His gaze softened. “I know it’s hard on you, Brianna, moving to a new place, trying to raise that little boy on your own. There are a lot of people in this town you can be friends with—perhaps Jason shouldn’t be one of them.” He paused. “Now, I’d better go see what Lucas is up to. Oh, and we’re going to the chili cook-off tonight if you and Lucas want to come with us.”
“I’ll think about it.” Jason might be there, and she wasn’t up to another scene, especially in front of the entire town. She needed to take a step back, consider her options.
When she was with Jason—when he smiled at her, when he kissed her—it was easy to forget all the reasons why they couldn’t be friends or more. But when she was with the Kanes, she was reminded of how much they had gone through together, how Rick and Nancy had supported her through some very dark days. They were her family. They loved her, and there weren’t many people who did. How could she choose Jason over them? She shouldn’t even be thinking about making such a choice, but she was, and that scared her the most.
Her husband was avoiding her, Kara thought with a sigh. She’d once known Colin inside and out, but ever since he’d awoken from his coma, he’d changed. He was no longer the happy, gregarious, adoring Irishman who couldn’t keep his hands off her. Now he was impatient, short-tempered, and distant. As soon as they’d arrived at the church auditorium for the chili cook-off, he’d disappeared, making some excuse about helping his cop buddies set up their stations. But the truth was that he just wanted to get away from her.
He’d even slept on the couch the last few nights, claiming he was restless and didn’t want to wake her up. Colin, who once couldn’t sleep without touching her, now wanted to be in another room. He could barely bring himself to give her a quick peck on the lips, and he only held the baby when he had no other choice. She didn’t know if he was afraid or if something had turned off in his brain.
What if he didn’t want her anymore? How could she live without him? He’d been her whole life since she was a child.
A wave of panic ran through her, and her daughter began to fuss in her arms, obviously sensing her mother’s distress. “It’s okay,” Kara crooned. “Everything will be fine. I didn’t come this far to give up on him now. I hope he’s not giving up on me, either.”
Faith blinked a few times and then drifted back to sleep, reassured that all was well with her world.
“What a little angel,” Charlotte commented as she joined Kara at the back of the room. “I bet she doesn’t look this sweet at two o’clock in the morning, though.”
“Actually, she does. I spend a lot of time just staring at her. I never imagined I’d feel so close to another human being. I thought it would be like loving Colin, but it’s even deeper than that.”
Charlotte gave her a soft smile. “You sound like a new mother.”
“I know,” Kara said with a helpless smile. “I’m totally in love with her.”
“Where’s the new daddy?”
“Over there talking to Joe and Warren.” She tipped her head toward the far side of the room. “They’re hoping to beat the fire department this year. I guess the chief put in an entry.”
Charlotte flushed a little. “Yeah, he did.”
Kara gave her a curious look. “Did you have something to do with that?”
“We were short on cops since Colin bowed out this year.”
Another example of how Colin had changed. There had been a time when he would have died before giving up his spot in the chili cook-off. He’d always taken pride in his chili, even when it wasn’t all that good. But this year, he’d begged off early. She’d offered to do all the chopping and prep work, but he’d insisted that he wasn’t up to it.
“Colin is not himself,” she said.
“I hope you don’t think I was complaining,” Charlotte said quickly. “No one expected Colin to enter, after everything the two of you have gone through. The last thing you need to worry about is the chili cook-off.”
“It might have been good for him. He stresses over not being able to do his normal activities, yet sometimes when he has the opportunity, he ignores it. I don’t get it.”
Charlotte put her arm around her shoulders for a quick hug. “Things are rough, huh?”
“I’m that transparent?”
“Your brave soldier face is beginning to crack. What’s going on?”
Kara lowered her voice so they wouldn’t be overheard. “You know how you told me I could have sex anytime now? Well, Colin wasn’t as excited about the idea as I was. He hasn’t come near me since.”
“That’s not uncommon. You just had his baby. You’re breastfeeding. Some men feel a little jealous of the baby, and they have trouble adapting to their wives being mothers. Those breasts used to be his territory, and where you and Colin are concerned, only his territory. You’ve never slept with anyone else, and vice versa, right?”
“And what if that’s what’s bothering him? What if he looked his mortality in the eye and wondered what the hell he was thinking only having sex with one woman in his lifetime?”
“Wow, you are flipping out, Kara,” Charlotte said, shaking her head in amazement. “I’m sure that’s not what he’s thinking.”
“I am going a little crazy,” she admitted. “Colin won’t talk to me. He won’t touch me. And it’s not like I’m dying to have sex, it’s just that I—I miss him. I miss us. I miss the way things were. I thought everything would be the same when he woke up.”
Charlotte gave her another hug. “You’ll work things out. You and Colin are a matched set; there’s no breaking you up. Just give him some time. Colin loves you more than anyone in this world, and I know you feel the same. Frankly, the two of you have set a really high standard for the rest of us. I can’t imagine having what you have. You’re so connected, so honest with each other.”
“We used to be. But we’ll get it back,” Kara said with renewed determination.
“Of course you will. Shall we try out some chili? I’m starving.”
“Sounds good.” Kara put Faith in her stroller, and they made their way down the aisles, debating which chili looked the most interesting.
Their progress was slow, as they were constantly stopped by friends and neighbors eager to see the baby and to say hello. Despite Charlotte’s declaration of hunger, she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to sample chili, instead leading the way toward Colin and Joe.
“I know what you’re doing,” Kara told her. “But you can’t matchmake when I’m already married to the guy.” She stopped to let some people go in front of them. She wasn’t ready for everyone to see how disconnected she and Colin were.
“Maybe this isn’t about you,” Charlotte said with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.
For a moment, Kara was confused, then she realized the focus of Charlotte’s attention. “Oh, Charlie, not Joe! He’s married.”
“I know that. We’re just friends.”
“Are you?” she asked worriedly.
“Yes, we are,” Charlotte said, but she didn’t quite look Kara in the eye.
“Joe and Rachel have been having problems, but do you really want to get in the middle of a marriage?”
“I’m not in the middle. I just enjoy his company.”
“And he’s hot.”
“Well, there is that,” Charlotte conceded with a laugh. “Relax, Kara, I’m not breaking any rules.”
“I’m more concerned about your heart. You like to keep things light and casual, but you’re more vulnerable than you let on. If you want to get involved with someone, why not Andrew? He’s just as good-looking and has a lot less baggage.”
“Not where I’m concerned. Our history follows us around—not to mention all the other single women in town. Look at him now. He’s surrounded.”
Andrew was in the middle of a group of women ranging from their twenties to their late fifties. “He does have a lot of groupies,” Kara admitted. “Chicks and cougars.”
“He has that holy chari
sma thing going. It’s very powerful. My father had women lusting after him, too, but my mother always ran them off.”
“You could do the same for Andrew. He likes you. Did you ever find out why he canceled dinner?”
“No, he made some vague excuse about something coming up, and he hasn’t asked me out again. Typical man. As soon as they hook you, they don’t want you anymore.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Kara said.
“Well, it’s just as well. I’m happy being single. So stop stalling. Let’s go see what the guys are up to.”
The guys were eating chili and talking about basketball. Colin gave Kara a smile, and she felt some of her tension dissipate. He looked like the old Colin. He’d just needed to get out of the house and be around people.
“Hey, Charlotte,” Colin said. “Try some of that chili over there. You’re going to love it.”
Kara wondered about the smile Joe and Colin exchanged—obviously, something was up. Joe ladled some chili into two small bowls, handing one to her and the other to Charlotte.
“Uh, Kara, hang on,” Colin said.
But he was too late. The fiery burn was already sweeping down her throat. Colin handed her his bottle of water, and she took a long gulp. “Oh, my God,” she said when she could talk again. “That’s so hot.”
“It can’t be that hot,” Charlotte said.
“Try it, then,” Kara suggested.
“Yeah, try it,” Joe echoed.
Charlotte took a much smaller bite than Kara, grimacing as she swallowed. “That’s awful. How did that happen? I barely put any pepper in.”
“You made this chili, Charlotte?” Kara asked.
“I helped Joe, but he did most of it,” Charlotte declared, flushing a little under the scrutiny.
Kara turned to Joe. “You let her cook? Do you have a death wish? Everyone knows Charlotte can’t cook.”
“I told him that,” Charlotte said.
Joe’s eyes sparkled as he looked at Charlotte. “I thought you were being modest.”
“I’m never modest.”
“What got into you, Charlotte?” Colin asked. “I’ve never known you to pick up a knife unless you were cutting someone open.”
“I was trying to be helpful,” Charlotte repeated. “Didn’t you taste this before you brought it here, Joe?”
“No. I had it in the refrigerator all night. I just heated it up when I got here. But don’t worry; I haven’t let anyone else get close to it. I was just about to take it away when Colin thought it might be fun to let you try it.”
“Nice,” Kara said, giving her husband a playful slap on the arm.
Colin laughed. “I tried to warn you, but you jumped in too fast.”
Joe grabbed the pot. “I’ll take this out to the car,”
“Good idea,” Charlotte said. “I’ll bring the rest of this stuff.” She picked up the condiment bowls and followed Joe out of the auditorium.
When they were gone, Kara turned to Colin, happy to see the smile on his face. She almost asked him how he was doing, if he was tired and needed to go home, but stopped herself. He was frustrated with her constantly watching over him. He was an adult; he could decide when he’d had enough. “I think Charlotte has a crush on Joe,” she said.
Colin’s eyes widened. “No way. She wouldn’t get involved with a married man.”
“I didn’t say they were involved, but there are definitely sparks between those two. Didn’t you see the way they looked at each other?”
“I was too busy looking at you.” He moved in closer, his arm tightening around her waist. “I’m sorry, Kara.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she began, but he cut her off with a shake of his head.
“I do. You’ve been incredible the last few weeks, and I’ve been an ass. Will you let me make it up to you?”
Her eyes blurred with tears as she looked into Colin’s eyes and saw him really present for the first time. “There’s nothing to make up. I love you, even when you’re an ass.”
“I love you back.” He gazed at her with the tender smile she’d always adored. “I’ve been in a weird space, like when you take a nap and wake up disoriented and you don’t know what time it is or even if you were really asleep. That’s how I’ve felt almost every day. I haven’t handled it very well.”
“I’m glad you told me.” She put her hand against his solid chest, then stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lovingly on the lips.
“I can’t believe Jason was right,” Colin said.
“About what?”
“He said if I told you how I felt, you’d get all hot for me. I didn’t think it was that easy.”
She smiled. “Where you’re concerned, I’ve always been easy. You know that.”
“I wanted to tell you how I felt for a while. But I couldn’t quite put it into words,” he said on a more serious note. “I knew I was pissing you off, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was a little easier to breathe when you weren’t around. You always had your eyes on me. You caught every little screwup. I couldn’t get anything past you. I felt a little ashamed.”
His words stung a bit, but she appreciated the honesty. “I spent three months watching you sleep, Colin—waiting for some flicker of your eyelid, some twitch of your fingers, something that would tell me you were still there. I guess I watch you now because I’m afraid you’ll slip away from me when I’m not looking. I’ll try to back off.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Kara. I’m healing. I’m not leaving you.” He kissed her again. “Want to go home and make out?”
She laughed at the familiar question. Ever since they were thirteen, he’d been asking her to go somewhere and make out. “Absolutely.”
Before they could move, Jason came up to them. He looked tired, and there was a hard note in his eyes, an irritated set to his jaw.
“Hey,” he said shortly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing. I’m just hungry. Any chili recommendations?”
“The only one I tasted was really bad,” Kara said. “What about you, Colin?”
“Warren’s is good, but Dan McCarthy has a line out the door, so I think there’s a good chance the fire boys are going to whip our butts this year.”
Jason nodded, but he seemed distracted.
“Have you talked to Brianna again?” Kara asked, sure that this mood had something to do with Derek’s widow.
“I saw her last night. Is she here?”
“I don’t think so,” Kara replied.
“What happened last night?” Colin asked.
Jason didn’t answer, his gaze on someone approaching. Kara turned around and saw Nancy Kane heading toward them like a woman with a mission, which was surprising, since the Kanes had avoided Jason for the past five years.
“I have just one thing to say to you, Jason,” Nancy said abruptly. She didn’t seem to be aware that anyone else was there. “Brianna and Lucas are all I have left of the child you took from me.” Her voice shook with rage. “I treated you like my own son, and you turned on Derek. Now, you stay away from them. Do you hear me? You stay away.”
Jason turned pale as she left. The people around them had gone silent during the brief confrontation. Kara exchanged a quick glance with Colin and saw the concern in his eyes.
Colin turned to the crowd. “So who has a chili recommendation for me?” he asked, drawing the attention away from Jason. That was Colin, always the protector.
Kara put her hand on Jason’s arm as the quiet broke. “What the heck did you do?”
“I had dinner with Brianna and Lucas,” he said tightly. “Nancy walked in on us.”
“You need to leave Brianna alone.” Too many people could get hurt, including him.
“I’m trying,” he said.
“Try harder.”
“Sorry I ruined your chili,” Charlotte told Joe as he stuck the pot in the trunk of his car. “You must have distracted me.”
“At least we
didn’t poison anyone. That wouldn’t have sat well with your mother.”
She laughed. “True, but she’d blame it on me, not you. She has a weakness for good-looking men who stand up for truth and justice.”
“I need to get to know your mother a little better. You have me intrigued.”
“She’d be perfectly lovely to you. It’s just me she doesn’t get along with. We’re very different, and we’ve never understood each other. I don’t think we ever will. Are you going back inside?”
“No. My mouth is still burning.”
“Mine, too. We could go for ice cream.” She saw the hesitation in his eyes and realized she’d overstepped. “But I should probably stay here and help tabulate the votes.”
“It’s just that it’s a small town, Charlotte.”
“I know. It was a dumb idea.” She drew in a breath. “I think I’ll take a little walk before I go back inside. I’ve always loved the church grounds at night. I used to climb out my bedroom window after my parents went to sleep and come over here.”
“To fool around with Andrew?”
She smiled. “On a few occasions, but mostly I just wandered. I could be myself in the dark shadows. I was out from under my mother’s watchful eye, so I was free.”
“Show me where you used to go,” he suggested.
If going out for ice cream in a public place was a bad idea, then wandering around the church grounds in the dark was even worse. But she nodded and led the way through the trees. They walked in silence. Joe wasn’t much of a talker unless he had something to say, and she kind of liked that.
She paused under a tree with sprawling branches that provided a thick, protective canopy over the grass. “This was my favorite tree for climbing. I was quite the tomboy. I once made it all the way to the top.”
“You like high places, don’t you? That’s why I always see you running or biking up the hills around town.”
“I guess I do.” She was a little surprised that he’d noticed that about her. “There’s something about a view that opens up the world to me. Another favorite spot of mine is the bell tower. Want to see?”
“Sure.”
She headed back toward the empty church, taking him in through the side door, then led him up a narrow, winding staircase to the top of the tower. The old bell had been removed years ago, but the open windows provided a great view.
In Shelter Cove Page 16