by Irene Hannon
She stiffened in his arms. “She isn’t a problem, Luke. She’s a person.”
Way to go, Turner.
“I realize that. I’m sorry. But there are other issues. Like geography. I have a job waiting for me in Atlanta. Your life is here.”
She played with a button on his shirt, and he had to force himself to concentrate on her words.
“I love Gram’s cottage. It will always be my refuge. But my work is mobile. Most of my business comes from my website anyway, and if I do design a line of quilted items, those will be mass-produced elsewhere. Besides, I think my shop mate may soon retire. Dorothy and Charles are getting serious, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a wedding in the not too distant future. If that happened, I’d close my shop and work from home.”
So Hannah had been right. Kelsey wasn’t married to Michigan. That was good news.
She lifted her chin, and her hand stilled as she continued. “And home could be anywhere. As long as I’m with the people I love.”
Including Grace.
They were back to square one.
Yet he didn’t want to lose this woman. She belonged here, in his arms. He was becoming more and more certain of that with every passing day.
“Maybe we could give this some time, Kelsey. I might be able to work through my issues with Grace.”
She let out a long sigh. “I guess it’s unrealistic to expect you to welcome her with open arms, since I had no idea how I would react to her when she was born.” Then her spine stiffened, and her expression grew fierce. “But I don’t want you to accept Grace just to get me. I would never, ever want her to think she was excess baggage.”
Luke wished his willingness to consider accepting Grace had a nobler motive. But Kelsey had him pegged. He was wavering because he wanted her—not her daughter—in his arms.
And Kelsey seemed to intuit that. Slowly disengaging from his embrace, she stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest.
“I wish things were different, Luke.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “So do I.”
“Well…thanks again for helping with the crib.” She edged past him and led the way to the back door, leaving him no choice but to follow.
When she pushed it open for him, he caught the glimmer of tears in her eyes, and he took an involuntary step toward her.
She jerked back and shook her head, angling away from him. “Don’t.”
At her choked plea, he checked himself. He’d made one mistake already, with the kiss. He didn’t want to compound it. “I’ll talk to you this week—about the benefit.”
She gave a stiff nod.
As he exited through the screened porch, he heard the door close behind him.
And Luke had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that she was closing the door not just on her house, but on her heart.
Chapter Sixteen
At the sound of the doorbell, Kelsey shifted Grace onto her shoulder and gently began to pat her back as she headed toward the front of the house.
“Come on, sweetie. Burp for me, okay? Please?”
That pleading refrain had been Kelsey’s mantra in the two days since she’d brought her daughter home. The sweet, compliant little bundle of joy in the hospital nursery had morphed into a fussy, unhappy baby who didn’t want to eat, sleep or poop, let alone burp.
A call to the help line at the birth center had reassured her Grace’s fussiness and irritability were normal, that she just needed time to adjust to her new environment. But it was nerve-wracking. At only an ounce over five pounds, Grace couldn’t afford not to eat.
The bell rang again and she picked up her pace, irritated.
She did not need a visitor.
But when she found Reverend Howard on her doorstep, holding a basket of flowers with balloons attached, a small, stuffed animal with a bow around its neck tucked under his arm, she relented. After all the hours she’d spent bending his ear as she agonized over her decision, she owed him more than the quick call she’d made after Grace’s birth to inform him she was keeping her baby.
“Is this a good time?” He eyed the bundle on her shoulder. “Tell me if it’s not and I’ll leave these things and stop in some other day.”
“To be honest, no time has been good recently.”
As if to verify that point, Grace spit up on her shoulder. Kelsey felt the dampness seep through the towel.
“I’ll come back.”
The minister started to set his gifts inside the front door, but Kelsey stepped back and motioned him in. “No, please stay. I could use a distraction for a few minutes. Let me just get rid of this towel.”
She ushered him into the living room and gestured toward the sofa. “Have a seat. I’ll be right back.”
A quick detour to the improvised nursery took care of the towel, but her attempts to put Grace in her crib were met with howls of protest. Kelsey sighed. No way could she ignore her child’s distress—as Grace had already learned. She picked her up again, bouncing her slightly in her arms as she rejoined the minister and took a seat on the couch beside him.
He leaned close for a look, and Kelsey folded back the blanket. The baby stared up at him and hiccupped.
“She’s a cutie.”
“Thank you. She also has a good set of lungs.”
“Not getting much sleep, I assume?”
“Not enough.” She picked up the stuffed animal the minister had set on the coffee table and tucked it next to Grace. “Thank you for this and the flowers.”
“My pleasure. Celebrating the miracle of birth is always a joy. Other than not getting much sleep, how are you feeling?”
“Physically, okay. Emotionally, at peace.” She stroked a finger down Grace’s satin-smooth cheek, giving her a tender smile as the baby grabbed it.
“I can see that. I’m happy for you.”
“I kept meaning to call you back and talk more. But things have been hectic.”
“So I heard. I thought you might be up to attending services Sunday, but Luke told me afterward that Grace was coming home that day. I imagine you’ve had your hands full.”
“That would be an understatement.”
“Luke also filled me in on all the publicity work you’ve been doing since our celebrity guest agreed to come to the benefit. He’s very grateful. We all are.”
“It’s a worthy cause. Carlos sounded like he was a man worth honoring.”
“I know his friendship meant a lot to Luke. As a matter of fact, so does yours.”
Grace emitted a soft sigh and burrowed deeper into the blanket, giving Kelsey an excuse to look down. “He’s a very special man.”
“Who thinks you’re very special as well.”
Kelsey swallowed past the sudden tightness in her throat. “But he doesn’t think that about Grace.”
“He has nothing against Grace, Kelsey. He recognizes that she’s an innocent party in this whole situation, and that she’s a child of God. But he has concerns about his ability to love her as she deserves to be loved.”
“I’m not willing to settle for anything less.”
“He knows that. That’s why he’s struggling.”
“Loving someone shouldn’t have to be a struggle.”
“Ah, my dear.” The hint of a smile touched the minister’s lips. “Loving people is often a struggle in our imperfect world. The important thing is to keep trying with a sincere heart. And he is trying.”
Kelsey creased the edge of Grace’s blanket between her fingers. “Did he ask you to talk to me?”
“No. But I’ve come to admire him a great deal in these past weeks. And you, over the past few months. I can’t help but feel God brought the two of you together for a reason.”
“Maybe it was simply to give Carlos’s dream wings.”
“Perhaps. Then again, He may have had something more in mind. Many blessings come in unexpected ways, as you well know. That’s why it’s important for us to be open to the opportunities He sends our way.�
�� The man rose, rested a gentle hand on Grace’s head and moved to the door. “I’ll let myself out. Call if you need anything.”
Long after the door closed behind him, Kelsey remained on the couch, Grace’s rosebud lips suckling in sleep, her countenance peaceful. Already Kelsey loved her more than life itself.
Was it possible, given time, Luke could feel the same way?
She thought back to the story he’d told her about the roadside bomb, and how he’d barricaded his heart afterward in order to survive. Initially, he’d resisted Carlos’s efforts to break through those walls. Had considered the man a pest. Yet Carlos had triumphed in the end. With his solid faith, persistence and positive outlook, the young medic had won Luke’s respect, friendship and love.
Could Grace’s innocent sweetness work the same magic in his heart, over time?
As she settled back into the corner of the couch, her baby tucked close, Kelsey’s eyelids grew heavy. Should she risk a romance with Luke and pray he’d come to love Grace as she did? Or was she doing a disservice to all of them by holding out hope for a fairy-tale ending?
Kelsey had no idea. But as she hovered in that ethereal state between slumber and wakefulness, she sent a silent plea to the One who did.
Lord, please show me the way.
Sliding into his car as the bells at St. Francis chimed the midnight hour several blocks away, Luke loosened his bow tie and took a deep breath.
The dinner auction had been a resounding success. The hotel ballroom had been packed, every auction item had sold at an amazing price, and his talk about Carlos had been met with a standing ovation. Best of all, they’d raised every dollar needed to not only build the youth center, but fund an endowment, as Kelsey had predicted.
Too bad she couldn’t have been there to witness the fruits of her labors.
Luke turned the key in the ignition, backed out of the parking spot and headed toward Pier Cove, his thoughts on Kelsey. Her absence had been the only flaw in the evening. They’d made plans weeks ago to attend together, but with Grace home from the hospital for just six days, she hadn’t wanted to leave her. He understood.
But he’d missed her.
In fact, he’d been missing her all week, despite the daily phone calls he made from his cell as he ran to meetings and interviews, dealt with their special guest star and finalized banquet arrangements. Twice he’d stopped by when he’d been home during the day, but that had been a mistake. Both times he’d awakened her, and she’d met him at the door bleary-eyed and sleepy. In light of the dark circles under her eyes and the lines of fatigue on her face, he hadn’t wanted to risk interrupting her much-needed rest again.
Still, having her by his side tonight would have been the proverbial icing on the cake. They could have celebrated the moment together.
As he covered the dark miles between Saugatuck and Pier Cove, Luke thought about the ovation he’d received tonight as he’d spoken of the young medic who had inspired him, and whose memory the youth center would honor. And he hoped Carlos somehow knew his dream would become a reality. That thanks to him, other teens would have the chance to turn their lives around, just as he had.
Now, his mission completed, he could go home. And move on with his life.
Except the thought of doing that without Kelsey left a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Exiting I-196 at Pier Cove, he drove down the narrow, woodsy road that paralleled the shore, anxious to get home. The only thing on his agenda for the next two days was a meeting with the Interdenominational Youth Fellowship board to wrap things up and talk about the role he’d play as an advisory board member until the center was completed. That left him plenty of time to focus on Kelsey—his top priority.
There was no way he could walk away from her in three days with no hope of ever seeing her again. He had to convince her to give him a chance to learn to love Grace.
Luke wasn’t certain he could get past the trauma of her conception and the bad feelings it invoked. But he’d been praying about it, and he hoped, with God’s grace, he could manage it.
Because if he couldn’t, there was no future for him and Kelsey. It wouldn’t be fair to any of them.
The headlights picked out his driveway ahead, and he swung in, glancing at Kelsey’s house through the trees. As he’d discovered during his stay, she left lights on at night. A lot of lights. Considering what she’d been through, her aversion to darkness and shadows didn’t surprise him.
But tonight there were far more lights on than usual.
As he braked to a stop and slid out of the car, the faint wail of a baby floated through the cool night air.
If Grace was awake, so was Kelsey.
Luke was tempted to cut through the trees and knock on her door. But it was the middle of the night, and while she might be awake, she was probably not in the mood for visitors. A recap of the evening could wait until a decent hour.
He was starting to turn away when he heard a crash from Kelsey’s cottage. The baby’s wails increased in volume.
Following his instincts, he switched direction and strode through the trees toward her back door. From the screen porch, he caught a glimpse of her through the kitchen window. The counter was littered with broken crockery, the baby was wailing in her arms and tears were running down her cheeks.
He moved to the back door, calling through the window as he knocked. “Kelsey, it’s Luke.”
At the sound, she swung toward him, then stumbled toward the door. He heard a startled exclamation as he lost sight of her, and a moment later the locks were flipped. The door was pulled open. Then Kelsey stood before him, still bouncing Grace on her shoulder.
She was a mess.
Her hair was tangled, there were bruise-like shadows under her eyes, her T-shirt was stained and she was trembling.
“What’s going on? I heard the crash as I pulled in.”
“I was up anyway, so I thought I’d empty the d-dish-washer. The plates slipped when I tried to s-slide them in the cabinet.”
In one sweep, Luke took in the scene behind her. It looked as if several plates had shattered on the countertop and floor. There was also a trail of blood leading across the floor to her foot.
His adrenaline surging, he reached for the baby. “You’re hurt.” The infant scrunched Kelsey’s T-shirt in her fists, and Luke had to pry them free. Settling the squirming, kicking, screaming bundle against his chest, he motioned Kelsey toward a kitchen chair, away from the mess on the floor. “Sit down and let me see your foot.”
With a distressed look at her howling daughter, she limped over to the chair.
Once she was settled, Luke handed Grace back, dropped to one knee and picked up Kelsey’s bare foot. The inch-long gash on the bottom was jagged but not deep enough to need stitches. Setting her foot on an adjacent chair, he rose. “Where’s your first aid kit?”
“In the hall closet. Where the ice pack was.”
He found it in thirty seconds. After cleaning the cut and bandaging it, he closed the box and motioned toward the baby, who continued to cry. “Does she need to be fed or changed?”
“I just finished both.”
“Good.” He tugged his tie free from his collar, slipped off his jacket and plucked Grace from her arms again. “You need to get some sleep.”
“Every time I try to put her down, she cries.”
“Babies are very good at training their parents that way.” He flashed her a quick grin. “But I’ll hold her until she settles down. And I’ll stick around for a while, so you can get at least a couple of hours of sleep.”
He could tell she was tempted. But he also saw the flash of guilt in her eyes.
“I’m not tired, Kelsey. I’m still on a high from the dinner. You won’t believe how much we raised.” When he told her the amount, her mouth dropped open. “Add that to all the individual and corporate contributions that have come in over the past few weeks, and we not only have our center, we have the endowment fund you hoped for.”
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A smile of delight chased away her fatigue. “That’s fabulous, Luke.”
“We’ll talk more tomorrow. Now go get some sleep.”
“Are you sure?”
“Go.” He waved her toward the bedroom. “I’ll keep this little lady company.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
She was limping down the hall before he could reply.
Once she disappeared, Luke moved into the living room. Grace continued to flail in his arm, and he bounced her gently as he settled into a rocking chair with a colorful quilt draped over the back.
“How about letting your mom get some sleep, hmm? Can you do that?”
To his surprise, she snuffled and quieted as she regarded him, blue eyes swimming in tears, blond ringlets framing her cherubic face, tiny fists clenched around a pink blanket. She was cute. And now that he was up close and personal with her, he could see the features she shared with her mom. The hair was an obvious connection. But she had Kelsey’s jaw, too. Strong, with a hint of stubbornness. And her mouth—definitely the same shape as her mother’s.
Grace raised her arms toward him, never breaking eye contact, and without thinking, he lifted her to his shoulder, his hand supporting her back. She rested her head against him and snuggled close, and he heard her emit a tiny sigh as she relaxed in his arms.
When had he last held a baby? Luke couldn’t remember. Medical school, maybe. He’d forgotten how soft and fragile and vulnerable they felt.
As he continued to rock, he stroked Grace’s back. He could feel the beat of her heart as she burrowed deeper against his shoulder. As if she belonged there. As if he were her father. For her, it was simple.
And maybe it could be for him, too. Maybe instead of thinking about how she came to be when he looked at her, he needed to think about the precious gift of life she represented—and the sweet, innocent love she so willingly offered.
A love that was his for the taking. From a child who could be his daughter.
Her tiny hand worked its way across his chest toward his heart, and a rush of tenderness stole his breath and tightened his throat.