by Andrea Grigg
‘No, Lainey, wait.’ Nick tried to be quiet, not wanting to give the baby a fright. He couldn’t bear it if she left now.
She shook her head. ‘No. I have to go. Don’t even think about following me.’
She picked up her bag and fled.
Chapter Forty-Two
Lainey drove all the way home before she realised she’d left Nick stranded. Good. He wouldn’t be coming for her any time soon.
To her relief, the flat was empty. She went into her bedroom, pulled down a bag from the top of the wardrobe and threw in some clothes. She was going to Marshalls Creek.
Was she running away from Nick or did she need to be where her memories of Liam were strongest? Probably both. Watching Nick with Jamie had nearly killed her, especially when he’d cried; it had been tough enough dealing with her own issues. On top of that, he wasn’t hers anymore.
She phoned Janet and Henry, praying they were home. Janet answered, thrilled to hear from her but worried about her driving all that way when she was upset. Lainey persuaded her she’d be fine but her mother was a different story.
‘Lainey, please wait. I’ll come home and we can talk.’
‘Mum, I have to go. Now.’ She described the emotional roller coaster of Jamie’s birth and recounted the conversation she’d overheard.
‘You must have made a mistake, sweetheart. Nick wouldn’t do that to you, he just wouldn’t. Don’t do this!’
‘Mum, I know what I heard. I don’t want Nick to find me and he will if I don’t go right away. I need a few days by myself. I’m switching off my phone but I’ll call you later, I promise. I love you.’
She hated distressing her mother, hated leaving Lara the way she had but survival was a priority. She’d driven up from Sydney by herself so it wasn’t like she had never done a long trip before. She would be fine.
Lainey spent the first hour in silence. In the second she vented and prayed. During the third she sang along to a praise CD. By the time she called it a night, she felt a bit better. She phoned her mother from her motel, then slept until eight the next morning.
Refreshed from a decent night’s sleep and knowing she’d bought herself some time, Lainey drove on.
She had seen Janet, Henry and the children a few times when they had come to Sydney but she’d never been back to Marshalls Creek. The landmarks were still the same and most of the shops on the main street were too. She pulled up outside the Morrison’s place and smiled. It hadn’t changed either.
Janet had said they mightn’t be home. Henry was working and the rest of them were out for lunch, but she was welcome to go in.
The key was under the third pot plant to the left of the front door, just like it used to be. She opened the door, inhaled and remembered. All houses had their own particular flavour, she’d observed. This one was no exception.
Lainey phoned her mother but kept it short, not wanting to talk about Nick, and promised to ring tomorrow. She made herself a sandwich, sat outside on the verandah, and waited.
It wasn’t long before a four-wheel drive appeared. Lainey watched as her step-cousins tumbled out. Daniel and Steven were fifteen now. Typical teenage boys, they gave her only a brief hello before going inside and coming straight back out with their skateboards and towels under their arms, headed for the local pool.
Grace and Rachel hugged her, complained about the heat then escaped to the lounge room to watch television. No doubt Janet had primed the girls to leave them alone.
‘It’s so good to see you. Glad you made it safely.’ Her aunt kissed her and held her tight.
‘Thank you for letting me come. I’m feeling better already.’
Janet patted her shoulder. ‘Let’s have a cuppa.’
The Aussie cure for everything. Lainey sat at the kitchen table and watched Janet make the tea.
‘So, who’ve you run away from? Not Roger, I wouldn’t think.’ Janet smiled. ‘He’s not like he was, is he?’
‘No.’ Lainey smiled back. ‘We get on well these days.’ She took a deep breath then let it out in a rush. ‘I’ve run away from Nick.’
‘Ah.’ Janet nodded. ‘Nick. The one you went out with a couple of years ago, the singer-actor guy. Very ugly man. Don’t know what you saw in him.’
Lainey laughed in spite of herself. ‘Right. Has my mother talked to you lately?’
‘Naturally.’ Janet touched her hand. ‘She filled me in on all the details.’
‘Did she tell you Nick was Liam’s father?’ Lainey kept her voice low even though the television was loud.
‘No, but Henry and I figured it out, not that we’ve said anything to anyone, not even your mother or Roger. After you’d got back together and we heard what happened to the letters, it was fairly obvious.’
Lainey sighed. ‘I’m always worried someone’s going to work it out one day and go public with it. I’m sure Nick and I could handle it even though it would be messy, but I would hate it if someone decided to go on a crusade to find Liam just to get a story. That would be horrendous.’
‘It’s a possibility I suppose.’ Janet paused. ‘Lainey, your mum thinks you have it all wrong about Nick. She’s convinced you misheard him.’
Lainey sighed again and retold her side of things, including her idea for the three month break. The sadness was back with a vengeance, especially as she spoke about Jamie’s birth, and Nick’s reaction.
‘I just can’t see what other explanation there would be,’ she said. ‘I wish I could.’
‘Unfortunately, you ran away before Nick got to talk to you.’ Janet’s words were blunt but her expression was sympathetic.
‘I had to. It really hurts.’ She pressed her fingers to her eyes, pushing back the tears. It was time to face it, just a little bit.
The phone rang, cutting across their conversation.
Janet flapped a hand. ‘The girls will get it. It’s always for one of them.’
Except it wasn’t. Grace came in, with the walkabout phone. ‘It’s for you, Lainey. Some guy.’
Panicked, Lainey gestured for Janet to take it. She knew it would be Nick and there was no way she could talk to him yet.
Her aunt took the phone and waited until Grace had left the room. ‘Janet Morrison here.’ Pause. ‘Hello, Nick, how are you?’ Pause. ‘Yes, she’s here but she arrived only a little while ago and she doesn’t feel ready to come to the phone just yet.’ Pause. ‘I can imagine. Alright, I’ll tell her.’ A nod. ‘I will. Bye.’
Janet pressed the disconnect button and stared at the phone. ‘That man has the most incredible voice.’
‘What did he say?’ She already knew about the voice.
‘He said he’s been really worried about you and he’s glad you’ve arrived safely. He’s going to phone again later.’
‘Well, I’m not going to speak to him.’ Lainey was mutinous. ‘I’m really annoyed Mum caved in and gave him this number so quickly.’
‘Don’t be too hard on your mother. She’s just trying to help.’ Janet rose and refilled the jug. ‘Grace has no idea who she spoke to and I won’t tell her. She was very disappointed when you two broke up. She earned a lot of brownie points telling her friends her cousin was going out with Nick Cusack.’
‘She’s going to stay disappointed. Don’t be fooled by Nick and all his charm, Janet.’ Lainey teared up again. ‘I know he’s got someone else now and it’s really, really hard for me to come to terms with. I thought we were going to make it this time. I mean, he’s become a Christian and everything, just like I’d been praying for but it seems God has other ideas. And then I saw him with Jamie and he was upset when he realised what it had been like for me and he cried, Janet, he cried.
She reefed a tissue out of the box on the bench and blew her nose. ‘Nick has such a big heart, but the thing is, it doesn’t belong to me. That’s the hardest part out of all this because
he still has mine. When he calls again, please don’t ask me to talk to him. I can’t. Not yet. Maybe in a day or two.’
She was halfway out the door when Janet’s voice stopped her.
‘Are you absolutely, one hundred percent sure you haven’t got the wrong idea?’
Lainey flicked away the tears. ‘I wish, but I don’t think so. It is what it is.’
She lay on the old lounge and prayed, thought about Nick holding Jamie, the expression on his face. She cried some more before she dozed off and then was woken by the sound of the phone. After a minute Janet came out and sat beside her.
‘That’s the fourth time. You’ve slept through the others. He just wants to talk to you, Lainey. You can’t keep avoiding him.’
It was true, but she wasn’t doing it today.
‘If he rings again, tell him I’ll talk to him tomorrow after church. I’ll come with you in the morning.’
‘Good girl.’ Janet squeezed her knee. ‘We’re off to the McIntyres’ place for a barbecue tonight. We’d love you to come but I understand if you don’t feel up to it.’
‘No, I’ll come.’ Anything would be better than being on her own and hearing that phone.
It rang once more while Lainey was in her room getting ready. She entered the kitchen just as Janet hung up.
‘Right,’ she said, ‘Nick will call you tomorrow afternoon. He wants you to switch your mobile back on and he’ll phone you on that.’
‘Okay. Thanks. How did he sound?’ She couldn’t help it.
‘Relieved. You’re putting him through it, you know.’
It served him right.
There were six missed calls from Nick and a text from Lara. She and Jamie were doing fine and she loved her.
Lainey replied to Lara, apologising once more, then received a new message from Nick. Finally. Talk to you tomorrow. Thank you.
No crosses to indicate kisses or anything. Lainey threw the phone into her handbag, slung it over her shoulder and went out to join the rest of the family.
* * *
The McIntyres lived a fifteen minute drive away on the outskirts of town. Julia and her husband Chris had moved into the area after Lainey had left, so they hadn’t met. They certainly didn’t know the reason for her sudden visit.
After the remains of the barbecue had been cleared away, Henry and Chris opted to sit outside and keep an eye on the kids in the pool. Julia was keen to watch the DVD she’d received for Christmas. Lainey didn’t care what it was; she was content to sit under a fan and have her mind taken off Nick and tomorrow’s phone call.
Julia ripped off the plastic covering. ‘I just love this movie. I saw it at the cinema twice and told the kids I wanted it for my birthday but they forgot and gave it to me for Christmas instead. I think it’s wonderful how Nick Cusack, our absolutely gorgeous man from Down Under, can be up there with all the big American stars. And you know what? I’ve heard he’s become a Christian. Isn’t that wonderful? Imagine if … he … oh dear.’
She glanced from Janet to Lainey and back again in quick succession. ‘I’m so sorry.’ She sat down with a thump beside Lainey. ‘You were an item at one stage weren’t you? I am so stupid. How could I forget something like that? And here’s me raving on about him like a madwoman. Here, we’ll watch something else.’ She was up again, scrabbling around in the cabinet under the television.
‘It’s alright.’ Lainey was surprised Julia even knew she and Nick had dated but in a way she wasn’t. Apart from magazines and television, there was always the bush telegraph. ‘It’s okay, honestly. It’s a great movie. I don’t mind seeing it.’ She didn’t, despite her earlier wish to keep her mind off him. She might as well start getting used to this again.
‘Are you sure?’
Against All Odds was on the floor beside Julia, Nick’s face peeking out from amongst the other men in army uniform. Lainey picked it up and handed it back to her. ‘I’m sure. I went to the Sydney premiere of this with Nick. I had a lot of fun.’
And he was so proud of me and I’ve got this beautiful photo of the two of us in my treasure box and we look so happy.
Grace sat bolt upright. ‘That’s who’s been phoning you, isn’t it?’ She poked at her. ‘He’s been phoning you ever since you got here!’
‘Drop it, Grace.’ Her mother’s tone was sharp.
‘I’ve talked to Nick Cusack on the phone. Three times!’ Grace held her hands to her face. ‘Wait until I tell the girls. They’ll never believe me.’
‘Please don’t.’ Lainey’s voice was quiet but it had more of an effect than Janet’s.
Grace slumped back against the lounge. ‘Okay then, but what’s going on? He’s ringing you an awful lot. I thought you two had broken up.’
‘We did. I mean we have. We are. We’re not dating.’ Lainey knew she sounded rattled. She was.
‘So why aren’t you talking to him? Oh, Mum, don’t get in a flap. You take the phone every time he asks for Lainey. Even Rachel’s worked out what’s going on but we just didn’t know who it was. It’s obvious why Lainey’s here. Out here’s the best place to hide.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘This is the back of beyond.’
‘You’re hiding from Nick Cusack?’ Julia was incredulous. ‘You’ve got to be kidding. All the single women I know would be saying, ‘Pick me! Pick me!’
‘And a few of the married ones too, I imagine,’ said Janet.
‘Can we please just watch the movie?’ Lainey took it out of Julia’s hand and thrust it into the machine.
Grace leaned closer. ‘So why won’t you talk to him?’
‘I will, tomorrow.’ Lainey evaded the question.
‘What’s he really like?’
‘He’s … he’s …’ Lainey could think of only one word. ‘He’s wonderful.’
‘If he’s wonderful then what’s your problem?’
‘I don’t think he thinks I’m particularly wonderful right now.’
‘What if you’re wrong and he does? Think you’re wonderful, I mean. You’re not going to know if you don’t talk to him, are you?’ Grace’s logic was faultless. She wasn’t whispering any more either. ‘If he didn’t care about you, why would he bother ringing you so much?’
‘Grace, that’s enough.’ Janet was very firm. ‘Sorry, Lainey.’
Grace sat back in a huff but her question rolled around in Lainey’s head. Would Nick be trying so hard to get hold of her if he didn’t care? Grace had a point.
For the first time, Lainey had a flicker of doubt. Nick was phoning a lot and he’d been very disappointed when she hadn’t wanted to talk at the hospital. Did she honestly think he’d give her bad news at a time like that? It wasn’t his usual style. He was a thoughtful and intuitive person, much more than she was. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d jumped to conclusions and been wrong, would it?
Insides churning, she watched him on the screen. She had a horrible feeling she’d been really, really stupid. She didn’t know why he’d said what he’d said, but deep down, she knew there would be an explanation. Everyone was right. He wouldn’t do that to her.
She slumped down further in her seat. By not letting him talk and giving him the brush off, she’d thrown it all back in his face.
And she had thought he had trust issues.
Chapter Forty-Three
The heat rose up and smacked him as Nick stepped off the plane and onto the tarmac. It was only a little cooler in the hangar that also served as a terminal. He managed to persuade the woman at the counter to peel her eyes away from her crossword long enough to phone for a taxi. It was there in minutes and he climbed gratefully into the air conditioned interior, tossing his overnight bag on the seat behind him.
The driver looked him over as he gave the address. ‘Have you been out here before? You look familiar.’
‘No, first time. Have you lived out here
for long?’
‘Yep. All my life. Ask me anything about this town and I’ll tell you. What I don’t know, my missus will.’
Nick smiled at the contradiction. ‘Do you know the Morrisons?’
‘Sure do. Henry owns the only decent hardware shop for miles around. He’s a good man, Henry. He’d do anything for anyone. Are you a friend or a relative?’
‘Friend.’ At least, he hoped he would be.
They chatted about the usual things – the weather, how hot it was, the cricket test against England – before pulling up at a tidy, grey-painted wooden house. Nick’s heartbeat increased when he saw Lainey’s car parked outside.
‘Doesn’t look like they’re home, mate. That car isn’t usually here and it’s from interstate, goin’ by the plates. Are they expecting you?’
‘I thought they were.’
‘Just try the door then. If they know you’re coming, it’ll be unlocked. It’s still that kind of town. Do you want me to wait just in case?’
‘No, I’ll be right, thanks.’ He handed over the fare and gave him a wave before walking down the driveway and up the short flight of steps to the front door. Sure enough, when he tried the handle, it opened.
He stepped inside, and let his eyes adjust after the harsh sunlight. It was dead quiet except for the loud tick of a clock echoing over the timber floors. He made his way down the hall and into the kitchen. On the table was a note, next to a set of keys.
Dear Nick, We were invited to lunch after church and Lainey wanted to come so it would’ve looked silly if I’d tried to persuade her otherwise. I found her keys so bring her car on over. Janet.
The map she had drawn was easy to follow and he was there in fifteen minutes. Three other cars were parked outside and there was laughter and splashing sounds from the pool. Not quite the private setting he’d hoped for.
Again, the front door was unlocked. Cautiously, he made his way down the hall and into the large kitchen. The pool looked inviting despite the fact it had about ten kids in it, all playing ‘Marco Polo’. He smiled – he and Lainey had played it hundreds of times.