Shaking her head, her lids lowered as she bit her lip for a moment before speaking. “How can us even exist? There was one night. One amazing night, but it was built on lies.”
He started forward again, but halted when she held out her hand. With a deep breath, she turned to face him. “You don’t understand how deeply you hurt me. You can’t imagine what it cost me to come to you that night. I kept avoiding you because you had everything I always thought I was looking for and I was terrified if I let my guard down, I would want too much. I would love too much.”
Breath caught in Colin’s throat. “Darcy—”
“No.” She shifted, backing up a step as if she feared he’d reach for her. “Whatever I felt wasn’t real because I developed feelings for a man who doesn’t exist.”
Swallowing hard, damning any risk he was about to take, he closed the distance between them and gripped her arms. She fell against his chest, her mouth opening in a gasp.
“Does this feel fake to you?” he demanded, holding on to her a little too tightly. “Every time I kissed you, touched you, did all of that feel like a lie?”
Her intense gaze held his as he continued to loom over her. She’d cracked open something deep within him, something he hadn’t even known he was holding back. His heart was wide open for her and she just needed to walk through. Damn it, he needed her to.
“You were so brave, calling me, wanting to come to me.” He softened his voice. “You realized what we had was worth putting yourself out there for and you were ready to take a chance. Don’t back away now, Darcy. Don’t make judgment calls until you really see the big picture.”
With the way he stood over her, her body arched against his, Colin couldn’t avoid temptation another second. Nipping his lips against hers, testing to see if she’d let him continue, he nearly wept with relief when she didn’t pull away.
As he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her hips flush against his own, he covered her mouth completely and deepened the kiss. Darcy’s hands remained at her sides, though her mouth opened, inviting him in. For a split second, she froze, as if her mind were starting to override her emotions.
“No,” he murmured against her lips. “Don’t think. Feel. I never lied about how I feel and you know that. Everything we shared with our bodies was real. Everything I ever told you about how I felt was real.”
With her eyes closed, she licked her swollen lips. “I can’t do this, Colin. I’m here for Iris.”
“Well I’m here for you,” he whispered.
Not giving her another chance to speak, he claimed her mouth once again and ran his hands around to the front of her dress. He gave each side of the material a yank to expose her lace-covered breasts. On a gasp, Darcy tore her mouth from his and he feared he’d gone too far, but she tipped her head back and groaned. Colin stole the chance to trail a path of kisses down her silky skin until he reached the edge of the lace bra.
Darcy’s hands fisted in his hair as he turned and backed her up against the smooth stone next to the patio doors. The last thing he wanted was to stay close to the rail and have one of the guards look up. Darcy was his and sharing even a glimpse of her was not an option.
Colin reached down, bunched up the bottom of her dress and slid his hand over her heated center. She adjusted her stance as he tore away her lacy panties and he had no doubt they matched the bra he was about to remove.
With a flick of his fingers, the front closure sprang open. Colin feasted on her while his hand continued to pleasure her. Her heavy panting quickened as her body arched against the stone. This is how he wanted Darcy, delirious with passion, aching with a need only he could provide because he was the only man for her.
“I pictured this the moment I saw the dress,” he murmured against her heated skin. “It was made for you, made to drive me insane with wanting you.”
Her hands went from his hair to his shoulders. Fingertips dug into him, but he continued, ready to feel her release, to watch her come apart in his arms.
As her hips bucked against him, Colin lifted his head to see her face. When he glanced up, her eyes were on him. The intensity of her gaze flooded him with a hope he wasn’t sure she even knew she was offering.
Within seconds she was flying apart, calling his name. Colin gritted his teeth, concentrating on making this moment all about Darcy, no matter the cost.
As her trembling ceased, Colin slid his lips against hers. “You’re mine for the ball tomorrow.”
When she started to speak, Colin laid a finger against her lips. His other hand smoothed down her skirt as he kept his eyes on hers.
“Whatever you may think of me, know that I want you and I don’t just mean physically. Yes, I lied. I did it to protect Iris because in the beginning she was all that mattered. But now you matter, too, more than you could ever know, and I’m giving you the chance to see everything about me without any guard on my heart. I want you to take it all in before you decide anything.”
With shaky hands, she refastened her bra, pulled her dress back into place. “What about...you’re not leaving now, are you?”
He smiled. “You mean why aren’t we having sex? Is that what you want right now, Darcy?”
Her eyes held so much heat, so much desire. “I don’t know what I want,” she whispered. “I thought I did.”
As much as it cost him, he took a step back. “I’m not staying and I’m not making love with you. Tonight was all about you. I wanted you in that blue dress because I knew you’d feel beautiful. I wanted you out here on the balcony for dinner because I know you normally eat fast to get back to taking care of children. And I wanted you to come apart in my arms without giving anything in return to me. From here on out, everything in my life will be centered around my daughter and you. Take all the time you need to think about what that means because I’m not going anywhere.”
Her chin quivered. If she started crying, he’d have to hold her and he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to wrap his arms around her and not take more than she was ready for at this point. Never in his life had he been this scared of losing it all. Even when he’d battled with his duties or being confined to a wheelchair, nothing had put fear in him as much as the thought of losing Darcy.
“Not all guys take everything, Darcy. Don’t compare me with the jerk who shattered your dreams.” He started toward the open French doors, but stopped at the threshold to look back at her. “I may just be the guy who can make your dreams come true if you’d take the time to look beyond the anger.”
Oh, how he hoped she would do just that. Living without Darcy was simply a life that was unthinkable.
Sixteen
Colin swirled the amber liquid around in his glass, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. He hadn’t heard a word from Darcy since leaving her room last night. The ball was in a few hours and he honestly had no idea if she was going to be there with him or not.
But right now he couldn’t care less about the ball. He wanted to know where he stood with Darcy. He’d bared his soul to her, he’d passed all power over to her and now he had to wait. This was not how he lived his life...ever. Power and control were staples in his life, ingrained in him at a young age. But Darcy was worth giving all of that up for. She was worth every sacrifice.
“You’re going to drive yourself mad and drinking won’t help.”
Colin didn’t turn at the sound of his brother’s useless advice. “If I want to drink, I will.”
Standing on the balcony off his suite, Colin wasn’t calmed by the water rushing the shore. For the first time in his life, he was consumed by emotions he had no control over: fear, frustration, worry.
“Luc just arrived.” Stefan’s shoes scuffed over the tile as he leaned against the rail beside Colin. “I told him you’d be down shortly.”
Colin wanted to see his best friend, especially since he hadn’t met Luc’s fiancée yet. But he had to get his head on straight first. He couldn’t go down to the ball with this much emotional baggage. Even if the media had not been permitted inside, he didn’t want fellow dignitaries to see him so vulnerable.
“What have you decided?” Stefan asked.
Tilting back his glass, Colin welcomed the burn of the whiskey. “I haven’t decided anything.”
“Because of Darcy?”
Colin shifted, leaning one elbow on the rail as he stared at his brother. “You were a mess on your coronation day, if I recall. I know I was fresh from the hospital and in a wheelchair, but I remember how you were torn up over Victoria leaving you.”
Stefan nodded. “She was my wife.”
“Only because you needed her to be,” Colin corrected. “You married her for one reason and fell in love with her later. It’s no different with Darcy and me. She started out as Iris’s nanny, but...”
Stefan’s eyes widened. “Are you saying you’re in love with her?”
Colin swallowed, afraid to say the words aloud. He merely nodded because the first time he admitted the truth verbally, it would be to Darcy, not his brother.
“And you’re waiting to see what happens with you two before deciding whether to keep your title or not?”
Colin glanced out to the ocean, contemplating his next decision because no matter what he chose, the outcome would be life-altering.
“I’ll remain on Galini Isle if Darcy stays with me.” Colin pushed off the rail, began to pace in an attempt to release some tension. “I can’t do this alone, Stefan. Raising Iris, helping you reign over this country. I won’t leave Iris to be raised by staff, not when I have a woman I can’t live without, and Iris loves her. I’ve realized that Iris is happy here or in LA but she is really attached to Darcy. And so am I.”
Stefan smiled. “Then maybe you should tell her how you feel. I’m not the one you need to be selling this to.”
Colin stopped in front of his brother. “You think she’s a good fit for me?”
“I think Victoria is crazy about her and it’s obvious Iris is, too.” Stefan slapped a hand on Colin’s shoulder. “And I’ve never seen you this torn up over a woman. I’ve also seen you face cliffs that would make even the most experienced climber cringe. Even after your accident you wanted to get back out there. You were angry the doctors wouldn’t allow it. So the fact this woman has you in knots, yeah, I think she’s a perfect fit.”
“Then I need your help.”
Colin laid out his plan, ready to fight for the woman he loved...the woman who completed his family.
* * *
The risk he was taking was huge, but the payoff would be substantial if every part of his plan fell into place.
Victoria had delivered Colin’s message to Darcy that he wanted to meet her in the south hall, just outside the private entrance into the ballroom. Now he paced as Iris sat on the gleaming marble floor, playing with the simple doll Darcy had given her that first day.
He’d battled over whether or not to have Iris present for this moment; he didn’t want Darcy to think he was using his child. But he needed Iris here because they were a package deal, they were a family.
The soft click of heels echoed behind him. Colin took in a deep breath, willed himself to be strong and prepared to fight for what he wanted.
“Deedee pitty!” Iris exclaimed before she jumped to her feet.
“You are beautiful.” Darcy’s upbeat voice gave him hope that she wasn’t miserable, that she wasn’t dreading tonight. “Your gold gown is so pretty, Iris. What a big girl you are tonight.”
Pulling up a courage he’d never had to use before, Colin turned and was nearly brought to his knees. Darcy stared across the open space. She wore the gown he’d asked his sister-in-law to make, she’d pulled her hair back into something sleek and fit for a princess and she wore the diamond earrings that had been his mother’s. Obviously Victoria had delivered those along with his message, but Colin hadn’t expected her to wear them, though he was so glad she had.
Yet, as breathtaking as Darcy was right at this moment, it was the sight of her holding Iris’s hand that stole his breath away. The two most important women in his life stared back at him, waiting for him to say something, but he was utterly speechless.
“Thank you for the dress.” Darcy took a step forward, and Iris, still holding onto her hand moved with her. “I’ve never felt so...I don’t know what the word is.”
“Breathtaking,” he murmured. “You’re positively breathtaking.”
Her eyes widened. “I could say the same for you. I’ve never seen you in something so formal.”
The standard royal uniform of a black double-breasted jacket with gold buttons, his medals for various works and services and his signature blue sash meant nothing to him. His entire life on Galini Isle meant nothing without this woman by his side.
“Are you ready to go in?” she asked, smoothing her hand down her gown as if nerves were getting to her, too.
“Not just yet. I wanted a minute alone with you before we go inside.”
Darcy glanced down at Iris before meeting his gaze again. “I actually wanted to talk to you, too.”
No. He refused to hear her say she couldn’t do this anymore. He needed to tell her everything he’d planned before she made any decisions.
“Let me start,” he told her.
“Me, me, me.” Iris let go of Darcy’s hand and extended both arms up. “Deedee hold me.”
Laughing, Darcy swung Iris up into her arms. Colin wanted to capture this mental picture of Darcy in that pale blue gown and Darcy in her gold dress with matching gold headband, both of them laughing and smiling at each other. The bond those two had formed had been instant.
Colin zeroed in on the doll Iris clutched. He’d frowned upon it at first, but realized now how much it represented. Life could be simple, he could still have a normal existence, as long as Darcy shared it with him. Every relationship took work and he was ready to put forth every effort to make sure Darcy was in his life and happier than she’d ever been...if she would have him.
“Colin.” Her eyes held his as she stepped forward. “What did you want to say?”
“I love you.”
Darcy jerked, her gasp audible in the nearly empty hall.
He cursed beneath his breath. “That’s not how I wanted to tell you. I wanted to lead into it by telling you how you’ve changed my life, how you’ve brought out something in me I thought was dead.”
Colin closed the last bit of space between them, placing a hand on her arm and another on Iris’s back. “I wanted to tell you how being without you all day has nearly killed me and how going to sleep at night without hearing your voice has left me feeling empty. I needed you to know how much you mean to me, how much you mean to Iris before I told you how deeply I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Unshed tears swam in Darcy’s eyes. “You’re going to make me ruin my makeup.”
He gently swiped the moisture just beneath her lashes. “I want to be the man who ruins your makeup for all the right reasons. I want to bring tears of joy to your life, I want to lie by your side every night, knowing you’re happy and that I’ve done everything in my power to give you all the love you deserve, all the happiness you can handle.”
Darcy bit her lip and lowered her lids as Iris laid her head on Darcy’s shoulder and cu
ddled in closer.
“I can’t give you any more children,” she whispered. “I know you’ll want more heirs.”
He shut her up with a soft kiss to her lips. “The only thing I want is you and Iris. You both will complete my family.”
She glanced up at him, one tear trickling down her cheek. Colin swiped it away with the pad of his thumb and cupped the side of her face.
“We can adopt, too.” He watched as her eyes widened, her breath hitched. “I’ll adopt as many babies or children or teenagers as you want. I’m not above giving children a home. I love that you have such a strong will to help others and I know you’ll make an amazing princess of Galini Isle.”
“Colin,” she whispered on a gasp. “What—”
“I want you to marry me.”
Darcy wrapped her other arm around Iris and continued to hold his stare. Iris’s eyes were slowly drifting closed, as this was her bedtime, but between the ball and Colin wanting her to be part of this monumental moment, he couldn’t just leave her to sleep in her room.
“Have you thought about this?” she asked. “Have you thought about what having someone like me will do to the media you tried so hard to dodge so you could find the life you wanted?”
“I found the life I wanted,” he told her, stroking her damp cheek. “I found you. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for, Darcy. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to figure things out, but you kept working your way deeper into my heart and I can’t be without you now. No matter where we live, I want to be with you. Facing this country, standing by my brother’s side is what I’m supposed to do. I just don’t want to do it without you.”
“I have a life in America, Colin. I have a business I’m trying to save because of a promise I made to my grandmother. I can’t ignore who I am, I can’t lose my identity.”
Colin nodded. “I understand. You will restore Loving Hands to its former glory. I don’t want you to lose your identity, either, because it’s what made me fall in love with you to begin with. See what staff you can hire back and have someone manage the office while we are here. So much can be done online, but I’m assuming you have someone you’d trust to run the office?”
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