But I do have an idea. She’s rubbing it in my face that her and Kyle slept together, and I don’t like it. As if on cue, Kyle stands. He’s passing back our assignment from last week. What if my grade sucks? I think back on what I wrote and cringe.
Bitchy Spears speaks. “Mr. Hadley is passing out the information for your final paper. This is the only copy you’ll receive, so keep it safe. The final will be a third of your grade, so made it great. Wow me, people.” She proceeds to spend the next hour discussing the different thematic elements in some movie I’ve never heard of. All I want to do is fall asleep. But I don’t. I stay awake and focus. Until my phone vibrates against my leg. For once I’m grateful for stadium seating, and for being in the back row. I casually hide behind Troy, the tall guy with the basketball, the one who ran me over the first day of school. He’s on scholarship for the basketball team, and it’s obvious he’s into the sport. He seems nice. Hails from Las Vegas.
I check my cell. The text is from Kyle
Glad to see you’re okay. Want to talk?
I do want to talk to him, more than anything, but I can’t. Not with Evan lurking about. He said he would hurt my aunt and uncle, and after the way he pushed me around last night, I’m inclined to believe him.
I text back. I’m fine.
You say that, but I don’t believe you. Besides, it isn’t nice to lie to the guy you love.
I’m shocked. Why would he say that?
What? I text.
Yeah, don’t deny it. You love me, and you want me. Accept it, Freckles.
I-I?????? I remember saying the words to him. I realize they’re true. So true. Damn Gina and her stupid pain pills.
I look over at her and frown. She lifts her shoulders. “What?” she mouths.
I shake my head.
My phone vibrates. I’m watching you, Pudgy.
I gasp. I know exactly who sent me the text, and it sure as hell wasn’t Kyle. The screen says Blocked. Trying to be casual I glance around the room, but I don’t see him.
Kyle texts me. Please practice with me tonight. It’s important. Then he types a semi-colon with a parenthesis—a winking face.
A smile lifts my cheeks. As soon as I notice, I stop. Quickly type back: Okay.
Bitchy Spears is winding down. I think she’s almost finished talking when she asks a question. “What distinguishing tendencies did most early twentieth century writers have?” She scans the room. Several hands go up. Lots of students with opinions. I’m guessing that’s good. I don’t want to answer, so of course, she calls on me. “Miss Martin. Please enlighten the class.”
I sit up straight. Clasp my hands in my lap. “Um…” I pause, and Bitchy Spears interrupts.
“Obviously she’ll get an A on the final.”
The class laughs.
I shrink down in my seat. There’s plenty I could’ve said: stuff about Modernists, Realists, and even Naturalists.
My phone vibrates. I hate this class. It’s Toxic. She Drives Me Crazy.
I cover my mouth to keep from snorting.
Agreed.
The rest of the day is hard, but uneventful. I talked to all of my teachers. They’ve agreed to let me make up my work. I guess, in a small way, I have Evan to thank. The bruises on my face encourage the teachers to take pity. I see it in their demeanor.
More snow is falling. As I make my way to the Fine Arts building, I leave tracks on the sidewalk. My toes are frozen. Large snowflakes sting my face and stick to my eyelashes. I pull open the door and my body sighs in relief.
The entryway is quiet. I quickly make my way down the steps and pull open the doors to the practice rooms. A little more tension leaves my body.
Music: the soother of souls.
About halfway down the hall I hear the song Kyle played the last time he arrived before me. As before, the melody breaks my heart. It’s lovely, breathtaking. It sweeps me away to a place where I’m more comfortable, more relaxed, more at peace.
I pull open the doors and he stops.
“Hi.”
As soon as I see him, my heart speeds up. This is our sanctuary. No one can touch us when we are within these walls. Unless we allow it. He comes over, pulls my light coat off, and tosses it into a chair. I’m mesmerized by the way his hands move, the way the muscles in his forearms and biceps flex and contract. I can’t help but be taken in by the way his navy shirt hugs him from his chest all the way down to his narrow hips. Past his stonewashed denim. And, for the first time, I check out his shoes.
They’re white. Look worn. Sneakers. Comfortable. Cozy. Unassuming. Just like Kyle. And I smile.
“Hi back.”
His lips find mine immediately. No hesitation, but he’s soft. Tender. I know he’s taking into consideration my split lip, and his thoughtfulness gives me shivers. He is still urgent, I respond in kind. Hungry for him. He presses my mouth open with his lips, sucks on my tongue. My thighs, the secret place between them, suddenly jolts to life and ignites with pleasure.
I can’t keep my hands off him. They wander under his shirt and my fingers trace the places my eyes roamed only moments before. His hands cup my butt, holding me to him.
There’s a knock on the door, then it opens. I suddenly remember Evan and what he said he would do—to me, to my aunt and uncle. I feel sick.
“Hey Professor Jenkins,” Kyle says casually.
A sob of relief escapes my throat. I need to be more careful. I turn and smile.
Professor Jenkins clears his throat. Gives my face a once over. Shakes his head. “Are you warmed up? Can I hear how the piece is coming along?”
“Um, sure,” Kyle says.
We move to take our seats. After I’ve adjusted my bench, I glance at Kyle. Send him a message with my eyes. This isn’t going to be good. My fingers aren’t limber. I haven’t played in a couple of days.
Kyle saves me.
“Do you mind if we run through a couple of exercises?”
Professor Jenkins’ eyebrows rise into his salt and pepper hair. A look that asks, “What have you been doing?” He takes a seat in a chair. Crosses one leg over the other, and adjusts his clothing. “Of course. Proceed.”
I’m so happy I could reach over and kiss Kyle, but I don’t. We run through scales together for five minutes. I’m amazed at how well we play together. It’s not easy to play a song with someone else. The best duet partners learn to breathe together. For many, it takes years of practice. But with Kyle, it’s as if his heart is a part of me. I sense the beat, when he’s going to breathe. Each time I glance at Kyle, I get the feeling he’s experiencing the same thing.
My fingers are feeling better, more limber. I nod, letting him know I’m ready.
Kyle counts quietly. “One. Two. Three.” He starts to play. I join in. My fingers play the notes. My soul follows along. Soaring. Reaching. Believing. Worry about Evan, about whether I should be with Kyle, and the stress of school fade into the background.
I am the music.
I’ve had the piece memorized for a while and I play with my eyes closed, only occasionally opening them to watch Kyle when there’s a particularly difficult section. His ice-blue eyes meet mine every time I look over. Melting me. And I’m lost. In his eyes, the chords, the melody.
When it’s finished, Professor Jenkins claps. He stands, picks up his briefcase and his coat and moves to the door. “Lovely. Almost there. Keep it up. I’ll check back after Christmas break.”
He leaves. The air’s thick with a tension I hadn’t noticed before. I glance at Kyle and we both start to laugh.
“Are you staying with your aunt and uncle for Thanksgiving?” He stands and makes his way over. The butterflies in my belly flutter with eagerness.
I swallow and clear my throat. “Yes. Are you going home? I mean, to your aunt and uncle’s?”
He walks behind me, touches my back with his hand. Moves my hair out of the way and massages my shoulders.
“Mmmmmm. That feels sooooo good.” I let my head hang for
ward, giving him easier access.
His magic fingers knead the stressed muscles. Then move further down. I close the lid over the keys and lean forward.
Kyle chuckles. “I take it you don’t want me to stop.”
“I might have to hurt you if you stop.”
“Got it, Boss.” His fingers move further down my spine.
My body is humming in happiness. I think I could let him do this for hours. He moves along my waist to my sides, then presses in. My body responds like a light bulb flipped on and I whirl around, slapping his hands away. “Don’t tickle me.”
He pulls me close, nudging my neck with his nose, his lips. My heart pounds against my chest so hard I think I’ll pass out. “I want you, Maddie Martin.” His hands slide under my shirt and his hands press my body tightly against him.
I melt into him, hugging him. I want him too. But Evan’s voice is in my head. “Keep your knees together and your lips closed.”
He straddles the bench so he’s facing me. I lean in. Mesmerized by his hands on my body. When they reach my neck, he lifts my face and kisses me. Long and deep, until I press into him, dizzy with pleasure.
“Until break we’d better practice long and hard.” His voice is hoarse, filled with emotion.
I mutter something incoherent, too focused on the gratification his tongue and lips are eliciting as he blazes a trail of hot kisses over my body.
33
Maddie
Coats Are For Babies
“My Aunt and Uncle are waiting, Gina. Let’s go.” I’m trying not to act like an impatient bitch, but she’s making it difficult. At the moment she’s stuffing random clothes into a big black duffel bag. “We’re going to be gone three days, not two months. Jeans, tee shirts, shoes. That’s it. All you need.” I stomp my foot in frustration as I watch her ignore me. Open a shoebox and toss her black ankle boots into the bag.
Gina looks up. “Almost done.” She pulls a short black dress off a hanger. “You never know when you might need a party dress.” She smiles big, and it reaches her eyes, a rarity for her. It finally occurs to me that she’s excited. To meet my family. A small piece of my heart melts. I’ve sensed something going on with Gina. I’m hoping during these three days—without boys, parties, booze, or drugs—she’ll tell me what that something is. “Ready,” she says, tugging on her black leather jacket and zipping it. Wrapping a red scarf around her neck.
She walks over, tugs on my gray sweatshirt, and says, “Why the hell don’t you have a coat?”
“Coats are for babies,” I say smugly.
She snorts.
We head down on the elevator, her with her big bag, and me with a small rolling suitcase. The elevator is crowded. Hot and stuffy. When the door dings open, we burst from the small container. I look at Gina, and she smiles.
“This is going to be fun,” she says, pushing open Irvine Hall’s front doors.
I’m about to agree until I see Evan. He’s leaning against Kyle’s Jeep. His ankles and arms crossed. He’s smiling, and my heart drops into the pit of my stomach.
Kyle, I think, and frantically search for him. I see my aunt and uncle’s car. They are parked in front of Kyle’s Jeep. My heart is frenzied. I wonder if Evan knows who they are.
“Hey Maddie.” Kyle appears on my left and wraps a hand around my waist.
“Hi,” I respond, my gaze spinning back and forth between Kyle and Evan.
Kyle kisses my cheek. “Let me help you with your suitcase.”
“Um…” Evan points a finger gun at me and pretends to shoot. I look at Kyle. “That’s okay.” I walk a little faster, pulling away from his hand. “I’ll see you in a few days. ‘Kay?” My uncle gets out of the car and opens the trunk. A big smile is plastered on his face. I notice his dark hair is thinning in front. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket and tan pants. Happiness spins through me. I’m so happy to see him.
But I panic. Walking over to my uncle feels like betraying him. Giving him up. Allowing Evan to know who he is. Although I immediately realize he probably already knows. Still, I pretend not to see my uncle.
“Maddelena Eleanor Martin. Where are you going?”
I skid to a halt. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t see you.” The words sound as lame as they are.
Gina gives me a strange look. I’m about to give her an excuse when her phone chirps. She pulls it out of her pocket and looks at it. Then spins in a circle, like she’s lost something.
“I’ll be right there,” I say to my uncle, holding up a finger. Then help Gina search for whatever it is she’s looking for.
“Hustle. Your aunt is anxious to get home. Something about an I Dream of Jeanie marathon.”
I see Collin the same time Gina does. She drops her suitcase. Runs. And jumps into his outstretched arms. They kiss. Their hands roaming all over each other’s bodies, like they can’t get enough. You’d think it’d been years since they’d seen each other, instead of hours.
Collin says, “I changed my mind. My parents can suck it. I can’t leave you.” He glances at the bag she dropped. “Unless you have other plans?”
“Oh.” She steps from his arms. “I-I…” She looks at me, her eyes pleading. But I can tell she doesn’t want to be one of those girls. The kind who choose the boyfriend over the best friend. So I save her.
“Gina’s so sweet. She was helping me with my bags.” I pick up her bag and whisper, “You owe me.” I smile.
She smiles back. Mouths, “Thank you.” Puckers her lips in an air kiss. Out loud she says, “I’ll see you when you get back.” She hugs me. “Love you, Maddie. Thanks.” She pushes me back, looks at my face. “You’re like the best person I’ve ever known.”
I hug her again. “Ditto, Gina.”
She glances at Kyle, who is having a heated discussion with Evan. “Don’t do anything.” She stops. “What am I saying? Do lots of crazy stuff.”
I laugh. “Thanks. I will.”
She sidles up to Collin and kisses him like they’re alone—or should be. They walk away together. Arms around each other. It’s really sweet.
My uncle grabs the bag off my shoulder and tosses it in the trunk. I roll over the other one. “This one, too.”
He throws it in, and then hugs me tightly. “Missed you, kid.” He ruffles my hair like I’m five.
I pat my hair back into place. “Missed you, too. Thanks for coming to get me.”
He guffaws. “Of course.” Uncle John opens my door. I slide in behind my aunt.
“Hey, honey,” Aunt Eliza says.
“Hi.” I get buckled, and my uncle starts the car.
“Did you need to say good-bye to that boy?” He looks at me in the rear view mirror.
I peek out the back window. See Kyle’s looking my way. I wave. Either he doesn’t see me or he’s mad. He turns away and climbs into his Jeep. The wheels squeal as he pulls away from the curb.
“I guess not.”
My room looks the same as it did the day I left. Pale green walls, cream curtains, shelves full of books. An antique desk and chair and my queen-sized bed. I toss Gina’s bag on the bed and set my suitcase next to it. Unzip it and pull out my music. The first thing I want to do is play piano. My piano.
I climb down the stairs and head straight for the black baby grand. Lift the top and push back the lid.
Scales first. I play for a few minutes, then adjust my bench. Play more scales. Then I run through the duet I’m going to play with Kyle.
When I finish, there’s clapping from the kitchen.
“That’s beautiful, Maddie.”
“Thanks.” I fiddle with some chords. A melody that’s been rattling around in my head the past few days.
“Dinner’s ready.”
I stand. “Did you need some help? I can set the table,” I say, entering the kitchen.
My aunt wipes her eyes. “No.” She hugs me tightly. “It’s good to have you home.”
My uncle is already sitting at the small oak table and I sit across from him
in my regular seat. Aunt Eliza brings over a plate of burgers. They are covered in melted cheese and bacon. Instead of buns are glazed donuts. I raise my eyebrows in question.
“A celebration dinner,” Aunt Eliza says.
Uncle John puts two glazed donuts on his plate. Stabs a hamburger patty with a fork and places it on top of one of the donuts. Slaps some lettuce, tomato, and catsup over the top. Sticks the other donut over it. Lifts it to his mouth and takes a bite. A little catsup squishes out the side of his mouth. He wipes at it with a napkin. “Not bad.”
I shrug. Repeat the process. “Alrighty then.” I take a bite. Chew. My uncle’s right. It isn’t bad. It’s actually kind of tasty. I take another bite.
Eliza laughs. “See, John dear, she likes it.” She grabs a cookie sheet full of fries and dumps them into a bowl. Brings them over along with a container of caramel. “Would you like some fries with that?” She smiles brightly.
I giggle. “Most definitely.”
Uncle and I give the caramel fries a taste. The combination is actually surprisingly delicious. John seems to agree because he’s nodding.
I can’t help a surge of love for these two amazing people. I grab their hands and squeeze. “I’m so glad to be home.”
Kyle
“Kyle. You ready to go, man?” Evan bursts into my room as I’m throwing a pair of socks in my bag.
“Yeah, almost.” I zip the duffel bag and throw it over my shoulder. “Ready.”
He laughs, and something about it sounds strange. “Cool. Let’s go.”
I shrug. Evan is weird, and he’s been extra jumpy lately. I figure it has to do with this being his final year of college. Probably a lot of stress. Or maybe it’s just him, and I never noticed until now. We walk out of my apartment and I lock the door.
“Let’s take my car,” Evan says.
“You sure, man?”
“Get in, asshole.”
His red SUV makes a double beep sound. I pull open the back door and toss my bag in the seat. Evan’s bag is back there as well. We live ten minutes away from his parents’ house, but it’s just easier to have our stuff there. Especially since they want us to stay with them. Evan revs the engine, and we take off.
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