“More so than ever before.”
Lisa slowly nodded. “That’s cool.”
“Are you hungry?” Janie asked.
Lisa shrugged with that faraway look in her eyes again.
“Do you remember when you last ate?”
Another shrug.
“Do you still like oatmeal?”
Lisa looked up with a bit of interest.
Janie stood. “I’m going to make some. It actually sounds kind of good to me, too. I’ve been eating it with nuts and dried berries lately.”
Using the still-hot water from the teakettle, Janie made what looked to be about four helpings of oatmeal. “Do you still like it with honey?” she called.
“I guess so.”
Before long, they were seated in the kitchen, eating oatmeal together. And Lisa, in Janie’s blue and yellow April Cornell pajamas with her hair wrapped loosely in a white towel and a bit of color reappearing in her cheeks, was starting to look almost normal. However, Janie was no fool. She knew that looks could be deceiving. Still, she was glad that Lisa was here. Despite the odds, Janie felt hopeful.
The next morning, Janie couldn’t wait to call Victor—except that she knew he was on his way up to Portland to pick up his son Ben. Victor’s older son, Marcus, as well as Marcus’s fiancée, had opted to spend Christmas split between their moms, both of whom were more conveniently located in the Chicago area. But Victor had made it clear that Marcus would’ve preferred to come out here. “But he’s feeling sorry for his mom,” Victor had told her a couple of days ago. “I guess Donna’s been depressed.”
Janie wasn’t surprised, given all that had transpired around Thanksgiving. Even though Victor’s ex was seeing her therapist again, it would probably take time and meds to undo the damage of that ill-fated visit. Plus, a lot of people got blue at Christmastime. In fact, Janie had been a little down before Lisa showed up. Now she was mostly just nervous. More than anything, she wanted Lisa to stay with her. But knowing Lisa, that could be a challenge. Lisa had a history of showing up unexpectedly, getting what she wanted, and taking off again. Janie prayed that this time would be different.
For that reason, she called her son. “Hey, Matthew,” she said cheerfully into his voice mail. “You’ll never guess who showed up at my door last night.” She chuckled. Well, knowing her smart son, he would guess. “Anyway, I sure wish you could come out here and be with us for Christmas. I know you have other plans, but if you change your mind, I’ll be glad to spring for your flight.” Of course, she knew the chances of this happening were minimal. Matthew wouldn’t be willing to expose his girlfriend to Lisa, and even if he was willing to leave Cassie behind, getting tickets at this late date would probably be next to impossible. Still, it didn’t hurt to ask.
Then she decided to call Victor’s home phone. That way she could at least leave a message. She wanted him to be aware of what was happening, especially since Victor had been planning to have her and Ben at his house for Christmas Eve. She hoped he’d be okay with another guest—and that Lisa would be okay with going.
With those two calls done, Janie considered fixing breakfast. Except she had no idea how long Lisa would sleep. As worn out as she’d appeared last night, Janie wouldn’t be surprised if she slept until noon. Mostly, Janie was glad that Lisa was still here. She’d checked to be sure. However, what would happen later today or tomorrow remained to be seen.
Chapter 17
Caroline
Caroline considered herself to be a fairly understanding person. At least she tried. But sometimes Mitch stretched her patience a bit. To be fair, she probably stretched his, too. He’d surprised her by flying into Clifden this afternoon, just two days before Christmas. Shortly after she picked him up at the airport, it became clear that their holiday plans were not quite melding. Because she hadn’t heard anything specific from him, and that had been an issue in itself, Caroline had agreed to celebrate Christmas with her friends.
“I’m sorry you’re disappointed,” she apologized again. “I didn’t know what else to do. It’s not like I wanted to just sit by myself throughout the holidays.”
“But I told you I was coming.”
“I knew you were coming, Mitch.” She wondered if that was really true. He’d been so vague. “I just didn’t know exactly when, or how long you’d stay, or much of anything specifically.”
“Yes, and that’s my fault and I do understand you making other plans. But it’s just that I had something else in mind.” Mitch gave her a slightly hangdog look.
“What sort of plans?” She pulled in front of the hotel where, unbeknownst to her, he’d booked a room.
“Different ones.” He grinned.
“You made plans for right here in Clifden?” she questioned. “I mean, you do realize there’s not a whole lot to do in town on Christmas, right?”
He shrugged.
“And you know that I don’t have a real home at the moment, so I can’t exactly invite you into my house for hot buttered rum.” She explained how Abby’s family was already filling up the inn and Caroline was starting to feel slightly in the way. “In fact, I’d even considered camping at my house during the holidays, although Abby keeps telling me that’s unnecessary.”
“You can always stay here at the hotel.” He arched a brow. “I hear they have plenty of rooms.”
“Thanks just the same.” She smiled and shook her head. “But I’m sticking to my guns on this.” She knew he knew what “this” meant. They’d discussed this topic via email several times already, and she’d made her position clear: She was not going to indulge in premarital sex, and that was that. They’d been there and done that before, even if it was a long time ago, and she was not going there again. Not without a marriage certificate this time. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but Caroline was not an old dog!
He nodded. “Okay. I get it.”
“Anyway, Janie is in a situation and she needs our help.” Caroline turned off the car’s engine. “Plus, Marley is having a bit of a go of it right now. And for that matter, Abby and Paul need a little support too, which is why she wanted everyone at the inn on Christmas day.”
“Are all your friends falling apart?”
“No.” She frowned at him. “They’re just having some challenges.”
“And their challenges control your life?”
“No. But they’ve stood by me in my times of need, and with my mom I had plenty of needy times.” She didn’t point out that Mitch had not been around then.
“So what’s so wrong in the world of the Four Lindas?” he asked.
“Well, this Linda is just fine, thank you.”
“Okay, the other three Lindas. What is troubling them?”
She peered curiously at him. “You really want to know?”
“Sure, why shouldn’t I?”
She started by explaining Paul and Abby’s recent marital difficulties. “Even though they kind of patched it up, Abby said she feels like they’re both walking on eggshells. With their kids all here, she just wanted some friends around to buffer things a bit. That’s why I committed to spend Christmas day with them at the inn, and I hope you’ll want to join us too.”
“Because Abby and Paul need buffers?” He frowned.
“Because they are my dear friends,” Caroline clarified. “Besides being my friends, Abby has given me a place to live, and Paul is the reason my house is being finished. And, as I mentioned, I hadn’t made any plans for Christmas day.” She controlled herself from shaking an accusatory finger at him.
“Okay, fine. But what about Christmas Eve? Are you telling me that’s written in stone too?”
“Well, yes, sort of. You see, Janie’s daughter, Lisa, just showed up in town yesterday right out of the blue.” She quickly filled him in about Lisa’s drug addi
ction problems. “As if that’s not enough, Lisa has taken a strong dislike to Victor. Janie said that the instant Lisa met him this morning, she started acting strangely.”
“What kind of person doesn’t like Victor? He’s one of the nicest guys around.”
“I know that. You know that. But I think Lisa feels threatened by him. Or she’s jealous of him, or maybe she thinks he’s trying to replace her father or something just as irrational. That’s why Janie begged me to join them for Christmas Eve tomorrow night. And it would be lovely if you wanted to come too.”
“So for Christmas, we get stuck playing buffers and counselors to a bunch of dysfunctional people.”
“That’s not very nice, Mitch. We’re talking about my friends here. Even if some of them are having a hard time, what’s the big deal? I mean don’t we all struggle sometimes? What do you think Christmas is supposed to be about anyway?”
He sighed. “I don’t know. Happy times, snuggling by a crackling fire, watching It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Caroline laughed. “Yeah, we could sit around and watch an old flick about make-believe people with make-believe problems, or we could go be with real, live people and some real, live problems.”
“Now that you put it like that …” He offered a crooked smile. “Okay, you didn’t tell me what’s wrong with your artist friend yet. Or is she okay?”
“Marley? Well, she’s a little out of sorts too.” Caroline explained about Jack and Jasmine and how Marley had been helping out, but that now Sylvia and her daughter were filling in the gap. “Jack arranged it like that so Marley could spend more time painting.” She told him about the Santa Barbara art connection.
“Hey, I’ll bet I’ve been in that gallery. Marley should be thrilled. And I’d think she’d be thankful that this other woman and her daughter are giving her a break.”
“Marley would agree with you … mostly. But she really enjoyed helping Jack and Hunter. I think she liked being needed. Now she’s worried that Sylvia might be developing a romantic interest in Jack.”
“What makes her think that?”
“Marley said Sylvia seems to be catering to his every whim. She picks up his dry cleaning and runs his errands. She brought him homemade pumpkin muffins yesterday.”
“Sylvia sounds nice.”
“Except that she’s his employee, not his wife.” Caroline scowled. “I’m a little suspicious myself. I went in there the other day, and I saw Sylvia in conversation with Jack and she was standing pretty close.”
“Standing pretty close? That’s grounds for suspicion in this town?”
“It was her body language,” Caroline tried to explain. “I can read women. I haven’t told Marley—she has enough to worry about—but I think she might be right about Sylvia.”
Mitch laughed. “Your charming Clifden is like a regular little Peyton Place.”
“Very funny.”
“So thanks to your frazzled friends, you don’t get to do what you want for Christmas.”
Caroline pressed her lips together. She wanted to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that she was doing exactly what she wanted to do for Christmas and that he could take it or leave it, but that would probably sound too harsh. After all, he’d gone to a lot of effort to be here with her. Maybe she should try harder to make him happy. Or not. At the moment, she had no response to what seemed like pure selfishness on his part.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I really should’ve given you more warning. I just thought you’d like the surprise.” He looked out to where the fog was rolling into town. “If the weather were better, I’d consider hopping back in my plane and just heading back down to—”
“No, you would not.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “We’re just talking about a couple of days, Mitch. You’re staying stateside until New Year’s, right?”
“Yeah. That’s true.”
“And”—Caroline gave him a sly smile—“I’m not busy tonight. And it is our first night back together. And it is pre-Christmas Eve. That should be worth celebrating, don’t you think?”
“You’re right.” He looked hopeful. “Any chance I could take you out?”
“Oh, I think that could be arranged.”
He leaned over and kissed her. “Sorry, I sound like such a spoiled brat. I guess I just missed you.”
She smiled. “I missed you, too!”
“And I would like to see your miraculously transformed house.” He reached over the backseat and tugged out his bag. “I still find it hard to believe you’ve made as much progress as you claim.”
“Then prepare to be amazed.”
“How about I check in at the hotel and drop off my stuff? Then you can take me over there and give me the grand tour.”
While Mitch was in the hotel, Caroline tried to figure out what was bugging him. Was he really that upset that he couldn’t have Caroline all to himself? While that was sweet, it was a little claustrophobic, too. Didn’t he understand that Caroline had been single for a long time, that she was used to coming and going and doing with friends as she pleased? Perhaps she’d gotten selfish over the years. Maybe they both had. She reminded herself that it was Christmas, and he probably did have some expectations. Maybe she wasn’t being fair to him. Maybe her Christmas plans were all wrong.
She was tempted to call Janie for advice. Of the Four Lindas, Janie seemed to disperse the soundest advice when it came to marriage and relationships. But Janie had her hands full. Caroline knew that Janie had taken Lisa shopping today. It sounded as if the poor girl showed up with nothing but the ragged clothes on her back. Janie was very anxious that one misstep might cause Lisa’s visit to blow up in her face. After inviting Caroline for Christmas Eve, Janie had asked her to pray specifically for Lisa. “Pray that she doesn’t bolt and run while we’re out shopping,” Janie had quietly told Caroline this morning.
So, while waiting for Mitch, Caroline prayed again. She prayed that Lisa would realize how dearly her mother loved her, how no one on this planet loved Lisa more than Janie. She prayed that Lisa would choose to stay here in Clifden and choose to get the help she so desperately needed, and finally that Lisa would seek out God and get healthy from the inside out. Janie had told Caroline that she was already scouting out nearby rehab places, and Caroline knew that money would be no object in getting care for Lisa. Janie would probably do anything to help her daughter. Caroline just hoped (and prayed) Lisa would accept it.
“All right,” Mitch said as he hopped back into the passenger seat. “All set.”
“Oh.” Caroline blinked and sat back.
“Napping?” he asked.
“No. Praying actually.”
He looked worried. “Uh-oh. I really must’ve stuck my foot in my mouth even more than I realized. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not about you, Mitch.” Then as she drove to her house, she explained how she’d promised to pray for Lisa. “I have a lot of empathy for Lisa. I can’t explain it, but I think it’s almost like I’d feel for a child of my own, even though I never had kids. But you know all about that.”
He sighed, then slowly nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
He and Caroline had already discussed the one and only child she’d carried—his child—and how she’d given up the chance to be a mom for him. Or so she’d thought at the time. Although Caroline had mostly resolved that pain, she still felt a pang deep inside of her at times. She thought she would’ve made a good mother.
“Anyway, Janie feels as close as a sister to me,” Caroline confessed as she turned onto her street. “So I guess I feel a special protectiveness toward Lisa.”
“Have you actually met her yet?”
“Not yet. But I’m looking forward to it. I kind of understand how it feels to be a lost girl. I mean, I never got seriously into drugs, but I was quite the party girl ba
ck in my day. Well, you probably remember. I felt pretty lost during my twenties and even into my thirties. So I feel for Lisa. And I’d like to help her if I can.” She pulled her car into the driveway.
“That might be tougher than you think, Caroline. Addiction is pretty complicated. Some people don’t want help.”
“Maybe.” She got out of the car. Unreasonable as it was, she wished she hadn’t told him about her feelings. It felt like he was just brushing it all aside—like Lisa didn’t really matter, like she wasn’t worthy of Caroline’s love. That bugged her.
“Well, it still looks pretty much the same from the outside,” he said as they stood in the driveway. The light was dusky, and she supposed the house didn’t look much different to him, although she could point out every single improvement.
“The windows are new,” she told him. “The doors, too. And I’ll get the siding replaced later on.” She didn’t mention that she was running out of funds and couldn’t afford to have the exterior completely finished until her condo sold. As they got closer to the front door, the new porch light, complete with a motion sensor, came on.
“Oh, yeah.” He made what seemed a stiff smile. “They look like good windows too. Nice.”
“Well, they’re just vinyl, but they’re a lot better than the old aluminum ones, and I’ll get a tax rebate for the energy efficiency.” She went ahead of him and unlocked the door, opening it wide for him to go in first. “There’s still a lot to do, but as you can see, it’s changed a lot too.”
He slowly walked through, taking it in, making a comment here and there. But for the most part his reaction seemed unenthusiastic to her, sort of ho-hum.
“I know it’s just a little old ranch house,” she said in a forced dismissive tone, acting like it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s not like there’s a whole lot you can do architecturally speaking. But when the it’s all together, the décor and everything—the designer says it’ll look pretty cool. Mid-Century Modern, you know.” She showed him the sample board that Bonnie had put together, explaining what would go where.
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