got a lot more interesting.
I was never sure if he’d show up to the plans we often made together. Then again, he could’ve said the same about me. Sometimes I had every intention of being in one place, and then the wind blew me to another.
“Why don’t you take off?” I asked. “Do what I do. You could find a bartending gig anywhere in this country. Or go international, if you want to.”
He tipped his chair back, looking even smaller on my phone screen. “Nah. Lisa’s got a good thing going at the museum. She’d never come along with me.”
Ah, so they were still together at the moment. A brief flash of the time he’d let me share her came back to me. That w
as a hot night, even if Bryan got a bit jealous after. At least it helped Lisa understand our connection. She still wouldn’t open their relationship, but she was more willing to turn a blind eye during their “off” periods.
“What about you?” Bryan asked. “What’s keeping you from going?”
I turned onto my side, conscious that my face was no longer in view. “My flight landed in some random town, and I think I’m going to stay here a little longer.”
“Huh? What town?”
“It’s called Newbank. Not far from NYC, apparently, but you wouldn’t know it. It’s a bit… quaint. At least the parts I’ve been to.” Maybe there was a raging nightlife scene I hadn’t found yet.
“Sounds pretty dull. Why don’t you come hang out here? There’s always room for you on the couch.”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Meet up in Houston on the weekend? We can make dirty jokes about the space needle.”
As if we hadn’t done that ten times already. “I’m good here, but thanks.”
Bryan sounded concerned. “You’re not down because I’m back with Lisa, are you? Look, you know I would’ve loved to start things up again, but…”
“No, no. That’s not an issue. I’m used to it.”
Seeing him go back to her bugged me a little at first, when I realized how well we got along and how reliably good the sex was. Not fantastic… not mind-blowing… nothing like it is with the woman over there in the other room… But it was casual sex, no strings attached, and that was all I was ever after anyway. It worked for us.
“So what’s so great about this Newbank?”
“I don’t know. The girl I’m staying with…” I trailed off, lost as to how to finish that sentence.
Whether luckily or not, Bryan picked up on the implications. “Good enough coochie to keep you in some crappy little town? I wouldn’t’ve thought it was possible.”
“It’s not like that,” I said, hoping my voice sounded calmer than I felt. “We only hooked up once, and now we’re friends. I think she’s cool, that’s all. I feel like I might learn something from her.”
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