by Faye Sonja
Emma and Brendan attended church every Sunday and enjoyed their day off. Emma liked to read and Brendan generally rode his horse. Never once had he suggested they have family over; he really seemed to have wiped his hands of his brother.
Maggie spent a lot of time with them, and Emma loved that she could be so close with her. She couldn’t help but think of Aileen, Barnaby’s young wife.
It didn’t seem fair that she should be excluded because her husband was a scoundrel. She should at least get the opportunity to be a part of the family. Perhaps she’d visit her and invite her for a lemonade.
Everything was ready for the afternoon charity work and Emma noticed the clock said five minutes past the hour. That was unusual; the group was always early rather than late. She waited another five minutes and then walked outside to see if anything had happened to hold them up along the street.
She peered into the sunny street, but there was no sign of them. Surely she hadn’t gotten her days mixed up. It was Wednesday. Going back into the lounge bar, she thought perhaps the clock had faltered for some reason. She was about to go and ask Brendan when Maggie came in the door.
“Maggie? What’re you doing here?”
“Lass…Emma, the ladies won’t be here today for craft, and possibly not next week either.”
“Are they ill?”
“No.” Maggie looked wholly uncomfortable and looked at Emma with sorrow. “I don’t listen to idle gossip, you know that, but well, they don’t know you as well as I do.”
“What are you talking about, Maggie?”
“It’s Barnaby. He couldn’t leave well enough alone. He’s been saying things about you, before you came here. He says he has proof.”
Emma’s heart raced. She knew just what he had proof of. “Let me guess. I’ve been to prison, convicted of prostitution.”
Maggie looked at her in surprise. “Yes. But…”
“It’s quite true, Maggie. I’ve been trying to tell Brendan about this since I married him but he won’t hear of the past being spoken. Now, look how it’s come back to bite me.”
Emma looked up and saw Maggie with her mouth wide open, and struggling to think of what to say by the looks of it.
“Oh, I mean…yes, I’ve been to prison but I’ve never been a prostitute. I’d never do that. But I was conned by a man I thought loved me and was going to marry me. You do believe me, don’t you, Maggie?”
“I…I, why…yes, of course, but the other ladies are listening to him.”
Emma bunched up her skirts in her hands. “I’d better go put a stop to this then.”
“You’re not going to see Barnaby?”
“Yes, I am. I’m not scared of Barnaby. I can assure you I’ve met women in prison that Barnaby pales in comparison to. I don’t know what happened when Brendan was young, but I certainly don’t have to be intimidated by it. It’s time Barnaby was put in his place.”
“Emma, don’t…his temper…it’s frightening.”
“I don’t care, Maggie. I won’t live in fear of anyone, not after what I’ve been through. No one can hurt me more than I’ve been hurt, and no one can strip me of my dignity because it’s long gone.”
Brendan came in through the side door then. “Emma, I can hear you all the way through the wall, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is the past you insist on keeping buried is now back here to ruin me. Your brother is messing with my good work here, and I won’t stand for it. I’m going to stand up to him.”
“No. I forbid you to go near that…that monster.” Brendan’s face went red and his eyes flashed.
“I must. I won’t let him spread his vicious lies. As you’ll find out soon enough anyway, I spent six months in prison for prostitution. That is what he’s telling everyone and that is why my charity ladies haven’t turned up today.” Emma couldn’t control her anger. It seemed every ounce of what she’d bottled up was now open and she couldn’t get a lid on it again.
“Emma, please. Calm down at least. He feeds off anger. He’ll use it against you.” Maggie looked very worried, but Emma was past the point of return.
“I won’t. I’m going to tell him to leave me alone. He can’t hurt me; he can’t ever do anything to me that hasn’t already been done.”
“Emma, you don’t understand what a man like Barnaby is capable of.” Brendan had a calmness across his voice that had the opposite effect on Emma. She wouldn’t be silenced on this any longer.
“Don’t I?” Her emotions were in overdrive now and she hated every single person on earth right now for what had happened to her at the hands of men, and women, in that hellhole. “You’re wrong, Brendan. I’ve known worse.”
Emma yanked the neck of her dress apart and the top three buttons sprang off with the force. “Do you think I got these playing with the nice people?” Emma bared the misshapen scars on her chest and shoulder, just a small sample of what was on her body. Even cigarettes had been stubbed out on her.
The tears poured down her face when she saw Maggie crying and Brendan just stared at her scars. Emma pulled her shawl around her shoulders and tied it at the front. “I won’t let him do this to me. I won’t let him ruin the only bit of happiness I’ve ever had in my life.”
She turned to the door. “Someone needs to stand up to him and if my husband cannot support me in this, then I’ll be leaving for my sister’s on the weekend alone and I won’t be returning. I thought I could do this, but I need more. I want love, I want to be loved. I want to feel that I’m worthy of being loved by a man.”
Emma ran out the door and onto the hot street; tears poured down her face but she wasn’t stopping until she faced Barnaby and told him how wrong he was and that she wasn’t frightened of him and his threats. She’d start a new life with Ada and she’d find a man to love her for who she was. For the first time in her life Emma knew she deserved to be loved as much as anyone else.
She had a talent. She had a talent for getting people together for a common cause, and she had an innate understanding of people without judgment. She could help people. She could bring happiness to the lives of those who’d given up hope. That’s exactly what she intended to do right after she’d told Barnaby Radcliffe exactly what she thought of him.
Emma ran as fast as her leather boots would take her all the way to the tavern and she burst through the double swinging doors. This was it. This was where her old life ended and her freedom truly began, by facing the horrors behind her and not letting the past define her future.
“Barnaby Radcliffe.” Emma saw him at the bar laughing, drinking and ogling the women serving drinks. “How dare you!”
The place fell silent. Emma walked right up to him. “I’m not afraid of you. I don’t care what you do to me. But I’m here to say you’re a pitiful excuse for a man.”
“So says the prostitute that married my brother.” He sucked on his cigar and laughed.
Emma turned to face everyone. “Yes, I spent time in prison and was convicted of prostitution. I’ve never been a prostitute. I was tricked by a man like Barnaby Radcliffe who used me. I don’t even care if anyone believes me or not. I know, God knows the truth, and that’s all that matters.”
“Of course you are innocent.” Barnaby’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
Emma faced him again. “I don’t care what you say about me. I don’t have to care. I wonder does everyone here know that I came to town because you’d sent for me to marry you, but you married Aileen before I got here and you sent Brendan to tell me at the stagecoach. He married me because he’s trying to make up for the filth that you are.”
“He didn’t marry you for your looks, that’s for sure.” Barnaby’s laugh was the only one in the room.
“That’s enough, brother. I won’t have you speak to my wife that way.”
Emma spun around to see Brendan in the doorway. He’d come to defend her.
* * *
8
Love Blooms
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“No… My son won’t be here to meet you,
as he was married on Sunday just passed.”
.
He walked in and stood beside her and took her hand in his. Emma fought back the tears. She knew she loved Brendan so much, and she wanted him to love her too. She gave Barnaby a defiant look.
Barnaby laughed out loud and long. “Well, here’s a turn up for the books. My brother has finally found a voice.”
Brendan dropped her hand and clenched his fists. Emma had never seen a man so livid, but she knew that feeling well.
“A voice? I had a voice, Barnaby. As a child I had a voice, but you chose not to listen. Isn’t that right?”
Barnaby’s face went red and his words faltered.
“I stood up for you, Barnaby. Time and again with him, that devil disguised as a father that we had. I had a voice then, to save you from his cruelty.”
“Stop talking tomfoolery. The dreams of a child, that’s all.”
Brendan stood very still and ripped his shirt off over his head. “Does this look like it came in a dream, brother? Do you think I did this to myself?”
Everyone in the room gasped and the women covered their eyes. Emma looked upon the mish-mash of scars that covered Brendan’s torso front to back and she knew just how he felt.
“This is what he did to me while you hid away with no ears for my cries. You, ten years my senior. Where was your voice? Where was your voice when I needed you?”
Barnaby smashed his fist into the bar but he said nothing.
“You see, you have no voice when it really counts, Barnaby. Now, I won’t be held under your power anymore. I’ve no need to feel shame and neither has Emma. I expect you to apologize to her, if you find any shred of decency. I can tell you this, if you ever interfere with my business or anyone I love again, Barnaby, I’ll kill you. You of all people know that I am capable of killing, so don’t push me.”
Emma was stunned by what she’d just heard and seen, but mostly by Brendan saying people he loved…did that mean he loved her? He was just saying that for effect. She almost felt sorry for Barnaby, who seemed a foot shorter and emotionally beaten.
What this family had suffered at the hands of their own father was clearly unspeakable. To suffer cruelty and abuse from strangers was one thing, but for it to come from someone who should love and protect you was terrible. Emma did feel for Barnaby in that moment. Clearly he’d been living his life as a lie as well.
While he may never be the man Brendan was, he deserved a chance to be happy. Brendan put his shirt back on and took Emma’s hand again. But she couldn’t leave yet; she could see Aileen hiding at the back, crying. For all her youth, beauty, perfect clothes and makeup, this had hurt her very much as well. Emma prayed Barnaby hadn’t been cruel to her.
Emma asked Brendan to wait a moment and she went up to Barnaby, who didn’t have any light in his eyes right now. “Barnaby, we’re away this weekend, but the next one, I’d be pleased if you and Aileen would join us for afternoon tea on Sunday.”
“Why?”
“God has put us together for some reason and I have to believe it’s because we can mend the hurt of the past together. I’d like to try. I’m sure Aileen would like to know her mother-in-law and sister-in-law a little better.”
“I’m not sure…” Barnaby looked suspicious; of course trust wouldn’t come easily to him.
“You’ve almost two weeks to consider it.” Emma went back to Brendan and put her hand in his. “But heed my warning to not lay a cruel word or blow to your wife, because that will end very badly for you in this town I, would think.”
Together they walked out, their heads held high.
“Thank you, Brendan. That was the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me.”
“It’s not even half of what you’ve done for me, Emma.”
“We’ve a lot of talking to do. I’m glad we’ll be away this weekend.”
“I think I’ll close up early today.” Brendan smiled at her. “I’d like us to talk. I’ve a lot to say.”
Emma looked ahead to the tavern. “I don’t think we’ll be closing early.”
Brendan looked at the tavern as well. Emma saw about twenty men were going into the bar door, and a large group of ladies stood outside the lounge door on the footpath as well. Emma saw Aileen there and waved to her.
“Perhaps we’ll open an hour longer.” Brendan started to run and pulled Emma along with him as she laughed.
“I agree. I’d better go help with the drinks in here and then I’ll need extra crafts for everyone to do.” Emma let go of his hand and ran to the ladies.
“I’ll see you later then.” Brendan called and waved. “Thank you, Emma.”
Emma’s heart soared as high as the mountains. She was happy, and she intended to stay that way for a very long time. Sure they had a long way to go, but at least now her husband was prepared to trust her with his feelings and he really had nothing to hide from anyone now. The whole town would soon know about his childhood ordeal.
Emma made her way through the throng of regular ladies and all the newcomers. “Come in and take a seat, ladies. Get to know those you don’t already know and I’ll be around with lemonades soon.”
One of her regular ladies grabbed her arm on the way past. “Sorry, Emma. We should’ve still been here earlier.”
“Thank you for saying so, Hilda. Now let’s get to work. These winter rugs won’t make themselves.”
* * *
Brendan couldn’t believe what he’d just done in the saloon. He’d bared himself, body and soul, to all that were in there and he’d never felt better. He thought he’d feel shame or guilt if people knew what’d happened. But he didn’t. He was free of the shame, and no one looked at him with pity.
He dreamed of saying those very words to his brother every night of his adult life, but he could never bring himself to say them. But with Emma being so strong and the threat of losing her to her sister’s place forever, Brendan realized that if he wanted to be happy, he had to let it go and not ignore it.
He did love Emma; he loved everything about her. She’d given him the courage to do what he had to do. She’d revealed her awful past and he’d never considered anyone else, let alone the woman he’d married as a stranger, would have scars anything like his.
Now he saw that something like this could only hurt him if he kept it hidden and protected from the world. Not that he’d be revealing himself in the dramatic nature he just had, but his flood of anger and emotions took control of him. The bar was four lines deep and not one person complained, or shouted; they all talked in a civil manner and waited their turn.
That was amazing in itself. “Come on now, men, don’t get too well-behaved on me. A round each on the house!”
They all cheered and someone started to play the piano in a lively jig, and the cards started up as well as the clapping and cheering to the music. Brendan helped his barman pour beer and cider and lined them up along the bar, and each man came and grabbed a drink.
This place was going to be tough to clean in the morning. Tonight he wanted to tell Emma he loved her, and he wondered if she might want to share his bed. He thought having her beside him as he slept would be a fitting end to such a day.
He wasn’t ready for anything more physical, but he knew the Lord would let him know when the time was right. Though he’d started the healing process, it was only a start. But he’d take one day at a time and deal with the past as the emotions came up. He knew he wasn’t alone and he hoped he could help Emma with her ghosts.
It was hard to believe that she could be so giving and caring with people she’d never met considering what had happened to her, but Emma had a special light that shone from within. It was like she had an angel inside her.
The revelry was in full swing now and Brendan smiled at them all having fun or talking at the tables. No one
even looked like starting any trouble and no one complained there were no hard liquors to be had. This was what Brendan wanted, and though he knew there’s be times he’d have trouble, he hoped most times would be like it was right now.
Brendan looked around the room and he just stared when he saw Barnaby walk in through the door. His brother looked every bit of his ten years older and he seemed darker under the eyes. But something about him had changed. Brendan steeled himself, because he’d never been able to trust Barnaby.
He watched his brother walk up to him. No one else seemed to take any notice. Barnaby looked Brendan right in the eye and suddenly Brendan was a small boy again, looking into his big brother’s frightened eyes and wanting to do anything to help him.
“I’m sorry, Brendan. It’s unforgivable, I know. But, I’m very sorry. I was just so scared.”
“I know.” Brendan fought to keep himself together as the emotions from hearing the words he’d waited so long for flooded his senses.
Barnaby turned around and took a couple of steps back toward the door.
“Barnaby…?”
He turned to look at Brendan.
“Here…” Brendan handed him a large glass of beer. “Stay a while.”
Barnaby walked back and sat at the bar on a stool and sipped his beer. “Thanks.”
Brendan went about serving and collecting and every now and again he looked at his brother sitting quietly, letting the world happen around him and not saying a word. Was it too much to believe his brother had hope to change? Brendan wasn’t sure he could believe that, but he’d keep an open mind.
When he’d woken up that morning, he could never have imagined this would happen. It was like he’d watched it all in a movie. His luck had taken a turn for the better. He had to admit that had happened the day Emma Bartholomew had been thrust into his life. Hard to believe it’d taken him a month to work that out.