And not just anyone. Sawyer. The man she could no longer deny she had romantic feelings for.
All morning, as she’d been attending workshops and lectures, she’d thought long and hard about her fight with Elle and Carissa. And she couldn’t help but be reminded of all those nights in Manhattan. When she’d been surrounded by millions of people and yet had never felt more alone in her life.
It was bad enough when she found out that the man she loved was engaged to someone else. But when her coworkers discovered that she’d been dating him, they’d all turned on her.
Not one person had supported her. She’d had no one to turn to.
Her laughter abruptly stopped.
It’s not like it had been her fault. How in the world was she to know her boyfriend had a whole second life? Maybe she’d just been stupid and naive.
Wasn’t a person entitled to make a mistake now and then without being crucified for it?
An image of Elle and Carissa’s faces when she’d told them she was the blogger flashed into her mind.
Not quite the same scenario as New York, yet she still felt that mind-numbing loneliness.
She’d almost forgotten he was there for a second. But when Sawyer scooped her up into his arms and hugged her it was, without a doubt, exactly what she needed at that moment. The special dinner and amazing dessert were an awesome mood-boost, but this hug was even better than a pedicure.
“Thank you,” she mumbled against his shirt. Then she rapped a knuckle against his chest. “You’re overly kind to me, Sawyer.” She swept her hand out to indicate the meal he’d had delivered. “This is the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time.”
“You almost started crying and then you started laughing hysterically, instead. If the chocolate cake didn’t bring on the emotions, what did?”
“Uh...” she stuttered. “It’s just that...” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him.
“You know, Ri, maybe if you tell me what it is that seems to be frustrating you it might make you feel better. I might be able to help you. Because I know it has to be more than the fight with Elle and Carissa.”
“I don’t want you to think differently of me.”
He sighed loudly. “Do you really think so little of me?”
“No, of course not.”
His face was so earnest and his eyes held such patience. It undid her.
They sat on the bed and she told him everything.
“I’m a fraud, Sawyer.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know how glamorous I used to make my life seem when I lived in New York? How I would post all those pictures on Facebook and talk about how fabulous everything was when I came home for holidays?”
“Sure.”
She took a deep breath. “None of it was true.”
“What do you mean?”
“It was...awful.” Her voice hitched. She placed her hand on her chest to calm herself. “There was nothing glamorous about my life. I think my cubicle at the Bugle is bigger than my apartment was.”
“Most people’s first apartments are pretty crappy,” he said diplomatically.
“Most people don’t leave their windows unlocked and return home to find their laptop, television, iPod and cell phone stolen.”
He winced and then swore under his breath. “I never heard about that.”
“I never told anyone.” He cursed again. “I mean, I obviously called the cops. They never found my stuff. In fact, they told me I was in the wrong for leaving my window open when I lived on the first floor in broad view of the street.”
“Ri...” He covered her hand, but she abruptly pushed him away.
“No,” she said, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “I need to tell you everything.”
He took her hand. “Okay.”
“I was always so popular in high school. I got along with everyone. College was a lot of the same. Then I moved to Manhattan, and all of a sudden I didn’t know a soul.” She twisted her hands together. “I thought I would meet people quickly. It had never been a problem for me before. I found my job so fast that I figured I would hang with my new coworkers.”
“You didn’t?”
She shook her head slowly. “I was a fish out of water at that place. It was a social media company that began as a start-up and most of my coworkers had been around since the beginning. I was the youngest by at least five or six years. It was also a very male-dominated staff. And the few women were, well, kind of intense. I mean, completely brilliant and talented, don’t get me wrong. But you should have seen them. They were so sophisticated and put-together. They looked like they’d just walked off the runway and found their way to the office.”
“What are you talking about? You always look amazing.”
“Not compared to them. These women were sitting front row at fashion week while I was cowering outside the tent wishing and hoping I could get one glimpse inside. They carried Gucci purses and I bought knockoffs down on Canal Street.
“Every day I went into that office and was reminded that I didn’t fit in. Not completely.” She took a deep breath. She had to in order to say this. “I felt so incredibly lonely.”
“Why didn’t you ever talk to me about this? Or your parents? Or anyone from Bayside?”
She’d been embarrassed. Even now, her shoulders were tensing up simply from speaking aloud her memories of that time.
“I’d wanted to live in New York my entire life. How could I ever tell anyone that it was miserable?”
She ran a hand through her hair. “Then I met Connor.”
Sawyer sat up straighter, but he remained silent.
“He was thirty, which seemed so old and mature and worldly back when I was twenty-two.”
His lips twitched. “Not so much anymore?”
“Nah.” She slid the slippers from her pedicure off and folded her legs under her. “Instead of making friends to go to happy hours with, I ate lunch by myself every day. I was always broke so it was usually ramen noodles.”
Sawyer rose, poured two glasses of wine and handed one to her. “Go on.”
“Connor must have noticed I was constantly alone. I thought he was sensitive. Now I see his behavior differently.”
“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Sawyer asked, his fingers tightening around his wineglass.
She didn’t answer him. She had to keep going. “Connor and I started dating. At least, I thought we were dating. Turns out, I wasn’t the only person he’d been dating. In fact, he was engaged to someone else.”
Sawyer rolled his neck. She could hear it crack. “You never suspected this Connor guy was cheating on you?” His words came out terse.
“Never.” She shook her head adamantly. “Then he was promoted in a reorganization. That new position made him my boss.”
“None of your coworkers knew you were seeing each other?”
“Nope. He made a point of telling me we had to be even more covert about our relationship because he didn’t want anyone to think I’d be getting special treatment because I was dating my manager. There was no policy against it—he was just worried about appearances. Again, I didn’t see it for what it was.”
“What was it?”
“He took advantage of the fact that I was all alone.”
Sawyer rose and poured more wine in his glass before returning to the bed. “There wasn’t anyone else in the office you could talk to? What about HR?”
“It was a small marketing and communications company. The president had started it out of his living room. We had an HR consultant but he didn’t work in the office.”
She took a deep breath. “I didn’t feel comfortable talking to any of the guys. As for the women on staff, I kind of got the impression they were disgusted. Like they thought I was the new, young girl sleeping wit
h the boss.”
He hadn’t said much during her story. She’d noticed a tick in his jaw a couple times, and it seemed his eyes had darkened once or twice. But she could be making up both of those things.
This was it. The only person she’d ever told the complete truth to. Not even Elle or Carissa knew about Connor.
“Who else knows about this?” he asked, as if reading her mind.
“No one.”
He whistled long and low. “That’s why you came back to Bayside. This is what you’ve been hiding all this time.”
She couldn’t meet his gaze.
“Riley,” he urged, scooting closer.
He was judging her. She knew it. She should have kept her big mouth shut, with him and with her friends. When would she learn that some secrets had to stay hidden forever?
“I shouldn’t have told you,” she whispered.
“What are you talking about? I’m glad you did.”
“I told you that you would think differently of me.”
He sat back, studied her. “You were right. I now realize how brave you are.”
Her head snapped up. “Wh-what?”
“I think you’re one of the bravest people I know. Look at what you went through all on your own. I don’t know how you dealt with all of that. You were so young.”
“I stayed in New York until I was twenty-six. I felt like I’d aged about twenty years in those four short years.”
She let out another long sigh. “Well, now you know everything. I don’t have any more secrets.”
His face fell, and it was as if an invisible wall went up between them.
“Sawyer?” she asked tentatively, already afraid she understood the hesitation. “What is it?”
He shifted, putting his wineglass on the end table. “It’s just that...”
She knew she should give him time. Sawyer was a methodical man. He was measuring the situation.
After a moment, he spoke. “I get it now. After everything you just told me about Connor, I understand.”
She had a sinking feeling. “Understand what exactly?”
“Why you don’t... Why you can’t be with me.”
His voice held so much sadness she wanted to weep.
“That’s just it,” she said quietly. “I shouldn’t want to be with you because I would be repeating the same mistake I made in the past.” And that hadn’t turned out so great. “But...” Now it was her turn to trail off.
Sawyer straightened. “But what?”
“But I want you anyway.”
She sealed her words by pressing her lips to his.
Chapter Ten
Sawyer felt blindsided by Riley’s kiss—but not so much that he couldn’t enjoy the feel of her lips against his. The heat of her body against his.
She’d revealed a big piece of her past tonight. His heart broke for that young girl who’d been so lonely and scared. Not to mention, how she’d been mistreated by her coworkers and by the man she loved.
The idea of Riley being in love with another man made him burn. Then again, the thought of any man mistreating her had his fingers curling into a fist.
“Relax,” she whispered against his lips.
“Sorry,” he murmured before moving his lips to travel along her jaw, down to her neck and back up. When he nipped her earlobe, she shuddered and pulled him closer.
“More,” she said, and he was only happy to oblige.
He paid special attention to one ear and then the other. Then he returned to her lips, kissing her softly, almost reverently. Her taste was so heady. It got to him in a way that nothing else ever had.
As the kiss deepened, her lips opened and he took that as invitation to push his tongue inside, gently touching hers.
As always, she smelled so good. Like fresh fruit in the middle of summer. Or maybe flowers. Hell, he didn’t know. He couldn’t think.
When she pulled back, he groaned. She smiled, her eyes sparkling. She had to know she was driving him crazy.
Riley reached down and curled her fingers around the bottom of his shirt, lifting it over his head and dropping it to the floor. Before he could respond in kind, she was running her hands over his chest. Her fingers circled his nipples and gently pulled at his chest hair. When she began the descent toward his pants, he knew he needed to slow things down a little or this would be a very short interlude between them.
So he went to work on her top. In true Riley fashion, she was wearing some kind of complicated, one-shoulder stretchy sexy blouse. Sighing, he tried to figure out how to remove it, but his efforts were useless. How the hell did this thing work? How had she even gotten it on?
Riley giggled. “It’s easy. See?” With one fast move, she pulled off her top and stood before him in a sexy strapless lace bra that displayed her breasts perfectly.
He unsnapped the front closure of her bra, her breasts spilling out. She reached for his hand, her own shaking. He knew the feeling. Sawyer couldn’t believe he was about to touch her so intimately.
She placed his hand on her breast and he was amazed at how perfect she felt. Like silk. As he ran his thumbs over her tight nipples, she sighed deeply and her head fell backward.
Sawyer leaned in and nipped at her bottom lip, then kissed her again, harder this time. He was so involved in kissing her he didn’t realize she’d unbuttoned his jeans.
“Aren’t we in a hurry?” he joked.
But the tender smile she gave him erased any joking.
“I think we’ve waited long enough for this,” she said.
He couldn’t agree more, and he shucked his jeans by kicking them off.
Riley wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him deeply, sighing as she did. His hands roamed over every inch of her.
Their kiss intensified by the second and so did his desire for her.
Then, she playfully snapped the waistband of his boxers. “Off,” she said.
“Yes, ma’am.” Sawyer stood quickly. But before he could shed the underwear he paused. It was a moment of realization. They’d seen each other in fancy clothes, bathing suits and even pajamas. But never before had they gone this far.
The metaphorical line between them was about to be erased. From friends to lovers.
He opened his mouth to say...he didn’t know what. But Riley stood up in the middle of the bed. Even towering over him, she was still so petite.
“I’ll go first.” With that, she hooked her thumbs under the thin straps of her panties and slowly pulled the flimsy silk down her legs.
With the panties dangling from one finger, she stood before him completely exposed, completely vulnerable. Yet, she seemed so confident, so sure.
As if honing in on his thoughts, she threw her panties at him. He caught them, running his fingers over the soft material while taking her in. She was so beautiful.
“Your turn,” she said.
His nerves were still there, but they were rapidly being drowned out by his libido. He yanked his boxers down to the floor and stepped out of them.
Then he met her gaze. There was heat in them so intense that the usual emerald color was a dark forest green.
She eyed him, taking her time running her gaze over every part of his body. It was erotic and made him even harder, a feat he would have thought impossible.
“Sawyer.” Her voice was raspy. “Come to me.”
He didn’t need more than that.
He joined her on the bed. Skin to skin.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
Complying, he trailed his fingers up her arms. She shivered. He continued by roaming over her shoulders and down her back until they rounded her bottom. He cupped it, bringing her even closer.
Her lips met his in a deep, wet kiss that knocked all sense from him. After a few minutes of exploring hands and the
intense kiss, they were both breathless. He ripped his lips from hers and moved them down her throat again. Her fingers were entwined in his hair, keeping his head close to her.
Gently he laid her down right in the middle of the large bed. Then he did something he’d wanted to do for a long time. He took one of her taut nipples into his mouth, sucking, tasting. She moaned and arched her back, bringing her breast even closer. After he lavished attention on that one, he moved on to the other. Then he ran his lips over her collarbone and up to her neck.
He ripped his lips from her throat. “Ri?”
“Yes?” Her voice was raspy and her lips were swollen. It was the sexiest vision he’d ever seen.
“Are you sure?”
* * *
Was he kidding?
They were in bed, naked, limbs intertwined. She was pretty damn sure.
At the same time, she knew that Sawyer was only asking for her. He wanted to make sure she was okay with this.
She lifted her hips, pressing them into his pelvis. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“You’re not nervous?” he asked.
That’s when she realized that he was nervous. “I feel like I should be.”
“But you’re not?”
She shook her head. “Nope.” To prove it, she pushed with all her might. Sawyer appeased her by rolling onto his back and taking her with him. She straddled him.
“I don’t know when this started,” she admitted.
“What?” he asked.
“This wanting you. I think I’ve been fighting it for a long time. Now that we’re here, together, like this, it just feels right.”
She placed her palms firmly on his strong chest and grinned.
“What’s that smile about?”
She ran her hands up and down his body. “For someone who spends most of his time behind a desk, nose buried in a newspaper, you are deceptively built, Sawyer Wallace.”
He offered her a look that was purely comical. Like he had no idea what she was talking about. It made her giggle.
“Now she’s laughing at me,” he said with a smile.
“Not for long.”
She kissed him again, feeling as though she could do this forever. She loved the feeling of his mouth against hers. Loved the way he took his time. Loved how he cupped her head, making her feel so secure. Loved...him?
Bayside's Most Unexpected Bride Page 11