Metanoia
A novel
by Angela Schiavone
For my friends and family, especially my parents. I love you all.
For an old friend, Brian Demps, whom I hope has found his paradise.
For anyone who has ever believed in something more.
Keep believing.
Metanoia
Angela Schiavone
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 Angela Schiavone
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Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
No reproduction of this work can be made in any form without written permission of the author. She can be contacted at [email protected].
Metanoia is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental.
Other works by Angela Schiavone are available at writtenbyangela.t35.com.
Chapters
Need for Escape
Nythagié
Becoming the Memory
Trials of the Heart
The First Test
Familiar Faces
A Nightmare Realized
Torch-her Torture
Burning
Nythagie’s Black Rose
One Chance
Killer’s Playground
The Phoenix
Secrets Revealed
Athena
One Last Breath
-About The Author-
Chapter 1
“Need For Escape”
It is one of the worst feelings to be lost in your own mind. To not be able to understand what you are thinking or feeling, to be as confused as Gina now felt. She was not meant to be here. This was everything she had always wanted; ironically now it ended up being what she dreaded… or did she want this? Would she have wanted to go through life daydreaming about this but never knowing what she imagined could be true? Was true? She didn’t know it would be this complicated – that so much would be at stake.
Gina Cassidy had a normal eighteen-year-old teenager’s life when everything changed. A life of homework, tests, projects, annoying teachers, and caring friends turned into chaos, responsibility, confusion, evil, and fear. Of course, Gina had positive experiences, but now, in the isolation of her bedroom, only pessimistic emotions surfaced. It had just barely been two months ago when her adventure began, but to Gina centuries had passed. It was at that critical time that Gina started down a life-altering road that she could never turn back from. Ironically, it had begun in the place Gina hated most.
Gina slouched in her chair while adding to the continuing display of wizards, fairies, and magical creatures now completely overtaking her notes. She was in Chemistry class, which, to her, was the most dreadful of all subjects. One can surely not experience absolute and complete boredom until that individual has experienced the pain and agony of listening to a Chemistry lecture. This was the unfortunate torture Gina now had to submit herself to. Second period – that was all. If this torment was any sample of the day to come, then Gina thought she would surely not live through it. She sighed and continued to draw as she stared blankly at her notes. She fingered the piece of pink lace around her neck with an intricate jewel at the front. The necklace had been given by a kind stranger when Gina was only 5 years old. She still remembered the man’s wise, but loving, gaze. Gina would never forget that look of love. It was something she was not used to, and she wore it to remind herself of the parental love that she must have once had. She just couldn’t be Gina without it.
Gina Cassidy had brown curls, which hung to just below her shoulders. On a good hair day, she sometimes had a shimmer of gold in each strand as well. Her brown eyes matched her hair perfectly though she often longed for blue or hazel like her friends.
These dark eyes now spun around, taking in the room which had imprisoned her all quarter. From her desk against the far right wall, she could see the front of the room pretty well. The door was on the same wall as she and about five feet away. The teacher’s desk stood on a tile platform in the center of the room in plain sight of the door and the hallway it led into. The actual desks the students sat in rows on platforms in front of the main desk and were set up like stairs to the back of the room. They stretched all the way from the left window-filled wall to Gina’s side which displayed the Periodic Table poster.
Gina glanced down at her solid, second-hand, navy skirt and started to tug it down, attempting to make it longer to match uniform code. She knew she tried in vain, though, luckily, she had yet to ever been written up for a uniform violation. Giving in, she moved on to her matching sweater-vest and picked off bits of lint before moving on to straightening her tie which never hung correctly. Some of her fellow students always looked so put together, but Gina had never been so lucky.
“Regina!” Gina quickly looked up to see her teacher, Mrs. Spencer, glaring down at her. She quickly wondered how long her teacher had been trying to get her attention. Mrs. Spencer was definitely a unique character. Her voice was so nasally and droll that it was no wonder that Gina could not keep her attention on gases and solids. She never put stress on any syllable but instead spoke every word, exciting or terrifying, in a monotone voice. This became an issue when she would warn her students not to mix two certain chemicals together due to dire consequences, for it sounded the same way as her greeting when she passed you in the hallway. Her face never moved a muscle (even when croaky words escaped her lips) though it was always apparent as to her mood. Though, her “good” mood was never very happy. Actually, her body itself didn’t move but rather dragged itself around like a slug.
“Well? Do you know what the process is called when a solid turns straight into a vapor?” she asked impatiently.
“Uh? Oh, umm, it’s…” Gina searched her brain but nowhere was there a trace of this answer. This was evident to Mrs. Spencer who let out a big, frustrated sigh and turned to another student in the front row, a girl with dyed blond hair outlining her tan and flawless face complete with baby blue eyes.
“Carolina? Do you know the answer?” Mrs. Spencer asked.
“Of course,” Carolina began pompously, very much aware that she now had the attention of the class (including the hot boys in the back row). With an intentional flip of her hair, she replied, “It is sublimation.”
“Excellent, Carolina. You are absolutely correct.” She turned her attention to Gina who in return tried to sink as low as possible in her desk to avoid Mrs. Spencer’s evil glare. She fingered the scar on her arm to have an excuse not to look at her. She couldn’t remember how she’d gotten it, and it had always provided a mystery to ponder upon. She would tell people she’d gotten it from a risky adventure in which she saved someone’s life, or fought the bad guy. They usually just smiled and nodded. She was used to that reaction.
Mrs. Spencer again spoke, seeing that Gina was attempting to avoid her. “You’d do well to actually pay attention in my class, Regina, or you’ll pay for it with your grade which is low already if I am not mistaken.”
It was the perfect start to another boring and excruciating day.
“Gina! Hey, wait up!” Gina turned to see her friend, Jessica Breneman, running up to her. Gina couldn’t help but smile as she waited for her friend to clumsily catch up. Her backpack bounced gracelessly against her ba
ck giving her that awkward look that is always associated with running while wearing a hindering backpack. This did not faze Jessica as she ran full speed at Gina.
“How was Chem today?” Jessica asked as she arrived, panting.
“Painful. I was totally zoning and completely blanked when Mrs. Spencer asked me a question. She then proceeded to tell the whole class that my grade was low. I swear she hates me,” Gina sighed.
“Yeah, she hates me too, but it’s okay. I’ve learned to live with it. Not having my teacher’s affection, oh God, I think I’ll survive.” She giggled and pushed back her blond hair. As always, Gina noticed that her hair seemed to shimmer as she did so, making Gina finger her own golden brown locks longingly. Jessica had beautiful hazel eyes, which always showed kindness and warmth. She was there for Gina through thick and thin. Gina didn’t know what she’d do without her.
“By the way, how’s Cassie?” Jessica asked as they walked down the halls of Phoenix High. “I haven’t had a chance to call her recently.” Cassie McCormack was a close friend of theirs who only the year before had transferred schools. Gina found it especially hard this year with Cassie gone. She had to face the dark and gloomy halls under the evil eyes of her bloodcurdling teachers without the warming comfort of her friend. Gina sometimes thought she saw Cassie walking through the halls, her dark curly hair tied up, her brown eyes glowing, and her hazelnut skin shining. They missed her smiling face everyday.
“She’s fine. You know, it’s so unfair. We get the privilege to do projects on science and math and she gets to do one on mythology!”
“Right up your alley, huh? Please tell me you didn’t bring it,” she pleaded glancing nervously at Gina’s backpack. Gina smiled and pulled out her cherished mythology book.
“Sure did!” Gina exclaimed as Jessica moaned. Gina had brought this same book to school everyday for the past week and the week before that she had had another on medieval jousting. She just couldn’t get enough of the worlds outside of her own time and place.
“You’ll read that all during lunch and won’t even talk to us! These days I’d have to dress up like a princess or a wizard so that you’ll notice me during what is supposed to be our time to socialize.”
“Actually you’d need to get a hot boy to dress up like a knight,” Gina responded, smiling. She couldn’t help it. Those stories were the only things she had to maintain her sanity.
“Oh, great. Civics test now, huh?” Jessica muttered. Gina stopped dead in her tracks.
“Civics test? What Civics test?”
“The one Mr. Morgan told us about last week.”
“That’s today?! Aww, man, I totally forgot.” Gina dropped her bag and almost ripped it open to get to her notes for a quick study period before stepping into the classroom. As a result, the bag’s contents splashed onto the floor with Gina scrambling to gather them. Jessica laughed at her friend making quite a spectacle of herself. Even a man visiting the school with the principle slowed his pace to stare at her.
“Gina, don’t worry about it. You’ll do fine. I mean when have you ever got lower than a B+ in Civics? Now me, that’s another story.” She glanced sideways at Gina who was still fumbling through her notes.
“Yeah, right. Is the Preamble stuff in the test?”
“Dude, that was two units ago…”
“Great.” Gina grabbed her bag irritably and ran into the classroom.
Gina stared anxiously at the clock. Five minutes to go until freedom. Five minutes until she would be able to read in the relaxing company of her friends. Five minutes until the lunch bell would ring. Five minutes was way too long. Gina swore that the clock stopped every other second just to keep her in her desk a little while longer; to keep her in the torture chamber for an extended visit. Each mark of the pencil, each shift in the chair, each crinkle of the paper, each sigh, each cough was slowly driving Gina insane. She looked at the clock again. Only one minute had passed since she had turned in her test. She glanced over at Jessica who had fallen asleep on her desk. She had finished early too. Gina sighed and took the time to study the rest of the room. She quickly noticed that many had followed Jessica’s example and had tried to use the extra time to catch up on some much needed sleep. Another student next to her was even beginning to drool a little. Suddenly the bell rang; her moment of freedom had come. Grabbing both her bag and Jessica, who had awoken with a start, Gina ran out of the classroom, out of the hall, and into the brilliant sunshine of the courtyard. Lunch was finally here. Hurriedly, Gina sat down with her group of friends and yanked out her book, her treasure.
“You’re insane, Gina. I swear you and that book should get married,” Jessica moaned.
“Maybe we should. There aren’t any other perspectives on the list yet,” Gina replied.
“Because unless he’s ‘prince charming,’ you won’t give him the time of day,” April laughed. She put on her red sunglasses that closely matched the color of her short hair, covering her green eyes, and leaned back on her bag. April Welsh was the one who completed the friendship, now a triangle since they had lost their fourth point. April never had had much trouble when it came to guys. This feisty red-head seemed to attract boys left and right, but she was never that into their attention except for one. She had had a steady boyfriend for as long as Gina could remember, and she still had a line of guys interested. Her main care, however, was for her friends, and she was the first to listen to a problem. Gina had always envied her even though she had attracted a good many boys herself and yet, she indeed never gave one of them the time of day. It wasn’t necessarily that the boys weren’t good enough for her, for Gina knew in her heart that she was terrified of committing to any relationship. She was beginning to feel that she couldn’t love at all. Besides the boys were just that – boys. Gina took a break from her book to look up at April.
“How’s Hayden?” she asked.
“Oh, well…uh…we sort of broke up last night.”
“What?!” Jessica and Gina shouted in unison.
“Yeah. Well, I broke up with him. Not too keen on commitment, you know,” she replied calmly.
“I’m the queen of no commitment, not you,” Gina exclaimed.
“Oh, well, I guess it’s contagious. Besides, he dyed his hair bright blue… couldn’t take it… Hey, umm, we should do something fun tomorrow, girls. Go to the movies or something. It’s Friday after all, and we need some excitement in this life.”
“Are you okay?” Gina asked. Jessica leaned in as if to ask the same question silently.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” April responded untruthfully. “Really, don’t worry. Like I said: we need some excitement.”
Gina decided to take the hint and return the conversation to normal. Pain to April by bringing up painful thoughts of the events that Jessica and she were not being let in on was the last thing they all wanted. Instead, she continued, “You can say that again. We do. We got to do something new though because we are quickly running out of ideas.”
Gina took the public bus home from school that day. She had a lot of homework to do and knew the day could only get longer. After five stops, the bus finally stopped in front of an old burger place that had been shut down years ago. Gina gathered her bag and belongings and stepped off the bus. She sighed as she beheld the same dark sight that she saw everyday. The burger joint was a palace compared to the rest of the neighborhood. The old streets had garbage shoved against the curbs, and shopping carts filled with trash sat here and there, a few turned over. Gina could see a few balls of sleeping bags and knew very well what it meant. Homeless people were once again living in their streets. She quickly walked past decrepit buildings to her own apartment complex, passed a man with a sign that read “Why lie, I want a beer,” and up to the front door. The screams and crying and hollering had already begun upstairs. She quickly unlocked the door and went into the dark hall. Wallpaper had been falling off the walls for centuries, and dead plants, sitting in corners here and there, had long ago dropped th
eir leaves all over the broken-tiled floor.
“Mr. Smooter, you’re rent is overdue, pay up!” the landlady, Ms. Stern was screaming at a tenant who stood in his doorway.
“I just need a little longer! My check hasn’t come in yet!” he bellowed back. “We’re not made out of money, you know! It doesn’t grow on trees!”
“That’s not true!” Mr. Smooter’s four-year-old son, Henry, appeared in the door. “Charlie told me that money is made of paper and paper comes from trees! Just like apples.”
“Shut up,” Mr. Smooter mumbled. Gina continued past their argument and to her own door. She opened the door quickly and shut it behind her. Through the peephole, she could see Henry kick Ms. Stern in the shins as he passed by his father to run outside.
Gina threw her book-bag and keys by the door and looked around her apartment. Similar to the hall, her own space had peeling wallpaper, but Gina had tried to make the best of it. She’d put bright colored pillows on her second-hand couch and covered its many stains with a pastel towel that she’d placed across the cushions. In fact, she’d tried to freshen the whole area with brightly colored odds and ends (most that had some sort of fantasy element to them), all from second-hand stores. She had told her friends that she lived on her own, but they had no idea as to the condition of living. Gina had made it into a big deal that she was independent, without anyone else’s guidance. Really, dependence on a true family was all she really wanted. Gina had been an orphan for as long as she could remember. She traveled from one foster family to the next and had hated every minute of it. So, when she turned eighteen, she was more than happy to move away from her fake families for good. That’s not to say that Gina had never searched for some relatives, no matter how distant, but it just seemed like life had denied her a family.
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