by Emery Jacobs
“Open your eyes, Henley,” he moans.
Without any hesitation, I do as he says. His dark eyes stare back—full of so much desire. He pushes harder until he’s buried deep inside of me. My body tenses for a second until I adjust to his size.
“Hold on tight.” The three words fall from his mouth as he rocks into me with more force. I wrap my legs around his waist and grab his ass.
His movement changes from thrusting in and out to rocking forward and back. He’s moving fast and hard. The base of his shaft massaging my clit, over and over again, until my toes curl, my fingernails dig into his skin, and my mouth craves his taste.
Caleb exhales with a deep moan escaping his chest and I’m gone. The tingling starts at my toes, races up my legs, and stops between my legs. As my breath catches, I slide my hands up his back and wrap them around his neck. I press into his ass with my heels. And fuck—I still need him closer. My orgasm builds stronger—more forceful than anything I’ve ever felt before.
With my adrenaline pumping, I’m strong and needy. Chasing the feeling that I can’t seem to catch. So I use all of my power to roll Caleb over onto his back. I put my hands on his shoulders and rest my forehead to his.
“Are you gonna come for me, baby?” he whispers. His voice is gravelly. Sexy. Enough to give me the push I need.
“Oh, God, yes! Caleb!”
Without any hesitancy, I move my hips to meet his thrusts. Then I’m falling into some unknown place where the level of intensity of my orgasm keeps climbing and climbing until I can’t breathe.
I mumble a string of unintelligible words before the feeling that took over my body only moments ago begins to trickle away. Slowly bringing me back to reality.
Caleb grasps my hips—his fingers pressing deep into my skin.
“Don’t move. Let me do all the work,” he breathes.
His rhythm becomes quicker as he lifts his hips and thrusts into me. Each movement with more force. Each thrust with a purpose. Until he reaches his release.
“Fuuuck!” he grunts and his body tenses.
My hips meet his rhythm, and I take in his every movement until he’s completely spent.
I press my lips to his forehead slightly before rolling off him. Caleb removes the condom, ties the end in a knot, and tosses it toward the small trashcan between the bed and nightstand. Wow. He did that like a pro. Definitely not his first, second, or third time. The awful fear of inadequacy becomes my reality. So it’s probably best if I leave now to avoid any more embarrassment.
Caleb grabs my waist and pulls my body into his before kissing my neck gently. I don’t think this was part of my plan. When I climbed the stairs to his apartment, I was hoping for sex. Because I somehow sensed how amazing it would be. And it was—beyond amazing. But his arms wrapped around my body are more than I want to deal with tonight.
I grab his arms and lift them to free myself.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
I hurriedly move toward the edge of the bed.
“Wait.” He grabs my wrist to stop me from getting away.
“I need to leave.” I look over my shoulder into his eyes before scanning his fucking unbelievable body. He’s closer and the light flickering into the window gives me a much better view. Tattoos cover his chest and arms. I squint to get a better look at the heart on his upper left chest. Or is it a heart in pieces? Dammit. He will not distract me with all his fucking beauty. Not to mention his dick is hard—again. Or maybe it’s still hard. Hell, I don’t know. I’m not real experienced with this sex stuff.
I figure it will be easier to lie, so I say, “Caleb, I didn’t intend to have sex with you. This—well, it was a mistake,” I motion between the two of us. “I mean, it shouldn’t have happened. But you are so fucking…I can’t do this.”
He doesn’t need to know how badly I wanted this and if I stay it may happen again, so I stumble to the floor. Then move around the bed to grab my wet clothes. Shit, wet clothes.
“Can’t do what, Henley? Talk to me like a normal person. Tell me what you’re thinking. You didn’t have a problem with beating the shit out of me, running away from me, or fucking me. But talking to me is something you can’t do,” he says. His voice is gruff. He’s definitely pissed.
“You want me to talk. Fine. My name is Henley Matthews, and I’m not homeless. Actually, I’ve never been homeless. I have an apartment several blocks from here. I lied to you. Yeah, me I lied. I had every intention of having sex with you today. Why else would I end up back in this apartment? Because of the rain?” I let out a soft laugh before continuing, “I walk home in the rain all the time. And under normal circumstances, today wouldn’t have been any different. But, of course, the urge to see you naked took over my self-control and well you know the rest. Are you happy now? Or is there something else you would like to know?” My words come out louder than I want them to, but maybe he’ll know I’m seriously irritated with the interrogation I receive every time we’re together. Which, today is only the third time—and oh, God, I slept with him. And I admitted it was premeditated. Well, it’s over and done with, and I’m not sorry—because it was completely worth it.
I grab my wet clothes from the floor and quickly get dressed. Damn, I hate wet clothes, but it beats walking home naked.
“Are you upset because of what Rex said earlier?” he asks.
I glance over toward the bed. Caleb is sitting on the edge, resting his forearms on his legs. He’s watching and waiting for my answer. “What? No,” I snap back. He’s referring to the drug addict remark Rex had made before we came upstairs. He didn’t have any idea I was sitting on the bottom step waiting on Caleb, because when I walked over to the stairs, Rex wasn’t outside.
“So, you’re telling me the comments he made about me didn’t affect you at all?”
“Did I have sex with you?” I smirk.
“Yeah, but—” I cut him off.
“But what, Caleb? If it bothered me, do you think I would have crawled into your bed? No. Do I believe what he said? I don’t know.”
A part of me wants to know if he’s a drug addict, but if I ask too many questions then, technically, I’ll be giving him the right to do the same to me. I take a minute to examine every inch of his body again. I swear he is so incredibly sexy that he literally takes my breath away. So how can someone who looks this good, and obviously works out, be an addict?
“What you do is your business,” I continue.
“I changed my mind,” he confesses, before standing and moving toward me.
“Changed your mind? About what?”
His hands cup my face before he says, “You talking.”
“I don’t…”
He places his finger over my lips before continuing, “Shhh, don’t talk.”
He kisses the corner of my mouth.
“See how much better it is without any talking involved?”
He kisses the tip of my nose before his lips move back to the corner of my mouth.
“Hmmm,” I moan. I’ve completely forgotten what it is that I’m supposed to be doing.
“Take these wet clothes off and climb back in bed,” he whispers.
Then he tugs on the hem of my shirt. His hands travel across my stomach before his fingers graze my nipples.
My head drops back as I suck in a quick breath. Why does this have to feel so damn good? I can’t stay. Not tonight. I’m not ready for this.
“Just stay, Henley,” he breathes.
He spreads warm kisses along my neck. My immediate reaction is to lean my head to the right for better access. I really need to stop this before it goes too far and I can’t stop it.
“Stop,” I say with a strained voice. It sounds forced—as if I don’t mean it.
The kisses stop, and he steps back.
“I’m not ready to stay the night,” I whisper.
“That’s understandable, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want you to.”
He opens the bottom drawer of his nigh
tstand and grabs a pair of boxer briefs.
Thank God, he’s covering himself. He should never walk around in front of me without underwear on. It’s entirely too stressful.
“I actually prefer you naked, but I’m glad you’re dressed. It will make it easier for me to leave.” I giggle.
In a matter of hours and one round of amazing sex, I have become bold and a bit sassy. The Henley prior to tonight would never tell a guy that she preferred him naked. She might have told him to go fuck himself or walk the fuck away, but never anything remotely to the things said in this room tonight.
“Hmm, I can always take them off if you want me naked, but that would mean you have to take yours off, too. And I’m referring to all of your clothes.” He smirks.
“I would really like to get naked with you again, but I can’t. Because I’m leaving.”
He steps in closer, giving me the perfect opportunity to touch him one last time. I hold his face in my hands and pull his lips to mine. This quick non-affectionate kiss lasts about three seconds and then it’s over. Not because of want, but because it has to be.
“That’s it? You’re leaving?” he asks.
“Yes. I thought you understood that.”
“I did at first, but then I thought maybe you changed your mind.”
“Oh, you thought that kiss meant that I was staying?”
“Yeah, something like that.” He chuckles.
That fucking laugh. He has got to stop talking, kissing, touching, and laughing or I will never be able to leave.
“I’m leaving now. See ya.” I tell him as I make my way from the bedroom into the living room. My gaze finds the small window facing the alleyway. The street lamp outside his apartment gives off enough light to make it easy for me to find the door without tripping over the furniture.
“Will I see you again?” His voice echoes from across the room.
Yes. I want to say yes, so badly. Because despite the weirdness of tonight, I like him. Not only the sex—although the sex was fucking great. He makes me smile.
And he has secrets, too. I know he does. Not because he said so, but because at certain times, if I watch him closely, I can see it. In his face. Through his expressions. The fact that he’s a drug addict isn’t a secret. It’s the reason he is one. Now, that’s the secret. I grab my guitar case and then open the door.
I glance over my shoulder and say, “Maybe…” before walking away.
Chapter 11
Caleb
Maybe. My new favorite word. She didn’t say no, but she didn’t say yes, either. Fuck. I can talk myself into believing pretty much anything. Last night, after Henley had left, I was happier than I’ve been in a long time. At least the times I can remember. I fell asleep thinking of someone other than Piper—which, for me, is progress.
“You’re fucking her, aren’t you?” Rex asks.
My fingers squeeze the edge of the counter until my knuckles lose all color.
“I saw her leaving your place last night,” he continues.
Fuck. I refuse to discuss Henley with him. I am a twenty-six-year-old man, and I don’t plan to sit around with Rex and talk about who we’re fucking like a couple of college kids.
I let go of the counter before turning around to face him. He’s standing in the hallway with a smug look on his face.
“I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“No conversation needed. It’s a question. Yes or no,” he says.
“Still not discussing this with you.”
“I knew the answer before I asked. Only wanted to see if you would admit it. She’s hot. I’ll give her that. But she gives off this vibe like something’s not quite right.”
I will not give him the satisfaction of pulling me into this conversation, but I am curious as shit about her. She’s a whole lot of smart-ass rolled up into a beautiful package. She’s feisty as hell until I kiss her. Then she melts. Right into my arms.
I grab my phone and check the time. Looks like my shift is up, and that means I don’t have to listen to this idiot try to squeeze information about my personal life out of me anymore.
I shove my phone into my front pocket before turning toward the door. Luckily, Brant walks in at the same time I’m walking out. My replacement. Lucky him. Now Rex has somebody else to piss off.
“See ya tomorrow, Caleb,” Rex says. I keep walking. Childish—yeah, but I’ve learned to ignore people who ignite any twinge of anger in me. And the best way to do that today is to walk away.
Once I’m outside, I can breathe again. The Drunken Peacock is a great place to work. It has a lot of established clients, and I get at least one or two client referrals a week. Plus, there are always tourists in and out. So, leaving my job is out of the question. I’m just gonna have to learn to adapt to the asshole who I spend most of my working hours with.
Sitting alone in my apartment is not something I want to do for the rest of the evening, so I decide to take a walk through the French Quarter. It’s a late fall day but with the heat, it seems more like summer.
I move at a steady pace down the sidewalk taking in every street performer I pass. Am I wandering the streets of New Orleans searching for the petite blonde-haired chick who handles a billy club better than any grown man I know? Maybe. That one word. The sound of her voice saying maybe as she walked out of my apartment last night keeps playing repeatedly in my head.
I turn right down an empty side street and continue to walk until it eventually opens up into a huge courtyard. There are a few trees scattered throughout and plants strategically placed to give it almost a homey look. It actually looks more like someone’s front yard instead of a resting spot for tourists or whoever walks these streets. It definitely doesn’t look like it belongs in this concrete world.
The sound of a husky voice directs my attention to the far corner of the courtyard. Henley. I would recognize that voice anywhere. As I inch closer to the sound of her voice, my gaze finds her. She’s sitting on the brick ledge with her guitar held loosely in her hands and her eyes closed.
I cross my arms over my chest and lean into the wall. The words fall from her mouth as if she’s sung the verses a thousand times.
It’s good to hear your voice
I wish I could see your eyes
All I have are memories of how they would shine.
Oh…so much beauty.
But that was then
Before my world came to a crashing end
And my days grew dark
Oh…so much torture.
Now I’m here—alone.
With all the beauty in this world gone.
Forced out by the darkness.
Oh…so much beauty. Oh…so much torture.
My suffering heart still beats.
Only now no one hears it but me.
Because I’m all alone.
A single tear rolls down her cheek before she opens her eyes. The small crowd claps softly not to take too much away from this moment. Her moment. Those words seemed very real to her.
As the group begins to disperse, she slides her guitar into its case. I push myself off the wall and move in her direction. Once I’m standing next to her, I wait for her to finish packing her things.
She has to know I’m standing here. Maybe not. I take another step toward her. Still nothing. Her right leg is dangling from the ledge. She’s so close that if I leaned in, my arm would graze her thigh. She must be ignoring me.
“That last song. It was great,” I tell her. As soon as the words leave my mouth, her body falls forward, but she’s able to catch herself. Thank God, because if not she would have fallen off the ledge, and I would have felt like a complete asshole.
“Damn, Caleb. You scared the shit out of me. How long have you been standing there?” She looks over at me.
“Long enough to assume you were ignoring me.”
“Why would you think that? I didn’t see you.”
“How could you have not seen me? I was only inches from y
our leg. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? How can you be used to being startled?”
“My peripheral vision is for shit, so a lot of the time, I don’t see people approach me from the side, and by the time I see them, it scares me.”
“Is that normal?”
She slams her case and latches it. Then she turns her head and looks at me. Her eyebrows are drawn, lips pursed, and a bright shade of red covers her face. She’s not happy. Not. At. All. What the fuck did I do?
“What?” I shrug.
“Nothing. Just don’t do it again.”
“Do what? Startle you or ask you if you’re normal?”
“I need to get home.” She hops down from the ledge.
“Wait. I’m sorry I upset you. I know I can be a dick at times, but most of the time, with you… well, I don’t know what I’ve said or done that’s upset you.” I pick up the guitar case and fall in step with her.
“I can carry my own case.” She reaches for it, but I pull back.
“Stop being a bitch, Henley. Seriously, let me do something nice. Like carry your guitar case and walk you home. Or at least to the shop because I know how you feel about me finding out where you live.”
I don’t realize she’s stopped walking until I’m about five or six steps away from her. I turn back to find her standing—looking directly at me.
“You win. I’m tired of fighting with you every time we’re together. The only time we haven’t argued is the one time we were naked.”
I quickly tread toward her. Once I’m standing next to her, I set the guitar case down.
After everything that happened with Piper, I made a promise to myself that I would never hold back. If I wanted to be with somebody, I would no matter what the circumstances. Life is too fucking short. But this with Henley is wearing my ass out.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“I’m giving you your guitar back, so you can carry it home.”
“Okay,” she mumbles.