by Faye Sonja
“I haven’t come here for love, Marjory.”
“Most of us didn’t, my girl, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t get it.”
Anna thought about what the older woman said. She’d be around her adoptive mother’s age if she’d still been alive. It made her realize how much she missed advice from an older woman. She missed advice from Ada as the older sister, and she missed the youthful attitude of Emma. It was a great shame her family couldn’t be here. But they’d all get together at Emma’s wedding should it all go well with the gentleman she was writing.
This was nothing like she’d dreamed her wedding day would be when she was a child. In all her dreaming, she never had the blemish on her face. How would she look without it? Something she’d never know and without it, she wouldn’t be the person she had become.
“Come along, young lady. Let’s get your wedding attire on and I have some things for you from the church ladies’ group. I hope you’ll join us. We’ve raised a lot of money for the school by selling baked goods to the miners.” Marjory led her out the back of the chapel and into their home.
“I’ll be sure to have the children put on a performance to say thank you.”
“That would be lovely.”
“Do you know of anyone who’d make a good teacher’s helper? I feel with the amount of children I’ll have, an assistant would be very helpful. I’ll pay them a small wage.”
“I’ll have them come to speak with you through the week. We’ve a couple of good choices.”
“Thank you, Marjory. You’ve been most kind.”
“We take care of each other out here. It’s not easy.”
“I love a challenge.”
“Best get you married then, I don’t think there’s a bigger challenge in town than softening up Officer William Anderson, but he sure needs it. Good luck.”
Marjory left Anna in the guest bedroom to get dressed in her simple white crepe dress. She’d made her a headdress of flowers, which fitted perfectly over her hair and pushed her light curls down over the sides of her face.
It covered her mark quite well, but was that what she wanted? Anna took the band of flowers off her head and pulled her hair back. She put the band back on and now it held her hair back out of the way. Her mark stood out. She eyed it in the mirror and pulled a few wisping strands of hair from each side back under the hairband and over her face.
This took away from her blemish without just hiding it. It was a part of her and she’d stopped letting it define who she was and what she did. Her dress nipped in at the waist and though she wore a support bodice under it, it wasn’t a traditional stiff corset. It was far too hot out here for those.
Her white lace-up shoes slipped onto her stockinged feet easily, and when she twirled in front of the mirror she welled with pride. This was the most beautiful she’d ever felt and she was pleased she’d decided to come here and marry William. She hoped the three children all had a happy day.
A tap came to the door.
“Come in.”
Marjory popped her head into the partially opened doorway. “Oh. Anna, you look delightful. I have a visitor for you. She insisted she come to be with you.”
Young Rose poked her head in and grinned. “You look beautiful.”
“Rose! Do come in. I want to see your dress as well.”
Rose walked in and spun around for Anna. She looked so cute in her long white cotton dress and she carried a fan with a blue ribbon attached.
“Wow, you’re quite the young lady.”
“I’ve some rose petals in a basket if Rose would like to spread them before you walk down the aisle.”
It hit Anna then that she’d have to walk down on her own. “I think that’d be lovely.”
Marjory smiled. “Don’t worry about being alone. There’s a strapping young lad out here waiting to walk you to his father.”
Tears prickled Anna’s eyes. “Really?”
“See, I told you love comes to find you even if you don’t want it.”
“I’m honoured Fred would want to walk me to his father.”
“I’ll tell him you’ll be along shortly.” Marjory closed the door again.
“Do you think I look nice enough for a wedding, Rose?”
“You look like a princess.”
“Well, so do you. Should we go?”
Rose nodded and took Anna’s hand.
“Is Lily out there?” Anna was worried for the older daughter.
“She’s gonna be waiting at the chapel, she told me.”
“I’m pleased.”
“Me too.”
“Let’s go then, Missy. We don’t want to keep everyone waiting. Besides, I baked a cake this morning that is waiting for you to taste it.”
“Yummy.”
Anna walked out with Rose beside her, and the emotions choked in her throat. This was the right choice; the children needed her. Not just William’s children. Anna was determined to make a difference and prove there were more ways to teach a child than with fear and cruelty.
Her school days were filled with sadness and hate, and she refused to ever let children in her care have to go through what she’d endured at the hands and words of others. A new beginning for her: a career, a marriage, and a dream come true to teach the way she wanted to teach.
Fred stood at the door in a suit coat and longer shorts. His shoes had been polished till shiny and a white handkerchief peeked from his jacket pocket.
He held out his crooked arm for Anna to take and she smiled as she did so. It was time to make this for a lifetime. Anna prayed it would be, and she knew God was listening to her prayers.
* * *
5
Married
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“Children? Are you here to
meet me?… “You’re not our Ma.”
.
It may not have been anything she’d imagined, but the wedding was simply perfect. She’d caught her breath when she’d seen William standing there in his full officer uniform, complete with medals. She could see he was a man she could fall in love with.
But it was his attitude to how life should be regimented and disciplined that she knew she could never compromise on. If he never changed that, she’d be fighting against him all the time. She had hoped that here she’d be more readily accepted for her radical ideas on education and how people learn.
She suspected her birthmark would be more readily accepted than her stance on life and education. But she wouldn’t be changing her mind on that anytime soon. Once she proved to the parents how well their children could learn, and what they could achieve, then they’d stop questioning the process.
She’d met three people who’d make perfect assistants and for the sake of variety she wanted to work out a way they could all interact with the children and be there to support her in her philosophies as the teacher. Two were females, one younger and one older, and one was a younger male. They all had something to create a positive impact on the children’s lessons.
As people left the wedding afternoon tea, Marjory gathered up the sweet and savory baked goods for Anna and William to take home. It would save anyone cooking that night, she’d said, and the children would go to bed early with good full bellies. It had been a long day and the thought of an early night sounded just fine.
Anna walked home with the children while William loaded the wagon to bring home the gifts and food. People were very kind and had given small, useful items to them. They’d have soap, staple ingredients, material for sewing, and notepaper for writing for a very long time to come.
“Have you had a good day, Lily?” Anna was a little concerned over her quietness for the day. But she had seen a few smiles. It still had to be hard for them to now see Anna marry their father.
Lily shrugged and kept walking ahead of Anna.
“I know I’m not your Ma, and I don’t want to be. But
I’m asking you to give me a chance to be your friend and later on, your teacher.”
“I hate school, anyway.”
“Have you been to school, Lily?”
“Nup. But my friend’s brother says teachers are mean. He says we don’t need to learn nuthin’ anyway.”
“I’m sure you’d like to be able to read and write for yourself.”
“S’pose.”
“I won’t be mean and you’ll like my lessons.”
“Will you teach about cooking?”
“I can if you’d like.”
Lily nodded. “Okay. I gotta go get this dress off and can I go play by the creek then?”
“If it’s okay with your Pa.”
“He never lets me play by the creek by myself.”
“Perhaps I could come for a little while.”
“Last time I went was with Ma.”
“I’m sorry, Lily. If you’d like me to take you, I will. But it’s okay if you don’t.”
“I want to go back. It reminds me of Ma. I like to remember her, but Pa gets mad.”
“I’ll ask him for you. I can do some embroidery while I sit there.”
“Okay. I’ll go get changed.” Lily ran down the road hanging onto her hat.
“Aren’t you scared of Pa?” Fred had walked up beside her now, carrying Rose in his arms, her head drooped on his shoulder.
“Not really. Are you?”
“Sometimes.”
“I think I might be too if I was your age. He means well. He’s just trying to keep a routine.”
“I guess. He was better when he laughed with us.”
“Maybe we can get him to laugh again soon.”
“Hope so. I’ll walk Rose home a little faster. I think she’s ready for a nap.”
“I think she’s already having it.” Anna smiled at his freckle-faced grin.
“See ya.”
“Bye, Fred.”
That left her to walk alone for a bit, but after a few paces she heard a wagon behind her.
“Care for a lift, Mrs. Anderson?” William’s voice called from behind her.
“That’d be lovely.”
The wagon pulled up beside her and William got down to help her up the other side. “There you go.”
“The children went on ahead. Rose is asleep in Fred’s arms and Lily wanted to change out of her dress.”
William climbed back up again and clicked his mouth at the horses, who began a steady walk. “Excellent.”
“Lily would like to go down to the creek. I said I’d take her.”
“I’m not sure that’s good for her. She went there with Laura.”
“Then she should go. Cutting them off from the memories of their Ma, God rest her soul, is not the answer.”
“Life goes on. It doesn’t pay to dwell on tragedies.”
“It mightn’t pay for you to, but they are children and they need to know it’s alright to miss their mother, even if it hurts.”
William looked straight at her then. “I know what’s best for my children.”
“Have you ever asked them?”
“They’re children.”
“So?”
“It’s not necessary ask them what’s best for them.”
“But being able to speak and remember things about their mother isn’t like you’re giving them all the freedom to do what they want.” Anna had been married a few hours and they were having a heated debate already.
“They’ll get along just fine by following orders.”
“Kids have feelings too. Don’t you remember being a child?”
“My being a child has nothing to do with this. I learned order and discipline.” His voice had raised a little. “I lived with rules and regulation, and hard work. I’m fine.”
“Stop the wagon, please.”
“What?”
“Stop the wagon. I want to get down.”
“Suit yourself.” He stopped the horses.
Anna climbed down. “Just so you are very clear, I won’t stop those children from mourning for and remembering their mother. I’m not an interchangeable replacement for her in their eyes, even if I am in yours.” She walked off and left him sitting up there looking at her in surprise. Had no one ever gone against anything he said? Did he really think the whole world was under his control?
William watched her walk off in the pretty dress she’d worn for their wedding. It’d been a while since anyone had argued the point with him. He thought that was mostly because the people here felt bad he’d lost Laura and just let him boss them around. The rest were likely just too scared.
The thing was, it didn’t feel so bad to have a difference of opinion with someone. Although he still wanted to see the children with discipline in their lives, he supposed he was being too harsh with them about their mother.
Just because he didn’t want to think about it, didn’t mean they felt the same. Anna was right about that, but he still wanted the children to have their chores and routine. It never hurt for them to understand things came from hard work and not from waiting for others to hand it to them.
Anna was his wife now, and though he didn’t ever want to be in love again, he couldn’t help thinking having her around would make his house into a home again. He’d add that thanks to his prayers tonight.
He got the horses going again. He’d have to drive past Anna, so he let her have a head start. Once he’d gotten up to her again, he called out to her. “Anna, would you like a lift home?”
“No, thank you. I’ll walk.”
“See you there, then. I’m going to change out of this uniform.”
He drove past her. Stubborn woman, but if she wanted to walk, she could walk. He wasn’t going to let it bother him. He flicked the reins and the horses broke into a run, and in ten minutes he was heading them through his gate.
He unhitched them and gave them water. He’d come out and brush them down as soon as he’d gotten changed. Fred was out splitting the wood again, and Lily had her doll on the porch. Perhaps this birthday he’d have to make her a small carriage to push her doll in. He wondered if Anna might be able to sew some new clothes for the doll as well.
Sure felt good to know he wasn’t in this alone anymore. He greeted the children and took his boots off to walk into the house. He pulled at the buttons on the tight collar and removed the shirt as he walked into his bedroom. His eyes went right to his dresser and the family photos.
How stupid of him to not think about Anna walking in to see those on their wedding day. He picked them all up and lingered over his favorite one of Laura. Such a terrible shame she’d gone. A beautiful spirit now with the Lord. He missed her very much, but he knew he had to make the best of what he had.
He put all the pictures into the drawer and it looked so bare now. William took his uniform off and put on some more casual trousers and a shirt. He folded his clothes carefully and put them in the dresser drawers. There was still time to get a fire going outside in the grate and to cook some corn over it for supper.
He actually hadn’t done that with the children since before Laura had passed. Time went so fast and yet so slow. Well, this evening he’d do it and he hoped Anna enjoyed it as well. William popped his head into the girls’ bedroom and saw Rose still asleep with her black hair covering her face. He smiled; she loved the corn nights, and it’d be good for her.
He strode outside and said hello to Lily on the way past, then he went to Fred. “Do ya think we could use some of that wood to cook some corn?”
Fred’s eyes lit up. “Outside?”
“I think we can show Anna how beautiful the stars are here on a clear night.”
“Sure, Pa. I’ll get it going right now.” Fred’s wide smile lit up his freckled face.
“I’ll go pick the best ears of corn.”
Fred gathered up wood in his arms and ran with it around the side where the makeshift fire grate was.
William looked up to see a vision in white with the flowers still on her he
ad and his heart jumped a beat as he realized this was his new wife. His gaze wandered to her blemished cheek and for the first moment he’d forgotten it even existed. He knew that no mark could make Anna imperfect; nothing could.
She was strong and passionate about what she believed in. She wasn’t afraid to have an opinion and she had the children’s best interests at heart. Anna would make the perfect teacher to open the school, and he knew given the chance, the perfect wife. But he’d sworn to never love again and he was not going to fall in love with Anna.
* * *
6
Starry Night
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“Children? Are you here to
meet me?… “You’re not our Ma.”
.
When Anna walked in past the wooden gate, she saw a hive of activity going on. Lily was dragging some dry branches along the ground, Fred had piled up some of the wood he’d been splitting the past couple of days and William was in the cornfield with his arms loaded with corn.
Fred smiled and waved to her, and she saw the children and William had all gotten changed out of their Sunday best. She’d do the same, and she wondered for a second if she’d be sleeping in the bedroom tonight, with her new husband. Of course, she couldn’t expect him to sleep in the barn.
She’d always known marriage would include intimacy, but now she was a little nervous about the whole thing because William had definitely not indicated how he felt about it other than that he didn’t want love, just companionship and assistance.
Anna waved to them all and she noticed Lily turned away from her. There was still some work to do there, but she had time. No rush. First the trust needed to be built. Anna was over her difference of opinion with William. She hoped that time and trust would also help there. The walk had stretched her legs and the fresh air cleared her mind.
Now she had to focus on getting this school up and running. That would be the proof in the pudding. Once the children began to learn and grow, William would see that you didn’t always need harshness to bring out the talent in people and to see learning occur.