by Andrea Grigg
* * *
On the outside, Nick was the perfect best man. He summoned his scattered thoughts long enough to make his speech and going by the laughter and applause, he must’ve done a good job. But all he thought about was Lainey.
By the time the meal was over, the cake cut, the obligatory dances danced, it was late before he could escape. Nick smoothed out the piece of paper with Lainey’s number on it. Similar slips of paper often found their way into his pockets; it went with the territory. He invariably tossed them in the bin, but not this one. Definitely not this one.
He leaned against the wall, waiting for the number to connect. What did she think of him? What had she read or heard? The media portrayed him as a bit of a playboy but it wasn’t the truth. He was single, famous and therefore fair game.
Nick straightened and rubbed a hand over his face. It had been a busy day and he needed to concentrate. He didn’t want to frighten Lainey off by getting too intense but it was no coincidence they had met up today. Something about her compelled him, made him want to make sure he didn’t lose touch with her again. He hoped she wouldn’t mind him ringing so late.
* * *
Lainey leapt out of her rumpled bed as the shrill sound of the phone shattered the hot and humid summer’s night.
‘Lainey?’
‘Hi, Nick.’ Lainey sat down, grateful for the chair close by.
‘Sorry to ring so late.’
‘That’s okay, I was awake. Are you still at the wedding?’
‘Yep. I couldn’t wait any longer. I can’t stop thinking about you.’
Her heart hammered and her stomach flipped. How many girls would love to hear those words from Nick Cusack?
‘You don’t mind Lainey, do you? I know it’s late.’
He must have taken her silence for disapproval. ‘No, Nick, it’s fine. It’s just been a bit of a shock.’ Even though she’d had months to get used to the idea.
‘You’re telling me.’ Nick’s voice was warm. ‘Lainey, I really want to find out what you’ve been up to for the past ten years. You look the same, just all grown up I guess.’ He laughed. ‘That was lame. I’m either tired or losing my touch.’
‘I don’t think you need to worry about losing your touch. I’ve seen plenty of photos in magazines.’ She stretched out her long legs, more comfortable now.
‘Photos can be messed with and please don’t believe everything written about me.’
‘I don’t.’ Oops. She’d as good as admitted she’d been keeping track. She took a breath – and a risk. ‘Nick? I’d love to catch up … if you want to.’
‘Yes, I want to, Lanky Lainey.’ She heard the amusement in his voice. ‘Does anyone call you that these days?’
‘No one here knows that old nickname. It’s funny hearing it again.’
‘Things have changed a lot since then.’
True ... She sat up straighter. ‘Honestly, Nick, if you’re too busy it’s okay.’
‘I’ll phone you tomorrow when I get home, I promise.’ There was a pause. ‘I don’t think it was a coincidence meeting like this, do you?’
He had a point. She certainly believed in a higher plan. ‘No, I don’t.’
‘Good. Hey, I’m sorry but I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow. I’m really glad we bumped into each other.’
‘Me too. G’night, Nick.’
Lainey replaced the receiver, her thoughts in turmoil. This was something she had been half-dreading, half-hoping for. Now it had happened, she had no idea what to do. Except pray, even if it was short.
Dear Lord, I always hoped this day would come, but I’m scared. Please show me what to do.
She went back to bed and lay there, chewing her lip. Her body was tired, but her mind refused to rest, taking her back to the day she first laid eyes on Nick Cusack.
Their lack of having a father around was a common ground. All Lainey had of her dad was one photo. Alex Sullivan had cheated on his wife within the first year of their marriage and left when Rose discovered she was pregnant. Lainey didn’t miss him once she found out.
Nick had a much sadder story. When he was six and a half, his father, William, was killed while cycling to work. Lainey hadn’t forgotten Nick’s mum getting choked up when talking about it. Nick didn’t. He preferred not to talk about it at all.
Even though he was the most popular boy around, Nick was her best buddy. Lainey felt closer to him than she did to her girlfriend, Sharon. Nobody ever questioned it, either. They were simply always together, ‘joined at the hip’ as Sharon’s mother, Nina, used to say.
Hannah and Nick and Rose and Lainey got on famously. That is, until the arrival of Roger Morrison, the widowed pastor and his little daughter Sarah.
Lainey had watched with increasing horror as her mother fell in love and then married a man who was serious, uncompromising and full of rules. Hannah had been there for her in amongst the changes, but it was Nick who got her through.
And then he’d left and her life had unravelled rather spectacularly.
Lainey shifted in her bed. It had taken a long time to get to the comfortable place where she was now. It was predictable, uncomplicated and she liked it.
She loved living in Sydney teaching her sixth graders and was committed to her church. Her relationship with her mother, Roger and step-sister Sarah was the best it had ever been. If she allowed Nick back into her life, even a little, everything would be affected.
His keenness to see her was scary and thrilling. After all, he wasn’t just Nick anymore. He was a star, surrounded by amazing, talented people and could take his pick from all the glamorous girls he met as a matter of course.
But he wanted to see her, Lainey Sullivan, commoner.
She also knew she couldn’t bear to have him break her heart again and she ran the risk of that happening, despite the painstaking repair job she thought she’d accomplished. It had taken only a few moments of conversation to realise how vulnerable she was, even after all this time. And now they’d made contact again, there could be no more excuses.
She had to tell him her secret.
* * *
Nick couldn’t sleep.
Admitting defeat, he got up and pulled back the curtains from his eighteenth floor window, gazing at the city lights spread out in a twinkling profusion below.
The weariness he’d felt earlier had fled the moment he lay down and stretched out his extra tall frame in the king-sized hotel bed, memories of Lainey toppling over one another in their efforts to be noticed.
Why had their relationship ended? Why hadn’t she answered his letters?
He’d often thought about her, wondered if she ever thought about him, then told himself not to be daft. Lainey had obviously changed her mind. It’d taken him a long time to get over her but he had. Now, seeing her again had stirred him up.
There was still a connection. He hadn’t imagined it.
They’d been ridiculously serious about each other as teenagers but it had been genuine; at least it had been on his part. When her mother had married the new pastor with the missing humour gene and an extra control-freak one instead, it had been so hard. He didn’t know how Lainey had coped living under the ‘Roger Regime’.
Being there for her was the least he could do. She’d always encouraged him with his music and songwriting, heaped praise on him and told him when something wasn’t working. The best part was he could be himself with her, get cranky when he was frustrated and vent his impatience. She would either help him laugh it off or tell him to pull his head in. These days, being himself was a luxury that seldom happened. He was a public figure now, always on guard.
Nick let out a lengthy sigh and let the memories take over, the vista in front of him usurped by a vision of a warm smile and a pair of vivid blue eyes.
She was every bit as captivating as he remembered.
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Chapter Three
Driving home from church, Lainey found she couldn’t remember anything about the sermon. Her mind had been on other things.
Lainey inserted her key into the front door, her thoughts whirling. Had Nick really been happy to see her or was it her imagination? What if he was just being polite? Maybe he’d had second thoughts and tossed her phone number into the nearest bin. What if—
The phone was ringing.
Lainey dropped everything and snatched it up. ‘Hello?’
‘Good. You’re home. I wasn’t sure if you’d be at church or not. Do you still go?’
‘Hi. Yes, I’ve just come in.’ Lainey gripped the handset, her heart leaping at the sound of Nick’s voice.
‘I’ve just got back too. We all stayed overnight at the hotel where the wedding was held.’ There was a hesitation, then, ‘Would you like to spend the day together?’
Can a duck swim? Is a fire engine red?
‘That would be great,’ she said, somehow keeping her tone casual, and gave him her address.
Nick laughed. ‘I don’t believe it. You’re only ten minutes away.’ Another pause. ‘Lainey, I’m a bit embarrassed saying this because it sounds big-headed, but would you mind if we come back to my place? It’s just that I can’t go out in public without the possibility of being photographed.’
‘Don’t be silly, Nick. Of course it’s alright. It’s all part of who you are now.’
‘Yeah, it is and most of the time I don’t mind. I love what I do. What about you? Are you happy, Lainey?’
‘I am. Very.’ Especially now you’ve phoned.
‘What do you do for work?’
‘I’m a primary school teacher. Grade Six.’
Nick chuckled. ‘Perfect. You always were a stickler for the rules. Listen, I’d rather be talking to you face to face. I’m on my way. See you in ten.’
No, she hadn’t imagined it. He wanted to see her.
In a daze, she redid her ponytail and sprayed on perfume, careful not to overdo it. She was scribbling a note to Kate and Lara when Nick knocked on the door.
‘Hi.’ Despite her efforts to appear nonchalant, she was a little breathless.
‘You look good.’
A warm glow spread around her middle. ‘So do you.’
Nick grinned. ‘Glad we still like the look of each other. Let’s go. Do you need to be back at a certain time?’
‘No, I’m all yours.’ Lainey reddened at her inadvertent choice of words but they held an element of truth. She was going to have to be very careful.
* * *
Nick was bowled over afresh. When they were teenagers, Lainey’s nickname had been warranted. Now, she had filled out in all the right places and ‘lanky’ didn’t do her justice.
Entering his house from the garage, he led the way across the entry, down the steps into the lounge room and turned to see Lainey’s reaction to the view. Her face was a picture – eyes wide, mouth open.
‘Nick, this is awesome!’ She opened the glass sliders and stepped out onto the balcony.
The Pacific Ocean was right there, rolling past before breaking onto the curve of Bronte beach where hundreds of bathers were getting relief from the heat.
‘Nice, hey?’ The breeze whipped Lainey’s ponytail. Nick’s fingers ached to touch it, capture it in his fist. He put his hands in his pockets. ‘Let me show you the rest.’
He’d had the place renovated a year ago and it suited him very well. The upstairs was split-level, the living area an open space with lots of glass, and the kitchen overlooked it all. There were three guest rooms and bathrooms to the right, and he showed her those before going into his bedroom on the opposite side.
It was enormous, encompassing both levels, a black and chrome theme throughout. There was even a sitting room with state of the art sound system and huge television. Nick thought it impressive but Lainey merely glanced around and moved on without comment. He noted she kept her eyes averted from his bed. Maybe it made her think of that one time they’d slept together. He’d certainly thought about it.
She was more relaxed downstairs where he showed her the fully equipped gym, laundry, another bathroom and a small recording studio.
‘You have an amazing home,’ she said, as they came back up. ‘Fancy having your own gym and studio! You and your band have really made it, haven’t you?’
‘We’ve sold over a hundred million albums.’ Nick grinned as Lainey’s eyebrows shot toward her hairline. ‘We’ve done alright.’
‘Your mum must be very proud of you.’ She moved to where there were several photos arranged on a wall, including two of his mother. Lainey sighed as she touched one of them. ‘I miss her.’
‘She misses you too. She’ll be thrilled when I tell her we’ve met up again.’ He paused. ‘How come you lost contact with everyone, Lainey?’ She had her back to him so he couldn’t see her face.
She was quiet for a few moments before she answered. ‘I was quite depressed after leaving the coast. I ended up spending a year out west with Roger’s brother and his family before coming to Sydney. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone from home for a long time, and then it was just too hard. I feel pretty bad about it.’
When she turned there was an awkward silence. A hundred questions sprang to mind, but he stopped himself from asking any of them. The last thing he wanted was Lainey deciding she needed to go home because he’d been impatient. A change of pace was called for.
‘Let’s eat. You’re going to love my housekeeper’s lasagne.’
Lainey’s eyes lit up. ‘Really?’
Nick chuckled as he led the way into the kitchen, relieved at the change of mood. He showed her where everything was kept and they laid the table together, moving easily around one another. He smiled at the amount of food Lainey put on her plate. Most of the women he knew were obsessed with dieting.
‘Wow,’ she said, after her first mouthful, ‘does your cook share recipes?’
‘I’ll be sure to ask.’
‘So how does all this work for you? What happens when you’re away?’
‘Rosa and Angelo live in a flat opposite my driveway. Rosa does the housekeeping and Angelo does the gardening and any other maintenance. They also own a pizza and pasta shop down the road which Angelo runs with his sons.’ Nick set down his water glass. ‘What I really want to know is, how did you manage to convince Roger to let you out of the house? I’m surprised you’re not still there, chained to your bed.’
Lainey grinned. ‘It’s all thanks to Lara. I met her when I finished my last year of high school down here. It’s because of her parents’ influence on Roger, that I got to do stuff I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. I owe her a lot but I introduced her to her boyfriend, Adam, so I guess we’re even.’ She put her head to one side. ‘Did you notice my nose is straight now?’
‘Directly after I’d gotten over the shock of seeing you.’
‘Oh.’ Lainey coloured a little and toyed with her fork. ‘Well, that was thanks to Adam’s shoe. We played in a touch football team together at university. We collided one time and his foot broke my nose. Again. I had to have an operation and it got straightened for free. I was over the moon.’
‘You were pretty even when your nose was crooked.’
Nick enjoyed watching her fidget and blush and teased her again when she helped herself to more lasagne. He found out she went running nearly every day and played tennis and squash at least once a week. It explained her very attractive figure.
She wanted to know about his career right from the beginning, about the boys in the band, what they were like, how he got on with them. He found himself telling her things he would never tell just anyone. It was almost like the old days. Almost. Except for the elephant in the room.
A long while later, they got up from the table and cleaned
the kitchen together before settling on one of the lounges with a cup of coffee. Nick realised it had become late afternoon without either of them noticing.
As Lainey described her group of church friends, Nick thought he might do a bit of probing. ‘I’m surprised you’re not married.’
Lainey’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. ‘Yeah, well, the right one hasn’t come along. It’s hard finding someone tall enough.’ Then she eyeballed him. ‘I haven’t slept with anyone else in case you’re wondering.’
Nick almost choked on his coffee. ‘I wasn’t exactly going to ask, Lainey.’ Deep down he had wanted to know and felt a surge of satisfaction he’d been the only one. It was a bit primeval but there it was.
‘What about you? You haven’t ever married, have you?’
‘No,’ he said slowly, ‘but I haven’t been a monk either.’
‘I hadn’t expected you to be.’ Her smile held a touch of sadness.
Then it hit him why he found her so appealing.
Despite that one afternoon, there was a purity about her, a quality that held an enormous amount of attraction for him. He also knew by the things she’d said today it was because of her faith.
‘I still believe in God, you know.’ She drew the confession out of him like a magnet attracting iron.
‘I wondered where you stood on that.’
‘Mum talks to me about it every now and then but I usually change the subject.’
‘She just wants to make sure you’re heading in the right direction when you die. So do I.’
Talking about God made him on edge. He looked at her, this girl he’d known so well, loved so much and was now in front of him again, a grown woman. And he couldn’t wait any longer.
‘Lainey, why did we break up?’
‘You tell me.’
Her blue eyes were like lasers. He had an inkling as to what it would be like if he were a naughty boy in her class. ‘Why didn’t you answer any of my letters?’
She froze, her mug halfway to her lips. ‘What letters?’
‘I wrote to you for six months and you never wrote back.’