by Hilary Wilde
A dam . .' she repeated slowly. Had Uncle Ned known ? she wondered. Was that why he wouldn't sell it ? But that didn't make sense, because he had told her in that secret letter that she could sell the farm, but not to Alex. Was it because he had found Alex trying to cheat him ?
Alex ? Cheating ? She found it hard to believe. Alex isn't like that . . .' she began.
That's what you think. How is it we're losing all our good labour ? I didn't tell you, but more and more of them are walking out on us, and do you know why ? '
Her mouth was dry. No.'
Because Alex is paying them more than you can afford,' Tim said, almost triumphantly. He's sabotaging you, Jon. He's just determined to make you sell out to him.'
That I never will ! '
He'll make you. He's utterly ruthless.' Tim stood up. Time for beddybyes.' He yawned and then looked down at her. Don't look so shocked. Alex is just a man. None of us are perfect.'
Lying in bed, Jon felt bewildered. Tim had seemed so sure that what he said was true. Some of it made sense. That could explain Uncle Ned's insistence that she must not sell to Alex. Yet how could she believe that Alex was planning to cheat her ? How could you
think that of the man you love ?
Jon was asleep when her mother came home and when she awoke it was pouring with rain, so there was no walk for the dogs. She stood with them on the stoep, looking at the rain as it pelted down from the grey cloud-massed sky, watching the water churn up the earth, drowning her precious seedlings, beating down the dahlias that were doing so well.
What happened to you, last night, darling ? ' her mother said, startling her.
Jon swung round. What d'you mean ? '
Her mother yawned. Alex saw you come into the restaurant and then you vanished. I thought you were going to the Oswalds. I'd told Alex so.'
' We were . . .' Jon was thinking quickly. What had Alex said ? We were late getting there and they'd left us a message that Mark had to go to Qwaleni on business and if we liked, join them at the Prince Inn.'
They were there. They joined the party.'
The . . . the party ? '
Her mother yawned again. It was great fun. Caroline and her husband, Madeleine and Alex, and we asked the Colonel, too. Alex wanted to ask you, but I knew you'd accepted the Oswalds' invitation, so I told him so.
Jon stared at her mother. What a stupid idiot she had been, she told herself. But was it true ? Or was her mother saying it to hide the fact that she had been alone with Alex ? But if she had, did it matter ? Why should her mother have to lie ? It could only be the truth.
Why didn't you come and join us when you saw us, Jon ? It was very rude. Alex seemed annoyed. What happened ? He said you nearly fell over and that it was a good thing Tim had his arm round you, and then you vanished.'
Jon drew a deep breath. I felt ill. Tim drives fast and the road was rough and . .
You poor darling. Where did you go ? '
' It seemed so hot and noisy, so Tim took me to the Karrafin. It's cool and quieter.'
' I know. I often dine there with . . . '
Tim came up the steps, looking miserable, rain trickling down his face as he pulled off his thin yellow mackintosh.
Hello. What a downpour ! What time did you folks get home ? '
We didn't leave until nearly one and by then the worst of the storm was over.' The little bell rang. ' Good, breakfast. I'm hungry for once ! '
Jon wasn't, but she managed to behave normally.
Halfway through the morning, Ursula was on the phone, talking, laughing, and Jon was alone on the stoep when she saw Alex, riding his big black horse. She stood up, meaning to escape, but he had seen her and lifted his hand in greeting.
He came up the steps, and she looked at him steadily. Was Tim right and could Alex be trying to cheat her ? Maybe if she could make herself believe it, then she could stop loving him.
He kicked off his muddy boots. How are you feeling ? ' he asked. Your mother phoned to explain your extraordinary behaviour last night,' he said coldly.
I thought I was getting the 'flu.'
I see. You're sure it wasn't because you preferred to be alone with your manager ? ' The hint of sarcasm in his voice as he said the last word angered Jon immediately.
We planned to meet the Oswalds there, but I felt ill. Tim thought it was too hot and noisy, so we ..
Went to the Karrafin. A charming romantic little place. I trust you enjoyed yourselves,' he said, his sarcasm even more obvious.
I . . . I felt ill,' she repeated.
Alex's rugged ugly-handsome face was grave. I suppose you do know what you're doing ? ' What I'm doing ? ' Jon was startled.
You know very well what I mean. You may be
naïve and young, but not as much as that The local gossips are having a wonderful time. You realize that you're never seen without your bachelor manager ? How long, they say, will he remain one ? '
One ?
Alex frowned. A bachelor.'
Suddenly she was angry again. Alex, I didn't think you listened to gossip. Or has Madeleine been talking ? That was what she said at the beginning. She told me I had asked for a bachelor as I needed a husband. Well, I didn't and I don't . . .' She had to stop speaking because she was breathless.
But does Tim know that ? He calls you darling, putting his arm round you, and I've seen him kissing you.'
Kissing me ? ' Jon began, then burst out laughing : Oh, that The plane startled me and I fell in his arms.'
How convenient for him—or should I say, for you ? ' Alex asked coldly.
Alex, don't be absurd. He was only joking.' Since when was kissing a form of joking ? It sounds very strange to me.'
Alex, you're so square. You should have lived in the Victorian age. What's a kiss ? '
He moved closer to her. If you don't know, it's time you did,' he said roughly, seizing her shoulders and jerking her towards him, leaning down and pressing his mouth hard against hers.
It was a kiss without love. A rough, cruel kiss, and yet . . . She jerked herself free.
If that's what you call a kiss, I think it's hateful ! ' she said wildly, turning to the house door and almost stumbling through, but Alex's hand caught and held her still while she kept her face turned away.
One other thing, little Jon,' he said angrily. Where the hell is your precious manager ? The irrigation ditch is flooding, which means one of the drains is blocked. It's his job to clear them, not mine, but if
he doesn't get cracking soon, there may be big trouble.'
He's . . . he's in the office,' Jon said, and his hand let go her arm. She shivered, missing the touch of his hot fingers, and then she was free, free to run to her bedroom, and to pass her mother who had just stopped phoning.
Jon darling, is something wrong ? ' she asked.
Just a headache,' Jon said, and escaped to her bedroom.
She stood very still after she had locked the door. She hadn't known what a real kiss was like before. But now she did
CHAPTER IX
Christmas came and Jon learned to laugh, to appear gay and hide the misery inside her. There were plenty of braaivleis and cocktail parties, and Tim insisted that she went to them all. He was always close by her side, his hand under her arm and always ready to take her home early if she asked him to.
Christmas Day came with the present-giving, and then a car came to fetch Jon's mother. Jon was rather surprised to see the elderly man with white hair, glasses and a friendly smile.
Jon dear, this is Colonel Harding,' Ursula said. ' He's teaching me bridge.'
' I have a good pupil,' he said with a smile.
A good pupil depends on a good teacher. Have a lovely time, Jon darling,' Ursula said with a farewell kiss.
Jon found herself enjoying Christmas Day, as it was hot and they all went to the Club to swim in the pool. The two men went off to find beers and Kirsty and Jon lay in the sunshine, each seeking a tan colour. Kirsty's eyes were half-closed as she smiled
at Jon.
' Are you serious about Tim ? ' she asked.
Jon was startled. Serious ? No . . . I mean, I'm fond of him, but . .
I think it's more than friendship on Tim's side,' Kirsty told her. Look, Jon, I like you, and though I'm fond of Tim, I'm not at all sure he's the right man for you. Please watch out. We hardly know him, really. Mark only met him just before Tim saw your advert. They had mutual friends in Canada, so we asked him to stay for the few days before he began working for you.'
Jon sat up and hugged her legs, her face worried. Kirsty, I hope you're wrong. I like Tim, but . .
' There's another man ? ' Kirsty's eyes were thought-
ful. I see. A hopeless love ? ' She paused while Jon nodded and then sighed : You poor child ! I went through all that when I was your age. It's part of growing up. I know it won't comfort you, but I can promise you that one day you will forget.'
I only wish I could think that,' Jon said earnestly. But, Kirsty, I'm worried about Tim. Have I let him think.. . ? '
' Tim doesn't wait to be allowed to think Just watch out, though, and don't fall for that little-boy-lost smile of his. Behind it lies a tough guy, selfish, ruthless . . She smiled at Jon's shocked face. ' He can't help it. He had a tough childhood. He's always had to fight for everything. I'm fond of him, but Jon, I wouldn't like to see you married to him.'
I've no intention . . .' Jon began, and stopped, her face red, as two men joined them.
No good intentions ? ' Mark teased as he lay down beside her. ' How different this is from an English Christmas, eh ? '
Very—very different,' Jon agreed, remembering the snow on the front at Bexhill, the waves coming racing in, roaring and splashing over the rail on to the pavement, their visit to church at midnight. But there had been another side to it, too, she reminded herself. Often they were asked out at Christmas, but preferred to stay home as her mother had a thing ' about being pitied. So they would watch television to lessen the quietness.
Very different, indeed,' Jon added.
Mark smiled, I hope this is nicer.'
It's much more fun seeing the kids having such a wonderful time in the pool. Certainly we know more people here. I can't imagine eating turkey and Christmas pudding with a temperature of nearly a hundred degrees Fahrenheit I'm used to a cold Christmas.'
You'll never go back to England ? ' Mark asked.
Jon shrugged. It depends on the farm.'
Tim smiled. You don't need to worry about that,
Jon. That's my headache. We're doing fine.' She smiled, ' I'm glad.'
As they drove home, Jon searched for the right words, but could not find them. How did you say : Look, I like you, but I can't marry you because I love someone else !
After all, Tim had never said he loved her, never talked of marriage. His ` darlings ' meant nothing—that was just Alex's old-fashioned notion. What should she do ? Was she unmeaningly encouraging him ? Yet what could she do about it ? Refuse to go out with him ? It wasn't as simple as that when Tim was living in the same house and working for her.
The Coxes, Madeleine's family, gave a New Year's Eve party. Everyone seemed to have been invited, but fortunately it was a beautiful night so they could sit outside on the lawn and stoep. Bright lights glowed, there were torches blazing to keep away the mosquitoes —and noise The four small boys were racing around, shouting, screaming, while many of the local people were swimming in the pool.
Once again Jon was sorry for Madeleine. It was funny, she thought, that it was only in Madeleine's own home that she could ever like her ! It was ` Madeleine, do this . . . " Madeleine, why haven't you done that?
' or even : ' Really, Madeleine, do you have to be so clumsy ? ' It must be an awful life, Jon thought sympathetically, as she watched poor Madeleine meekly doing what she was told, her eyes unhappy. Except when she danced with Alex, and then her face was radiant.
Was it the same with her ? Jon worried anxiously. She only danced once with Alex. It was a strange dance, silent, and he held her away at a slight distance as if he had no desire to touch her. Yet all the same, she was in his arms . . . A small consolation, though, for when the music ended, Alex merely escorted her back to her chair, murmured a formal ` thank you ' and walked off.
Jon's next partner was Madeleine's father and she
thought again how amazingly handsome he was.
If you do have to sell the farm,' he said casually, ' where would you go ? Back to England ? '
Jon looked up at him. I won't have to sell the farm.'
He smiled, a friendly smile. ' It's obvious you know very little about farming, my dear girl. There's always something—drought, hail, foot and mouth disease. There are thousands of hazards. Let's say, for the sake of argument, you had to sell.'
Well, I don't know. I've always wanted to see the world. I might go to Canada or . . . or Australia.'
` You've enterprise, my dear. I wish Madeleine had. Sometimes I wonder why she stays with us, because it's no life for a young person. It's high time she got married and settled down. I just can't understand my daughter—the way she chases poor Alex. Has she no pride ? I can't imagine you behaving like that.'
Jon blushed. It isn't easy to behave sensibly when you're in love.'
Love ! ' Madeleine's father grunted as he made a neat turn. He was an excellent dancer, Jon thought. Love ! ' he repeated. That girl doesn't know what the word means.'
She loves her brothers,' Jon said quietly, and you.'
Think so ? Sometimes I wonder. Caroline and I'd be much happier on our own, but you can't push your own daughter out when she doesn't want to go. Times I've offered to pay her return fare to go to London for a few months, but no, she can't leave her precious Alex. Personally I don't think she loves him—not one bit. What she wants is a wealthy husband. Alex is the wealthiest of us all. Did you know that ? '
The music stopped, Jon smoothed down the slightly creased skirt of her pale yellow silk frock. No, I didn't.'
He keeps it quiet, but it's true. One of these days that man'll be a millionaire. You mark my words.' There was a sudden quietness as the dancers dispersed
to their seats and a clear voice broke the stillness. ' Alex, my darling ! '
The words carried clearly and every head turned, including Jon's. In the doorway that led to the wide patio, a tall slim woman stood—pitch-black hair piled high on her head, what looked like a chain of diamonds twisted round it, sparkling in the light. She wore a long narrow scarlet sleeveless dress, reaching to the ground but slit at the sides so that as she moved forward, her long beautiful legs could be seen plainly. Her hands outstretched, she went straight to Alex.
' Darling . . . darling Alex ' she said loudly. She put her arms round his neck, rose on tiptoe and kissed him lovingly. It's been so long, love,' she went on as the startled silence continued.
Too long ? ' Alex was asking, deftly unfolding her clinging arms. Whose fault was that ? '
Jon turned her head and saw that Caroline, Madeleine's stepmother, was by her side. Who's that ? ' Jon whispered.
Just another scalp our wonderful Alex has to dangle from his belt,' Caroline said, her face and voice bitter. She's Antonia Herd, the film star. She's supposed to have broken her heart because Alex refused to leave his beloved sanctuary and follow her round the world. Of course, she couldn't give up her career.' Caroline turned away. ' It makes me sick, the way he gets away with it !
Away with what ? ' Jon asked.
Caroline turned to look at her. You should know. You're crazy about him, aren't you ? ' Her smile was malicious and Jon shuddered. Not that I should blame you,' Caroline added bitterly. ' We're all in the same boat.'
You . . .' Jon began, startled.
Caroline laughed. I don't, but I did. Ten years ago before I met Samuel, I fell hook, line and sinker for Alex. I could have married him, but thank God I didn't.'
' Why thank God ? ' Jon asked.
Caroline's smile was bitter. ' Because I'd have had to ta
ke third place in his life. Alex has two loves : himself and his sanctuary. Nothing matters but his work. I prefer to become first in my husband's life. Alex is everything I hate and yet I love . . . loved him. He's a perfectionist, but what right has he to talk ? He wasn't all that good when he was young. He sowed his wild oats all right. Besides, he's a hypocrite. He's always talking about preserving wild life and that sort of hogwash, while the truth is he used to murder animals for money.'
' Murder animals for money ? ' Jon repeated. Was Caroline drunk ? she began to wonder.
' And how ! He's all for the R.S.P.C.A., but at one time he was a white game hunter. He'd take wealthy Americans out and encourage them to shoot helpless animals who've never hurt anyone. He must have made a pile of money out of killing them, and if that isn't bestial cruelty, what is ? He's ruthless and cruel. The absolute egoist ! ' Caroline paused for breath and perhaps saw the shocked look on Jon's face, for she laughed, ' Sorry, Jon, for blowing my top, but he makes me so mad. Now I'd better go and do the hostess act. My darling husband who puts me first in his life does like me to do my duty.'
Jon was hardly alone for a moment when Tim joined her.
' Well, have you seen Alex's latest bird ? ' Tim asked as he swept Jon on to the floor as the music started. ' Quite an eyeful. It looks as if he finds her a pleasant armful, too,' he added as they danced by Alex, who was dancing with Antonia Herd, he smiling down at her and she gazing adoringly at him.
That inscrutable smile of Alex's, Jon thought, that told you nothing. You never knew if it was a smile of amusement, contempt, sarcasm, or affection. The most hateful smile, that promised everything, and gave you nothing.
' I'm . . . It's terribly hot in here. Could we sit in the garden ? '
He smiled and danced her off the floor. Nothing I'd like more, darling.'
It was just bad luck that they stood still by Alex's side. He smiled at them.
Jon, I want you to meet . . .' he turned to the beautiful girl by his side, Antonia, I'd like you to meet Jon Hampton. You've heard me talk of Uncle Ned ? '