by Dawn Brower
Ren frowned as she walked in with Brian. Were they seeing each other? He’d thought they were friends, but he could be wrong. Jealousy welled up inside of him. He clenched his fists at his side. He would not make a scene. If Brian was the one Dani wanted, he wouldn’t get in her way. He had a girlfriend, and he shouldn’t be mooning over his best friend. She would be the first to tell him that.
“Come on, let’s dance.” Jessica pulled him toward the dance floor.
He allowed it and did the best he could to pretend Dani wasn’t staring at another boy. He wanted her, always had. It hurt to watch her with someone else, especially since she’d never seemed interested in someone else. She didn’t date, said it was a waste of her time. She had plans and a boyfriend would deter them. Dani worked hard at everything so she could leave their small town behind and never look back. Had she changed her mind? Did she consider dating an option now? Maybe he could finally convince her they should be more than friends. He gulped back the lump in his throat and glanced down at Jessica. She seemed so happy and carefree. The strands of music ended and everyone broke apart. Ren didn’t want to dance any longer. He had to find Dani. It was an impulse he couldn’t resist. She was on the other side of the room laughing with Brian. He headed toward them, Jessica close behind.
“I see you made it inside,” he said.
Dani smiled. “Did you think I’d get lost?”
He pasted a happy expression on his face. She didn’t need to know he’d worried. “Of course not.”
“They have some awful punch and snacks set out.” Brian gestured toward a table nearby. “I damn near spit the crap out. I barely managed to swallow it, and choked it down. Dani thought it was hilarious.”
“Oh, come on.” She laughed again. “It couldn’t be that bad.”
Ren gritted his teeth together. He had to do something to stop this...whatever it was between Brian and Dani. He couldn’t take it. It was time to stop fooling himself. He wanted to step back and let her be happy with someone else, but in reality it was impossible. The strands of a slow song started to fill his ears. He held his hand out to his best friend. “Come dance with me.”
She nodded and placed her hand in his. “Oh yes, please, I love this song.”
He didn’t stop to look at anyone. His gaze was locked firmly on Dani’s face. He didn’t care if Brian was mad he’d usurped his time with her. Jessica knew Dani was his best friend. This wasn’t the first time they’d danced, and she’d understand. Well, as much as any girl would he supposed. Ren couldn’t make himself care. This was what he wanted and the rest of them be damned. He glanced across the room and noticed there were a lot of people dancing with someone they’d not arrived with. It was perfectly normal for him to enjoy a dance with someone other than Jessica. It was high school and prom was supposed to be fun—a memory they’d keep forever.
Let me love you... He wanted to say that to her. The song wasn’t a perfect fit. But he wanted to say some of those very words to her. She deserved to be cherished. They swayed to the music. She glanced up at him and stole his breath. For a moment, he could pretend they were together and had a future together. He wanted to give her everything, show her the way love was supposed to be. He wanted to hold her as more than a friend.
The music ended and they stood there, staring at each other. Everything else ceased to exist. It was just the two of them locked in beautiful moment he wanted to burn in his memory. Her full sultry lips tilted into a brilliant smile, and her gaze radiated happiness. It left him with a warm and fuzzy glow spreading through his whole body. Until the spell was broken by his actual girlfriend—Jessica always did have the worst timing.
“It’s my turn,” Jessica demanded and pushed Dani aside.
For a brief moment, everything had been so perfect. The smile on Dani’s face fell before she turned to head off the dance floor. He reached for her, but Jessica demanded his attention. Dani was all the way across the room before he could do anything to stop her. The dance had been worth every second of the clinginess he was about to endure from his girlfriend. She said she understood his friendship with Dani, but if he paid any amount of attention to her, Jessica ultimately became jealous.
He understood it, even as it irritated him. He couldn’t blame her. They were dating, but he wouldn’t stop being Dani’s friend, even if it tore at him in every possible way. Ren glanced across the room and located Dani. He couldn’t go after her to see what was wrong, at least not yet. He would later when he could shake Jessica for a few minutes.
“Finally,” Jessica complained. “I thought that song would never end. I don’t know why you feel as if you need to placate her.”
Ren clenched his hand into a fist at his side and reminded himself Jessica didn’t understand. She didn’t realize he loved Dani in a way he could never love her. It was time to break up with her. Not at the dance, but definitely before graduation in a couple weeks. He’d tell Dani how much he loved her. It was time to man up and own his feelings.
DANI PUSHED HER WAY into the girl’s restroom and sighed in relief when she found it empty. She needed a breather from the hot dance floor and Jessica’s glaring eyes. Every time she looked over at Ren, she would meet Jessica’s gaze. The girl had every right to hate her. Ren tended to drop everything if Dani needed him for any reason. That’s what friends did for each other. Dani didn’t want to make him stop either, and yes, she depended on him. He was the only one she let get even remotely close to her.
She loved him.
The dance had been perfect. For a small moment in time she could pretend they were more than friends. That she allowed him to be hers in every way she wanted him to be. It had all come to a screeching halt when Jessica stormed over to them at the end. The spell had been broken and she had to go back to being his best friend.
Dani headed over to the sink, turned it on, allowing the cool water to run over her fingers. She splashed a little on her heated cheeks. It felt amazing washing over her warm skin. She turned the water off, grabbed a paper towel to dry her hands, and then tossed it in a nearby trash can. It was time to go back to the dance and pretend everything was all right.
“I saw you come in here, and I think it’s time you and I have a little talk.”
Dani spun around and met Jessica’s gaze. She wanted to groan, but repressed it. At some point she should have known Jessica would confront her. She always did. Ren’s girlfriend would spout out her demands to leave him alone and then drive home the final point—she was his girlfriend, not Dani. As if Dani needed the reminder. Maybe she did on some level. She hated sharing him. It grated on her in so many ways. She made her choices though, and now had the pleasure of living with them. Dani grimaced as she swallowed down that bitter pill. Pleasure? It was far from it.
“I think you’ve said everything you need to say to me.” Dani turned away from her. “You say it so often I could repeat it verbatim.”
“No. I haven’t said all there is to say.” Jessica pushed Dani’s shoulder. “Look at me.”
Dani rolled her eyes and turned back to Jessica. What did she want now? Did she really feel the need to mark her territory again? And yeah, in Jessica’s mind Ren was hers to mark. He couldn’t be friends with Dani while he dated her. Yes, Dani loved him, but she never made a move on him. She kept things strictly platonic. That was the whole meaning of friendship after all. Anything else would muddy the waters, and she could lose what little she did have with him forever. It was why she insisted at the beginning they be just friends. Friendships lasted far longer than any other relationship.
“What do you want?” Dani folded her arms across her chest. “I would like to get back to the dance.”
“Why?” She raised an eyebrow. “So you can insinuate yourself further into Ren’s life?”
She wasn’t having this argument with Jessica. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that Ren and I are friends.” She glared at her. The more Jessica said the more pissed off she was becoming. She got it.
Honestly she did, but she was sick of listening to it. Nothing she said to Jessica would make her feel better. “There is nothing other than that going on between us.”
“I have eyes, you know.” Jessica took a step closer. “I can see how you look at him. I know you want to be more than friends. I’m not going to stand here and let you come between us. I’m done with you and your neediness.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.” Dani sighed and shook her head. “I’m not going to stop being Ren’s friend to make you feel secure in your relationship.” She couldn’t imagine a life without Ren in it. He was the one person she could always depend on when everything seemed to be falling apart. Every one needed at least one person they could rely on. For Dani, it had always been Ren.
“Do you even know how he really feels about you?” Jessica sneered and took a step closer to Dani. There was barely any room between them as she angrily retorted, “Because let me tell you, he’s not as happy as he seems when having to constantly run whenever you need him.”
She was lying. Ren wouldn’t talk badly about her. Would he? He always seemed happy to help her. He was the one who’d talked her into going to prom. It was his idea for them all to come together. Jessica was pissed because Ren danced with her. That was all this was about, and she wouldn’t let her get to her. “Ren is a big boy. He can make decisions for himself. He doesn’t need you to fight his battles for him.” If he was annoyed with Dani for any reason, he’d tell her himself. It’d never stopped him in the past. Ren was the most vocal person she knew.
Jessica lifted her hands and pushed Dani hard, taking her by surprise. Pain shot through her backside as it met the floor with a hard thump. She wanted to jump to her feet and punch Jessica’s perfect face, but it wouldn’t do any good. The girl wanted to fight. Dani wouldn’t humor her. Ren would be in the middle of it all, and Dani wanted to do what was best for her friend. Fighting with his girlfriend wasn’t going to make things easier on any of them. She took a deep breath and prepared to reason with the girl. “Go back to the dance.” Dani said calmly. “I don’t want to do this with you.”
“Too bad. It’s time we settled things once and for all. I’m tired of you getting in the middle of my relationship. School is almost over, and Ren and I have plans. They don’t include you.”
Dani knew what Ren’s plans were. Where he was going to college, what medical school he hoped to get into, and his need to help others. Jessica should know he would share that with her. “I don’t have time for your histrionics.” Dani got to her feet and brushed down her skirt. “I won’t mention any of this to Ren.” She walked past Jessica and headed to the exit.
“Not so fast.” Jessica grabbed her arm preventing her from leaving. “I’m not done. You don’t leave until I have my say.”
She gritted her teeth together. Jessica was so damn demanding. Dani couldn’t believe she called her the needy one. The girl insisted on getting her way far too often. This was the last time she gave in and conceded. “You always have something you have to say. What is it this time?” Dani raised an eyebrow mockingly. “Ren actually hates me? He only puts up with me out of a habit? I’ve heard it all from you. What makes this any different?”
Jessica raised her hand and slapped her. The sting spread across her cheek in tiny pinpricks. Dani rubbed her hand over her face and glared at the other girl. “I’m done with you. Don’t corner me again. If you leave me alone, I’ll do the same.”
“No. I’m not going to step aside and let you ruin my relationship with him. I’m tired of him always running to do something for you. Find your own boyfriend. Ren is mine.”
Dani stepped close to Jessica and stared into her eyes. “Ren is my friend. Get used to it. I will always be a part of his life.” Even when it hurt too much to be around him... It was the path she chose. “Now I’m going to go back to the dance and try to enjoy what’s left of it. I’ll do you a solid and not mention this to Ren because I’m not the vindictive bitch you seem to think I am.”
Dani turned to leave once again but stopped short when she heard Jessica say, “I’m pregnant.”
Dani closed her eyes as her words washed over her. They froze her heart. Any hope she’d thought she had with Ren evaporated. He would never abandon Jessica and his child. She turned toward Jessica. Tears were falling down her cheeks. She was fighting to hold onto Ren. It didn’t matter how Dani felt about the girl. She was going to have Ren’s baby. There was only one decision she could make.
“Does Ren know?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t told him yet.”
“Why are you telling me?” She should be having this conversation with Ren. “You should tell him.” What game was Jessica playing? There had to be a reason she was dropping this particular bomb on Dani.
“I want you to leave us alone. We don’t stand a chance with you constantly around us. We deserve to have the best possible start. Our child needs both parents to be completely devoted to it.”
She was right. Dani knew it. She was done fighting fate. Ren couldn’t even be her friend anymore. He wouldn’t be solely focused on his family if he was always hanging around with her. If she needed him, he’d come running. For his sake, and his child’s, she would have to disappear and allow him the chance to be happy.
She nodded. “You win. You have until graduation to tell Ren. If you don’t, I will.” Dani turned and left the room. The roles had reversed, and now she was the one fighting tears. She’d lost something significant to her, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. She left the dance and walked the entire way home. It gave her time to work out what had to be done. There wasn’t much of a choice left. She had to leave, and the sooner the better.
REN NEVER GOT THE CHANCE to tell Dani he loved her. She ran away before graduation. He’d been blindsided by her choice, and beyond pissed off. What had he ever done to her to deserve such little regard? He searched for her. She’d hidden herself too well. If she really didn’t want him in her life any longer, he’d respect her wishes. Ren always did what Dani wanted. Probably always would. They’d set that pattern up early on in their relationship. “Friends forever,” she’d said. How wrong she’d been; how pitiful he was. He’d been a fool to believe they could have anything...
“Damn you, Dani,” he shouted. Tears fell from his eyes. How was he supposed to let her go? She’d been a part of his life for as long as he could remember. Now he was alone. A piece of him would always be missing without her in his life. What if he never loved again? He doubted he truly could. He only had one heart to give—and Dani owned it. She left him with a hole in his chest and nothing to fill the void.
Jessica had become more attentive. He’d allowed her to somewhat fill what was missing, even though a part of him screamed in protest. What else was he to do? There wasn’t much choice left to him. Dani had taken all of them away. He wanted to hate her for it, and maybe he even did on a small level. One day maybe they would see each other again, and he’d be able to ask her why. Until then he was left with so many questions, and absolutely no answers.
He always came back to one thing. Why. Why had she left? He should have known something was wrong. She’d been so weird at prom—after they danced. He’d meant to ask her what was bothering her, but she’d disappeared before it ended. Brian had been no help, when he’d asked him about Dani. No one had seen her or noticed when she’d left. The next day she’d been gone. All her foster parents were able to tell him was she had decided to leave for college early.
So much for confessing he’d love her forever.
He was a damned idiot. The biggest and most moronic fool alive—how could he have believed he could have it all? Some things were not meant to be. Sadly he couldn’t do anything to change the feelings rolling through his heart. He’d always love her, nothing, and no one would ever change that. His heart would be hers, and anyone else who came into his life wouldn’t compare.
No, this couldn’t be the end. He wouldn’t accept that. Som
eday, he promised himself, if he found Dani again he’d make sure she stayed around long enough to realize what she meant to him. What they’d lost by her actions. It was the only thing he could hold onto. When he saw her again, and he fully believed he would, there would be nothing to stand in his way—even Dani herself.
“One day, Dani, love.” He stared up at the sky. “I will find you, and if we’re both lucky enough we will find a way to be together.” Ren rubbed his chest trying to erase the ache that filled his heart. “Nothing will be the same until that day, but I promise we can make it right if we fight hard enough.”
She was worth fighting for. The best things in life were. It might just take longer than he’d like to make his promise a reality. As time went by, he’d do everything in his power to hold on to hope. It was the only thing he had left. If he lost it, then all would be lost. There would never be a Dani and Ren. There would be nothingness.
“I’ll do my best,” he whispered. “But I’m far from perfect.”
And there was Jessica. She wanted more than he’d been willing to give. It was a temptation he was finding harder and harder to resist. In time he was afraid he’d give in. Life had a funny way of throwing a wrench in even the best laid plans. There was no telling what his future had in store for him, but he had hopes, dreams, and wishes he hoped to one day see fulfilled. Dani was one part of that bigger picture. If he couldn’t have her, at least he could have the rest. He’d work hard and achieve what he could. Maybe, somewhere along the way, he’d discover that he could live without her.