Was he as confused about all this as she was? “Me, too.” She didn’t move her hand from his.
He smiled and held her hand just a little tighter.
When Jake pulled into her driveway, she spotted Kyle’s red Toyota parked there. He and Shannon sat on the front steps, their heads together in conversation.
“I didn’t realize that Kyle would be here,” Andrea said as Jake turned off the car.
“Is he here a lot?” Jake asked.
Shannon shot off the step and ran toward the car, a scowl on her face. Andrea got out. “Hi, what’s up?”
“Mom, where did you and Jake go?”
“Fishing. I left you a message.”
“About Gina picking me up and you going fishing before we went to Gram’s.” Her glance swerved to Jake. “You don’t fish.”
Surprised by the anger in Shannon’s question, Andrea asked, “What’s going on with you?”
Shannon marched off toward the house without answering as Jake came around the car. “What’s gotten into her?” he asked.
Shannon had been incredibly rude, once again embarrassing Andrea. But after the past few days, she’d almost come to expect this kind of behavior. “Not sure.”
“Did something happen?” he asked, giving Kyle a cursory glance.
“That’s the way Shannon is these days—sweetness and light one minute, surly and demanding the next,” Andrea said. She glanced his way, suddenly aware of him, of their date, and wondered what the next move should be.
“I’d like to invite you in for a drink,” she said.
“I’d like to come in,” he countered.
She flushed in embarrassment. “I’m just not sure... I mean.”
“You’re worried about what your daughter will think?”
“Yes, I guess so. I don’t want to upset her.”
“But you need to have an honest conversation with her.”
“Honest conversation? That’s next to impossible when all I get from her is attitude.”
“Have you told her how you feel?”
“You mean like today? Will I tell her that she’s rude, that she shouldn’t have invited Kyle here without talking to me first? Especially when she knew I wouldn’t be here?”
He shrugged. “Do you suspect them of something?”
“Yes. No. Maybe. I am tired of being the one who has to correct Shannon’s behavior. Her father plays the good parent and I’m left to pick up the mess.” She’d had a wonderful afternoon with a good man for the first time in ages, yet now she had to deal with Shannon’s attitude. “Then people like you come along and tell me I have anger issues. You would, too, if this were your child.”
Damn! She hadn’t meant to say that. She had seen a different side to him, had relaxed her barriers against him and had felt sexy and attractive in his arms. Then she’d ruined it by criticizing him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
He turned to her, his broad shoulders shielding her from the house, a momentary reprieve from the argument she knew she would face with Shannon.
But for how long?
* * *
JAKE FELT THE distance forming between them and was disappointed. Although the drive home had been a little awkward, the afternoon had been perfect. Kissing Andrea had been in a league all of its own. He hadn’t planned to kiss her. Then again, he hadn’t expected his attraction to her to grow. And he was pretty sure she’d felt the same way.
During the afternoon he had felt connected to Andrea in a way he hadn’t felt with someone since his wife died. He’d invited Andrea to go fishing because he felt sorry for her, but once they got to the lake he’d been surprised to realize how much he enjoyed being with her, teaching her to fish. She’d been quick to catch on, too. They seemed to fit well together, to talk easily.
Talk. He shouldn’t have talked to her about serious stuff—a dumb move. Hardly the move of a man intent on enjoying the company of a beautiful woman. They were out to enjoy themselves and he’d offered her advice...on bullying, of all things. Then he topped it off with his advice on child rearing. Where did he get off talking to her like that? How could she believe his assertion he was attracted to her if he couldn’t stop trying to be her counselor?
No wonder she was annoyed with him. He would have been, too. “Look, I shouldn’t have offered my advice. I had no right to. I didn’t mean to interfere in what is going on between you and Shannon.”
She glanced away, and he realized that she was upset with him. Not wanting to embarrass himself any further, he pulled his keys from his pocket. “I had a great time, but you have to work things out with your daughter. My being here may only make that more difficult,” he said, trying for a neutral tone. He didn’t feel neutral. He wanted to go into the house with her to explain what he’d said and why he’d said it. But, once again, he wasn’t sure of his reasons, and that was the strange part. For a second time he decided he’d be better off to simply step away.
* * *
“FINE,” SHE SAID, feeling that he was leaving her to face the situation on her own. Again. Why couldn’t this man understand how she was feeling? Did he not see that she was afraid of facing her daughter alone? Was this her fate—to be attracted to men who left her to deal with the tough stuff on her own? “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon,” she said, not meaning it nearly as much as she would have a little bit ago.
“You’re welcome.” His gaze met hers as he took her hand, allowing her to believe, for a fraction of a second, that he might kiss her again. Her body flooded with warmth at the thought.
Instead, he turned away, got in his car then drove away without another word.
The hurt was so unexpected, so painful she covered her face to keep from crying. An hour ago she had been happy in his company, feeling upbeat and ready to enjoy life. Now she was fed up with life and with Jake. Disgusted, she went into the house to face her daughter. Kyle and Shannon were watching TV in the family room.
Standing at the kitchen sink, staring out at her backyard and the petunias that needed weeding, she debated what to say to Shannon. Why should she say anything? No matter what, there would be an argument, and Kyle would be there, so it was two against one. And of course Carrie was expecting them soon, to spend a pleasant evening of smiling and pretending that everything was just fine.
Would that be any different from any other time? At least Andrea would have a nice dinner prepared for her. She couldn’t fix Shannon’s attitude or Jake’s opinion of her anytime soon. And maybe she didn’t want to. Everyone expected her to find the solution, to be the parent, the adult, to put aside her own feelings. Not tonight. She deserved a little time to enjoy Carrie’s caring and warmth.
Besides, as the therapist she’d seen during the divorce had said, the only person Andrea could fix was herself. So far she’d done a really lousy job of it. “Kyle, I assume Shannon told you that she and I are going out to dinner,” she said over the sound of the TV.
“Yes, she did.” He rubbed his palms on his thighs as he peered out under his bangs at Shannon. “I’d better go.”
“Mom, don’t be rude.” Shannon turned to Kyle, rested her hands on his shoulders and hugged him.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Hope your father agrees to a cell phone,” Shannon said, loud enough for Andrea to hear.
Tired and frustrated, Andrea waited while Shannon saw Kyle out. As he pulled out of the driveway, Shannon turned on her mother. “Why can’t I have a normal life like every other teenager I know? Kyle’s my friend, and you’re being ridiculous.”
What an insulting thing for her daughter to say. But Andrea forced herself to remain calm. “Shannon, let’s sit for a minute and talk.” She indicated the kitchen table and waited until Shannon took a seat—fortunately with minimal theatrics. “You don’t seem to get it. I’m responsible for
you. The past few days have been really difficult for me. When I asked about what was going on and if I could help, you wanted more time to deal with it. But that hasn’t stopped me from worrying about whether I’m doing the right thing and whether you’ll be okay. I know this is probably not what you’d like to hear. But I am really worried about your safety. As for Kyle, he has two parents to look out for him. You have me.”
“And Dad.”
“Hopefully.” She didn’t want to talk about Scott right now. Possibly not ever again.
“What about your date with Jake? When were you going to tell me about that?” Shannon asked, her voice low, her cheeks flushed.
“It wasn’t a date. We had a few hours free and decided, on the spur of the moment, to go to the lake. He offered to teach me how to fish.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Shannon, your behavior toward Jake was uncalled for. You owe him an apology.”
Shannon chewed her lip. “Do you care about Jake?”
“I haven’t figured that part out yet.”
“Then why did you go fishing with him?”
“Because I’m tired of working all the time. I needed a break. I don’t see the harm in that.”
Shannon didn’t speak for a few moments as she continued to chew her lip, her eyes on Andrea. “I’m acting really awful, aren’t I?” she asked, putting her arms around her mother. “I don’t have a problem with Jake, Mom. I think he’s kind of cool. You deserve a life, and I’m sorry I embarrassed you. I will apologize to Jake the next time I see him.”
Surprised and delighted that Shannon was willing to apologize, she smiled at her daughter, love surging around her. “I suspect you’re behaving this way because of what’s going on with you and Kyle. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“Kyle and I are working out the stuff about my fall.”
“That’s all? You’re working things out?” she asked, focusing on not being drawn into another argument.
“You always told me that you and Dad tried to work your problems out. Why can’t I be allowed to do the same? Who knows? Maybe I’ll be better at it than you and Dad were.”
She had to admire her daughter’s logic. “It was different where your dad and I were concerned. We were married.”
“So? Kyle and I are friends, and we need time to work out our problems with a few of our classmates. We deserve that.”
“Okay, but this can’t go on forever. I will give you one more day, then I want some answers. As for your father, nothing has changed where he’s concerned. He can come here to see you when he wants to. But you’re not his au pair.”
“I think you’re jealous of Dad’s happiness and you won’t admit it.”
Shocked, she stared at her daughter. “Where did you get a notion like that?”
“Because you’re always trying to keep me away from Dad.”
“That’s not true.”
“I want to go and stay with them. I want to get to know my little sisters. Dad wants to see me, to include me in his family.”
She was tired of taking the blame, and Shannon was old enough to face the consequences. It might mean that they were late for dinner at Carrie’s, but this simply could not continue. “Why don’t you call your father right now? Tell him that you’ll come for a three-day weekend. This Friday is development day at school, so you won’t miss classes. And while you’re talking to him, make plans for this summer’s vacation.”
Shannon’s face brightened. “Mom, that sounds great. I could go on the Thursday night and come back on Sunday night in time for school on Monday.”
Andrea realized her daughter really did want to visit her father—this wasn’t a scheme to get back at Andrea or avoid whatever was happening at school. While she was relieved to see some evidence that Shannon wasn’t lying, Andrea felt sorry for her. Shannon would be so disappointed when she tried to get a commitment from her dad. But she to face up to reality, not the fantasy world she insisted on building around her father. “Call him now.”
Shannon jumped up. “Sure. They had a room ready for me and everything. I can’t wait,” she said, charging down the hall to her bedroom.
Andrea waited, hoping she was wrong about Scott, that for once in his life he’d put someone else’s needs ahead of his own. Regardless of how she might feel about him, Shannon had clearly decided she needed to see him, and that was all that mattered.
Watching the minutes tick by, Andrea had decided to check on Shannon when she appeared, her face blotchy and red.
Andrea saw the quivering lips, the agony on her face, and gathered her daughter into her arms. “Are you okay?” she asked, stroking her hair, holding her close.
Shannon erupted in sobs as she clung to her mother. “Dad doesn’t think—Dad says it’s not—He doesn’t want me there for a weekend! He wanted me there for a couple of weeks so that he and Cindy can go out and do things by themselves. I’d have to miss school. I can’t do that right now.”
Scott had denied Shannon a weekend visit because he was angry. It confirmed what she already knew about Scott. He didn’t really want his daughter with him; he wanted to put conditions on their relationship, take control by denying Shannon’s request. Shannon was hurt and sad. And because she needed her father in her life, the next time Scott called Shannon would do whatever he asked out of fear of losing him completely. “I’m so sorry.”
Over loud, gusty sobs, Shannon blurted, “Cindy doesn’t think it’s a good time, and Daddy doesn’t want to upset her. She didn’t do well in some silly golf tournament and she’s upset about it. I asked him when would be a good time, and he said he’d have to get back to me.”
So now he was blaming his new wife for his lack of interest in Shannon. Why did that not surprise her?
Shannon wiped her cheeks and moved out of her mother’s embrace, making her way to the table. “What am I going to do? I made them mad by not going when he said, and now Cindy doesn’t want me there.”
She had no advice for her daughter that wouldn’t put Scott in a bad light, and as much as he deserved it, Andrea couldn’t hurt Shannon any more today.
“Would you talk to Dad, get him to reconsider? Maybe I could go a couple of days next week. And I guess I could babysit for Cindy.”
“I don’t think your father will listen to me. Besides, it’s not a good idea for you to miss school right now. You want to get your grades back up.” All true, but those words would do nothing to soothe her daughter’s hurt at the moment. “How about this? When the school year is over, we’ll take a vacation to Phoenix together and you could visit with your dad for a few days. After you’ve seen him and his family, you and I will travel around the state.”
“Would you really do that, Mom?” she asked, her voice filled with gratitude as she smoothed away the tears on her cheeks.
“I’d do just about anything for you, sweetie.”
“Anything?” Shannon smiled. “Okay. Get out of those fishing clothes, Mom. We’re going to be late for Gram’s dinner.”
Was it all over so easily? Maybe for now; and now was all that mattered. “I’ll be ready before you are.”
Her mother lived in an older neighborhood in town, surrounded by woodlands and facing a small lake. Frank Lloyd Wright had designed her mother’s house nestled in among tall pines and spreading junipers. Carrie’s father, also a painter, had known the architect, a fact Carrie loved to tell anyone who would listen.
As they pulled into the driveway, Shannon cried, “There’s Grammy. And she’s got a puppy!” Shannon was out of the car before it was completely stopped, her feet skidding on the gravel as she made her way across the space. She knelt and gathered the puppy into her arms.
Carrie, her ankle-length purple dress swirling around her, laughed and clapped her hands. “Come here, darling child.”
S
hannon, with the dog trailing behind her, came over to Carrie. “I love your dog.”
“Thank you,” she said, hugging Shannon while she rocked her back and forth, the pup yipping at their feet.
A dog. What was her mother going to do with a dog?
Remember your promise to yourself? You’re going to enjoy your evening. Carrie’s problems aren’t yours.
“It’s a chocolate Labrador, right?” Shannon said, untangling herself from the hug.
“Yep. A male, because they make better watchdogs.”
“What’s his name?”
“I thought you could name him,” Carrie answered, crouching to pat the puppy with Shannon. The dog licked first Shannon’s face and then Carrie’s, all the while emitting whines of happiness.
As Carrie rose, stretching out her arms to Andrea, there was a look of such profound loneliness in her eyes that Andrea could hardly believe what she was seeing. Carrie had never been one to succumb to loneliness or admit to missing anyone. Her mother had always been so strong and determined to live her life her way. And yet, at this moment, Andrea could have sworn that her mother had doubts...fears.
“Darling, I’m so glad to see you.”
“Me, too,” Andrea said, walking into her mother’s arms, feeling the strength of her touch, responding to her warmth and love. The scent of L’Air du Temps—her mother’s signature perfume—settled over her.
For the first time since she’d married and left Carrie’s house, Andrea wanted only one thing—that Carrie would stick around and be part of their lives.
“I’ve got dinner ready if you’d like to eat now,” Carrie murmured, patting Andrea’s cheek so gently, so slowly and with so much feeling, Andrea was forced to turn away before she broke down and cried.
“What’s going on?” she asked after composing herself.
Carrie didn’t answer, instead starting toward the house, her long skirt outlining her legs as she walked. “Let’s eat, then Shannon can name the puppy.”
“I’ve already done that,” Shannon said, hefting the puppy up on her shoulder to be rewarded with a slew of dog kisses. “I’m calling him Butch Cassidy, after Mom’s favorite character in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Don’t know why she likes such an old movie.” She ducked another onslaught of doggy kisses. “But there’s no explaining the tastes of old folks.”
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