“I don’t have time for things like that,” I finally said.
“You?” She gestured around the room. “You have more money than most people can imagine. How can you not have time?”
“I work sixty-hour weeks,” I said. “Sometimes seventy. After I make partner, maybe I’ll be able to relax.”
“No, after that you have to settle in for a couple of years, according to what you told me. You’re seriously going to go without fun for a few more years after you’ve gone this long already?”
“It’s not a choice. I have to work hard now to assure my future for later.”
“But you’re getting no joy out of life now. None! By the time you get the chance to have fun, you’ll have forgotten what it even is. You’re halfway there already.”
She had me at that.
“Don’t you ever want to go to other places? To see the world? Let me guess, this firm of yours doesn’t give you a lot of vacation days.”
They did, but I’d be penalized if I took them. I collected the vacation pay instead. “I’ll go places when I retire.”
“Sure, and you’ll be walking with a cane after your hip replacement surgery. Do you really want to look back on these days when you’re seventy and wonder why you never did anything fun?”
My voice was getting weaker every time I spoke. “It won’t be that bad.”
“So you admit it will be bad. Leanne, take a good look at your life. Isn’t there some way you can find the time?”
She was pretty persuasive. “Remind me why I’m the lawyer and not you.”
“Because I don’t have the attention span for law school,” she snapped back.
I looked at her carefully. Was that some kind of sarcasm, or had she ever actually considered it?
My close examination must have embarrassed her because she shoved her hands in her pockets and looked at the floor. “Anyway,” she continued softly, “I know you’re not going to have sex with me again, but I’d like to show you a good time sometime. I think you could use it.”
Maybe it was the little bit of openness she’d just given me, or maybe she really had talked me into wanting it.
“All right,” I said. “What are we going to do?”
EIGHT — BJ
Leanne looked good with a blindfold on. The black material may have hidden her eyes, but that only put more emphasis on her all-too-kissable lips. Her long, straight nose twitched and her forehead crinkled as if she was trying to figure out what I was going to do with her.
I just wished she had a lot less clothing on. And that she was in a bed rather than the passenger seat of her car.
“Where are we going?” she asked, as if I would choose this time to answer when I’d refused the fifty-something times before.
“I told you, it’s a surprise.” The engine ran smoothly as I touched my foot a little harder to the gas pedal. Miles of highway slipped away under us with barely a purr.
“You better not ditch me somewhere.”
“Yes, Leanne, this is all an elaborate plan to steal your Mercedes.” I gave an exaggerated eye roll, forgetting she couldn’t see it. “If I was going to rip you off, it would hardly make sense to bring you along with me.”
Sneaking a glance over at her, I enjoyed the little pout that came over her face. She was really far too sexy.
“So where are we going?” she asked again. “Into the city?”
“It’s a surprise!”
“It better not be some kind of sex club or something.”
Now there was an idea. “You’ll find out.”
“We must be going into the city,” she decided out loud. “We’ve been driving too long to be going anywhere else. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I’m never going to get enough sleep after this. I’ll be totally drained on Monday.”
She was impossible. “Leanne, it’s Saturday night. I’m sure you can recover by Monday. And if you don’t, hey, maybe you’ll call in sick. That would be fun and spontaneous.”
“I would never!”
“And if you’d relax a little, you might find you’re having fun already. When’s the last time you did something without a plan? Just sat back and let someone else take the lead?”
Now she was quiet. She had no answer, I assumed. Or else she was thinking about what I was thinking about. From the slight parting of her lips, I guessed I might have brought her back to our night of passion.
At last she spoke again. “It’s not fun when I’m being totally irresponsible,” she said stubbornly. “I should never have let you talk me into this.”
“Could you settle down? You don’t even know where we’re going yet, so stop judging it before we even get there.”
“I’d be able to judge it better if you’d tell me what we’re doing.”
We crossed a bridge and plunged into darkness, the illumination of the street lights gone. There were still a few minutes to go, but this was close enough. “Fine.” I yanked the blindfold off her head.
Leanne looked around in confusion. “Where are we?”
“So many questions,” I sighed. “Where are we going, where are we going, where are we going? And now that we finally get there, it’s all ‘where are we?’”
“Well?”
If she’d been looking instead of pestering me, she would’ve seen a small wooden sign with the answer. I turned onto a small dirt road. Although we were only a short distance from the highway, it was almost silent. When I heard the faint animal sounds, we could’ve been in the countryside.
The moos and baas got louder as we continued to drive. “What is that?” Leanne asked.
I pulled into an empty parking lot, taking the spot nearest the entrance. “That… is the sound of our cute fuzzy new friends. We’re at a petting zoo.”
Before she could answer, I was out of the car and halfway to the main gate. She jogged after me, frantically locking the doors with her key fob. “BJ, this place isn’t open!”
“That’s why we’re going to break in.”
I paused long enough to shoot her a grin. She stared at me, looking overcome with excitement. At least, I was going to tell myself it looked like excitement. I hadn’t gone too far, had I? This might be a little much for someone who probably hadn’t had fun since Bush Sr. was in power.
I’d done this a few times before. It was one of my favorite things to do around NYC when I had access to a car. The petting zoo was actually about halfway between the city and Newbank. Funny to think I’d been less than an hour away from Leanne before with no idea she was there.
The place was always deserted after closing time, and “breaking in” consisted of hopping over a chain two feet from the ground. I’d actually told today’s tutoring client about my plan. Now a fourteen-year-old girl thought I was the coolest person ever.
Breaking in really wasn’t that big of a deal. I assumed the owners figured no one would bother to even try. It only cost a couple bucks to get in during the day anyway. I just liked the thrill, and getting to be alone with the animals.
“We can’t break in,” Leanne said weakly.
“Of course we can.” I put one foot over the fence, then the other. “Look, I’m in.”
“This is illegal!”
“Come on. I can tell you want to.”
She hovered behind the fence.
“If you feel that bad about it, the ticket counter is over there. Go put down five bucks for your entrance fee, and they’ll find it in the morning.”
Now she definitely looked tempted. “There’s sheep in there?”
I nodded.
“And goats?” A well-timed bleat came in answer. “All right, but if I get arrested for this, I’m dragging you down with me.”
She jogged over to the ticket counter, coming back a minute later. “I put ten down, enough for both of us,” she said defiantly.
“Works for me. Let’s go in!”
In the faint light of the moon, we made our way into the petting zoo. Leanne tripped over a bran
ch in her path, and I extended my arm. She looked at me warily for a second, then took it. A few sparks went through me — a disproportionate reaction to the amount of contact. Must’ve been because I hadn’t gotten laid in so long.
Leanne seemed confused as we passed one empty pen after another. “The owners keep all the animals in one big stable,” I said. “They let them out every morning and put them back every night.”
Her face paled. “I thought we just had to hop the fence. How are we going to get in the stable?”
“We’ll pick the lock. It’s an easy one.”
“You know forcible and unlawful entry is the legal name for breaking and entering?”
“It’ll be fine.”
The look she gave me said I was out of my mind. “Are we having fun yet?”
“I am.”
The stable was near the back of the zoo, the entrance tucked away where tourists wouldn’t find it. I led Leanne there with sure steps. The first time I’d visited during the day, this idea had immediately come to mind. I’d only come here by myself, though — hadn’t even shown my secret to Bryan the time we were in town together.
In front of the door, I pulled out a paper clip. “Which animals are your favorite?” I asked as I inserted it into the padlock. Leanne glared at me, so I took a guess. “I’m thinking goats, since you mentioned them. You mentioned sheep too, but no one actually likes them. Goats are a lot more loveable.”
“Sheep are all right.”
“But you like goats better, don’t you? They’re much cuter, and probably less dumb.” I jiggled the paper clip, listening for the telltale click. “Sheep are kind of big and ugly.”
“You of all people shouldn’t discriminate against animals that are big and ugly.”
“You’re saying I’m a big, ugly itinerant vagabond?” Click. I pulled the lock open, still laughing at the look on Leanne’s face. “Let’s go!”
The stable was a mile long, or felt that way. Animal pens were on either side of a seemingly endless aisle, one species after another. Leanne’s eyes widened and her voice went high. “The goats!” She ran over to pet them. “They’re so soft!”
Standing back, I watched her instead of the animals. She looked like a kid in a candy store. On her knees, she reached out to one goat after another. For their part, the goats bleated and nosed at her.
Leanne’s eyes lit up in a way they only did when Teensy did something particularly cute. I’d never seen her smile so wide.
“Do you think I could go into the pen?” she asked. “They’re totally tame, right?”
“I don’t see why not. They’re very used to people.”
“Okay!”
Leanne turned toward another pen full of llamas that were quickly noticing we were there. They made their funny llama sounds as Leanne opened the gate and went inside. Soon she was draped over them and hugging them, at least as much as they’d let her.
I stood at the edge, holding my hand out to one friendly creature. Still, I was looking at Leanne when I said, “You’re having a totally shitty time, right?”
“This is the best thing ever.” She glanced at me with bright eyes. “You were right. Aren’t you coming in?”
“Maybe later. There’s sheep to see, since you apparently like them so much.”
“Oh, forget the sheep.” She scratched one llama’s head until it reared back and bared its teeth at her. “All right, let’s go see the sheep.”
We must have spent an hour in there, going from one pen to the next. The animals were mostly happy for the extra attention, and Leanne played with them to her heart’s content. By the time we got to the end of the long aisle and we’d seen every type of animal, I almost expected her to go back to the start and see all of them a second time.
Once must have been enough, but she was still glowing as we headed outside. “That was amazing,” she said. “I can’t think of anything more perfect. How did you know exactly where to bring me?”
“You’re an animal lover. I see how much you adore Teensy.” I brushed a bit of straw off her shoulder, wondering again why the brief touch made me tingle. “I’m glad you liked it.”
“I loved it, BJ. You’re not big or ugly, by the way.”
My lips quirked upward. “I’m aware of that.”
The stars were out now, and I glanced up at them as we made our way over the path. I wished Leanne would trip again so she’d have to hold onto me. Seeing this other side of her, the childlike wonder she was capable of, had only made me more attracted to her.
“This was one of those nights that felt truly special,” she said. “I hate to admit it, but maybe I do work too much. It’s been so long since I did anything different and a little crazy. Well, aside from the obvious.” She looked embarrassed.
I could’ve teased her about that, but I was feeling reflective now. “Do you think everyone seeks out these special moments?” I asked. “I mean, do you think everyone needs to be special in general?”
“Of course.”
“No, but do you think there are people out there who go through life without really struggling? They just drift forward. They’re born and they grow up, they get married and pop out a couple of kids and then they die, all without thinking about what it all means?”
We were almost at the front entrance now, and Leanne slowed. “I don’t know. Maybe I am one of those people.”
“You? No. You’re nothing like that. I mean people who don’t even care how they affect the world. People who think of themselves as ordinary.”
Leanne’s face was tight. “That does sound like me.”
“No, no, no. You’re the last person who I’d see that way.” I was insistent now, determined to change her mind. “You’re nowhere near ordinary.”
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “If my life was a movie, I don’t think I’d even be the star. I’d probably be an extra.”
“Don’t say that.” I looked at her, the moonlight falling on her sharp features and making her teeth gleam as she spoke. Fuck, I’d never been so attracted to someone. I ached to take her hand. I would’ve done it if I thought she’d let me.
Maybe she noticed my shift in mood, because she abruptly changed the subject. “I like you like this… calm and thoughtful and sensitive. I never would’ve thought that obnoxious girl from the bar could be like this.”
“And yet that girl is the one who got in your pants.”
She coughed out a laugh. “Oh, shut up, BJ.”
Her eyes searched mine, and then her arms were around my neck and she was kissing me again, kissing me more softly and sweetly than I’d ever been kissed. Her grip loosened around me for a second as if she was reconsidering, but I grabbed her tight and kept her in. My pulse raced, my heart hammering in my chest.
This might’ve been a good time to say something, but I had no intention of ruining the moment. If she wanted me to shut up, I’d do exactly that.
She pressed against me, every inch of her body against mine. She smelled like fresh hay and lanolin now, and I took deep inhales because I never wanted to forget this moment. Reaching up, I ran my fingers through her hair. It was smooth and silky, and when my palm brushed over the base of her neck I heard her breath hitch.
I’d been on the verge of getting aroused since we left the stable, and now it was out of my control. With a soft moan, I cupped her ass with both hands. Her eyes opened in shock.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
“All I know is, it’s not over yet.” After giving her butt a final squeeze, I caressed her back and tangled my fingers in her hair. “We’re going back to your place, and this time you’re not saying no to me.”
Her gulp was audible. “I can’t do this with you if you’re going to be with other people. And I can’t if you’re going to take off without saying goodbye.”
In my state, I would’ve agreed to anything. “I won’t fuck anyone else while I’m here, and I won’t go without telling you. Can we get in the car now?”
My breath came raggedly. Those were major promises for me, and I wondered briefly if I was giving in too much.
Leanne looked amazed with herself. “One minute before we do. You can have anyone you want, you’ve made that clear. Why do you still want me? Especially after I kept saying no to you?”
I didn’t have the mental energy to come up with anything but the truth. “One, we’ve got chemistry. Two, I have a thing for girls in suits.”
Although she looked uncertain, she nodded slowly.
“Now, let’s go to the car so we can get to your place?”
She pressed one more lingering kiss to my lips. “Car, yes. Back seat. I don’t think I can wait until we get to my place.”
NINE — LEANNE
I turned off the vacuum to take BJ’s backpack from the floor. It dangled from my hand, unnervingly light. It’d long since been emptied, the contents stored in dresser drawers — mostly the ones in my room.
It must’ve been over two weeks since I’d even gone into the guest room. First it felt like it belonged to BJ since she was living in it. With her things tossed carelessly all over the place, she’d taken immediate possession.
And in the week since she’d started sleeping in my room, there’d been no need for either of us to go in here.
The backpack had no use for the moment. I hung it on a hook in the closet. BJ could take it whenever she needed it — a thought which sent ice rushing through my veins. At least it didn’t look like she was going anywhere anytime soon.
Still lost in thought, I coaxed Teensy into her crate. The sound of my cell phone jarred me, and I speed-walked into the living room to get it. The number wasn’t in my contacts, although it did look vaguely familiar. No one should have been calling me for work-related matters at this hour, yet some intuition made me answer in a businesslike way. “Leanne Stevenson, attorney at law.”
“Hello, Ms. Stevenson, this is Randy Tripton. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
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