Reality slammed into him with incredible force. He pulled away, sucking in air. Her passion-drugged eyes looked up at him, questioning his hasty retreat.
What the hell was wrong with him? How could he think about taking her on the ground like some animal and when Eddie Victor could be watching from the shadows? How could he even consider making love to her in the first place? Shame washed over him, sending him to his feet.
"Reed, what’s wrong?"
He hated the hurt in her voice, but he couldn’t let her lure him back to her side. He might not be able to stop himself next time. It might be wrong, but he wanted Shelly like he’d never wanted any woman before. The power of it frightened him, worrying him that he wouldn’t be able to control his need.
"Reed?"
"Go back to the cabin."
"Not until you tell me what’s wrong."
He had to get away from her but make sure she was safe at the same time. "Just go, Shelly."
"Why—"
He spun toward her, took a couple of steps before he stopped himself. "Because I’m as hard as that log, and I’m having difficulty controlling myself." He expected her to turn and run, but she kept looking up at him. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes." She paused before continuing. "What if I want the same thing?"
He couldn’t believe his ears. "You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re confused."
"I know desire when I feel it."
"I don’t think it’s me you desire."
Even in the dim light, he saw her jaws tighten. "I know exactly what and who I want. I’ve moved on, Reed. I never expected this either, but I want you. I’m not talking forever, just two adults in the here and now. All that’s standing in the way is your irrational, misplaced guilt. Let me know when you get past it."
Too stunned to speak, he watched her turn and walk to her cabin. The slamming of her door indicated she might be more upset than she let on.
He sank onto the log, alone and barely noticing the miraculous light show continuing in front of him. He hated upsetting her, but he’d hate himself more if he gave in to his desire and hurt her. Thunder rumbled to the west, as if telling him to keep his distance.
****
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Shelly sat in her darkened room with her back to the headboard of her bed and her arms wrapped around her legs, wondering when Reed would return to the cabin. She’d never seen him with such a wild, hot look in his eyes. She knew he wouldn’t actually hurt her, but he evidently believed his actions would damage her—or their friendship—in some irreparable way. His frank admission of how she affected him had surprised her, making her heart thump against her chest as if trying to escape.
Now, she sat alone, her heart still erratic in its rhythm. She strained to hear anything beyond the pattering of rain on her roof. The longer she sat, the more her encounter with Reed percolated in her mind. Had she made a huge mistake? Was he disgusted with her for so obviously wanting him? Did he despise himself for responding?
She relived the kiss, remembering the sweet surge of desire that had raced through her body at the first touch of his lips, the conflagration that burst in the deepest part of her when he moaned and pulled her closer. For a moment when he’d threatened to take her on the ground, she’d been tempted to agree no matter the emotional consequences. She’d said she could make love with no long-term commitment, but could she?
But despite her earlier words, intuition told her it wasn’t the right time or place, no matter how much her body yearned for him. Reed had to make peace with a lot of things before he could allow himself to feel any positive emotions. She hugged herself tighter at the thought he might never make that breakthrough, that she might not be able to have a carefree, casual relationship. She had to decide if she was an all-or-nothing woman or if she could enjoy herself without becoming too involved and risking her heart again.
The minutes stretched into an hour, then two. Shelly yawned and dozed, still in her sitting position. She considered going out to search for Reed, but with no moon or stars, the night lurked darker and more menacing. She had no doubt Reed was nearby. No matter what he was feeling toward her, he wouldn’t leave her unprotected. But he could be anywhere within sight of the cabin.
What would she say if she did find him? Conceding that she wouldn’t confront him again that night even if he did return to the cabin, she slid beneath her top sheet. Her eyes closed as soon as her head rested on the soft pillow.
She’d barely drifted off when the sound of her front door opening jerked her awake. Muscles taut, she listened as floorboards creaked in the outer room. Her heart jumped when those footsteps came closer to her door. But the door didn’t open. Reed—she was certain she recognized his footfalls—didn’t move from the spot for several seconds. A soft brush sounded like a hand rubbing across the wood of the door. Was he fighting with himself about whether to open it?
She almost rose and opened the door herself, but Reed retreated as carefully as he’d approached. Shelly bit her lip to keep it from trembling. She understood the need for soul searching. Evidently, she had some of her own to do. Was Reed a convenient, familiar and safe way to alleviate her loneliness, or was she falling for him despite common sense?
As she listened to him prowl around the outer room of her cabin like a caged lion, she thought she already knew the answer.
****
Though the forecast for the afternoon called for a chance of severe thunderstorms, the next morning dawned clear, bright and refreshed by the previous night’s rain. Shelly rose to find Reed had already vacated the cabin. She crossed to the front window but couldn’t see him.
A surge of exasperation welled up in her. If he wanted to hide—from his feelings, from the past, from her—then she’d let him. Pushing Reed Tanner around was about as fruitful as getting a donkey to move once it had unceremoniously plopped itself on its rear. He’d either talk to her about last night or he wouldn’t. Either way, she’d manage.
She strode to the office with a cup of strong coffee in one hand and her head held high in case Reed was watching from some secluded spot in the woods. Besides, a bit of excitement bubbled within her, thanks to the comments about nature programs Reed had made at dinner the night before. They would take extra work, but it was worth it. She knew Chris wouldn’t mind working a little more, and Reed, well, he was pretty much on guard duty 24-7.
And she hadn’t been so excited about something in a long time. Not only would she occupy her mind so she couldn’t worry about all the things she wasn’t able to control, she’d get to do what she really loved—teach others about the vibrant natural world that was her home.
Once inside the office, she dug out the old chalkboard and box of colored chalk. With them in hand, she stepped back out onto the porch and put her plan in motion. Chris drove up as she was listing the week’s educational programs—wildflower hikes, presentations about the Smokies’ black bears, the scourge of wild boars and the old mountain community of Cades Cove, and, of course, viewings of the magical synchronous fireflies.
"What’s this?" Chris asked as he climbed the steps.
"A new aspect of the Firefly Run experience," she said, pointing to the chalkboard a la Vanna White.
Chris scanned the words, then nodded his appreciation. "Great idea. I see you’re jumping right in."
That she was. After the previous night, she needed anything and everything she could find to take her thoughts off Reed and that kiss, not to mention the other concerns that were never far from the front of her mind. Although she wouldn’t kid herself. As soon as she headed for the woods, he’d be there dogging her every step.
Right on cue, Reed wandered around the edge of the office after her first group of guests had gathered for a wildflower hike. Their gazes met for only the briefest of moments before he looked away, feigning interest in the treetops.
She led the group of eight on a circuitous route through meadow and forest, stopping to point out
the delicate stalk of white foamflowers, dainty pink lady’s slipper, the brilliant red of fire pink and the thick clusters of orange-blossomed butterfly weed. Her excitement grew with each different flower she identified and with every question asked by a member of her group. Even Reed’s eagle-eyed survey of their surroundings didn’t dampen her mood this morning. She tried not to think that the existence of innocent bystanders in broad daylight wouldn’t faze Eddie. It hadn’t before. Please, God, let him stay away. Let someone spot him in Hawaii.
After explaining the origin of the Jack-in-the-pulpit’s name to the group, she looked up from her stooped position next to one of the hooded plants to find Reed watching her with a strange expression on his face, as if he were seeing her for the first time. She looked away, disconcerted by his gaze among a group of virtual strangers.
At the end of the hike, six of the eight guests signed up for her talk on Cade’s Cove scheduled for early the next day so they could hear some of the community’s background before heading to the park to tour it on their own. By the time she finished with her guests, she found Reed had drifted to the opposite end of the clearing, where he helped Chris move several wooden benches and logs into a circle around a fire ring where guests could roast hot dogs and marshmallows in the evenings.
The portable phone Chris had taken from the office interrupted their conversation. While Chris handled the phone call, Reed scanned the woods but didn’t look her direction.
A bit of her euphoria at being able to teach again dissipated. She had hoped he’d explain that look on his face back during the hike once the last of the guests left. With him obviously not ready to face her yet, she entered the office and after a call to check up on her dad she attempted to fill the rest of her day with mindless tasks. Even that proved frustrating when she sat down at her desk to find her computer wouldn’t start.
"Oh, don’t quit on me now." With her father’s medical bills mounting, the last thing she needed was to have to buy a new computer. She checked the cables in the back and followed the power cord to the outlet. Unplugged. Had Chris unplugged it because of the storm the afternoon was supposed to bring? She shook her head. He’d never done that before.
She figured she must have accidentally unplugged it with her foot at some point. But when she found some folders out of place, a cold ball of fear began growing in her stomach. Eddie. Had he been this close, in her office?
She thought back to the night before and shook with a sudden chill. Had Eddie been out in the woods watching them? It sickened her that he might have seen her and Reed kiss.
She walked to the front door and scanned the forest. Nothing looked out of place, but did that mean he wasn’t there, blending in like a chameleon? Shelly spotted Reed and Chris, safe and chatting like the oldest of friends as they worked. Thunder rumbled in the distance. When the rain came was soon enough to tell Reed about the oddities in the office, to let him decide if they were evidence that they were in immediate danger or if she was losing her grip.
After checking the locks on all the windows and the back door and finding them secure, she began to doubt her suspicions. No sign of forced entry. Had she simply bumped the power cord and forgot she moved the files? She sank into her chair, hating all the uncertainty weighing her down.
By mid-afternoon, thick, dark clouds began rolling in from the west, heralding the storms predicted that morning. Shelly stepped outside to tie up the bicycles. The wind, stronger than she anticipated, whipped the end of her ponytail around so that the ends stung her cheek. She pushed the hair out of her face only to have it fly back.
"Looks like it’s going to be a doozy," Chris said as he and Reed walked up.
"So it appears. You go on home. Nobody’s going to want to go out in this."
"You’re probably right. Let’s batten down the hatches."
"We’ll get it," she said.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Hurry before the storm hits."
"Okay," Chris said. "See you in the morning."
After Chris crossed the parking lot to his car, Reed asked, "What do you need me to do?"
"Tie up the rafts and tubes on the other side like I’m tying these bikes. Run the rope through them all, then tie it tight to the porch post. I don’t want them flying into the woods or off the cliff."
By the time they’d secured everything, the sky had darkened to a dangerous deep gray only a shade lighter than black, making it look much later than the actual hour.
"You have twisters up here?" Reed asked as he stared at the ominous sky.
"Rarely, but I remember a couple hitting nearby, though never in Bobcat Ridge."
Reed’s eyebrows bunched. "How do you see them coming?"
"We don’t. We depend on radar at the TV stations and the National Weather Service."
The first fat, hard drops of rain sent Shelly hurrying to make sure the few guests who weren’t out touring knew how to protect themselves if a tornado hit. After finishing their tasks, Shelly and Reed barely made it inside her cabin before the sky opened up, pounding her roof so hard conversation required raised voices.
Shelly clicked on the television and pointed out their location to Reed on the weather map. The meteorologist paced back and forth, face serious, as he indicated two strong lines of storms. Worry twisted Shelly’s stomach. The storm battering her cabin didn’t appear half as bad as those to come.
She increased the volume so she could hear the meteorologist’s words as he pointed to adjacent patches of green and red.
"We have at least two areas of potential rotation," he said.
"Either of those places near here?" Reed asked.
She jumped, not realizing he’d propped himself against the couch behind her. He’d leaned forward to speak close to her ear. The shiver that raced down her spine had nothing to do with potential tornadoes.
"One’s north, the other to the west," she said. "The first one will likely pass by. It’s the second one I’m worried about."
"I think I prefer being able to see it coming with my own eyes," he said.
At the moment, she had to agree.
The storm continued in waves, roaring like the devil himself one minute, quieting to gentler rain the next. Shelly busied herself with making an early dinner of pork chops, baked potatoes and fruit salad. Reed paced from the TV to the window and back. Even without psychic abilities, she knew what he was feeling. Troy had been the same way, uncomfortable in situations he couldn’t control. Reed couldn’t pull out a gun and demand the storm settle down.
The storm swelled again as Shelly placed the meal on the table. Just as she and Reed sat down, a loud boom and a bright flash heralded the immediate blackout.
"Good thing I went ahead and cooked," she said. "Otherwise, we’d be eating a chunk of Cheddar cheese and some sandwich bread for dinner."
"I’ve had worse," Reed said.
"No doubt your own cooking or those horrid drive-thru burgers you guys eat at three in the morning."
Her eyes growing accustomed to the dark, Shelly thought she caught a glimpse of a smile from Reed’s side of the table. Maybe the darkness was what he needed to talk to her. She certainly hoped he would—if they didn’t get blown away first.
The wind howled like an injured ogre, squalling around the corners of the cabin. Shelly noticed a flash of light out the corner of her eye and rose to go to the window.
"What is it?" Reed asked, his voice instantly wary.
"I saw something."
Before she could reach the window, he pushed her aside. He pulled his gun from his waistband and moved to the side of the window. She sensed the easing of his stance almost as soon as he took up the post.
"What?" she asked.
"Looks like we’ll be in the dark for a while," he said. "There are sparks falling from the transformer."
"Lightning must have hit it."
With no television to divert them, the prospect of spending hours in the dark with Reed made Shelly’s nerves spark like the
transformer and her palms sweat. At least eating would take up part of the time. She fumbled in a kitchen drawer until she found a candle and matches. Positioned in the middle of the table, the candle bathed the cabin in a warm, wavering glow.
Shelly avoided sitting down to the unexpected candlelight dinner a little longer by calling the electric company to report the outage and turning on the battery-powered radio so they could monitor weather reports. Those tasks complete, she found herself out of excuses to avoid her meal and sat down to eat.
"Guess this must be how the mountain people had their dinner," she said, feeling a bit stupid that she couldn’t come up with anything better to say.
"Yeah, sure am glad the Edisons had a smart kid."
She smiled, thankful for the tension breaker. For a bit, they ate in silence.
"I was talking to some of the guests today," Reed said. "They mentioned Cades Cove. That’s the community you’re doing the program on tomorrow, right?"
Shelly relaxed more, armed with knowledge of a familiar topic. Had Reed brought it up to help alleviate the tension further? She nodded in answer to his question as she swallowed a bite of potato.
"It was a community until the Park Service acquired the land. No one lives there anymore, but it’s one of the most popular and beautiful places in the park."
As close as she was to the Cove, she hadn’t taken the scenic drive nor hiked there in months. The thought of sharing it with Reed sent a spurt of excitement through her.
Reed leaned back. "You enjoyed your hike today, didn’t you?"
"Yes. Thanks for suggesting it." She hesitated for a moment, then pressed on before she chickened out. "What was that look you gave me when I was stooped down there at the end?"
He shrugged. "I knew you liked all the nature stuff, but I never realized how much until I saw you today."
"How so?" Shelly leaned forward, resting her forearms on the table.
"The way your face lit up and how excited you got every time someone asked a question. You would have made a good teacher."
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