The Family She Needs

by Sue MacKay

  What had gone wrong to cause his nightmares? Because she knew as sure as she knew that Mickey was four that he’d had others. While he’d been distressed when she’d woken him, he hadn’t been shocked. Once he’d come out of it he’d known what to do to get back to reality quickly.

  If only there was a way she could help... But even if there was, Logan wouldn’t let her near. He stood tall and proud, and just acknowledging that she’d witnessed him in that distressed state must be annoying the hell out of him.

  * * *

  Logan shook his head. Motueka wasn’t the sleepy hollow he’d expected. He still couldn’t get his head around Steve just knocking on the door, though it made sense in a roundabout way, with the only alternative being a long drive to the Nelson Emergency Department.

  Steve had told him Karina had delivered their last baby after his wife’s waters had broken while they were at the park. Karina had been there. The baby had been in a hurry and she’d stepped up.

  ‘She’s one in a million, Doc. Don’t you go messing with her or talking her into leaving.’

  He’d told Steve, ‘I’m not taking Karina anywhere.’

  Karina would never consider leaving Motueka. She didn’t even want to shift to another house, warmer and easier to look after. In her mind Mickey belonged here.

  What was it like, knowing where you’d be in twelve months’ time? In twenty-four? What was it like waking up in the same house, with the same person, day in, day out, month after month? To feel safe all the time? He guessed he’d never know. Not while there were so many people who needed him back in Africa.

  In the kitchen, Karina had switched the kettle on. ‘Tea and toast, I reckon. It’s not worth going back to bed now. Mr Grumpy will be over soon.’

  A wave of guilt rolled through Logan. He’d been one reason she’d lost sleep. A motel for the rest of his stay would be best, but he couldn’t find any enthusiasm for the idea.

  ‘It’s barely gone six. What’s Jonty doing out and about at this hour?’

  ‘He used to be an apple orchardist, and they’re always up before the sparrows, especially in spraying season, when they need to be ahead of the wind. Old habits haven’t gone away just because he’s now living in town.’

  She tugged the fridge open, peered inside.

  ‘I guess...’

  He still woke before four every morning himself, as he had in Africa. Back in New Zealand, in the deep of winter, he still couldn’t get past that hour. If he went to sleep at all. Knowing no one would attack him in the middle of the night didn’t mean he sometimes didn’t lie awake, waiting for it to happen.

  ‘I know it’s early, but do you feel like poached eggs on toast? I’ve got the munchies.’ Karina raised an eyebrow in his direction.

  ‘I’m starving.’

  Another habit he hadn’t ditched: eating whenever he could because he didn’t know when his next meal might turn up. The shrink he’d seen a few times after being released had told him that would eventually change back to normal, once his brain accepted that all the food he could possibly need was available any time he wanted it.

  ‘Where do you put it all?’ Karina asked, her eyes skating across his body.

  Of course she’d seen him half naked and knew how thin he was under the loose sweatshirt.

  He forced a grin. ‘I got lucky when metabolisms were being handed out. Mine’s fast and furious.’

  ‘Sure.’

  So she didn’t believe him? Sorry, that’s the best you’re going to get, lady. But he’d give her a half-truth. ‘Working in some of the places I do, you soon learn to grab whatever’s on offer because there can be many hours between meals if it’s chaotic—which it usually is.’

  ‘Why Africa?’ She collected eggs and bread, got out a pan and filled it with hot water and added a splash of vinegar. ‘It’s a long way from home.’

  ‘I went to England first.’ Why had he said that? ‘My mum’s English.’ Motor-mouth. Stop. She’d met Mum, so would know that. ‘I have a British passport and I decided to do some post-grad work in London.’ Oh, hell.

  ‘I didn’t know that.’

  Why would she? ‘Don’t tell me you and James never had any heart-to-hearts about his wayward brother?’

  Her cheeks reddened, making her prettier than ever. ‘He talked about you sometimes; usually after too many whiskies.’

  ‘Ouch.’ Logan sucked in air through gritted teeth.

  Karina laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Don’t take that as a poke for not being around. James knew you were doing what you loved.’

  She looked so earnest, so concerned for him. Not to mention downright cute, all wrapped up in her thick robe and with those fluffy slippers that looked like stuffed possums on her feet. He felt his body tilting towards her, as if he were being drawn into a vortex. A vortex he had no idea how he’d get out of if he fell over the edge.

  He pulled back a step. Then another. And soon there was enough distance between them for him to stop being so distracted.

  She’d turned away to drop bread in the toaster. He watched her hungrily. Every movement, every breath. She was beautiful. Not so much in the traditional physical sense of the word, but in her heart. In the way she helped others, always giving, sharing, trying to allay anxieties. She’d smoothed away his guilt over James, for now at least. She was very dangerous to his equilibrium.

  Another step back. ‘Thank you for telling me that.’

  ‘How many eggs?’

  ‘Two.’ He opened a cupboard and found the biggest array of tea he’d ever seen. ‘Which flavour do you want?’

  ‘Plain old gumboot variety, first thing.’

  Her lips lifted into a soft smile. And turned his stomach into a riot. Get over yourself. The woman only smiled, like she does with everyone.

  ‘Gumboot tea.’ He dredged up a chuckle. ‘My grandma used to call it that.’

  ‘So did mine. She made pots of tea so stewed you could stand a spoon in it.’ She shuddered.

  ‘What time does Mickey get up?’

  ‘After seven. Fingers crossed.’

  ‘It’s all go from then on?’

  ‘He’s got more energy than I know what to do with. Thank goodness.’

  ‘You worry about his health?’

  He placed two mugs at the breakfast bar and went to the drawer to get the cutlery out. Why wouldn’t she worry? She’d recently lost her best friend. She understood the precariousness of life. Was that the real reason why she didn’t want to move? Had she hidden herself away here?

  ‘Too much, probably. Down syndrome brings its own set of problems.’ She winced. ‘He’s been lucky so far. I’m probably looking for trouble we don’t need.’

  Seemed that was second nature to her. ‘I know he had to have heart surgery for Persistent Ductus Arteriosus soon after he was born. While James sat at Mickey’s bedside he often emailed me about his terror that his boy wouldn’t survive the after-effects of the operation.’ He’d felt close to James then, wishing he could help in some way.

  ‘Poor little mite. It must’ve been hideous. Thankfully there’ve been no lasting problems.’

  ‘You could consider he’s had his share of complications pertinent to the condition and now he’s got a straight run ahead of him?’

  Karina’s eyes met his. ‘You reckon? Not very medically technical, that approach.’

  ‘No, and nor is worrying about what he might get.’

  She smiled. ‘Thank you. Glad to have you on my side. Now, enjoy your breakfast.’

  ‘Kar—ina.’ An ear-shattering yell came from down the hall. ‘I’m up!’

  Her eye roll was over-the-top and funny.

  ‘So much for seven o’clock.’ She pushed her breakfast aside and stood.

  Logan leapt up and pressed a han
d on her shoulder, pushed downwards until she sat. ‘Let me get him. You eat your eggs.’

  The surprise on her face was worth the million questions rolling through his tired brain about what to do with Mickey.

  ‘Just give me a few pointers. Do I get him dressed for the day or are dressing gown and slippers all right for now?’

  She shook her head as she smiled. ‘Mickey will let you know.’

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ON HER WAY back to work after lunch two days later, Karina diverted to the driveway to take a nosy at the hole Logan had managed to make many times bigger than the mere nuisance it had previously been.

  ‘What was wrong with filling it with some of that gravel piled out the back?’

  ‘Don’t interfere with a man’s work,’ Jonty growled as he struggled to shovel dirt into a barrow.

  Logan stopped digging and wiped the back of his hand over his damp forehead. Why did he do that? It was diverting; it drew her gaze to his mud-smeared face. He looked exhausted and had done since first thing that morning, when she’d found him in the kitchen making porridge.

  ‘Something I remember from childhood. Gran’s oats covered in brown sugar and cream.’

  When he’d smacked his lips she’d wanted to laugh, but the breath had hitched in her throat as his tongue had slid across his bottom lip. She’d had to turn away and look for the bread to make Mickey’s toast, otherwise she’d have reached across and traced the outline of his mouth. That would have been just great for ongoing relations.

  As far as she knew he hadn’t had a nightmare last night. But judging by the shadows under his eyes he must have sat up all night trying to hold them in abeyance. He couldn’t keep doing that. She’d explain later that it was okay if he woke her. Not that he’d like that one little bit.

  Logan caught her attention. ‘There’s a drainage problem that’s caused seepage. That in turn has undermined the driveway. We’re fixing it properly to prevent it happening again.’

  What was wrong with it just being a hole that filled with water every time it rained?

  ‘It’s grown a bit bigger every time we’ve had heavy rain, but it’s not like it’s a huge problem.’ Yet.

  ‘Relax, Karina. Jonty and I’ll get it sorted. It’s not going to cost you a thing.’

  So he knew where her real concern lay. Of course he did. Hadn’t her visit to the bank been the subject of their very first conversation? ‘Thanks.’ I think.

  Then Jonty got in on the act. ‘When are you taking your car in for those tyres?’

  Damn him for asking in front of Logan. Keep this up and Logan would be thinking she was too incompetent to be raising his nephew. If he didn’t already.

  ‘I’ll get around to it over the next few days. No hurry.’

  Except she needed to get the groceries in, and there was a trailer-load of firewood to be collected from Becca’s brother’s place.

  Logan folded his hands across the end of the shovel handle and dropped his chin on top. ‘You shouldn’t leave your car unroadworthy. What if something happens to Mickey? What if it’s raining when you take him to gym practice?’

  ‘Haven’t you got a vehicle somewhere we could use? Don’t tell me you came over by bus?’

  ‘Yes, I have a rental four-wheel drive. It’s parked outside the gate.’

  She’d seen the vehicle by the kerbside for a few days but hadn’t thought anything of it. ‘Good. Have I got some chores for you!’

  I’ll ignore that smile that’s got my knickers in a twist. What was it about this man that had her hormones sitting up and taking notice when she definitely didn’t want to be interested? Who was in charge of her body’s reactions anyway? Logan or her?

  He shrugged and banged the shovel into the hole. ‘Sure. Any time.’

  Nothing wrong with his hormones, then.

  Jonty had been standing there listening to this conversation, his eyes flicking between her and Logan, a hint of mischief in his gaze. As he opened his mouth, Karina wanted to put her hand across it to stop whatever he was about to say. But he surprised her into silence.

  ‘Get your car along to the tyre shop on Greenwood Street tomorrow and my nephew will change the tyres.’

  ‘I’ll arrange a time later. Thanks, Jonty.’ After pay day next week.

  Jonty was pulling his cell out of his pocket and punching some numbers. ‘Tomorrow,’ he growled at her. ‘Kevin—Karina’s car needs some tyres for her warrant. Do it tomorrow, will you? Yep. I’ll tell her. Put it on my account.’ Snap. The phone was off. ‘He’ll pick it up before he opens at eight.’

  ‘Jonty, you can’t go paying for my tyres.’ How embarrassing. Her eyes shifted sideways, locked with Logan’s steady grey gaze. There was no condemnation there, only understanding.

  Jonty growled. ‘I’ll pay for whatever I like. Before eight o’clock. Don’t forget.’

  ‘I won’t.’ She reached over and wrapped her arms around the generous old man. ‘Thank you so much.’

  Jonty pulled out of her hug. ‘Don’t get all silly, girl. It’s only so as you can get supplies in for our dinners.’

  She laughed. ‘Then I’ll make your favourite pudding for tomorrow night.’

  Logan paused with a shovelful of mud and stones. ‘Can I ask what that might be?’

  ‘Apple and raspberry pie with lashings of ice cream.’ She’d picked and frozen raspberries from the garden during summer, so that there would be a steady stream of pies over winter.

  Logan winked at her. ‘Vanilla ice cream?’

  ‘If you’re lucky,’ she said. ‘I’d better get to work before they send out a search party. Jonty?’ She tapped her friend’s shoulder. ‘I really do appreciate what you’re doing for me.’

  ‘Get to work, girl, and stop your blathering.’

  Jonty and Logan were laughing together as she crossed the lawn. Now that he’d retired Jonty must miss male companionship after years of employing many local men.

  Mickey seemed to have hit on the male bonding thing too. It had been almost impossible to drag him away from the men and inside for lunch. And when it had come time to go to kindergarten he’d refused, thrown a rare tantrum. That had startled Karina into giving in far too easily. She was torn between being consistent in her parenting and letting him spend time with Uncle Logan. Tomorrow she’d get him back on track.

  Karina sighed away a sense of being on the outside of things. The guys were happy doing man stuff. Nothing to get her knickers in a knot about.

  Walking into the clinic, Karina made for the nurses’ room, only to pause at the door of David’s consulting room. ‘Hi. Are you all right?’

  David was behind his desk, leaning with his forehead in his hands. The face he turned towards her was green. ‘Not really.’

  Crossing to him, she was startled to see his rubbish bin placed strategically at his feet. ‘Want to throw up, do you?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘What else? A fever? Stomach cramps?’ Her hand touched his forehead. ‘You’ve got a temperature.’

  ‘My kids came home from school the day before yesterday with the Ds and Vs. Guess they’ve passed it on.’ He groaned and held his breath. Then said, ‘It was so sudden. I was fine before lunch.’

  ‘What did you have for lunch?’

  ‘Pumpkin soup and toast.’ He shook his head carefully. ‘Not the culprit.’

  ‘Guess not. You’d better go home and get into bed. If you stay here you’ll pass it on to patients and staff.’

  What about the patients he’d seen earlier? Had they already caught the bug?

  ‘The waiting room’s full.’ David groaned again.

  ‘I’ll ask Logan to fill in for you. After I’ve phoned your wife to come get you.’

  ‘She can’t leave the kids home alone.’ He
reached for the bin and Karina stepped back as he heaved.

  ‘Then I’ll take you. Just stay in here until I get back.’ She placed a box of antiseptic-infused tissues on the desk at his elbow. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’

  Back outside, she called, ‘Logan, we’ve got a problem. David’s been taken ill and the patients are backing up already. Can you help out?’

  He was a partner in the clinic, after all.

  ‘Sure. Sorry, Jonty, we’ll have to leave this for now.’ Already Logan had placed the shovel on top of the wheelbarrow and was striding towards the house. ‘Karina, tell David I’ll be there in ten minutes. I need to clean up and change into something a little more presentable.’

  ‘Mickey, you’re going to have to go to kindy now. Uncle Logan’s going to work.’

  ‘No!’ Mickey screamed, and ran to hide in the garden shed.

  ‘What’s that about?’ Karina stared after him.

  Logan shrugged. ‘I’d say he’s happier playing at home, that’s all.’

  Jonty headed for the shed. ‘I’ll sort him. You get him some clean clothes.’

  Karina followed Logan to the back door. ‘Can I use the four-wheel drive to take David home?’

  ‘Keys are on my bed.’ He sat on the top step at the back door to tug off the now filthy work boots that had used to belong to James. ‘What’s David’s problem?’ he asked as she stepped past him.

  ‘Probably a twenty-four-hour tummy bug. He says his children came home with it two days ago. I did hear about something doing the rounds yesterday, but this is the first I’ve seen of it. I hope Mickey hasn’t caught it from one of his playmates.’

  ‘Nothing wrong with his energy levels all morning.’ Logan stood up and went inside in his damp socks, leaving wet footprints on the clean vinyl of the laundry floor and all the way through the kitchen.

  Karina pulled a face at his back. She’d washed the floors only that morning, before going to work, and now there was a trail of size-twelve outlines cutting across the middle of them. She guessed that was what having a man living in the house meant.