Massively Violent & Decidedly Average
Page 35
We all want a few more quid, but I don’t resent missing out on the millions because I was born in 1969 and not 1989. The compensation for being paid a relative pittance during my time was the laughter, bonhomie with colleagues and fans and the enormous amount of fun we had. I refer especially, though not exclusively, to the 1995–96 season at Sunderland. The drunken fun in Chaplin’s after we had won the league is a special memory that I shall take to the grave. They were the best times of my life and I’m not sure that today’s players will ever experience anything quite like it. Of course, the biggest consolation for the passing of my time as a player is provided by the following thought:
At least I had my time.
I earned decent money by normal standards. But I remember a plumber friend of mine at the time who was earning the same as me, the difference being that he had to work much harder for it. I was being paid to do something I loved, which is everyone’s fantasy. Then there were the fringe benefits, such as being ushered into nightclubs, gliding past the queue, entering free of charge then being lionised; treated like a film star merely because I played for our beloved local football club. Not every day was wonderful, but overall I had a magnificent time as a footballer and will never apologise for that.
And unlike today when players are essentially teetotal athletes – and I’m not saying that is a bad thing – we were allowed to drink and experience the joys of being silly, normal young men. Normality has apparently been banned since then.
Had I earned the big money, bought a pile of property and not needed to work again, it would not necessarily have been a positive thing. I have already mentioned the void that retirement from football can create. I filled the void with work and family. But had there been no need to earn money, the void could have been filled with booze, boredom, depression and an array of other negatives. However, I like to think that this wouldn’t have happened and that I would have done something productive. Anyway, regardless of income, the opportunity always exists to become a full-time arsehole and I have never taken it. Self-respect is everything.
So I don’t begrudge today’s players their money, any more than I begrudge them their ridiculous full heads of hair and their stupid flat stomachs.
For the main part I am fit and well. I enjoy my cycling immensely and take it quite seriously. I do it with friends: Tim Connors, Steve Norton, Ian Dodd, Ben Robinson and Mickey Crowe. Every year we do the 144-mile Coast-to-Coast ride from Whitehaven to Sunderland for charity. It gives me an adrenalin surge that would otherwise be missing. However, I’m some way short of physical perfection and certain bits of me have by necessity been screwed back on.
Because of the pressure on my knee, my left thigh is bigger than my right. My right calf is massive compared to the left due to my Achilles injury. My legs look as though they have been drawn by a toddler of limited artistic ability, even among the toddling community. And as for my back…
Common consensus is that the soul has been removed from the game. But I still love football and always will. I coach kids between the ages of eight and thirteen and derive great pleasure from this.
I am as much a Sunderland fan today as I ever was, despite the perennial frustrations and anger I occasionally feel. I remain a bloke from Thorney Close who sometimes has to let off steam when his team lets him down.
On 21 January 2017, I travelled to the Hawthorns to watch Sunderland turn in an abject performance against West Brom. Standing (because you can’t use your seat) in the Smethwick End, where over two decades earlier I had scored the winner, I was particularly annoyed by our full-back Patrick van Aanholt, whose ‘effort’ and commitment to the cause were pitiful (although perhaps explained by his big-money move to Crystal Palace a week later). I’m normally quite calm, but this motivated me at the end of the game to lean over a barrier and scream my opinions at him.
I could have gone on and on and on and on and…
INDEX
van Aanholt, Patrick 1
Adams, Tony 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Adamson, Damian 1
Adamson, Tony 1
Agnew, Steve 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Aiston, Sam 1
Ajax AFC 1, 2
Alderson, Trevor 1
Aldridge, John 1, 2, 3
Allardyce, Sam 1
Allison, David 1, 2
Anderson, John 1
Angell, Brett 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Annabel’s (nightclub) 1
Ards FC 1
Armstrong, Gordon 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Arsenal FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Asanović, Aljoša 1
Aston Villa FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Athlone Town FC 1, 2
Atkins, Ian 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Atkins, Mark 1
Atkinson, Brian 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Atkinson, Dalian 1
Ball, Kevin 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31
Barber, Graham 1
Barmby, Nick 1, 2, 3, 4
Barnes, John 1, 2, 3, 4
Barnes, Paul 1, 2, 3
Barnsley FC 1, 2, 3, 4
Barton, Warren 1, 2
Beardsley, Peter 1, 2
Beck, Mikkel 1
Beckham, David 1, 2, 3, 4
Bedford Town FC 1, 2
Benitez, Rafael 1
Bennett, Gary 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Beresford, Marlon 1, 2
Bergkamp, Dennis 1
Beys, Frank 1
Bingham, David 1
Birch, Paul 1
Birmingham City FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
Bishop Auckland FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Blackburn Rovers FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Blair, Tony 1
Blatherwick, Steve 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Blatter, Sepp 1
Blyth Spartans FC 1
Bolton Wanderers FC 1, 2
Bolton, Joe 1, 2
Boniek, Zbigniew 1
Bono 1
Bosman, Jean–Marc 1, 2
Bosnich, Mark 1
Bould, Steve 1, 2, 3
Bournemouth, AFC 1, 2, 3
Brabant, Fernand 1, 2, 3
Bracewell, Paul 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Bradford City FC 1, 2, 3
Branco 1
Brass, Chris 1, 2, 3
Brazil, Alan 1
Breen, Gary 1
Brennan, Mark 1
Brentford FC 1, 2, 3, 4
Bridges, Michael 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Brief History of Time, A 1
Bristol City FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Bristol Rovers FC 1, 2
Broadhurst, Kevan 1, 2, 3
Brock, Kevin 1
Brodie, Stephen 1, 2, 3
Brown, Grant 1
Bruce, Steve 1, 2, 3
Buckingham Town FC 1, 2
Bull, Steve 1
Bungalow Cafe (Sunderland) 1
Burley, George 1, 2
Burnley FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Burr, Steve 1, 2
Bury FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Butcher, Terry 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
Butler, Eddie 1
Butt, Nicky 1, 2
Butters, Guy 1
Buxton, Mick 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Byrne, Chris 1
Byrne, John 1
Cairns, John 1
Callaghan brothers 1
Campbell, Glenn 1
Campbell, Sol 1
Cantona, Eric 1, 2
Cardiff City FC 1
Carlisle United FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Carman QC, George 1
Carruthers, Chris 1
Carruthers, John 1, 2, 3
Carter, Jimmy 1
Carter, Tim 1
Carver, John 1
Casey, Dennis 1
, 2, 3
Celtic FC 1, 2
Chamberlain, Alec 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
Chaplin’s (pub) 1, 2
Charles, Gary 1
Charlton Athletic FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Charlton, Bobby 1
Charlton, Jack 1
Chelsea FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Chester City FC 1, 2
Chesterfield FC 1, 2, 3, 4
Ciney, RUW 1, 2, 3
Clamot, Daniel 1, 2
Claridge, Steve 1
Clark, Gary 1
Clark, Lee 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Clarkson, Ian 1
Clothes Show, The 1
Clough, Brian 1, 2
Coatsworth, Gary 1, 2
Colback, Jack 1
Colchester United FC 1, 2, 3
Cole, Andy 1, 2, 3
Cole, Michael 1, 2, 3
Coleman, Chris 1
Collymore, Stan 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Common, Jonathan 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Conroy, Mr 1
Consett AFC 1
Cooke, Andy 1
Cooper, Colin 1
Cooper, Paul 1, 2
Corazzin, Carlo 1, 2
Coton, Tony 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Cottee, Tony 1
Coventry City FC 1, 2, 3, 4
Cowans, Gordon 1, 2, 3
Cowie, Ronnie 1, 2
Coxall, Philip 1, 2
Craddock, Jody 1, 2
Crichton, Paul 1
Cronin, Gareth 1
Crook Town FC 1
Crosby, Malcolm 1, 2, 3
Crossley, Mark 1
Crowe, Mickey 1, 2
Crystal Palace FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Cullip, Danny 1
Culot, David 1
Cummins, Stan 1, 2
Cunnington, Shaun 1, 2
Curbishley, Alan 1
D’Avray, Mich 1, 2
Daish, Liam 1
Daley, Tony 1
Dandy, David 1
Danson, Paul 1
Darlington FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Davenport, Peter 1, 2
Davies, Barry 1
Davis, Evan 1, 2
Davis, Paul 1
Deane, Brian 1
Defoe, Jermain 1
Demaerschalk, Daniel 1
Derby County FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Derbyshire, Victoria 1, 2
Dick, Alistair 1
Dillon, Kevin 1, 2
Dipper, Ian 1
Dixon, Lee 1
Docherty, Mick 1
Docherty, Tommy 1
Docquier, Roland 1
Doncaster Rovers FC 1, 2
Dowell, Davey 1, 2
Dozzell, Jason 1
Drogheda United FC 1
Dryden, Richard 1
Duncan, James 1
Duncan, John 1, 2, 3, 4
Dunn, Harry 1, 2
Durban, Alan 1, 2
Durham City FC 1
Durie, Gordon 1
Duxbury, Mike 1
Earl, Robbie 1
Edge, The 1
Edmondson, Darren 1
Ehiogu, Ugo 1
Elleray, David 1
Elliott, Robbie 1, 2
Elliott, Shaun 1
Ellis, Gordon 1, 2
Ellis, Kenny 1, 2
Ellis, Sam 1, 2, 3, 4
Emerson 1, 2
Emmerson, Neil 1, 2, 3
Eriksson, Jan 1
Escape To Victory 1
Euell, Jason 1
Everton FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Eyres, David 1, 2
Fashanu, John 1
Feathersone, John 1, 2
Ferdinand, Les 1, 2
Ferdinand, Rio 1
Ferguson, Alex 1
Ferguson, Bobby 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Ferguson, Derek 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Ferguson, Duncan 1, 2
Festa, Gianluca 1
Finnan, Steve 1
Fino’s (nightclub) 1
Flowers, Tim 1
Football Echo 1, 2
Football Focus 1, 2
Ford, Mark 1, 2, 3
Ford Sports Daventry 1, 2
Forest Green Rovers FC 1, 2
Forrest, Craig 1
Foster, Neil 1
Fowler, Robbie 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Frain, John 1
Freestone, Chris 1
Fry, Barry 1
Fulham FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Furnandiz, Roger 1
Gabbiadini, Marco 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Gallagher, Dermot 1
Gamble, John 1, 2
Gascoigne, Paul 1, 2, 3, 4
Gates, Eric 1, 2, 3
Gateshead FC 1, 2, 3, 4
Gemine, Louis 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Gemine, Stéphane 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Gemmill, Scott 1
Gerrard, Paul 1
Gibb, Ali 1
Giggs, Ryan 1
Gillingham FC 1, 2, 3
Ginola, David 1, 2
Given, Shay 1, 2, 3, 4
Gleghorn, Nigel 1
Glentoran FC 1
Glover, Lee 1
Goddard, Paul 1
De Goey, Ed 1
Gogglebox 1
Goldie (exotic dancer) 1, 2
Golightly, Steve 1
Goodman, Don 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15
Gough, Richard 1
Gray, Martin 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Gray, Micky 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19
Gray, Phil 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24
Gregory, Neil 1
Griffiths, Carl 1
Grimsby Town FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Gritt, Steve 1
Håland, Alf-Inge 1
Hall, A. R. 1
Hall, Gareth 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Hall, Paul 1
Hamed, Naseem 1
Hamilton, Gary 1
Hansen, Alan 1
Hardy, Billy 1
Harford, Mick 1, 2, 3
Harrison, Eddie 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Harrison, Gerry 1
Hartlepool United FC 1, 2
Hartley, Trevor 1, 2, 3, 4
Hartson, John 1, 2
Hateley, Mark 1
Hayles, Barry 1
Hazard, Eden 1
Hazard, Mick 1, 2
Hazard, Thierry 1
Hearts FC 1, 2
Heath, Adrian 1
Heckingbottom, Paul 1
Hell (Norway) 1
Hemptinne, AS 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15
Hendon, Ian 1, 2, 3
Herd, George 1
Heskey, Emile 1
Heysel disaster 1
Hill, Colin 1, 2
Hill, Jimmy 1, 2
Hindmarch, Rob 1
Hirst, David 1
Hislop, Shaka 1
Hitchin Town FC 1
Hodgson, Dougie 1
Holdsworth, David 1
Holdsworth, Dean 1, 2, 3, 4
Holloway, Darren 1
Holloway, Ian 1
Hooper, Mike 1
van Hooijdonk, Pierre 1
Hope, Richard 1, 2, 3, 4
Horsfield, Geoff 1
Horsley, Trevor 1
Houghton, Ray 1
Hoult, Russell 1
Howard, Steve 1, 2, 3
Howells, David 1
Howey, Christopher (son) 1
Howey, Claudia (daughter) 1, 2, 3, 4
Howey, Elliot (son) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Howey, Joseph (son) 1, 2
Howey, Maz (wife) 1, 2, 3, 4
Howey, Norman (father) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25
Howey, Steven (brother) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15
Howey, Tom (uncle) 1
Howey, Yvonne (mother) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
Hughes, Mark 1
Hunt, Andy 1
Hunter, Roy 1, 2
Hurley, Charlie 1
Ipswich Town FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23
Irwin, Denis 1
Jailhouse Rock 1
James, David 1
James, Julian 1
Jepson, Ronnie 1
Joachim, Julian 1
John Paul II, Pope 1
Johnston, Allan 1, 2, 3, 4
Jones, Rob 1, 2
Jordan, Joe 1, 2
Judopay 1, 2
Juninho 1, 2, 3
Kavanagh, Graham 1
Kay, John 1, 2
Keane, Robbie 1
Keane, Roy 1, 2
Keegan, Kevin 1, 2, 3, 4
Kelly, Alan 1
Kelly, David 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Kelly, Gary 1
Kendall, Howard 1
Keown, Martin 1
Kettering Town FC 1
Kidd, Ryan 1
Kirton, Trevor 1
Kiwonya, Chris 1
Klinsmann, Jürgen 1, 2
Knight, Alan 1
Kristensen, Bjørn 1
Kubicki, Dariusz 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Lambert, Rickie 1
Lambert, Stephen 1
Lampard, Frank 1
Langan, Kevin 1
Lawrence, Jamie 1
Lawrence, Lennie 1
Ledwith, Gavin 1
Lee, Rob 1
Leeds United FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Leicester City FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Lennon, Neil 1
Let There Be Light 1
Lincoln City FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Lineker, Gary 1
Lindstedt, Ray 1
Little, Glenn 1, 2
Live Aid 1
Liverpool FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Long Buckby FC 1
Lord of the Flies 1
Lormor, Tony 1
Lowe, David 1
Lukic, John 1
Luton Town FC 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Lyall, John 1
Lynam, Des 1
Lyttle, Des 1
Mabbutt, Gary 1
McAllister, Gary 1
Macari, Lou 1
McAteer, Jason 1
McAuliffe, Jimmie 1, 2, 3