by Harley Wylde
“You really don’t have to do this,” I said, as we made our way down to the lower level. Ty was forever buying my kids things. “You spoil them already.”
“I like spoiling them.”
I knew arguing with him wouldn’t do any good. Sneaking Ty’s presents into the house wasn’t always easy, but I hadn’t been caught yet. Beck didn’t pay enough attention to Jackson or Danica to notice if they had a new toy or outfit. It was sad that the man who should love them unconditionally, should protect them and provide for them, would rather tear them down and scream how worthless they were, while the man who had only known them a short time made sure they had what they needed and wanted. Ty had been so kind to me and the kids, giving us far more than he should, and he’d never crossed the line until today.
When we entered the store, I searched the shelves for the precious bear Danica had so desperately wanted. I couldn’t remember the name of it, but it had been purple and wore some sort of crown. Maybe a princess of some sort? But by the time I reached the end of the aisle, I hadn’t seen the bear. There were a few empty shelves so I supposed it could’ve been in one of those spots.
“No luck?” Ty asked.
I shook my head. “I know she’ll be happy with something else, I just wish we could’ve gotten her that particular bear.”
“What about this?” he asked, holding up a sparkly pink bear that looked like it had strands of glitter in its fur.
“Perfect! You know how much she loves pink.”
It took us another minute or two to decide on something for Jackson, but we finally settled on a plain brown bear. My son was very practical for someone so small and preferred animals that looked more like the real thing. He’d always turned up his nose at bears that, as he said, were non-bear colors.
Once the animals were stuffed, we went to pick out clothes for them. Jackson’s was easy -- a cowboy outfit, since he’d said he wanted to be like Ty when he grew up. Danica’s was a little harder. I never knew what my daughter would like, since her tastes seemed to change from month to month. I finally decided on a pink-and-teal sundress. We made our purchase and hurried back to the truck with only thirty minutes to spare before the kids were out of school.
The elementary school was decent and near my house, even though it wasn’t on par with one of the local private schools. It wasn’t near enough to the police station that Beck would see me picking up the kids with Ty, if he even recognized Ty’s truck, but it was close enough that if the car broke down, me and the kids could walk home if we had to. So far, that hadn’t happened, and I hoped it never did. Jackson might be tall for a kid his age, but he was still only six, and seven blocks was a long walk when you had to keep an eye on a rambunctious boy.
Ty reached over and took my hand. “I’m sorry I upset you earlier with the kiss.”
He seemed so sincere, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt ashamed. Even though he claimed Beck wasn’t a real husband to me, and he was right, it didn’t make me any less married. In the eyes of the law, I was Beck’s wife. Even though I hadn’t felt like one in years, if I were caught fooling around, Beck would use it against me. Ty was the decent sort of guy who would never poach another man’s wife.
“You didn’t upset me. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
I smiled at him sadly. “There’s no point wanting what I can’t have. It just hurts more at the end of the day.”
“I may not have ever done the relationship thing before, but you know I would commit to you in a heartbeat, if you’d just give me a chance. I haven’t even been on a date since the day we met.”
“I never asked that of you, Ty. I don’t have that right.” I pulled my hand free from his. I had to fight back the sting of tears as I realized that Beck wasn’t just ruining my life and that of the kids, but he was ruining Ty’s life too by keeping us apart. I had to let him go, make him see that there would never be a chance for us, but it hurt. My heart felt like it would break into a million pieces if I were to push Ty away.
It was painful, knowing how much he wanted me and knowing I couldn’t act on it. I craved love and the kindness that Ty showed me, but Beck would never let me have that. He’d never divorce me, not unless he was the one moving on to greener pastures. And even then, he’d make sure to belittle me and tell everyone what a horrible wife and mother I’d been, that he was trying to improve his life by seeing someone else. And he’d likely take the kids with him. Not because he wanted them, but because he knew I did.
“Jacey, you have every right.”
“Tyler Adler, you may say that now, but in another year, you’re going to be tired of being home by yourself at night, not being able to kiss me or hold me. You’ll get tired of me going home to my husband every night and not being able to give you the kind of relationship you want. You know I can’t leave Beck.”
Ty’s jaw tightened and he stared at me, the blue of his eyes blazing a brighter hue. For a moment, it was like looking at a very different Ty, a man I didn’t know. The intensity of his gaze should have frightened me, but a little shiver raked my spine and hardened my nipples. I’d never seen this alpha version of the man I’d been calling my friend, the guy who looked ready to kill on my behalf. That look on Beck would scare me spitless, but on Ty… I kind of wanted to swoon a little.
“He isn’t going to get the kids. I won’t let him,” he said. “I may just look like some broken-down cowboy, but I have connections, Jacey. I could make that man disappear if that was what you wanted.”
I bit my lip. “Ty, he’s a well-respected police officer with the Mayfair Police Department. He’s been on the force for the past ten years. I don’t have a job -- Wait. What do you mean make him disappear?”
Maybe there was more to my sweet cowboy than I realized. That thought still didn’t scare me. There might be plenty I didn’t know about Ty, but I did know that he would never hurt me.
“Don’t worry about it. Just know it’s an option, and yes, you do have a job. You review books and blog about them. Even if you don’t get paid for it, it’s still work. And you create wonderful works of art.”
“I can’t sell my art in a gallery to make money. I enjoy doing that type of thing, but I don’t know that I would want to do it as a full-time job.”
“Doesn’t mean it isn’t art. I still say you should make bookmarks or brochures or something. You’re really talented, babe. I know that idiot husband of yours says otherwise, but Beck is an asshole. Everyone loved the brochures you designed for the Wolf Creek Stables.”
My cheeks warmed at the compliment. I was so used to hearing how I couldn’t do anything right that it was nice to have someone say they appreciated something I’d done. When Beck had given far less money one month and I’d been short on the stable fee for Reaper, Ty had offered me a deal. He needed a way to promote the Wolf Creek Stables, and he’d heard that I knew how to design stuff on my computer. It had been nice of him to take the brochure in trade for that month’s fee.
“It isn’t just the job, Ty, and you know it. I suffer from depression and he’ll hold it against me. I told you about my trip to the psychiatric hospital. You don’t think that’s going to count against me in a custody hearing? They’ll look at that stay and my current medications and treatment schedule, and decide I’m an unfit parent. Face it, Beck looks good on paper and I look like a train wreck. He has commendations, has been in the newspaper labeled as a hero, and people love him.”
Beck was very careful not to let his true self show in public. If only I’d known twelve years ago that he was such a competent actor. Maybe I wouldn’t have fallen for his charm and let him slowly pull me into his web. It had started small, and before I knew it, I was married and he was controlling every aspect of my life, and I’d lost all my friends. Even the little family I had left wanted nothing to do with me because they felt I hated them. Beck had ensured that I missed every holiday gathering, every birthday party, and any other family event.
&n
bsp; “You’re not a train wreck. Ever since they got your meds right, you’ve been fine. Better than fine. No one would ever guess you’re depressed.” He reached over and squeezed my hand. “And if you weren’t with Beck anymore, I bet that depression would slowly fade. He makes you miserable, Jacey.”
“I still have bad days; just not that many of them.”
He gave me a tender smile. “We all have bad days. You think there aren’t days I don’t want a drink? I’ve been sober for ten years now and there are still times I think ‘man, a beer would be great today.’”
Ty had shared his battle with alcoholism the first time he’d noticed my bruises. He’d taken a guess as to what happened. Ty was quite a bit older than me, though his boyish charm often made him seem younger than his forty-five years.
“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” I asked.
“Who better to understand you than someone who’s been fighting a disease themselves? If you really want a job so bad, I’ll hire you at the stable.”
I laughed. “Yes, I can see lots of work getting done in that scenario. Just look, you’ve spent half the day out of the office already.”
Although, it would mean spending a lot more time with Ty. I wasn’t certain if that was good or bad. As much as I’d love to spend every day of the week with him, I didn’t think I’d be able to work in close quarters and not want to touch him.
“You know I don’t have to be there every day. I have someone in charge of lessons, someone in charge of boarding, and the cleanup crew. The stable is well taken care of in my absence. The only reason I show up every morning is in hopes of seeing you.”
My cheeks warmed and I looked away. When he said things like that, I wanted to kiss him. Now that I’d felt his lips against mine, the urge to be closer to him would only grow worse. Beck hadn’t kissed me in years, and the last time he had, it had been brutal and a show of dominance, not love. He’d even drawn blood, then given me the coldest smile ever.
We pulled up at the school at the back of the line, but had a clear shot of the door. I pulled out the visor label I’d gotten for Ty’s truck when he’d started making it a habit of taking me to get the kids. I hung it from the visor, indicating which kids were being picked up. The teachers stood on the walkway with a walkie-talkie and called out each child’s name. Until the car pulled up closer to the door, the children would be kept inside. It was a safety measure, and one I appreciated.
“We need to stop talking about this before the kids get out. I don’t want to upset them,” I said. Their father upset them often enough already.
“Fine. We’ll table the discussion for now, but it’s far from over. I’m not giving you up without a fight, especially now. We’ve become good friends, but I want more, babe. I want a relationship with you and the kids, one that includes you coming to my house, not sneaking off to the barn under the guise of visiting your horse.”
He had a point. In the year we’d known one another, Ty had been to my house, outside it, a dozen times or so, but I’d never been to his. It had started when my car had gotten bogged down in mud at the stable. He’d given me a ride to pick up the kids and dropped me by the house. Since then, he’d found other reasons to stop by, but I knew better than to let him inside. Whoever watched the house would tell Beck a man had been inside. Even if he didn’t feel Ty was a threat, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t make me pay for letting the cowboy into our home.
I knew the stable was on Ty’s personal property, but I also knew he had a hundred or more acres of land. Only twenty of that was used for his business. The truck he drove was five years old and comfortable but not flashy, so I tended to forget that he had money. It was days like today, when he was able to buy something for my kids that I just couldn’t afford right now, that I was thankful for his generosity. While the bears were cute, they weren’t cheap. The two stuffed toys with clothes had cost seventy-five dollars.
When he’d seen how much my kids loved being at the stable, and how eager they were to learn to ride, he’d taught them both on Sugar, the most docile horse he owned. After that, he’d let them use the stable mounts every time they came with me. While I rode out on the open land, Ty would watch my kids in the corral. Then he’d bought them mounts of their own. I’d been floored when we’d reached the stable after school one day and found a pony and horse standing in the aisle near Reaper with bows in their manes. Ty had come around a corner and smiled warmly at us and asked the kids if they liked their surprise. I’d wanted to protest, but how could I when I saw the joy on my children’s faces?
The bell rang and a moment later the door opened. As the car line moved forward, more and more children were sent out to their parents. I spotted a familiar splash of blue and smiled as my kids tried to break from the teachers and race over. They didn’t even question why he was the one in the pick-up line. It happened often enough now that it was becoming habit.
Ever since Ty had given Danica a blue T-shirt that said “Cowgirl Up” on the front, she’d worn it every week, sometimes twice a week. Both of my kids loved Ty, but did they love him enough for me to get into a custody battle with my husband? Or risk my life, or theirs? It wasn’t the first time I’d thought of divorcing Beck. We’d grown apart, if we’d ever even been close. The first year or two, I’d made excuses for his behavior, but it had only gotten worse. I’d learned the hard way that I couldn’t leave. He was too controlling for that, and he’d never let me go and have the department see him as being weak. Too weak to hold on to his woman. No, I was trapped, and I felt like I was slowly dying.
We moved up in line, inching our way closer and closer to my babies. When we stopped a few feet away, both kids bounced over to the truck and a teacher helped them climb in, making sure they were buckled before closing the door. Ty had even purchased a booster seat for Jackson to make sure my baby boy was safe. He was almost too perfect. If he hadn’t told me about his struggle with alcoholism, I might have thought he was entirely too good to be true. Now I knew he had faults like everyone else.
“Hey, guys,” Ty said. “Did you have a good day at school?”
“Yes,” they chorused.
“What’s in the boxes?” Danica asked, eyeing the one on her side of the truck.
“A little surprise. Why don’t you open them?” Ty said.
Both kids popped the boxes open. Danica squealed when I saw her pink bear and I heard an “awesome” from Jackson as he pulled his cowboy bear out of the box. I had to admit that Ty’d had a wonderful idea. It wasn’t often my kids received bears from that place because the cost was just ridiculous. Getting Ty to stop spoiling them was impossible, but I tried to steer him toward cheaper things, like a candy bar or soda after school. I was a little nervous about what he’d planned next. Between our lunch and getting the bears, he’d already spent over one hundred dollars on us today. Sometimes that was as much money as I had for a week’s worth of groceries.
“Thanks, Mr. Ty,” Jackson said.
“Yeah, thanks,” said Danica. “She’s the prettiest bear ever!”
Ty smiled at the kids in the rearview mirror. “You’re welcome. Now, are you guys ready to have some fun?”
“Are we going riding?” Danica asked, starting to kick her feet in excitement.
“I thought we’d do something different today. Why don’t you two sit tight and we’ll be there in about fifteen minutes or so. Then you can tell me what you think of my idea,” Ty said.
I gave him a curious look, but he just smiled and wouldn’t give anything away. After driving back toward the mall, then continuing past it, he pulled into Pirate Pete’s. Both kids started bouncing and talking at once. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been able to afford to bring them to this children’s paradise.
Both kids scrambled out of the truck once it was parked, and we followed. I had a strong dislike for the place, but only because it was so loud it gave me a headache. My kids adored Pirate Pete’s, though, and that’s what mattered most. They had so few happy m
oments, or they had until Ty came along. With all the bad things going on at home, I hated to take away a moment of happiness if they could find it elsewhere. My kids had learned early on to speak as little as possible to Beck, which worked in our favor. I didn’t worry about them slipping up and talking about the time we spent with Ty. They knew that Beck would hurt me, and possibly them, if he thought for one second the cowboy was acting in a way he shouldn’t. I’d kept them in the dark as much as I could about what really happened when Beck got his hands on me, but I knew they’d heard my screams in the past.
I’d enjoy this afternoon with Ty and the kids, then I’d face reality when I went home. I didn’t know how much longer I’d survive with Beck, but what other choice did I have?
Chapter Two
Ty
I hated watching Jacey and the kids leave at the end of the day, knowing they were going home to a man who would possibly kill them one day. I’d asked a friend to do a little digging, and what he’d found on Beck Lane wasn’t the least bit reassuring. I didn’t know how the man managed to be a police officer, unless the majority of the Mayfair PD was as dirty and crooked as Jacey’s husband. The only reason I hadn’t brought it up to Jacey was because she thought I was some sweet guy. I didn’t have the heart to let her find out the truth. Yeah, I’d been a rodeo cowboy for a lot of years, but there was another part of my past that I kept hidden. I hadn’t always walked the straight and narrow. Once upon a time, I’d ridden a steel horse more often than the ones with hooves. I’d found it humorous Jacey called her horse Reaper, since my club was the Dixie Reapers.