It was a certainty Sin would never marry her. He was fond of the twins, physically attracted to her, but marriage …! He had managed to stay a bachelor for the last thirty-seven years, she doubted he would seriously consider changing that for a divorcee with two children.
Why was she even imagining it could come true, she was as unmarriageable as Caroline had once said she was when it came to a man like Sin!
She sighed as she stood up, going in to the kitchen to get Kim and Andy’s tea, feeling a slight resentment towards them for the first time since they had been born. If she hadn’t had them—
If she didn’t have them she wouldn’t have any life at all, they were her life! What she was suffering from was the age-old problem of a mother’s love divided between her children and the man she loved. It was something she had never had to face before, and she daren’t face it now, not when there was no real choice. She loved Kim and Andy more than her own life, and now she knew she loved Sin in the same way.
The children seemed to sense nothing different about her when they came bounding in for their tea, and why should they, she wasn’t different; she had been in love with Sin for the last week, she just hadn’t recognised it as love until now.
Kim and Andy were back to normal as they tucked into their tea, having childish confidence in Sin to make their world right again. And maybe they were right to do so; she had given Brad the perfect opportunity to tell her if he was going to marry Tina, and he hadn’t taken it.
She was as tense as a coiled spring when she at last heard the Porsche turn into the neighbouring driveway. The twins were already in bed, both fast asleep after their restless sleep the night before, their trust secure in Sin’s hands as far as they were concerned.
Robyn smoothed her hands over the cool brown sundress she wore, its thin shoulder-straps leaving a vast amount of her throat and arms bare, fitting over her breasts, a wide belt at her narrow waist. Her make-up was light and attractive, her hair secured loosely on top of her head in a tumble of curls, nothing at all like the secure bun she wore to go to work. Her appearance in the mirror showed a coolly serene young woman, but that appearance was deceptive; she was a bundle of nerves, suddenly shy at the thought of seeing Sin again.
He was bending down getting some things out of the back of his car when she reached his side, throwing his jacket over his arm as he straightened to look at her, lines of tiredness about his eyes.
‘I have dinner ready,’ she told him softly, concerned at how weary he looked.
He frowned. ‘You couldn’t have known when I would get back.’
‘It’s only a casserole,’ she shrugged.
‘I see,’ he murmured, a little guarded with her, as if he weren’t quite sure of her mood. ‘Can I wash and change first? London leaves me feeling hot and sticky lately.’
’Take your time, the casserole won’t spoil,’ she nodded.
‘I’ll be over later, then.’
Robyn felt as if she had been dismissed. Oh, she knew she had been a little presumptuous in cooking dinner for him, but just because she had discovered she was in love with him didn’t mean she should act any differently than she would have done if she hadn’t realised her feelings for him. And in the circumstances, his making enquiries in London about Brad, it would have been only natural for her to prepare him dinner; goodness, she had been doing it all week, why stop now!
She had been fidgeting nervously in the kitchen for almost half an hour when he knocked on the door, tidying things that didn’t need to be tidied, arranging and rearranging the flowers she had picked to go on the centre of the table.
Sin had changed into a very pale blue shirt and fitted denims, his hair still damp from the shower he had taken. He looked much less tired than he had a few minutes ago, although there was still a weary look to his eyes as she served the meal and sat opposite him.
‘How are Kim and Andy today?’ he asked after several minutes of silently eating.
Her mouth quirked without humour. ‘Confident you can slay all their dragons.’
‘But you don’t think I can?’ his eyes were narrowed.
She looked at him in challenge. ‘I think,’ she said slowly, ‘that it depends how you go about it.’
Sin was suddenly still. ‘You’ve heard from Brad, haven’t you?’ he realised flatly.
‘Yes.’ Her voice was deliberately even, giving away none of her emotions.
’What did he tell you?’
‘Nothing at all about taking the twins from me.’
Sin sighed. ‘Robyn—’
‘What did you say to him?’ she asked softly.
‘He’s already told you,’ Sin breathed deeply. ‘Hasn’t he?’
‘Yes.’
‘And now you want to know what I thought I was doing saying something like that,’ he grimaced.
‘If you wouldn’t mind,’ she nodded calmly.
‘I made the enquiries I said I would. And I did make them discreetly,’ he stated firmly at her sceptical look. ‘It was what I found out that made me search out Brad and act indiscreetly.’
She frowned at this. ‘What did you find out?’
‘Tina is really Christina Fowler, her father owns the newspaper Brad works for.’
It was worse than anything she had imagined. If Tina’s father owned a newspaper then it was obvious they were a rich family, and if she were she would have the means at her disposal to enter into a lengthy battle for the children.
‘It’s strongly rumoured that the two of them will be getting married soon,’ Sin added at her prolonged silence.
She swallowed hard, pushing her plate away with the food almost untouched. ‘When?’
He shrugged. ‘Just soon, there hasn’t been a date decided on yet. But I thought I would get in about the two of us before that happened.’
She looked at him with dull eyes. ‘That we’re getting married?’
‘Yes.’
‘When it isn’t true?’
His mouth tightened. ‘It was either that or he take the twins from you,’ he bit out grimly.
‘And what do you suppose will happen when the wedding doesn’t take place?’
‘It will.’
‘I beg your pardon?’ she gasped.
‘We will be getting married, Robyn,’ he looked at her with steady blue eyes.
‘You—I—I can’t let you do that, Sin,’ she shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes.
His eyes were narrowed now. ‘Do what?’
‘Marry me for Kim and Andy’s sake. I know how much you care for them, but I couldn’t let any man marry me for that reason.’ And she had thought she was unmarriageable because she had the twins!
Sin’s mouth was a thin straight line. ‘Then think of it as marrying me because we’re good in bed together,’ he rasped. ‘Although with your limited experience you probably don’t even realise that we are!’
He was being deliberately hurtful now, was taking pleasure in whiplashing her with his tongue—and she had no idea why. She was giving him a way out of an impulsive gesture, why didn’t he just take it gracefully and leave?
‘I realise, Sin,’ she told him huskily.
‘Do you?’ he bit out harshly. ‘Maybe I should just refresh your memory!’
‘No—’ her cry went unheeded as he stood up to pull her roughly into his arms, brutalising her mouth with a ruthlessness that brooked no denial. Robyn felt as if his tongue raped her as it marauded into her mouth, her slender frame crushed against him. ‘Sin, no!’ she finally managed to pull away from him enough to look up at him with pained eyes. ‘This isn’t the way, Sin,’ she choked. ‘If we married we would only end up hating each other.’
He looked down at her for a moment with glazed eyes, almost as if he was just realising what he had done. He thrust her away from him as if she burnt him, pushing his hands into his pockets. ‘You would rather risk losing Kim and Andy than marry me?’ he rasped harshly.
No, she would rather risk losing her be
loved children than having Sin come to hate her! She nodded woodenly, not altogether surprised when he turned on his heel and left, the door closing forcefully behind him.
* * *
She was hollow-eyed and pale the next morning, hardly in the right frame of mind to spar with Caroline, the other woman having arrived back from London the evening before.
‘I’m sure you all managed without me,’ was the nearest she came to apologising for the way she had just gone off and left them to cope.
‘Yes,’ Robyn was too numb this morning to even be polite, having spent yet another almost sleepless night.
Caroline gave a disdainful sniff. ‘Although if I had known Sin had gone I wouldn’t have bothered to come back quite this soon.’
‘Gone?’ her voice was sharp. ‘Sin’s gone?’
The younger woman nodded. ‘He left early this morning. Apparently he has all the information he needs and he’s gone back to London.’ The blue eyes filled with malice. ‘Don’t tell me he didn’t let you know he was going?’
She shook her head, her spirits down to rock-bottom. She had taken the absence of the Porsche to simply mean Sin had gone out, she hadn’t given a thought to the fact that he may have left altogether. She had intended going over to see him when he got back, had wanted them to be friends again at least.
‘How naughty of him,’ Caroline said with relish. ‘And after the two of you—spent so much time together too,’ she added with pointed accusation.
‘He has come over several times to see the twins,’ Robyn told her dully.
Caroline gave her a pitying glance. ‘If you think anyone is going to believe that excuse you can forget it!’
She blushed. ‘It’s the truth.’
‘Maybe it is,’ Caroline conceded haughtily. ‘But he certainly can’t be visiting them at ten o’clock at night. The neighbours have been talking, Robyn,’ she added at her questioning look. ‘You’ve made an absolute fool of yourself over him, and the whole village knows it.’
‘Caroline—’
‘Oh don’t worry, I’m not going to come out with a lot of recriminations—’
She glared at the younger girl. ‘You don’t know how happy that makes me!’
‘There’s no need to get annoyed,’ Caroline disdained. ‘Although I can understand your being a little upset; you obviously had no idea he was going to walk out on you.’
She held herself stiffly as she stood up. ‘Sin did not walk out on me,’ she said in a controlled voice. ‘There was no relationship to walk out on. He was a guest of your uncle’s, and now he’s gone.’
‘If that’s what you choose to believe,’ Caroline snorted. ‘But if you ask me you just don’t know how to hold on to a man.’
‘No one asked you, Caroline.’ The day of reckoning had arrived between them, finally, as Robyn felt her temper tip over beyond the realms of control. ‘And quite frankly I’m sick of your damned patronising,’ she snapped. ‘I work here, Caroline, I do not accept charity, which is more than can be said for you.’
‘How dare you!’ the younger woman gasped.
‘Quite easily.’ Her eyes flashed. ‘I’ve put up with your rudeness and insinuations because of your father—’
‘And because you would be out of a job otherwise!’ Caroline scoffed.
‘That’s true,’ Robyn acknowledged coldly. ‘Why on earth your father loves a selfish little bitch like you is beyond me. But he does. So I’ll save us all a lot of time and trouble and just resign.’
Caroline looked startled, her make-up livid against her sudden pallor. ‘There’s no need to do that—’
‘It will save your father the embarrassment of asking me to leave.’
‘He wouldn’t do that,’ Caroline flushed. ‘He’s more likely to ask me to leave.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Don’t be ridiculous—’
‘It’s true,’ the younger woman flared. ‘He admires you tremendously for the way you’ve coped with the twins since you’ve been on your own. He’s always singing your praises,’ she added resentfully.
And with surprised hindsight Robyn could see that a lot of Caroline’s attitude towards her stemmed from the Colonel’s admiration of her; she had the elderly man’s respect in a way that Caroline never could, and the younger woman was jealous of her. Amazing as that seemed, it was true!
‘Caroline,’ she began, thinking better of her gesture of friendship as she saw the other woman’s expression tighten rebelliously. ‘Would you mind taking over for me today?’ she asked instead. ‘I have some things I need to do.’
‘I suppose I could,’ Caroline said reluctantly. ‘Does that mean you aren’t leaving?’
She shook her head. ‘I just need this time off to sort a few things out.’
‘What things?’ Caroline asked with avid interest.
‘Personal things.’
The younger woman looked disappointed she wasn’t to hear all the ‘sordid details’. ‘All right,’ she agreed in a disgruntled voice. ‘But only for this one day. I’m not paid to be the secretary around here,’ she added with bitchy normality.
One day was all she needed. With Sin gone it was imperative that she talk to Brad and try to sort out what plans he had concerning the children. Once she knew that she could resign herself to whatever came next, either to fight him or continue her life quietly with the twins.
And once she had seen Brad she had to talk to Sin, had to make her peace with him.
‘What are you doing?’ Caroline watched with frowning eyes as Robyn leafed quickly through the Colonel’s files. ‘I thought you were leaving for the day?’
‘I am.’ She had finally found what she was looking for, making a mental note of Sin’s London address. ‘Right now,’ she gave Caroline a bright, meaningless smile.
Her usual frugality when it came to petrol was forgotten as she drove herself up to London, too agitated by Sin’s abrupt departure and her uncertainty about Brad’s plans concerning the children to care about such things at the moment.
CHAPTER TEN
IT was too much to hope that Brad would be at home, although the call to his office she had forgotten to make before leaving home had him promising to be at his flat within the next half an hour.
‘An emergency,’ he said as he let them into his flat. ‘What sort of emergency? Is it the twins? Come on, Robyn,’ he encouraged impatiently. ‘What’s happened?’
She moistened dry lips. ‘Are you going to marry Tina?’
‘That’s the emergency you dragged me away from a front-page story for?’ he predictably exploded.
‘Did you finish the story?’
‘Yes,’ he muttered grudgingly.
‘I thought so,’ she nodded.
‘That’s beside the point,’ he flared. ‘You deliberately made me think something had happened to Kim and Andy!’
‘I didn’t so much as mention their name,’ she shook her head. ‘And even if I had made the implication, it didn’t exactly make you rush home,’ she derided the time lapse between her call and his arrival here, ‘Did it?’
He flushed at the taunt. ‘I have a job to do.’
‘So do I,’ she said slowly. ‘Are you going to let me continue to do it?’
Brad frowned at the question. ‘How could I stop you working for Henry?’
She shook her head. ‘That isn’t the job I’m talking about.’
‘Then what—’
‘Brad, I won’t let you take the twins from me,’ she told him firmly. ‘I’m their mother, they’ve lived with me all their lives, and what you’re proposing is just cruelty.’
‘What am I proposing?’
She flashed him a look of irritation. ‘This isn’t a game, Brad, this is something that could affect Kim and Andy for the rest of their lives.’
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he made no effort to disguise his own irritation. ‘I only had them to stay for the weekend, not did them some irreparable moral damage!’
‘I’m not talk
ing about the weekend—’
‘Then what is it?’ he demanded impatiently. ‘You come up here in a panic, gibbering something about my ruining the twins’ lives, and I have no idea what you mean. It’s a little late to start issuing accusations for my feelings about your pregnancy five years ago, especially when I’ve tried to be the best father I know how to be. I should never have had children, we both know that,’ he ground out.
‘Then don’t take them now!’ she pleaded. ‘Not just to impress your girlfriend.’
‘Tina?’ he frowned. ‘What does she have to do with this?’
‘You’re going to marry her.’
He stiffened. ‘Yes.’
‘And so she’ll become Kim and Andy’s stepmother.’
‘You needn’t worry,’ his mouth twisted. ‘She won’t try and interfere.’
‘How can you say that?’ Robyn gasped. ‘Unless you intend getting a nanny for them?’
’For the twins?’ he gave a bewildered frown. ‘But I thought you liked looking after them yourself? You’ve certainly rammed your independence down my throat enough the last four years,’ he grimaced.
‘Brad, are you or are you not going to try for custody of the children when you marry Tina Fowler?’ She was very tense as she waited for his answer.
‘I’m not,’ he spluttered disbelievingly. ‘Most definitely not,’ he repeated grimly.
Confusion darkened her eyes. ‘Then why did you tell Sin that you were?’
Brad shook his head. ‘I didn’t.’
‘But he said—’
‘Yes?’ Brad prompted interestedly, eyeing her speculatively as confusion washed over her.
What had Sin said exactly? Not that Brad had told him he wanted the children, only that he had told Brad they were getting married, to stop the other man making the claim. Now it seemed Brad hadn’t been going to make it after all. How ironic that she and Sin should have argued about something that hadn’t even been a possibility, if Brad’s attitude were anything to go by.
‘We both thought you wanted the twins,’ she amended firmly. ‘You’ve never had them for a weekend before.’
His gaze was suddenly evasive. ‘No.’
‘Brad?’ she prompted softly.
A No Risk Affair (Presents Plus) Page 14