It’s been a damn long time since his dad and I were twenty. A damn long time.
With everything locked back up, I leave the room and turn out the light. Then go to the garage with her car in it.
As I head to the opposite side of the house it’s not lost on me just how separate our lives were lived. Through the kitchen I walk and have to shake my head as we even had two refrigerators.
I had a large sub-zero when she moved in the day we got married. Only a month later she had to have her very own. It’s a little larger than the one I had.
I had to have some of the cabinets removed to fit it in. Her reasoning was her food was always getting pushed to the back of the fridge.
It wasn’t a lie. She never ate. So it did get pushed back. And the fact she didn’t eat didn’t stop her from purchasing the most expensive shit in the most expensive grocery stores.
Everything had to be organic. Yet the stuff sat in the fridge until it rotted. And that takes a while. I pause in front of her fridge and open it.
Full, as always. And not a thing touched. I’ll have that cleaned out as well. No reason to keep any of it. If I used any of it, then I’d be reminded of her and the less I am the better.
Yeah, I definitely need to see a shrink!
Even though it’s been a while since I’ve had any nice feelings about her, I still should have some sadness. I should miss her somewhat. I should feel bad and I just don’t.
And the more I think about the wine that day, I know she drugged it. She had to have.
And the sailboat trip she had to take. Even though there were warnings that bad weather could come up, she had to go.
Promises of trying to work things out. Promises of leaving Morgan alone. Promises of thinking about having a baby.
I don’t even know why I brought that up to her. I didn’t even want to have a child with her. Like ever.
She was not mother material!
But for some odd reason, I brought that up one day when we were doing our typical arguing. I told her I wanted a baby, and she told me she would never mess up her figure for a kid.
She was about to turn forty that day we argued about a thing I didn’t even want with her. I knew her days were numbered for having healthy children. And I just brought it up.
The whole relationship had been a lie in my opinion and I should’ve divorced her when I found out about her and my father. But I didn’t.
For spite, I didn’t. Now look where I am.
Waiting for her to be declared dead so I can start seeing the woman I do love, with everything I have in me, out in the open.
I feel like a real tool. A fucking idiot.
Moving on out of the kitchen I push open the door to her garage. Her black BMW sits there with the top still down. Her car keys in the ignition.
Walking over to it, I look at the tan leather and run my hand over it. Then my eyes run to the glove box. It’s open.
Looking over the rest of the car, I decide to open the trunk. Walking around the car to get to the driver’s side and open the trunk I stop as I hear something in the kitchen.
I left the door open and spin around and run back. Not knowing what the hell I’ll find.
“Channing?”
Beth’s face pops around the door and I stop running. “Oh, it’s just you.”
“Yeah.” She laughs a little. “Just me.”
I go to her and close the door to the garage. “I didn’t mean it that way, Baby.”
“Is that her car?” she asks. “Have you kept everything of hers?”
She looks confused and who could blame her. I talk one way and here I am holding on to her stuff. Well, that’s the way it looks, anyway.
Running my arm around her shoulders, I pull her close and head back up the stairs. “I just haven’t ever had much to do with her things. It really slipped my mind is all. I’m going to get rid of it this coming week. I swear.”
She pulls the towel tighter around her. “I woke up, and you were gone and it freaked me out. I was having a nightmare. It was about…” She just stops talking and I stop our climb up the second set of stairs.
“About what?” I look at her and she looks pale.
“About her and her coming back and taking you away from me.” She pulls away from me and walks up the steps.
I catch up and grab her arm. “Look at me.”
Her green eyes flutter up to mine. “If she’s not dead. If she does come back. What will you do, Channing? It would look terrible for you to divorce her after everyone thought she was dead. What if she was rescued after she made it to some island? What if she comes back, Channing?”
“She’s not alive. There’s no possible way, Beth. The waters were too dangerous. If she had on a life jacket I would say there would be a small chance, but she didn’t.” I start moving us up the stairs again.
“What if she does show up one day, though?” She stops and looks at me with a hint of a tear threatening. “What will that mean for us?”
“It will mean I can divorce her and move on with you. That’s all it will mean.” I pick her up and carry her to bed. “She’s not coming back, though. I assure you, she isn’t.”
I hope she isn’t…
Chapter 14
BETH
“Want me to pick you up and take you for coffee, Michelle?”
Not even a second passes as she answers me over the phone. “Can I drive the Lambo?”
Drumming my fingers on the steering wheel as I sit in the car outside the building the psychiatrist’s office I found for Channing is located in, I think about it for a moment. “Okay.”
“How far away are you?” she asks as I hear her pulling on clothes.
“Ten minutes. I have an hour to kill. Meet me outside.” I end the call as I hear her falling over something and cussing about it.
As I pull out of the parking lot I see a familiar sight. One I’ve begun to see way too many times as Channing and I go about our daily activities.
A black Cadillac driven by a person in a hooded sweatshirt. The person always has the hood up and the window of the passenger side rolled down. And it seems the person has business everywhere Channing does.
It’s been a week since I spent the night with him at his beach house. I haven’t been back there, and he says he’s seen nothing else. But he wanted to start seeing someone about his lack of emotions about Jana’s death or missing situation.
He says he feels nothing except relief he doesn’t have to deal with her any longer. I think he has some deep repressed feelings he isn’t dealing with so when he told me he wanted to talk to someone, I found him the best psychiatrist in Miami to help him.
Rolling into the dorm parking lot, I see Michelle waiting for me. I haven’t seen her at all since I took the job and moved out. I’ve talked to her very little as well. I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep our little secret from her. But I have to.
As I pull to a stop she walks right up to the driver’s side door. Her hand running over the red hood of the car, she says, “K. Get out.”
I get out and hold my arms open. “No hug first?”
She hugs me then moves me to the side. “Get in.”
I laugh as I go around to get into the passenger side. A place I’ve yet to sit in. Watching her run her hands over every part she can of the car I laugh. “Thinking about taking off anytime soon. I have about forty-five minutes left before I have to pick up the boss.”
She looks over at me and frowns. “I have to get to know the car, Bethy. Something as special as this needs to be appreciated.”
So I sit back and shut up and let her meet the car. After another minute, I sigh heavily so she can see my exasperation and she begins to pull out of the parking lot.
“Wow! You didn’t even let it die. I’m impressed,” I say as she drives it smoothly and not too fast.
“Yeah, I had a stick for my first car. I loved it.” She changes gears as we move down the street. “So, how’s it been going?” She looks a
t me for a second then back at the road. “Prada, Beth? Damn!”
I run my hand over the scarlet top I have on. “Yeah, the boss man bought me all new clothes. He has definite ideas about how I have to look in order to be seen with his gorgeous ass.”
“You look amazing. I barely recognized you. If you ever quit or get fired do you get to keep the clothes?” She glances my way again as she pulls into the small coffee shop we both love.
“We’ve never discussed that. I don’t want to think about not having this job. I love it more than I knew I would.” I’m talking about the man as well.
“How are things with Mr. Perfect?” She parks and runs her hands over the steering wheel and sighs.
We get out of the car and I bump her shoulder with mine as we go through the door of the coffee shop at the same time. “Mr. Perfect is far from perfect, but he is fascinating.”
The barista behind the bar knows what we want and after giving us a nod and looking me up and down twice, she gets to making our coffees. We take a couple of the chairs by the window and sit down to wait.
Michelle’s eyes keep roaming out to the car. It’s clear she adores it. “And the apartment. I mean, you said it was nice but is it gorgeous like everything else?”
“It is. Nothing is average. Everything he has is above average. Fantastic and amazing.” I realize I’m gushing and stop. “You know, normal rich people things.”
The barista, Carmen, clears her throat and we see our coffees are done and go up to get them. Michelle looks at me with a sly smile. “Your treat, right?”
“I did invite you, so yes.” I pull out a hundred-dollar bill as that’s all I have on me. “Here you go, Carmen. And keep the change.”
Some Cuban phrase rolls off her tongue as she makes a bunch of gestures with her hands. Then she looks at me. “Thank you!”
“Sure.” We walk back to the table as Michelle looks at me with a smile.
“So, lots of money with this job then?”
I blow the surface of the steaming cup. “I get paid every week and have yet to spend a dime of my own money until just now. It felt good too.”
“You can spend your money on me whenever you want, moneybags.” Michelle takes a sip from the hot cup of strong coffee and shakes her head. “You’re moving up in the world, Stattler.”
“For however long this lasts,” I say, getting a little of that melancholy I’ve been getting from time to time.
A crease forms between her dark brows. “This thing has a shelf-life? Like, Mr. Perfect, only keeps nice, young chicks as his assistant or what?”
“No, his last one was an old married woman. It’s not that at all. It’s just that everything is going so perfect. Mostly anyway. I know there has to be an end to all the good. You know what I’m saying?” As I glance out the window I see the black Cadillac cruising through the parking lot.
I wave as the hooded person glances casually inside the coffee shop.
“Friend of yours?” Michelle asks as she looks at the person driving too. “And what’s up with the hoodie?”
“Not a friend. But definitely a person who wants to know about Channing’s whereabouts. That car has been around us a lot lately.” I watch it pull back out of the parking lot and head back the way it came. “Bet I find that car in the parking lot when I go back to pick Channing up.”
“Channing, huh? Pretty informal for a man of his stature.” She takes another little sip.
“He’s not a formal kind of man. He’s very down to Earth and laid back. Easy to get along with.”
Her hand touches mine as I hold the Styrofoam cup and gaze out the window. “Easy to look at.” Her smile makes me smile.
With a laugh, I say, “Sure, that too.”
“So?” she asks as her eyes bore into my soul. “Spill it.”
“Nothing to spill, nosey.” I take a sip and look at my cell phone to see what time it is. She’s getting personal and I’m not one who knows how to hold out very long under pressure from a friend who knows me as well as I know myself.
“I suppose with his wife’s missing status he can’t have a girlfriend. That would be looked at as very, very wrong, wouldn’t it?” She makes a little giggle afterward then kicks me under the table.
The girl knows me too well!
I roll my eyes. “It would!”
The person in the car has my mind moving as I try to think who would want to know Channing’s whereabouts. Then Michelle says, “The man in the car is most likely a reporter who wants to get the scoop on the two of you. Catch you two kissing or hugging or something. So he can break the news that Channing isn’t mourning his lost at sea wife after all.”
“That won’t happen. So he… Wait, how do you know it was a he?” I ask as I look at her with what I know is a confused expression.
“His sharply pointed nose with a wide tip, of course.” She looks at me with an expression which says a silent, ‘like, duh, Beth!’
“Okay, so with your help, I’ve figured out it’s a man. That’s something. Hurry and finish the coffee. I have to go pick Channing up. He’ll be done soon.”
“Where’d you drop him off at?” She looks over the rim of the coffee cup at me.
I shake my head. “Nope. Not going to give you that information. That’s his private information and I am very loyal to my employer.”
Only half her mouth moves into a smile. “Speaking of which. I have a date on Saturday night with a real hottie from my advanced calculations class. He asked if I could find a date for his roomie. He feels bad about leaving him alone for the evening. We’re going to some club downtown. Come with?”
I guess a little too quickly I shake my head as it has her laughing. “No, I…”
She interrupts me, “Busy?”
“Well, yes and no. I mean, I like to stay available at all times for Channing. You never know when he’ll need me. He does pay me to stay available for him.” I get up to throw my empty cup away as Michelle follows me.
She tosses her empty cup in the trash at the same time I do. “I’m sure we won’t be leaving until around eleven. Surely Channing will be in bed by then and you could come for a couple of hours, at least.”
“He likes me well rested. I have to be in bed by ten and up at six each morning. And he doesn’t like me to drink in excess, you know. He likes my mind sharp.” I walk out of the coffee shop with a wave to Carmen. “Thanks, Carmen. It was delicious as always.”
“Thank you, Beth!” She waves back at me with a wide smile.
As we walk out to the car, Michelle takes the place behind the steering wheel again. “He certainly has you on a tight schedule and every damn day of the week.”
I slip into the passenger seat and look over at her. “I like it this way.”
“Do you get any time off? Or are you his slave twenty-four-seven?” She starts the car up and takes off. “I mean even if you two are seeing each other.”
“Which we are not, Michelle!”
She glances at me. “Which you are not. But even if you were, you should be able to spend time with your friends.”
“And if we were, I would be able to. But we aren’t and what you’re talking about isn’t spending time with friends. It’s going out on a date with a guy, Michelle. So your point it moot.” I look out the window and watch the signs pass by a little too quickly as she hauls ass down the street.
“Moot? Who the fuck even says that word, Bethy!”
“You know what I mean.”
She pulls into the dorm’s parking lot and we get out and give each other a hug then she kisses my cheek. “Don’t forget where you come from, girly.”
“I won’t.” I kiss her cheek and let her go. “But I am moving forward. Don’t worry, you won’t be left behind. Make good grades so I can get you a job with the firm.”
She salutes me like an idiot. “Will do, boss.”
With a smile, I get back into the driver’s seat and go get Channing. Who I hope has had some real break-through about his r
epressed emotions.
Funny how his emotions with me are anything but that.
As I pull back into the parking lot, I see the black Cadillac, but no one is in it. I slow down as I pull in front of it and take a picture with my cell phone of the plates. Maybe I can somehow get them run and find out who this belongs to.
Just as I park, Channing comes out, and he has a frown on his face. Not what I was hoping to see.
He gets in the car. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
I pull away without saying a word. After a couple of minutes, I have to ask, “What the hell happened in there?”
“The session went okay. No real insight into why I’m feeling nothing. But to be honest, I wasn’t real talkative either. It wasn’t that. It was the fact my father just happened to be in the front lobby as I got off the elevator.” His hands knot in his lap.
“What did he say to have you so upset?” I glance at him and move my hand to run over his leg.
“He asked who the pretty brunette was that I’ve been seen all over town with.” He gives me a sideways glance.
“That’s easy,” I say. “Didn’t you tell him I’m your assistant? No big deal.”
“I did and do you know what the man said to me, Beth?” He turns and looks at me.
I shake my head. “Of course not, Channing.”
“It would make me feel a hell of a lot better if you told me what he said to me, Beth.” He gestures to a grocery store parking lot. “Pull in here, please.”
His tone is one I’ve never heard before. It sounds the way an employer would talk to their errant employee. But I am anything but errant and I’m not a mere employee.
I park the car and look at him. “What’s wrong with you, Channing? You aren’t acting like yourself at all.”
“What made you apply for the job, Beth?” His face is frozen. No emotion, just all business.
“Money. I needed money and was looking for a job. I found the ad on a bulletin board outside one of my classes.” My brows come together as I frown and look at him.
“Why my job, Beth?” His lips are forming one tight-ass line.
“It was a great job. Why wouldn’t I apply for it? And am I not doing awesome at it?” I ask as I have no idea what his problem is.
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