“What do you mean by network?”
“Network is where they go somewhere so they can meet other people in the hope of meeting influential people who might be able to advance their careers; or meeting new clients, that kind of thing. They really don’t care about the people the charity is going to benefit.”
“Do you think they don’t care at all?”
Bree smiled at Andrew’s naivety. “They care nothing about the people the charity is helping. If they did, they wouldn’t spend two thousand dollars on a new outfit to wear to the function – they’d donate that to the charity and wear something they already owned.” She appreciated the fact that Andrew was trying to get to know more about her. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about them. I’d rather fill my mind with positive things.” She noticed his well-muscled arms. “Have you been a builder for a long time?”
“Since I was about sixteen. I work with my father, so that kind of made it easy for me to break into it.”
“Yes, I suppose it would've. I really hope I haven’t upset your mother too much by coming here. She seems okay today, but it really worried me that I gave her a headache. I've had a few bad headaches in my time and I know how awful they can be.”
“She doesn't take well to change.”
“She's not the only one.” The phone beeped and Bree reached over and grabbed it. “Oh, it’s only telling me that it’s now fully charged.”
“That didn't take long,” he said.
“I guess it doesn't take long, and the charge should last a fair while.”
“I don't think my parents would like you having the phone in our house. I meant to tell you that earlier.”
“I’ve been checking it in the house, but I've had it off mostly.”
“I don't like to tell you what to do, Bree, but modern things coming into the house …”
“Yes, I know, Simon told me about that. I won’t turn it on in the house.”
“Bree, I must be honest with you.”
Bree put the phone back on the table and looked into his brown eyes. “What is it?”
“I'm really not buying this whole story you’ve concocted.”
Chapter 10
I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.
Psalm 3:4
* * *
Could he possibly mean he didn't believe that she was pregnant? “I'm not sure what you mean, Andrew. What story?”
“I’ve gone over and over this in my mind a thousand times. I'd say I knew my brother better than anybody in existence, and if he had a beautiful girlfriend, he would've told me. He did mention your name as the best friend he ever had, but he never mentioned you as a girlfriend.”
She hadn’t planned for this. Andrew could ruin everything. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, he put his hand up to stop her.
“Please don't tell me more lies. I just want to know the truth about my brother and why you're saying that this baby is his when you and I know it's not.”
Bree gulped and then took a sip of her drink wondering what she should say and how she could possibly convince him that the baby was Simon’s.
“What part of what I said don't you believe?” she asked him staring into his eyes.
“The only part I believe was probably the only part that was true; about your parents and your upbringing. I don't know who the father of your child is but I'm certain it’s not my brother. What I don't know is why you’re lying about this and causing my parents so much grief.”
Her plan was unraveling in front of her. She picked up a paper napkin on the table and clutched it in her hand. “That's not what I meant to do. That's not what I meant to do at all. I was a good friend of Simon’s and he told me what a good upbringing he had with your family. The whole thing sounded perfect and that’s what I want for my baby. I wouldn’t have thought of doing this if Simon hadn’t told me that your parents had longed for more children.”
“So you admit that Simon is not the father of your baby?”
“Yes.” She wiped a sole tear away before it trickled down her cheek. “I just thought it would be perfect and make your mother and father so happy if they could have another child to raise. The best thing I can do is give the baby to a good family, but I want to choose the family; I chose your family.” Bree burst into tears and buried her face in the paper napkin.
“Don’t cry. I won't necessarily tell my parents. Maybe this is a good thing for them. I guess if everyone thinks it’s Simon’s baby there’s no reason for them to know otherwise.”
She lowered the napkin. “Really? You won't tell them?”
He shook his head. “I had my suspicions from the start and I haven't told them yet. I could debate for days whether what I'm doing is morally right, but you're right about your baby having a good life. I can't think of better parents for your baby than mine. Would you keep your baby if you were able to?”
“No I can't. I just can't. Even thinking about it causes me to break out in hives.”
“Who’s the father?”
“He’s the boy my parents want me to marry. His name is Ryan. I told them Simon was the father. Anyway, he’s a lawyer too and the son of a very wealthy man. That’s why they were trying to force me to marry him.”
“Are you in love with him?”
“I thought I was until I found out I was just one of many women he’s been dating. Now I want nothing more to do with him.” She looked into Andrew’s eyes. “Why did you ask me to marry you just now if you knew I was lying?”
“To see if I was right about you. I knew by your answer that Simon wasn’t the father.”
“I suppose you think I'm a terrible person.”
He shook his head. “Just a person trying to do what she thinks is best.”
“Simon and I were very good friends and I think he really wouldn't have minded about me telling lies if it was for the good of my baby. He was really my best friend, my best friend in the world. I miss him so much.”
“He did tell me how close the two of you were.”
“I'm just trying to right my mistakes, Andrew.” As soon as Bree said the word ‘mistake’ she remembered that her parents had always described her as a mistake. She never would call her baby a mistake again; it was a horrible thing to say.
“Does this man know that you’re expecting his baby?”
Bree shook her head. “No and he doesn’t deserve to know. He’s been lying to me from the beginning.”
Andrew raised his eyebrows.
“I know. You’re thinking I’m a liar too, but I’m not normally. Please believe me.”
“I think the man deserves to know about the baby, before you give the baby up, if that’s what you decide to do. Surely he deserves some say in what will happen to his child.”
“I can’t. If I tell him, he won’t leave me alone; he’s not a nice person and I’ll have to deal with him for the rest of my life. My parents would be pleased if they knew it was Ryan’s baby.”
“You lied to your parents as well by telling them the baby was Simon’s?”
“Yes. I’ve told you everything and I only lied out of desperation.” Bree wiped her eyes hoping Andrew wouldn’t think too badly of her. “I know this all looks like I’m a dreadful liar, but I just want to be free of people who don’t have my best interests at heart.”
“Surely your parents only want good things for you.”
“No. They don’t. They never meant to have a baby. I was a mistake and they let me know it all the time. They’re both lawyers and they’re always working. I think I told you that already, but their jobs are all they care about. They wanted me to marry Ryan so they can get in good with Ryan’s father who’s a multimillionaire.”
“Even so, I’m sure they love you.”
Bree shook her head. “Then why did they tell me to go when I told them I was having a baby? Anyway, Simon told me that I shouldn't have anything more to do with him, the way he was treating me.”
“Ryan?”
Bree nodded and then the tears started to fall again. “Now I don't know what to do. I’ve made such a mess of things.”
Andrew reached out and patted her on the hand. “I'm sure things will work out.”
“I don't see how they will. Everyone will know that I'm dishonest and I feel so ashamed of making so many mistakes with my life. I've lost my best friend in a car accident and he was the only person who understood me. He was like a brother and now I’ve lost him and I’m all alone with no one.”
“I'll be there for you. I'll help you as much as I can.”
She blotted her eyes dry with the paper napkin that was now quite soggy. “How would you help me? If I tell your parents the truth they'll hate me and never trust me. They think they’re going to be grandparents and have another baby to raise, but they might not want to raise my baby if they find out the truth.”
“Every baby is a precious gift from God.”
“Well my parents never felt that way, and it certainly doesn't seem like I've been given a gift. It feels like I’ve been given a punishment. I want to do the right thing by my baby, but what is that—what is the right thing? Tell me, Andrew, what should I do?”
“I think you're right about one thing. It will upset my parents too much at this stage to tell them the truth. To find out now that they won’t have Simon’s baby around would be cruel, and would be like losing him all over again. You can’t do that to them, not yet.”
“Does that mean I should keep lying to them? Are you sure that would be the right thing to do?”
“I don't know. I think we’ve passed worrying about the right thing to do at this stage, don't you? I think it would be best if you keep playing along with what you’ve told them and see what develops over time.”
“What do you mean by ‘see what develops?’ What could possibly develop?”
Andrew’s shoulders slumped. “I'm not certain. All I know is that my parents will be too upset to find out now.”
“Would it be better for them to find out now rather than be upset later?”
“Not if you continue in your plans for them to adopt the baby. I'm sure they would be happy about that.”
Bree looked around the café and was glad that no one was looking at her crying. The place wasn’t that busy. “Andrew, you’ve got to help me. What should I do?”
He rubbed his forehead and looked down at the table. “It’s a tough one. Are you sure keeping your baby is not a choice you’d make?”
Chapter 11
Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually,
The Lord be magnified.
Psalm 40:16
* * *
“I keep telling you it’s not, and besides that, I can’t. I really thought long and hard about it. I had months to think it through, and this is the decision I’ve made.” It’s what’s best for the baby; I’m not being selfish. I think it would be selfish of me to keep the baby when the baby can have a better life somewhere else, with someone else.
“I can’t tell you what to do. I’ll help you in Simon’s place if you want to go ahead with keeping up the lies you’ve told my parents. I won’t let anyone know that I know anything different from what you’ve told them.”
“You’d really do that?”
“Yes, I would. I suppose no one will get hurt if they never learn the truth. And if you were only going to put the baby up for adoption anyway, my parents would be the perfect choice.”
Relief soared through Bree’s body and she leaned back in the hard wooden chair. She had thought her plan was about to come crashing around about her, but now that Andrew knew, things might work out even better.
“Would you come to my house with me soon? I need to pick up some more money.”
“Don’t you keep your money in a bank?”
“Normally I do, but I left money in my room at home.” Bree didn’t like telling Andrew a lie now that he was helping her, but she knew he wouldn’t go to the house with her if he knew she was going to have to steal money from her parents to support herself for the next few months. It was the only way she could get any money.
“Did you work?”
“I was between jobs and deciding what to do with my life. I don’t think I’m the type to go to college and study. I have a problem with concentration.”
“What did you do for work?”
Bree looked away, not happy about having to tell another lie. But how could she tell this hard-working Amish man that she’d never worked a day in her life and had been supported by the very people she’d been bitterly complaining about? “I’m sorry, Andrew, I just lied to you.” She saw his eyebrows scrunch together and lines appear in his forehead.
“What did you lie about?” he asked.
“I’ve never worked. My parents gave me an allowance and it is true about me trying to figure out what to do with my life. All I know is that a baby can’t be part of it. I just want to find something that I enjoy doing so I can feel fulfilled.”
“What do you enjoy doing?”
“I don’t know; it’s hard to say. I guess I’ll have to try a few things to figure that out. Do you like building?”
“Yes I do like building, but I’d still have to do it even if I didn’t like it. You have to do something to bring the money in.”
“I guess I’m just useless. That’s what my parents say to me all the time.”
He gave a little laugh. “Sounds like you’re feeling sorry for yourself.”
“I am totally sorry for myself. I’m in a bad situation, so I do feel sad for myself.”
“Cheer up, you’ve got me to help you through. I’ll be your friend and take Simon’s place.”
“You’ll be my friend for real?”
“For real.”
“That makes me feel so much better.”
“When we go back to your house to get your money, will your parents be there?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You could try telling them the truth and see what happens. They could surprise you.”
“They must never know.”
He rubbed his forehead and shook his head. “I can’t believe this is all happening. It seems we lived a quiet life until you showed up.”
Her lips formed a pout. “Sorry! I feel bad about everything.”
“There’s no need to feel bad it’s just that it’s an unbelievable situation – this whole thing. I find it hard to learn that your parents don’t care about you having a baby. I thought Englishers would be more accepting of things like that.”
“My parents aren’t like regular people.”
“I haven’t had much to do with Englishers but your parents do sound odd if what you’ve said is true.”
“I’m not lying about them, Andrew.”
“I don’t think you were lying about them, at all.”
“Oh.” She looked down into her tea.
“Do you want me to get you more tea? That’ll be cold by now.”
“Do you have time?”
He nodded and stood up to order more hot drinks. She closed her eyes and for the first time since Simon’s death, she felt a fleeting moment where she sensed peace. Andrew had said he’d keep her secret and be her friend. Maybe Simon was watching over her and had found her another friend. And if Andrew was willing to keep her secret, that’s exactly what he was.
Andrew sat opposite her again and smiled at her. “Hello,” he said with a big smile.
She smiled back at him.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. Going through all this on your own. Don’t forget, though, you’re not on your own now.”
Bree smiled at him, glad he was doing his best to help her. It couldn’t have been easy for him to make the choice to keep a secret from his parents. “That’s how I feel; I’m not alone any longer and it’s so good to finally share my secret with someone. I’ve been alone most of my life and Simon was the
first person I felt I could truly be myself with.”
“What was your friendship like with him?”
“It might have been an attraction of opposites. He was wild and crazy—the life of the party and I’m quieter. I met him at a club when he was there with his friends. Our eyes met and later we talked. It was like we’d known each other before; we talked until morning. I didn’t even have anything in common with him, but it was so easy to talk with him. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I’ve never had an instant attraction to anybody. It wasn’t like a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, it was like a brother-sister thing.” She shook her head and looked at the table. “It’s something I just can’t even explain and it sounds weird to say it out loud. I suppose you think I’m doubly mad to be saying all these things.”
“I don’t think you’re mad, crazy, or any of those other things. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. If that’s how you felt when you met my brother then that’s how you felt. You don’t have to apologize for it or explain it away. As long as it made sense to you and my brother, that’s all that should matter.”
She looked him in the eye and he made her see how apologetic she’d been for too long.
“Was my brother really that wild and crazy?”
“Yes, he was. He said he was getting everything out before he went back. His friends were a group of boys who liked to race cars.”’
“I know; I met some of them.”
Bree nodded. “I was supposed to go that night but I didn’t feel well.”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t go.”
“I suppose it was. I just wonder if I should’ve told him not to race, but I didn’t. There had been no accidents before.” Bree stood up. “I think I need fresh air.”
“Sure. We’ve been here long enough; let’s go.”
Once they climbed up into the buggy, Andrew turned it around and they headed back.
“My phone,” Bree blurted out.
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