by Natasha West
Kathy picked up the remote and hit mute.
‘What did she do?’
‘Who?’
‘What’s her face… This Alexa person.’
‘I didn’t say she did anything.’
Kathy shook her head. ‘I can’t talk to you if you won’t tell me anything, you realise that, don’t you?’
Daisy considered the trade. Give her mother information on her love life in exchange for any advice she might have to give? It wasn’t a great deal, but she supposed she could risk it. Just this once.
‘Do you know what a showmance is?’
Kathy thought about it. ‘Is it a type of hatchback?’
It wasn’t a promising start.
‘It’s not a car, no’ Daisy said, trying to be patient. ‘It’s when people in the entertainment industry get involved with each other, you know, romantically, when they’re working together. And then, when they’re not working together anymore, the relationship ends.’
‘That sort of thing isn’t confined to working in entertainment. It happens everywhere, Daisy’ Kathy said, a shade more smugly than Daisy could have done with, but she decided to persist nonetheless.
‘Fine. But anyway, that’s what I think might have happened. With me and Alexa.’
‘Oh, I see. Why? Is that what she said to you? That it was over because you’re not going to be working there anymore.’
‘Not as such. It’s more of a feeling.’
Kathy went silent. Daisy thought she wasn’t going to say anymore. But apparently, Kathy had been stewing on her reply because a few minutes later, she said ‘Someone’s been filling your head with shit, haven’t they?’
‘Swear jar, Mum.’
‘Never mind that. You’ve never used a word like showmance before. Who’s said it to you?’
Daisy felt her defences go up. ‘My friend Abigail, actually. And she knows because she grew up in the theatre.’
‘It doesn’t mean she knows anything about the price of tea in China.’
That was another Kathy standard. It meant something to do with talking about things you didn’t really understand, Daisy had gleaned over the years.
‘So anyway, don’t be so daft as to go listening to people who’ve got nothing better to do than use silly expressions like Showmance.’
Daisy thought she might argue with that, because she felt silly and belittled, like she always did with her mum. But then something earth-shatteringly bizarre occurred to her. It was the kind of thought that makes you feel like your world’s upside down and black is white.
Did her mother have a point?
When she thought about the people who’d been sticking their respective oars into the situation, she realised the list contained Abigail, Isabella, Reece and Robyn. Two of them were angry with Alexa, and one had never met her. And the other, Robyn, hadn’t said anything but kind things, even though she was Reece’s sister.
But really, there was only one person she needed to speak to, the one who’s opinion mattered the most. And if it was bad news, then it was bad news. But at least she’d get it straight from the source.
‘Mum! I thought you were getting back later?’
Daisy turned around to see Jake, wearing his normal school uniform but with a tell-tale smudge of street urchin dirty face makeup left on his cheek, looking at her in shock from the doorway of the living room.
‘I got off early. How was school?’
Jake shrugged. ‘Alright.’
‘Yeah?’ Daisy stood up and went over to Jake, wiping the smudge from his face with her thumb. ‘What’s this? Did you fall down?’ she asked, hoping to nudge him toward the truth. But Jake only said ‘Dunno. What’s for tea?’
He really wasn’t going to say anything.
‘For dinner tonight, I was thinking about doing some bowls of gruel. Is that alright, Jake?’ Daisy asked, straight-faced.
Jake’s mouth hung and then he looked over at his gran. ‘You told her!’
Kathy turned to Jake. ‘You should never have put me in that position in the first place’ she declared and then turned back to Countdown, responsibility for her blabbermouth successfully deflected.
‘Why didn’t you tell me, that’s what I want to know’ Daisy demanded.
‘Because it’s so embarrassing.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know, do I? It just is!’ he said, and ran from the room and up the stairs.
Nice one, Daisy. Another successful outing into parenting. You should run seminars.
Later, Daisy was soaking in the bath, trying to sort out the chaos in her head. Her phone was on the toilet, but it was switched off. She didn’t want any calls from Aaron, bugging her about coming in early or anything. Sod the lot of them.
But she did have her Mum’s iPad, thinking she might watch an episode of something on Netflix. But that wasn’t the app she opened. No. Instead, her finger tapped on the YouTube app and when it came up, Daisy’s finger, practically of its own accord, typed in Dexa. And there they were, as Robyn had predicted. Montages of hers and Alexa’s scenes. She picked one at random and watched it all the way through, three minutes of Sarah McLachlan paired with all the big Dexa moments in slow motion.
Daisy had to admit, it was sweet. And she liked it, seeing herself with Alexa. Alexa did indeed look at Daisy in a way that made her feel funny in the chest. But once the video was over, Daisy didn’t know what difference it really made. It was only television. It would be stupid to think anything else.
Nineteen
Alexa was sat in her trailer, dressed in loose sweats and very little makeup, waiting for Aaron to show up to take her to makeup. Actually, that wasn’t quite true. What she was really waiting for was Daisy. Her call time was in half an hour and Alexa was hoping to catch her, to make some attempt at straightening everything out once she’d let a professional deal with the physical mess she was today.
Rap, rap.
Alexa threw open the door to her dinky trailer. But instead of Aaron, it was Daisy, looking deeply pensive. ‘Can we talk-’
‘I’ve been ringing you! Why didn’t you pick up?’ Alexa asked her, going on the offensive.
Daisy stopped, apparently thrown. ‘I switched my phone off.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I… Before I answer that, why were you calling me?’
Alexa pulled Daisy into the trailer and closed the door behind her.
‘Because of…’ Alexa paused, still trying to get her bearings at the surprise appearance of Daisy at her trailer door. But maybe she should just shut up, rather than stick her foot in her mouth yet again.
Given a night to consider what had happened, all Alexa knew for sure was the following:
Alexa had made a stupid joke which had offended Daisy.
Daisy had become quite frosty.
Daisy had left without a word.
And then Alexa had had to keep shooting. After she’d finished, she’d called Daisy but couldn’t get through. She’d spent a sleepless night wondering how to deal with the situation. But she never found an answer. It wasn’t like Isabella, nor Reece. It wasn’t simply a mistake to be handled. It was something else altogether.
And that was when she knew how she felt about Daisy, after she’d already buggered it up. It was love. And it was very inconvenient.
Alexa knew why she’d been in denial about it. Because she didn’t know if Daisy wanted any more than what they had, which had included a fair amount of exceptional sex. But after the sex was over, Daisy would get straight up and go home to her real life and she’d never asked Alexa if she wanted in on it, to meet the people that made that life up. So Alexa had been telling herself that this was all very lovely but there was no point getting attached because Daisy probably wasn’t. She’d compartmentalised Alexa, and Alexa knew what that usually meant.
Daisy was a real person with a complicated life and a nearly teenage son, not to mention a lot of other good, tangible qualities. She wasn’t like Alexa, who wa
s not much more than shit telly fodder with good hair, perfect nails and a flat stomach. And what was that really worth to anyone besides the makers of Laid in Medford?
When you got right down to the root of it, Daisy was a real person. And Alexa was a ‘Reality’ person. That was the difference, the problem that was beyond a solution.
And now she was in her sweats, bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep, looking like warmed over shit, with Daisy in front of her, wanting to ‘Talk.’ It was all quite nerve-wracking and she didn’t even have her usual armour in place, courtesy of the hair, makeup and wardrobe departments.
‘Well?’ Daisy repeated, still waiting to find out why Alexa had tried to call her.
Alexa sat down on the sofa. ‘I wanted to know why you left. I know you weren’t really sick.’
‘You don’t know why I left?’ Daisy asked incredulously. ‘You can’t think of anything you might have said-’
‘If this is about that joke I made, then honestly, I think your reaction was… Disproportionate’ Alexa said, knowing she was being awful, unable to stop, unable to be honest and just tell Daisy how it really was. No, this was better. Why hand someone the knife they were going to use to stab you in the heart? ‘And I don’t think you’ve got any right to just walk off the set like that. It’s unprofessional.’
Daisy gave Alexa an extremely hard look and she feared what words might soon accompany such an expression. But all she said was ‘Alright then. If that’s what you think, then I don’t know what more there is to be said here.’
And she walked out.
Nothing happened for the proceeding two minutes after Daisy left the trailer. But as the second hand counted a hundred and twenty-four seconds after Daisy’s exit, the noise of someone breaking a mirror inside the trailer could have been heard, if anyone had been around to hear it. But there wasn’t anyone. It was a moment of self-loathing and it took place under the conditions that had created it in the first place. It was Alexa, alone.
Twenty
Daisy didn’t want to walk into the makeup trailer. Not right now. It was too obvious that she’d been crying. Isabella would simply lap that up and Daisy wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. She just needed a moment for her colour to return to normal.
‘Hey’ said a head that popped out of the makeup trailer door. ‘What are you fucking about at out there. There’s a schedule, you know!’
‘Alright!’ Daisy replied to Isabella’s angry little face. ‘I’m coming. Keep your knickers on!’
‘Is that a zit on your chin? Have you been eating junk food?’ Isabella demanded as Daisy walked in.
‘None of your business’ Daisy snapped.
‘Ooh, someone’s in a bad mood today’ Isabella mocked.
‘You’re in a bad mood every day and no one ever says anything about that so why don’t you just shut up for a change?’ Daisy replied, tiredly. She had no energy for the fight she was apparently having. Not when it was with the ghost of relationships future who had been rattling her miserable little chains in Daisy’s face mere days ago, warning her off Alexa. Worse, she’d been right. ‘Just do your job and make me look presentable. Other than that, I don’t think we need to talk to each other.’
Isabella’s eyebrow raised ever so slightly but she didn’t reply and Daisy thought, just for once, that she might have won a round with her. But the quiet was only temporary.
‘I heard you went home sick yesterday’ Isabella said, dabbing some ice on the zit to shrink it before she tried to cover it.
Daisy didn’t say anything.
‘What was it? Bad stomach? Catering’s had some very ropey looking meat sandwiches lately. I keep seeing the same one getting put out every day. I don’t know who they think they’re fooling-’
‘What are you doing?’ Daisy asked.
Isabella tried to look innocent. ‘Don’t know what you mean.’
‘You’re being chatty. You’re never chatty.’
Isabella sniffed and turned to her eye shadow palettes, which apparently needed a tidy right this second. ‘I guess I thought I should ease up on you a bit. Heard you got the sack.’
‘Yeah… In more ways than one,’ Daisy said with a glance at Isabella. What was the point of keeping up the pretence anymore? Let her have her moment. If Isabella could scrape up a few minutes of joy from dancing on the grave of ‘Dexa’, then why not give it to her?
‘What?’ Isabella started. ‘You and Alexa have finished already?’
‘That’s right. She just talked to me like I was shit on her shoe so I guess you were right. She’s done with me. Enjoy.’
Isabella paused for a moment and eventually said ‘No, that’s OK. Right, let’s see about covering Mount Etna, shall we?’
It was a very weird day on Laid in Medford. There were lay lines of tension sitting over the unused part of the club, which currently functioned as a makeshift green room where everyone was forced to sit while they waited to shoot. Daisy and Alexa weren’t talking to each other, for a start. And Reece wasn’t talking to anyone. But Robyn was talking to everybody, as usual, even if they wouldn’t talk back. Eventually, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she went to sit next to Will, an oasis of normality in the resentful desert.
‘What’s up with everyone?’ she whispered to him.
‘Not a clue. But if I were to take a wild stab in the dark, I’d guess it was something to do with people not being able to keep it in their pants’ Will whispered back.
Robyn nodded. ‘Wise words, Will. Wise words.’
He pointed at his coiffed noggin and said, ‘Not just a hat rack.’
Robyn laughed and shoved him playfully. He almost fell out of his chair. Robyn was stronger than she looked.
‘Can I have Daisy, Will and Robyn?’ came the call from the production manager.
The trio got up and walked over to Jane for their orders and began their shoot.
‘Honestly, it’s not right to be trying to get between them’ Robyn said to Daisy.
‘It’s none of your business’ Daisy replied, snippily.
‘Anyway’ Will interjected angrily. ‘What about us? You kissed me, remember?!’
Alexa heard the tail end of the scene that was currently shooting but if she didn’t have to be on set, then she wouldn’t be. She couldn’t take any more of this. Watching Daisy pretending to pursue her when the exact opposite had happened? It was too much.
So she mouthed ‘Trailer’ at Aaron and he nodded. He’d come and get her when she was needed.
As she sloped across the car park, she thanked god that there was only today and tomorrow left in this awful situation. And once they wrapped, she wouldn’t have to look at Daisy anymore.
She thought she might jet off to somewhere exotic and far away once she’d done with this series. She’d be back in a few months but there was no reason she had to spend those months here, stewing in everything that had happened. Yes, distance was the key. As she opened the door to the trailer, she thought that Fiji might be nice.
‘Hi’ said a voice from inside and Alexa froze, frightened. And then she saw who it was. Isabella, sitting on the sofa, looking at home. Alexa had thought it was some obsessed fan come to murder her. Finding Isabella instead wasn’t much better.
‘What are you doing in my trailer, Issy? You were on your last warning. I can’t stop them from firing you if you start it all up again. Not this time.’
‘Relax. I’m not here to break your shit or anything. I just wanted to talk to you. But speaking of broken things, you should probably get someone in to clean up that mirror in the bathroom-’
‘What do you want?’
Isabella smiled. ‘Just wanted to catch up. We’ve done a great job of avoiding each other this series, haven’t we? I’ve barely seen you.’
‘Yes, for good reason.’
‘I admit, I got a bit… Intense before.’
‘Intense? You put a brick through my windshield.’
‘You weren’t in the car at t
he time, though. You’ve got to give me credit for that.’
Alexa laughed nervously. ‘If that’s something you think deserves applause then I’m sorry to tell you you’re not going to get it.’
Isabella joined in the laughter, although hers was more genuine. ‘I’ve missed this.’
‘You’ve missed breaking into my place and freaking me out?’
‘No! You and me. This!’
Alexa rubbed her temple. ‘Issy…’
‘I’m putting my hands up, alright? I went a bit over the top when we ended.’
Alexa waited. Isabella had come to say something and the best way to get her out of here without her throwing a shit fit was to let her say it.
‘But I still think it could work’ Isabella said.
Right, there it was. And now Alexa had a bomb to defuse.
‘Isabella, do you think you could maybe listen to what I’ve got to say without trying to interrupt or arguing with me?’
‘Of course, Sweetie.’
‘We had a shot. And I’m not going to say we didn’t have fun. We did, I acknowledge that. But however you’re feeling, it’s not how I feel. I’ve moved on-’
Isabella rolled her eyes. ‘What, with that Daisy creature? I know you’ve split up. That’s why I came. Thought you might need a little… Comfort.’
Alexa paused. It was very recent news to have already hit the makeup department. It had only happened three hours ago.
‘How do you know that?’
‘Because I’ve been coiffing your little fuck-toy for months. You think I can’t read her? Christ, for an actress, she’s got no fucking poker face whatsoever.’
Alexa sighed. ‘You should leave her alone. She hasn’t done anything to you.’
‘I have been. God, relax. We’re practically buddies. She told me all about how you gave her the boot.’