by Nixon, Diana
“I can imagine what you were busy with yesterday,” he said with a grin.
“Speaking about yesterday, is there anything between Amanda and you?” I asked him directly.
“Do you mind?”
“I still don’t know what I feel about it actually.”
“Hey, we just like to spend time together. Don’t get angry.”
“I just want you to be very careful and not to hurt my sister. Don’t give her reason to hope for something more, if you don’t want it.”
“To be honest, I don’t really know what I want. Amanda is very nice and we have fun. She is smart and beautiful, that in itself is a rare combination.”
“Evan, I just want to warn you,” I said, going to the bathroom.
“By the way, Christian, I hope you haven’t forgotten about today's party? Vanessa is also invited. I think you should talk to her before it,” said Evan, leaving.
He was right - I had to deal with this problem before this evening, otherwise this party could become one of my worst nightmares.
Taking a shower and getting dressed, I went to my classes. My show had been a success every time since Eileen gave me a part of her power. The flames turned out bright and the pattern was clear. I wanted to weave some more flowers into it, especially for Eileen: heather - as a symbol of protection that I was always ready to give her; gloxinia - as a symbol of my love at first sight, and marjoram - as a symbol of happiness, which she brought into my life. I was hoping only that my powers would be enough to turn that idea into reality. I didn’t want Eileen to spend too much energy on experiments with the elements. Although I knew that if I was nearby, nothing could happen to her, still I didn’t want to risk it. I cherished her very much. Even more, I loved her with all my heart and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. And for the sake of her life, I was ready to sacrifice everything. Just in a few days, she managed to do something that couldn’t be done by anyone else - to become a center of my universe. So now I was overwhelmingly grateful to the heavens for such a gift.
When I was about to approach the academic building, I heard the familiar voice of Vanessa. Seeing me, she left her friends and ran up to me.
“Christian! I'm so happy to see you! I was away for a few days and I missed you so much!” she sang, hugging my neck.
I stepped back, removing her hand.
“Vanessa, we need to talk.”
“Oh, I wanted to talk to you too! Did you remember that Anna has invited us to a party today?”
“That's what I wanted to talk about. Listen...”
“You can’t go with me again?” she asked aggrievedly.
“No, I mean, I'm going to the party, but... Vanessa, we've never been together officially, you know? Yes, we did have a good time, although...”
“What are you talking about, Christian? Everyone has considered us as a couple for a long time!”
“Only you think so,” I thought, but didn’t say it aloud.
“Vanessa, there is nothing between us.”
“But you kissed me!” she screamed childishly.
“I’m really sorry, but a few kisses don’t mean that we are a couple...”
God, could this talk be any harder?
“Are you breaking up with me?” she asked with tears in her eyes.
“No. How can you break up when only one of us thought there was a relationship?”
“But why? You've got someone else?” she asked, still holding her ground.”
“Yes. I love another girl,” I said honestly.
“Oh, I hate you, Christian!” she cried, turning away.
I knew that I should have explained all of this to her long before now. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but there was no doubt that tonight she would come to the party with a new boyfriend.
The Festival was about to be held in a week. I tried to fix my program as planned and was pleased with the result. Intertwined with flowers, it became even more exotic. Only for a moment it seemed to me that some lines had lost the previous brightness. Whatever it was, I knew how things should be done and decided not to try any longer to repeat the whole presentation in order to preserve energy for the main performance. Evan found me in the class.
“Still practicing?” he asked, coming in. “Will you show me what should happen at the end?”
“No. I want it to be a surprise,” I said, avoiding his gaze.
“Is something wrong, Christian?”
Why did my best friend have to be one of Wizardy? Nothing could be hidden from him!
“Everything’s fine, Evan. I just don’t want to waste too much energy,” I said.
“Since when have you been worried about the lack of power? Wait, do you feel like you won’t be able to handle it?”
“Evan, it’s just a precautionary measure.”
“No, it’s not,” he said, staring at me. “The energy Eileen shared with you, may not be enough?” he guessed.
“Yes,” I said honestly.
“And you still don’t want to ask her for help,” he continued.
“You are right, I still don’t want this. You know how dangerous it is. Everything will be fine without any help. I'm sure about it.”
Though I didn't sound very confident.
“Judging by your voice, I wouldn’t say so,” reading my mind, pointed Evan.
“So don’t say anything. And please, don’t tell Eileen about our conversation. I know that she would want to help.”
“Okay, as you wish. Have you already talked to Vanessa?” he wondered.
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And nothing. I just said that we can’t be together.”
“So she gave you her blessing to a new relationship just like that?” laughing, asked Evan.
“Almost.”
“Obviously! I can only imagine,” he said, hardly suppressing just another chuckle. “What time does the party start?”
“At seven-thirty.”
“Well, then see you there,” he added, leaving.
I decided to spend the rest of the time before the party reading Lillian’s dream dictionary. Besides depending of dream on the moon phases, I paid attention to the section on thematic interpretation of dreams. In particular, to the importance of water.
Thus, according to the records, deep water, whether river or sea, meant upcoming experiences. Depending on what feelings the water caused, experiences could be easy or difficult. It was also important to know whether a person was in the water alone, or accompanied by someone else. Judging by the fact that Eileen was in the lake together with Medellin, it was possible to conclude that the upcoming experiences were deliberately assigned by someone. Another dozen of questions appeared in my head.
Could Medellin’s desire to get rid of me in those dreams mean that Eileen had to go through something alone? Was this due to the fact that some lines on her palms were lighter than mine? Eileen also heard a man’s voice. According to the dream book, the voices of invisible people could mean a hidden support... or threat, depending on what the voice was saying. Could there be someone who really knew the solution to these riddles? Was this someone really a stranger or had we not noticed him among those around us? Was it a threat or a sign of help? Something told me that the answers should be somewhere close.
A few hours later I went to the party. It wasn’t even seven o’clock yet, but the hall was already full of guests. Someone laughed merrily, enjoying the evening and champagne on the terrace, some were listening to music, while others, like Amanda and Evan, were arguing on the sidelines.
“What's the fighting about?” I asked, walking up to them.
“Evan is talking nonsense,” giving an angry glance to my friend, Amanda said.
“What’s wrong?”
“Christian, Evan suspects that our father is connected to the strange story with Eileen.”
“Let me explain,” interfered Evan. “Today, after I left you in the educational building, I decided to take another look at
the books in the office of Alexis. When I approached the Administration, I accidentally overheard your father talking to someone on the phone. And his conversation was very strange. I heard Eileen’s name. I stopped at the door and listened. He told someone that the two of you had already met, and that your acquaintance may complicate matters significantly. I didn’t get anything else, but his comment seemed quite suspicious.”
“Dad could have been talking about a different Eileen,” Amanda said stubbornly.
“Yes, but not every Christian knows Eileen,” replied Evan.
“I think it's strange too,” I said. “It’s not the first time we found out that our father is hiding something. As it turned out, we knew nothing about his bond of friendship.”
“You are not saying that he was lying intentionally, are you?” asked my sister.
“I don’t say that he is lying. But he certainly keeps secrets. And I don’t like it. Especially, if it really concerns Eileen and me. I'll talk to him tomorrow.”
“You won’t be able to. He and Alexis went to London today to the Congress of the League of Keepers,” said Evan.
“Either way he has a lot of explaining to do,” I said firmly, ignoring Amanda. “By the way, why is Eileen not here yet?”
“She will be in a minute,” Amanda said offended and left us alone. Evan’s concerned expression was clearly saying that he wasn’t going to hurt her with his assumptions.
“Don’t worry, she‘ll forgive you,” I said.
“I'm afraid she won’t agree to talk to me again unless it is for another blue BMW,” Evan said. He helped me choose a gift for Amanda on her eighteenth birthday, so he knew about her passion for cars.
I just smiled.
My father’s involvement in the whole story, however, didn’t make me happy and I couldn’t wait to talk to him.
A few minutes later, Eileen arrived. She looked amazing in that black dress with an open back. She was wearing high heels and her hair was pulled up, which showed the whole beauty and elegance of her face. As always, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
“You are one lucky bastard, Christian,” said Evan, looking at Eileen with fascination.
“I couldn’t agree with you more,” I said.
“Good evening,” smiling, said Eileen, coming to us.
“Young lady, you are just stunning,” kissing her hand, said Evan.
“And don’t you look good in a tux, Mr. Murray,” she replied.
Unlike Evan, I couldn’t express with simple words how beautiful she was that evening. I was watching her with my eyes full of love and she didn’t need any words to understand all my feelings at that moment. She smiled back and sheepishly looked away.
“Dance with me,” I asked quietly.
“With pleasure,” she said.
I took her hand and led her into the center of the room.
“Did you specifically choose this dress, knowing that it would show the back?” she asked, pointing with a nod toward the large mirror. I followed her gaze, and only then I realized the meaning of her question. In the reflection the fire red patterns were perfectly visible on her back where my hand touched her bare skin.
“I didn’t think about that, but now I can see that it was a good choice,” pulling her closer to me, I said.
“Be careful, Mr. Fairey,” she said quietly. “We are not alone in the room.”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” I said. “Besides, it's your party, so no one would dare to be the center of attention tonight besides Amanda and you.”
“By the way, where is she?”
“She went out to cool off, she argued a bit with Evan.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you later. Let's enjoy the night.”
We didn’t say anything else, just were slowly moving with the music, immersed in each other’s feelings. She was the best gift I’d ever had in my life.
We were not a couple officially speaking, but it wasn’t necessary to verbalize. We both knew that we shared much more than just the typical couple's relationship. And yet, I wanted to make this evening special. I wanted it to become the symbol of the beginning of our story. There was a surprise waiting for Eileen in her room.
When a melody was replaced by a more rhythmical one, we went back to Evan, who was standing alone, lost in his own thoughts.
“What's wrong with this party?” I asked in surprise. “You're not surrounded by a crowd of fans?”
“Unfortunately, I am losing my former popularity,” he said, sipping punch.
“Maybe I should go look for Amanda?” Eileen suggested.
“It is better if I go myself,” Evan said. “It was me who spoiled her mood.”
No sooner had he gone a step, I saw Vanessa enter. When she saw me she headed straight for me, and… Oh, God, she hugged me in front of astonished Eileen and Evan.
“I'm sorry dear, I’m a bit late. I hope you were not bored?” she asked sweetly. “Hi, I'm Vanessa,” she said, smiling broadly to Eileen.
“Nice to meet you,” she replied, not taking her eyes off me.
“Let’s go get some fresh air,” Evan came to the rescue, turning to Eileen.
The shock, pain and frustration, which were now overwhelming her, reflected in me as well. I could no longer see her face, because Evan took her to the door, but I felt perfectly well all that was happening to her at that moment.
“What's wrong?” asked Vanessa innocently. I took her arms away from me.
“Why did you do that?” I hissed angrily.
“Christian, I thought...”
“You thought what?!” no longer restraining my annoyance, I snapped. She thought! I turned and quickly headed for the exit to try catch up to Eileen.
“God, she will hate me!” I groaned. I hoped Evan would try to explain it all…
I paused, not knowing exactly where they would go.
Chapter 18. Diaries of Camilla Steward (Eileen)
I didn’t see the road under my feet and my eyes were full of tears. Evan was walking silently somewhere nearby. I couldn’t understand how Christian could do that to me. We really were not a couple, but I thought... Damn it! What was I thinking about? How could I be such a fool! I thought that some strong shared emotions and a couple of kisses meant something so much more!
I stopped at the nearest bench and sat on the edge exhausted, my feet were killing me from some immensely tight shoes.
“Couldn’t you choose a larger size?” I scolded myself. And all for what? To impress him? Twice a fool! I smiled ironically.
“Eileen, let me explain you something,” Evan said, sitting down beside me.
“Come on, Evan! There is nothing to explain here. Everything is clear!” I said, hiding my face in my hands.
“No, there is a lot to explain here,” he continued. “There’s nothing between Vanessa and Christian.”
“Uh, please, Evan, don’t even try to make excuses for him. I know that he's your best friend, but I know what I saw. That curly blonde made it quite clear that she didn’t share your opinion about her relationship with Christian. And she must have a good reason to think that way.”
“Listen, Eileen. They met just a few times, but it was nothing more than some meaningless dates. And believe me, I know that for a fact. Christian didn’t feel anything for her, and even if she had a different view of their relationship, I know this morning he explained to her everything. It looked like she doesn’t want to give up easily.”
From all that he had just said, I only heard one thing – this morning.
“This morning? Seriously? Evan, are you saying that he only talked to her about it this morning? Almost a week has passed since I came here and we spent all this time together, but he only managed to talk to her this morning!”
“Eileen, calm down. It’s not what...”
“Evan, I don’t want to hear anything else, I'm tired and want to just curl up in my bed and get some sleep,” I said, getting up. I couldn’t wear those shoes again, so I pi
cked them up, and went barefoot in the direction of the dormitory.
“Well, you're not going to get more blisters from these stones if I can help it,” Evan said, sweeping me up.
“Put me down!” I protested.
“No way!” he replied stubbornly.
“Fine!” I snapped. I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to get to my room as soon as possible.
I couldn’t stop thinking of how much I wanted to see Christian instead of Evan. Tears pooled in my eyes again. I buried my face in Evan’s black tuxedo, and let them flow. He didn’t say a word, just pressed me even closer to him, as if he was comforting a baby.
Entering the room, I happily realized that Amanda hadn’t returned yet. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Asking whether I would be okay, Evan left me alone. I knew that if I asked him to stay, he would do that, but his own night had already turned out to be a disaster as well. Besides, I didn’t want to give Amanda another reason to be jealous. Although there was nothing serious between her and Evan, I really wanted them to work everything out between them.
After changing clothes, I turned off all the phones and went to bed. The headache and fatigue overwhelmed me, and I fell asleep fast. That night I had a dream about the Black Lake again.
But this time I was there alone. There was no Medellin or Christian. There was only a familiar male voice.
“Amor non est medicabilis herbis - there is no cure for love,” he repeated, as if being aware of the pain in my heart. The longer I listened to him, the calmer my soul felt. I was no longer afraid. I was sitting on the shore of the lake and the breeze was playing with my curls. This time the water no longer seemed so black and the loneliness was not so frightening. I thought that as long as I could hear the voice, there won’t be anything to be afraid of. It sounded very soothing and protective.
I spent the rest of the night very peaceful, until the bright rays of the sun started to wake me up. I didn’t want to get up, but staying in bed was impossible.
It was Saturday morning. There were no classes, so I decided to spend the day away from Dever, walking around Gloster and doing shopping, as it was the best cure for any depression. I couldn’t go there alone, but that fact didn’t bother me. Turning in Amanda’s bed, I noticed that she was still asleep. I didn’t even hear what time she came back last night.