by Wendi Felter
“You know I never abused her?” The soulless eyes narrowed.
“I’m sure she made that up.” Where was Heaven? And the twins! God, he hoped the twins stayed quiet. Gavin had no clue that they’d been born early…he had to clear his head and keep the crazed man talking. “How did you find us at the mall?”
Gavin grinned with arrogance. “I’ve both paid others to watch her for me and watched her myself since then. I park in rental cars at the mini-mall, where you have to turn to go into town.” He shrugged and his gun moved when he did. “I followed you. After you beat me up…” his smile wavered and his eyes turned to slits “… I still watched you, but decided to distance myself for a while – make you two let down your guard. I knew I’d have a crack at both of you one day, if I only exercised patience.” He suddenly grimaced and almost dropped his gun.
Damon took a step forward, but Gavin recovered and had the gun aimed at his chest again.
“I can get you aspirin,” Damon said, his heart galloping. “You still have a headache?”
Gavin firmed his grip on the gun. “My headaches are none of your business.” He grimaced again, but his hand didn’t waver this time. “Give her to me or I’ll blast you away and find her myself, headache or not.”
“You’ll go to jail. You can’t g-get away with kidnapping and – and murder—”
Gavin laughed, placing his free hand on his head. “Cops are stupid, Steele. I’ve done Internet searches. Most murders are unsolved.”
“And you think yours will be one?” Damon thought of the close circuit television security system recording this entire scenario. If anyone survived, the police would watch the entire event, and the right person would be arrested.
“I’m smarter than the cops,” Gavin said and Damon could tell that he believed it.
“Then shoot me.” He took a chance and challenged him with his voice and eyes. “Do it, if you think you can get away with it.”
“I don’t want to do it. I’d rather take her the easy way and not even risk arrest…”
“But you’re smarter than the c-cops. They won’t get you.”
Gavin shut his eyes briefly and Damon almost rushed him again, but he recovered too quickly. “Damn head!” Gavin blasted. “Stay back, man! I’m going to get Heaven! She’s here! If you don’t get out of my way, I will kill you! The odds favor me getting away with it. I’ll kill to get my woman. And she’ll never escape from me this time! I’ll keep her chained up all the time!”
Damon watched his feet, looking for signs of movement. “And when she has the baby?” Keep him talking…Lord, keep him talking. Maybe a miracle would happen if only he could keep the crazed man talking…
“I don’t want a baby! I’ll do away with the baby! And right now, since you aren’t cooperating with me, I think I’ll start my kill fest.” He steadied the gun.
“Gavin, I’ll come with you. Quietly. You don’t need to threaten him.”
Damon’s heart leaped to his throat as he swung his gaze to the upstairs hallway. Leaning against the railing, her expression falsely bright, Heaven stood, looking calm and relaxed. “I’ve missed you, Gavin. Don’t bother killing that loser. I couldn’t bear if you went to jail.”
“Heaven!” Gavin and Damon shouted her name at the same time.
“Heaven, go back in the room!” Damon shouted.
The barrel of Gavin’s gun shoved under Damon’s chin.
“Put that away,” Heaven said, in a bored voice. “Gavin, after all these months apart, you think I want you arrested? He’s not worth it. He doesn’t understand my…problems. I was afraid you didn’t want me anymore or I would have come sooner.”
“That’s not how you acted at the mall!”
Damon wanted to strangle him and wondered if he arms were long enough.
“I didn’t know at the time,” Heaven said, with a mild frown. “I know now. I want you, not him. And guess what? We have a baby!”
Damon shuddered. What was she doing? But he knew. She’d try to save him…she’d do anything…just as he’d do anything to save her. And, although she’d brought up a baby, she had no intention of showing this madman either of the twins. She was bluffing. Still…
“I don’t want a baby,” Gavin said, between clenched teeth, and then he groaned in pain again. “If you want the brat, get it and come down here. My head is killing me. You know about my migraines. Coming down here is the only way to save Steele.”
“I know, dear. I’m just going to get the baby. Wait a second.” She smiled at him.
Damon’s body jolted as she disappeared.
Gavin stood in place, one hand on his head. The hand with the gun shook a bit. It was now or never. He may have no other chance and refused to let Heaven anywhere close to him.
Damon lunged at him, knocking him to the ground, just as a gunshot exploded in a deafening blast…then another one.
Heaven’s footsteps echoed throughout the house and she was at his side in, what seemed like, less than a second. Damon, stunned from hitting the floor, wondered why he didn’t feel any pain, but maybe that came later…
Heaven climbed on top of him, shielding him, hugging him, grabbing him around the neck. “Damon! Damon!” she sobbed, and he didn’t understand it. Why would she handle him so roughly if he’d been shot?
“Gavin’s dead,” Dave mumbled in awe. “Heaven killed him. I looked up and saw her get a shot off just as he shot at you. Damon…Heaven saved your life!”
Damon vaguely heard his words as he wrapped her in his arms, mumbling incoherently. “My brave girl, my precious girl, the love of my life, I was so afraid, so afraid…you shouldn’t have risked yourself for me.”
She grabbed him so tightly that he could barely breathe; he hugged her, their heartbeats thundering. She desperately searched for his lips and found them and they locked in a soulful kiss that made him feel she was trying to suck a part of him inside of her…and he felt the same intensity. Both were trembling, breathing erratically, and gripping one another with all the forces that they could.
After the cops had come, taken the body, and watched the videotape, Damon, exhausted and emotionally spent, dragged himself and Heaven up the stairs. Under no circumstances would he ever let her out of his sight again. He could have lost her. Gavin could have killed her… Gavin…dead… Heaven… She’d risked herself for him, brave and foolish girl. Himself…a wreck, but alive and with the woman he loved.
How foolish he’d been to make himself believe he could live without her. He wouldn’t even be alive without Heaven. He had a lot of making up to do, but first he had to see her through this nightmare. As he set her on the Damonress, she stirred and groaned and he climbed on top of her, forcing his arms around her body, hugging her, as he’d never done before, kissing her all over her face.
“I promise – everything will be all right from now on,” he whispered. “Everything is going t-to be fine from now on. “Lullaby…and good night…” She stilled and her lips turned up to a smile as he sagged into the Damonress and breathed against the side of her face. A few minutes later, he sang to her again, as he stroked her luscious hair with his fingers. They were the lullabies his mother had sometimes sung to him. He hoped that comforted Heaven the way they’d once comforted him.
Chapter Thirty-One
Three days later, Heaven was still groggy from tranquilizers. Damon never left her bedside. Aiden had stayed home from college to watch Kendra and the twins. Damon had been and still was eternally grateful. Heaven seemed unresponsive, even beyond the medication. The shock had settled in and, even after talking to Francesca, she couldn’t be reached. He wasn’t surprised—had been told it was normal—but it worried him. He sat on the mattress, beside her limp body, taking in her pain. It wounded him to see her hurting so badly. As he stroked her face, he felt a tic in her cheek, which encouraged him.
“Heaven? Are you with me, love?”
She nodded, but her eyes didn’t open.
“Talk to me, please
. You told me that talking helps and you were right.” He stared down at her.
“I wasn’t even sure I could shoot straight.”
One side of his mouth twitched up. “I guess you found out you can.” He sobered. “You don’t feel guilty, I hope.”
“I didn’t have any choice. Couldn’t let him kill you or get the twins.” She sounded at peace, and that comforted him. She’d be all right. He just had to be there for her while she sorted through it. She was strong, and she’d come out of this even stronger. “I worked for his father. He seemed like a nice man.”
Damon caressed her hair, loving her so much; she cared for others more than herself. “If you want, his parents can see the twins. They’re the grandparents.”
“Maybe.” She seemed stiff under his fingers and it scared him, but he pushed his fear aside to concentrate on her.
His next thought rushed at him. After coming so close to losing her to Gavin, he wanted to do it though. Maybe this sort of security would help her. He certainly knew his mind now; no longer did he wallow in ambivalence. If she knew he’d do his best to forever protect and cherish her, maybe it would soothe her.
Funny how seeing her in danger had taken away all his doubts. He decided to speak his mind and see how she reacted. It was time to finally ask her to marry him. He felt so strongly about it; in his heart he knew she’d been right all along. And he tried to spit out the words, but his cursed stammer tongue-tied him.
Heaven spoke first. She whispered so softly he thought he’d heard her wrong so he lowered himself to the Damonress, kicking off his shoes. Lying beside her, he tried to believe he’d imagined her words. Finally, his throat loosened, allowing him to speak. “Wh-what did you say?”
She turned her head from him. “You heard me.”
When he recovered enough to choke something out, he said, “So much has happened with Gavin—d-don’t make decisions now—”
“I made this decision before I shot Gavin.” Her voice had gained strength and he suddenly felt as if he were floating in a void; an abyss.
“You clung to me and said you loved me—after it happened with Gavin.”
“I was terrified he’d killed you. That didn’t mean I’d decided to stay with you.”
“You can’t leave.”
His words echoed in his head. He had to stop her, but he didn’t know how. Didn’t have a clue—she’d caught him off-guard. Why wouldn’t she look at him?
“You’re surprised,” she said, in a flat monotone. “After we made love, and you still couldn’t commit to me, I decided to go, remember? I haven’t changed my mind. You—”she sighed, a fatigued sound. “You don’t want to make a commitment.”
“I do—”
“No, you’re just saying that. Every moment I’ve spent with you is about how you can’t commit to me, even though you love me…its too painful. You’ll change your mind tomorrow.” Her voice had started shaking and he didn’t want to further upset her, although he felt as if she’d punched him in the stomach with an anvil…
She hadn’t finished demolishing him yet. “Now that…Gavin’s gone…I can move close by. You don’t need to help me plan this big move to another state or country. I’ll find a nice little apartment and just go.” She choked on a sob. “I can’t convince you I’d never leave a committed relationship, so I may as well cut my losses and start over.”
He shut his eyes. She meant it. He could feel it. “Kendra?” he could only manage the one word.
“I’ll stay until you find a replacement, but it’s best if…we don’t see each other after I go. I—it would hurt too much. Damon, you’ve hurt me so much.” She broke into tears.
Damon felt a gigantic lump clogging his throat and stroked her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
Well, how predictable was it though? He always hurt the ones he loved. And, God, he loved her, with all his heart and soul.
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I’m tired, Damon. I’m going to take a nap. Try to hire somebody as soon as you can.”
He bowed his head, unable to process everything. “What if I asked you to marry me?”
The words just bubbled out, no stammer, nothing. He peeked up at her.
She laughed through her tears, not turning her head towards him. “You’ll change your mind tomorrow. Look, I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but you can’t commit. You try, but it scares you. Please don’t talk about this anymore. I’ve made a final decision—for my sake. You don’t need to sit with me either. I’m fine alone.”
“No.” He didn’t want to get up; didn’t want to leave her. God help him, she couldn’t walk out of his life!
Ever.
“Yes. Please go.”
He put a trembling hand on her shoulder, leaned over, and kissed her cheek.
“All right, love,” he said, feeling a wrecking ball inside of him. “I’ll go, if that’s what you want.” He waited, hoping she’d tell him she didn’t really want that.
No words emerged from her. She didn’t even move.
He finally straightened and stood up, his knees weak. With a final glance at her, he pushed his hair off his forehead and walked to the door, feeling his world collapsing around him. Heaven and the twins were his everything. How could he make her believe that he wanted her forever? His actions in the past had contradicted any wish for commitment. How could he get through to her that he’d changed? Was it possible?
He slammed into his bedroom and locked the door. The lump in his throat choked him, as he lay down on his bed, his side buried into his quilt, his knees pulled up. Covering his face with a hand, he let himself spill his grief. At least nobody could see him weeping.
Heaven couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. The last few days had been exhausting, and she could barely think. Had she made the right decision? Yes. Even now, Damon, obviously upset, didn’t want to marry her. Oh, sure, he’d said he’d do it, but she knew he’d back off tomorrow, once he thought it over. And he’d shatter her all over again.
She thought back to the first time she’d seen him—so handsome, so closed up, so defensive, so protective of his feelings. Slowly, he’d let down his guard a little, but then he’d build up the wall again, over and over and over. He simply didn’t love her as much as she loved him, and he never would. It hurt, but the truth often did. Her soul belonged to him. He owned all of her. The tears streamed down her face and her body shook.
Damon couldn’t trust anybody, even her. In the end, she’d look back one day and be happy she’d left. She would always love him; that she didn’t doubt. But she’d realize that it couldn’t have worked out. She’d always have her babies.
She’d always have her memories, too. Nobody could take those away from her. Nor the pictures she’d drawn of him in her sketchbook.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Exactly one week later, Damon sat in his study, where he now spent most of his time, when not at the shelters. He didn’t do much in there. Reading didn’t work because he couldn’t concentrate. When Kendra came to talk to him, he tried to pay attention, but could only nod at her and try to smile. Aiden, still home from college to help out, never bothered him. Aiden knew when to leave him alone, and he appreciated that. He barely had enough energy to breathe, let alone hold a conversation.
Heaven, of course, kept her distance from him. She worked with Kendra more than usual and did the housework while ignoring him.
He always wanted to tell her to stop with the housework; he’d do it; he’d hire a maid. He knew she hurt, and wanted her to take it easy, but she never looked approachable. He ate dinner with Kendra. Heaven came downstairs to eat late at night. A few times he’d stood on the bottom step, wanting to talk to her, but unsure of what to say. He’d only make things more awful if he tried. Worse, his words would tangle in his throat.
He’d tried to put off hiring a new caregiver for Kendra, but after he’d found a newspaper with apartment ads circled, he had to do it. Kendra needed somebody. If Heaven was
hell bent on leaving, she would and he’d have to let her. It would destroy him, but he loved her enough to allow it without a fight. Even if it killed him. And it might. There was a knock on the door. He shut his eyes and let out a breath.
“Yes?”The door opened and Francesca stepped inside. Damon didn’t have enough strength to try sounding cordial. “Visiting Heaven?”
“Yes, but she needed to go shopping. Dave took her and Kendra and I stayed here so I could talk to you. I don’t have much time. They won’t be gone long.” Damon didn’t feel up to her shrink talk. He nodded and rubbed his tired eyes. “What?”
Did it matter? Did anything matter?
Francesca swept into the room and turned his desk chair around to face him. She sat down. “Heaven found an apartment. She’s waiting for you to hire somebody, and then she’ll leave.”
Damon tried not to show any emotion. He nodded. It would be over soon. His life. Heaven sustained him, like oxygen, and he’d be dead inside without her.
“Are you going to let her leave, Damon?”
“No. I’m g-going to lock her in a cage.” He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. “I’m sorry.”
“I think there’s still a glimmer of hope.”
He perked up for the first time all week. “Did she say so?”
“No, she insists this is her final decision.”
He turned his head, stomach dropping.”But I don’t think she wants to really do this. She just doesn’t believe you’ll ever marry her.”
He laughed.
“Is it funny to you?” She sounded irritated.
“No.” He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “I j-just find it ironic. I’m past my old fears and I want to marry her, b-but she doesn’t believe me. And I don’t know how to make her believe me. She d-doesn’t even talk to me anymore.” The stuttering. Worse due to the pressure he felt, and the sadness.
“I tried telling her, Damon. I know how you feel, but she doesn’t believe me either. You’re actions in the past—” Her brown eyes softened behind her glasses. “You need to give it one more shot. For both your sakes.”