Oh. Yeah. That.
He groaned and she could feel him hardening under her. She reached down and worked the button and zipper on his jeans, kissing his neck as she went. He tasted so good, felt so good, and it had been so long—
He grabbed her hand just as she freed him and placed his other hand on her face, gently moving her back until she looked at him.
“I love you,” he said.
“Oh, yeah, I know,” she said, leaning in for another kiss as she shimmied out of her underwear. He nipped his way down from her lips to her neck, his breath falling over her in warm, heavenly waves as he tucked one finger in the V-neck of her sweater and yanked it down so he could get to that spot between her breasts.
Oh. Man.
And then he pushed her back, just a bit, just enough to make her want to kill him.
“What?” she said.
He reached up and ran a hand through her hair. “I just want to look at you for a second.”
She smiled down at him, turned her head to kiss the palm of his hand. Slowly, she started moving against him, and his hand tightened, gripping her hair.
“Enough looking,” she whispered.
He smiled, reached his hand up under her sweater, and undid her front clasp of her bra in one swift movement.
That’s what I want, she thought. That’s exactly . . .
He freed her right breast as he moved his hand over it, his thumb and forefinger working together over her...
“Wow,” she said. “You’ve gotten better at this.”
He let his hand slide downward over her abdomen. “I was nineteen the last time we did this. If I haven’t gotten better, for God’s sake, don’t tell me.”
She arched backward as his fingers slid lower, curving around her and into her.
Oh, man. Has he ever gotten better at this . . .
Just as she was about to lose control, he grasped her by the hips and slid her up and onto him. The shock of having the whole of him inside her brought her back, and she locked her fingers behind his neck and looked into his eyes.
This is what I want... she thought, and a rush ran through her. This was the first time in a long time that she had exactly what she wanted, and the realization felt like waking up. She opened her eyes, slowed, and looked at Finn.
“This is what I want,” she said, her voice registering the surprise she felt. Finn looked at her, reached his hand up, ran his fingers through her hair.
“Good,” he said. He pulled her down to him and kissed her, slow and deliberate, still inside her but not moving. As they kissed, motionless, she felt the need building up within her, pressure increasing. She rocked forward, sensations blazing through her with the movement.
This is what I want.
She rode up and then plunged down over him and he gasped. She worked it just to the edge, then slowed and switched rhythms, not wanting it to stop, not wanting to lose this moment to memory any sooner than absolutely necessary. It wasn’t much longer, though, before it was absolutely necessary, and Tessa finally let herself release control, moving faster and faster until she heard him scream her name. A moment later she fell onto him, her breath shooting her hair out from her face in staccato gasps as she hugged herself against him.
“Oh, my God,” she said after a moment. “We have gotten so much better at this.”
He laughed, and she felt his arms come up and around her, holding her tight against him.
“You think?” he said.
“Well,” she said, kissing him lightly on the tip of his nose as she pulled back to look at him, “practice makes perfect.”
Chapter Twenty-two
When Finn woke up, he was alone in Tessa’s bed. It took him a moment to remember what had happened the night before, everything that he and Tessa had done to each other, first in the car and then on that very bed. It had been wild, like coming home and exploring new territory all at once. She had been unrestrained and demanding, then she’d concentrate on him and send his world rocking. They shushed each other to keep from waking Izzy and Babs, then giggled together as they cuddled in exhaustion. Tessa’s head had fit perfectly into the nook of his shoulder, and Finn couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so complete and at peace.
He was pretty sure it was never.
He pushed up on his elbows and looked at the open closet door.
“Tess? Babe? You in there?”
There was no answer. He glanced at the clock next to the bed—it was not even seven o’clock yet. On a Saturday morning. And they’d been up until... well, he had no idea, but it was late. He fought sleep as long as he could, keeping her awake with him, until neither one of them could fight sleep. After all, they both knew he was going to have to leave soon. No need to waste precious time sleeping.
He got up, threw on his jeans and T-shirt, and stepped out into the hallway. Both Izzy’s and Babs’s doors were shut, but the door to the attic was open. Finn ran his hand through his hair and climbed up the first few steps.
“Tessa?” he called quietly.
He heard a scuffle and then saw her head poke out into the open stairwell. She grinned and looked down at him, her hair hanging down, framing her flushed face. She looked alive and happy, and Finn smiled.
“Come back to bed,” he said.
She shook her head, and crooked her finger at him to come up, then disappeared again. Finn laughed and started up the steps, knocking his head against the hanging bare lightbulb at the top.
Tessa sat yoga-style in the middle of the attic, surrounded by piles of open boxes. Random items were spilled out onto the floor. There was a pile of Christmas ornaments, a bunch of straw kitchen matron dolls, a few ceramic cats. Some of it was unfamiliar, and some of it he recognized as the kitschy stuff Karen had always had around the house. It was funny, because up until this moment, he hadn’t realized that it was missing. He sat down behind Tessa, wrapping his legs around her, and picked up one of the kitchen matrons.
“Hey,” he said, laughing. “I remember this lady. She was giving me the evil eye the first time I kissed you.”
Tessa laughed and grabbed it from him.
“That wasn’t our first kiss,” she said, leaning back against Finn’s chest. He wrapped his arms around her and lowered his face into her hair, placing one gentle kiss on her neck. “Our first kiss was at Annie Lateri’s birthday party.”
Finn chuckled. “Who the hell is Annie Lateri?”
Tessa twisted in his arms, looked at him. “She had a lisp and you used to call her Annie Lisperi.”
Finn blinked as the memory of a little girl in dark pigtails rushed over him. “Oh, yeah. I was a little bastard, wasn’t I?”
“Yep.” Tessa turned back to the boxes, reaching into one. “The best revenge is living well, though. She’s married to the Vermont attorney general and has a house larger than this town.”
Finn moved her hair out of the way and kissed her neck again, a familiar and not unwelcome pressure building up below.
“Anyway,” Tessa said, her voice a little raspy, “we had our first kiss in her bathroom at her ninth birthday party. Remember?”
Finn pulled back. “Yeah, but that one doesn’t count. No tongue, no play. And I was only ten years old. I didn’t have any moves.”
Tessa curled her leg in and twirled to face him, gracefully easing up to straddle him. “Well, you sure have moves now, sailor.” She giggled, looking so happy and brilliant, like a fight had turned on inside her.
She was amazing. He pulled her tighter to him, began kissing down her collarbone, pulling back the collar of her T-shirt to get at her bare skin.
“Whoa,” she said, giving a quick gasp. “Anyway, I was, uh... oh...” Finn smiled and pulled back. She opened her eyes and smiled down at him. “I had a thought.”
“Forget it,” he said.
“No.” She pushed back off him and the space between them, small as it was, physically hurt. They only had so much time, and he didn’t want to waste a second of it not touch
ing her.
“I was thinking of putting all this stuff back,” she said, motioning toward her mother’s things. “Well, some of it, anyway. And I was thinking I might paint some of the rooms. I think I’d like my bedroom to be yellow, you know? Bright. Cheerful.” She smiled. “Hopeful.” She tilted her head a bit to the side. “What do you think?”
Finn sighed, tried to imagine her bedroom in yellow, could only imagine Tessa naked on the bed, and that was fine by him. “I think that would be great.”
“And I was thinking of maybe starting to paint again, for real. You know, like I used to. Just for fun, I mean, I wouldn’t quit my job or anything, but...” She sighed, happiness radiating from her face. “It’s just something I’d really like to do.”
God, he loved her. Sitting here in this attic with her, talking about these little things... It was such a small moment, just watching her face light up as she talked. If he could do this for the rest of his life, he would.
If...
Her expression darkened, and she tilted her head at him. “What?”
Finn took her hand and kissed her fingers. “Nothing. Just thinking about how I’m going to miss this. You know, when I leave.”
Her eyes went hard. “When you leave?”
“Well...” Oh, Christ. She knew. She had to know. Didn’t she? “Yeah, Tessa. I can’t stay. You know that.”
She pushed up on her feet and took a step back. “No. I didn’t know that.”
Fuck. Finn stood up as well. “I don’t know what to say. I thought we were on the same page here.”
“Apparently not.”
He could see her lower lip trembling and it made him feel sick and raw. How was it possible to go from feeling so good to feeling so shitty in just a few seconds? How did people survive this kind of thing on a regular basis?
“Tessa...” he said, reaching out to her. She batted his hand away.
“No, you’re right. I should have known. All that about ‘I want to wake up next to you every morning and be the man you believe me to be,’ blah blah blah. I mean who says that? Guys don’t say that. Guys like you definitely don’t say that. Jesus, I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” Finn said. “Now will you calm down so we can—”
“What? Talk? Why? So you can feed me more crap about how you love me, how you want to be with me?”
His chest felt like it was caught in a vise. “I do want to be with you. God, Tessa, you have no idea—”
“Right,” Tessa said, bitterness cutting through her words. “You want to be with me, just not enough to be a real man and actually do it.”
They stared each other down for a long moment, and then she turned toward the stairs. Finn caught her by the arm and pulled her back.
“So you tell me,” he said quietly, “would a real man stay here with you, even if it meant you losing custody of your sister?” He released her arm. “Is that what a real man would do? ’Cause, you know, I’m kinda unfamiliar with their ways. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
Tessa let out a heavy sigh, but didn’t say anything. Finn took a deep breath and spoke calmly.
“What do you think that social worker is going to think if she finds out we’re together? I haven’t had a real job on paper in ten years, Tessa. How do you think that’s gonna help your situation? You think that’s gonna look good for you?”
“I don’t care,” she said, but he could tell the conviction in her voice was weakening. He put his hands on her shoulders. Touching her was both comforting and painful at the same time.
“You do care,” he said. “And I care. And whether we like it or not, that’s the way it is and nothing can change that.”
Gently, he pulled her into his arms, leaning his face into her hair and breathing in deep. He felt a knot of emotion in his throat and swallowed against it as he kissed the top of her head.
“It’s okay,” he said. “We’ve still got a little time. We haven’t got Tarpey yet. Maybe it’ll take a while.”
“That’s what you’re waiting for?” she asked. “Us getting Tarpey?”
Finn nodded. “I’m certainly not gonna leave while he’s still out there—”
She pushed back from him. “Then get your stuff and go”
Her words hit him like a slap. “What?”
“Tarpey turned himself in last night,” she said.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he saw what you guys did to his office and knew the jig was up.” She swiped at her left cheek. “I don’t know. I went looking for you to tell you, but then we got... distracted and I figured it could wait for morning.”
Finn put his hand on his stomach, which was suddenly killing him. “Okay.”
“So, mission accomplished. We’re out of danger. And since you’ve turned over this new leaf of nobility, here’s how you can be noble, for me. I’m going to go skating at the lake, clear my head a bit.” Her eyes met his and even in the dim light, he could see the tears there. “When I get back, you can have your stuff cleared out, and you can be gone. The faster you leave, the faster I get over you.”
She turned and walked out, ignoring him as he called her name.
***
Babs flipped over one last pancake on the griddle. She and Izzy had been happily making plans for Finn and Tessa all morning, since they’d noticed Finn’s keys and wallet sitting on the table in the foyer, while the sofa was strangely unoccupied. However, a few minutes earlier, Tessa had stormed out, slamming the door behind her, and they’d quieted down, waiting for the second wave from Finn. Even Wallace had gone silent, curling up in the corner like a depressed puppy rather than begging for bacon.
Babs scooped her spatula under the pancake and held it up for Izzy. Izzy shook her head no, and Babs placed it on the stack. Footsteps sounded slowly down the stairs, and they heard Finn moving about in the living room. Babs exchanged a look with Izzy.
“We should probably wait for him to come in here,” Izzy said.
“Oh, definitely, we should,” Babs said, “but we’re not going to.”
With that, they both hopped to it, pushing through the kitchen door into the living room, where Finn was packing up his yellow backpack.
“Hey,” he said, giving Babs a weak smile that was not at all up to Finn’s usual standards. Something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. And so soon after it all seemed to be going so right.
Oh, Finn, she thought. You abominable putz.
Finn zipped up his pack and threw it over his shoulder.
“Hey, look,” he said. “The rental car is at Riker’s. I left it there last night. I’m gonna hike on out and get it, and then it’s gonna be time to go.”
“What?” Izzy said. “You’re leaving? Why?”
Finn smiled at her. “Tarpey’s confessed, kid. You’re safe, I’m outta here. That was the deal.”
“No,” Izzy said. “I’m the boss here. I’m the one who hired you. I should get to say when you leave.”
Finn let out a breath and honestly, Babs had never seen him look more miserable. He looked up at Izzy and tried to smile.
“Deal’s done, Angel Face.”
Izzy looked from Babs to Finn, then stomped her feet and tore up the stairs to her room. Finn watched her, his emotions raw on his face in a way she’d never seen before.
He turned to Babs. “You gonna be ready to go in about an hour?”
“No, actually.”
Finn raised his eyebrows, looking surprised. “What?”
Babs pulled on a bright smile. “I’m staying. I spoke to Tessa about it last night before she went out looking for you. She’s going to rent me her mother’s room, and I’m going to work at the diner.”
For a moment, Finn’s expression of misery was replaced by one of total surprise.
“So, you’re gonna live here?”
“Yes,” Babs said. “The penthouse belongs to Bryson’s partners, anyway, and the money from his insurance will certainly stretch farther here than in Ne
w York. I’ve been thinking about going for a while now; I just didn’t know where I wanted to go, until I came here.” She smiled. “And I think there are things I can do here.”
Finn let out a halfhearted laugh. “Yeah, you fit right in here. But you manage to do that everywhere.”
Wow. That was an oddly genuine thing for Finn to say. If there was any doubt in Babs’s mind about what happened last night, it was gone.
“I’ll miss you,” she said quietly. “When I made the plans, I half thought you’d be staying, too.”
“Well, you half thought wrong,” he said. “I’m not a small-town guy. The pace here is a little slow for me.”
“Now that’s a crock of crap if ever I heard one. You’ve been happier in the last few days here than you ever were in New York.”
“Yeah, well...” His expression tightened, and he looked back at Babs. “I’ll return the car for you, and uh, you give a call when you’re in the city next, okay?”
Babs was surprised at how potent her sadness was at the thought of her redheaded thief going away. “You won’t be coming back to say good-bye?”
Finn shook his head, let out a bitter laugh. “I think I’ve said it.”
“All right, then,” Babs said. She moved closer, put her hands on either side of his face, and pulled him down so she could kiss his forehead. She wanted to tell him he was a good man, that she believed in him, that she knew he would do well, but instead she just smiled and said, “I’ll miss you.”
Finn smiled, started toward the door. Behind Babs, the kitchen door swung open and Wallace came darting out. Finn looked down at him.
“What? You’re coming with me?” He paused for a moment, then looked up at Babs. “Guess he’s coming with me.”
Babs watched, unsmiling, as Finn made his way to the door. He paused for a moment, cursed under his breath, then walked back and grabbed the macaw cage. Babs raised an eyebrow.
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