by Faye Sonja
The man sighed. “I’m sure, Ms. Grace.”
Hannah swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn’t hear anything over the beating of her heart now. She couldn’t let her pa ruin her new life the way he’d ruined her childhood. She needed to tell Mark the truth, but still hadn’t figured out how to do that. She needed more time. “Please Mr. Tumble, don’t tell my father that I’m alive.”
“It’s too late.”
Hannah’s heart sank. “What do you mean?” She was shaking now.
“Ms. Grace, I’ve known who you were for quite some time now. You may have had this town fooled, but not me. I alerted your papa a month ago. I believe he is on his way.”
A month ago? That meant her pa could be anywhere by now. He could be lurking around somewhere, ready to pounce out and ruin her happiness. “No, Mr. Tumble. You have to lie. Tell him I’m not who you thought I was.”
“What’s going on here?” Mark asked.
Hannah jumped at the sound of his voice, falling backwards, and almost choking on her own breath. No! Her worst nightmare was coming to life. He knew. Mark now knew and she hadn’t been the one to tell him. Hannah hadn’t been given the chance to butter him up and let him know in the gentlest manner she could find, sharing with him all her fears, her hopes and her dreams. She wanted more than anything to tell him. But she wanted to tell him herself, and in her own time. He shouldn’t have discovered the truth like this.
Mark’s footsteps could be heard coming into the house. Hannah began to crawl backwards, away from the sound of his steps, away from his presence. “Mark, I’m sorry.” Tears were in her eyes. She kept crawling backwards, until she felt herself hit a wall, and then she balled herself into the corner. Her head in her lap, her arms around her knees. Her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest. She could feel an intense heat rising from her stomach to her forehead.
In the distance, she could hear the front door shut. Then, footsteps drew near. Hannah swallowed again. She wasn’t afraid of Mark hitting her. No, Hannah was afraid of Mark doing something that would hurt her much, much worse. Something that would hit her like a mule kicking. Hannah didn’t want Mark to leave her, or rather, make her leave. She loved this place, she loved the town, her friends, her music box, her home, her place at Mark’s side. Her husband. His kisses. His words; the sweetest words that Hannah had ever heard. She wouldn’t feel this way anywhere else in the world. This was her only chance at happiness. She wanted this happiness so bad. It was hers. She wouldn’t give it up. She wouldn’t give any of it up. No, not without a fight.
Hannah’s head popped up just as Mark’s hand touched her knee. “No,” there was anger now. Fear had driven Hannah to anger.
“No, what?” Mark asked.
“I’m not leaving, Mark. You can’t make me. I love you and I’m saying.”
“Okay.”
“You can’t…” Hannah stopped. What did he just say? “What did you just say?”
“I said, ‘okay’.”
Hannah dropped her arms, her knees slide out in front of her until they hit something hard, probably Mark. “Aren’t you mad?”
Mark scoffed. “Mad about what? That you weren’t blinded from the train wreck? That you’ve been blind for a really long time?” His voice sounded sarcastic. Upset. “Am I mad that you’re not the Sarah Inch that I wrote letters to months ago? That you are in fact some Hannah Grace woman from Boston who lied to me just to get me to marry you? You want to know if I’m mad?”
“You have every right to be mad.”
“I am shocked more than anything. Mad? Yes, maybe a little. But only because you’ve drug this out for so long. Were you ever going to tell me? Would you have ever trusted me with your little secret?”
Hannah reached out to touch Mark. Her hand lightly grasped his arm. More than ever, her wish was that she could see him, though part of her could sense that he would have pain and hurt in his eyes. She could hear it in his voice. Hannah sighed. “I wanted to. So many times, I wanted tell you the truth, but I didn’t know how.”
“We’ve been married for one month, Hannah. You had every opportunity to tell me who you were.”
Hannah wiped her eyes. “I know, and I hate that you have to find out this way.”
There was a long pause. Hannah grew nervous. “Mark?”
“I already knew.”
Hannah stilled. “What do you mean?”
Mark released a heavy breath. “I didn’t know exactly who you were, but I suspected almost two weeks into our marriage that you weren’t Sarah, but the day we rode back home from the church, that’s when it had been confirmed to me. You’d never been on a horse before that day. The Sarah I wrote to loved riding horses. Is Sarah even your real middle name?”
It was Hannah’s turn to sigh. “No, it’s Opal.”
Mark scoffed. “Opal,” he said to himself, trying the new name out. Then there was another lull in the conversation. Mark stood up a moment later and plucked Hannah off the floor. He walked her over to the dining table, helping her to take a seat. He then walked to the other side of the table, pulled a chair across the wooden floor, the legs scraped across the worn and dried wood, and he quickly took a seat, sighing one last time. “Tell me everything, and start from the beginning.”
Hannah did, and did so without leaving anything out. She told him about meeting Sarah Inch, the train wreck, and then waking up with him in her sick room. She also told him about how she’d grown up. She confessed to being blind and living most of her life at the School for the Blind.
“I has suspected the train wreck hadn’t blinded you. After a while, I knew you’d been blind for quite some time. Hannah, you can do a lot of things much better than most seeing folk can, me included.”
“I’m sorry I lied. It just happened so quickly and you were so nice. I didn’t want to miss this last shot at happiness.”
“This all seems so unreal,” Mark said.
Hannah could feel her palms sweating. She wiped them down her dress. “So, what are we going to do now?”
“What do you mean?” Mark asked.
“Do you still want to be married to me?”
“Hannah, I took an oath before God. I keep my promises.”
It wasn’t the answer Hannah wanted to hear, though she knew she shouldn’t expect anything more, in fact, maybe less. She deserved whatever consequences came her way. When Hannah had woken up that fateful morning and felt the touch of Mark’s hand, and the gentle press of his lips to her forehead, Hannah had known immediately. Her instincts had been correct. Mark was a good man. He wouldn’t send her out into the cold or back east. But, even still, Mark keeping his promise wasn’t what Hannah had hoped to hear. Hannah wanted to know what lay in his heart, but she didn’t ask. She couldn’t ask. Yet, there was something else she could ask about. “Tell me about your childhood, Mark. The day you bought Charlie’s piano, you mentioned something about never getting gifts.”
“I was wondering when you’d ask.”
“Please, tell me?” Hannah whispered. Now that the cat was out of bag, Hannah was free to explore her curiosity. Part of her knew she was asking because wives’ should know certain things about her husbands, and part of her needed to know what made Mark the man is.
“Daniel isn’t my real brother.”
Hannah was surprised. “What do you mean?”
“We never had parents, Hannah. All we had was the favor of a woman who loved us until her dying breath. She took us in and loved us, expecting nothing in return.”
“I’m sorry to hear that she died. How old were you when that happened?”
“Fourteen. Daniel was sixteen. She was murdered right in front of us.”
The confession shocked Hannah. “Are you serious?”
“Yup.”
Hannah’s hands flew to her chest. “Oh, Mark. That’s such a horrible thing for anyone to see. I’m so sorry.”
Mark laughed. “Yeah, it was pretty awful, but it wasn’t the first horror I�
��d witnessed.”
“Being an orphan, I could imagine.”
Mark was silent for a moment. When he spoke next, his voice seemed distant and far away. “No. You can’t.”
“What you mean?” Hannah asked.
And so, Mark did what Hannah had requested. He told her about his childhood. Mark told her about Tobias Steele, and of being a member of the gang. Never actually killing, but being a witness to it. Stealing money from both the rich and the poor. It was the darkest time in Mark’s life. It was a time he’d never forget, but would always remember that he’d been forgiven for. God had forgiven him.
Mark hadn’t been sure of that forgiveness until three years ago when Tobias, Kansas’ notorious outlaw, had found them. Before that morning in the Kansas desert, neither Daniel nor Mark had seen Tobias in over twenty years. At the unfortunate reunion, Tobias had given the men two options: rejoin the gang or die. Mark had chosen to die. No more would he sin against God and man out of his own greed or the greed and malice of Tobias. He’d changed his life and would die for the cause of Christ. But God had other plans. Mark felt he was spared. He was convinced that it was divine intervention. He survived that day after making a promise to do God's bidding. It was the reason Mark was the pastor of the church. It was also part of the reason Mark would keep his vow to Hannah.
Once he was done with his tale of triumph, Mark stood up.
“Where are you going?” Hannah asked.
“I’m not going anywhere. You are.”
Hannah panicked. “What do you mean?”
“Faith and Katherine want you to get ready for the dance at Faith’s house. I’m to take you over there. It’s why I came back home.”
Hannah calmed, but only slightly. “Are you still going to the dance?”
“I’ll be there,” but there was no indication of how he felt about it. There wasn’t any happiness in his words, but Hannah didn’t detect sadness either. His voice had gone neutral, which she found to be unlike Mark.
She could hear him approaching, the sound of his footsteps stopped at her feet. “Give me your hand, Hannah.”
Hannah did and then she let Mark escort her out of the house and into the wagon. The ride to Faith’s was short, but it seemed to take forever, due to the awkward silence between the two. When they arrived, Mark came around to her side and helped her down.
“So, I’ll see you in a few hours?” Hannah asked.
“Yup.” Mark replied. Then he walked her to Faith’s door.
“I’ve got it from here,” Hannah said.
“I bet you do,” Mark replied under his breath before leaving her to herself. The night was not looking up. Hannah wasn’t sure what to do. She heard Mark’s wagon pull away and then she heard Faith’s door open.
“Hey,” Faith had cheer in her voice. “Are you ready to break a few hearts tonight?”
Hannah opened her mouth to reply, but words didn’t come out. Only tears. She was crying. She’d lost Mark. Not from her life, but perhaps his heart.
* * *
The dance started less than an hour ago and Mark was having the worst time of his life. The field had been decorated with torches providing light for everything from the dance floor to the buffet table. Everyone in town had brought their best dishes in celebration of the end of the harvest. Come winter, the only things that would grow would be a few vegetables and sweet potatoes. But wheat? Kansas was known for it’s wheat. It was how all the farmers made their livings. With the crop that came this year, everyone seemed to be in high spirits. Everyone, but Mark.
The band was playing a song that had most people showing off their best moves.
“Have you eaten yet?” Daniel asked as he came to stand by Mark, a cup of punch in hand. Most of the men didn’t dress up for the event. Dancing on the dry Earth would only kick dirt and dust up into the air. The women on the other hand didn’t care so much. They all looked their very best for the occasion. Mark had put on a new white shirt, jeans, and boots. He thought he looked pretty good and he got a few confirming glances from some of the women in attendance. But he didn’t pay them any mind. “No, I haven’t eaten yet.”
Daniel choked on his drink. “You haven’t eaten? You’re the only man I know you likes food more than I do.”
Mark cut his eyes at Daniel. “Yeah, well, I’m not hungry.”
“What did you do now?” Daniel narrowed his eyes.
Mark looked over at Daniel without so much as moving his head. “For once, it wasn’t me.” But he wouldn’t tell his friend more. He could tell that Daniel wanted to ask, but didn’t. Mark was grateful for that, because, honestly, Mark didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about any of it. Was Hannah even technically his wife? Had he truly made a vow of marriage to Hannah or had it been to who Hannah had pretended to be? Did it matter?
Daniel studied him for a moment. “Where’s Hannah?”
“Where’s Katherine?” Mark shot back.
Daniel sighed. “They must still be with Faith. You know women. They always have to make an entrance.”
Mark grunted.
“Don’t mess this up, Mark.”
Mark narrowed his eyes, turning fully to Daniel. “I have no idea what you mean.”
“You’re happy, Mark.”
Mark turned away from Daniel. “You don’t know what I am.”
Daniel scoffed. “We’ve known one another our whole lives. I think I know you better than you want to admit.”
Mark didn’t respond. A few hours ago, Mark wouldn’t have hesitated to agree. Hannah did make him happy. She was the first woman who’d managed to be equally as sweet as she was stern with him. Most women in Mark’s life had allowed him to run all over them. Mark, as a young man, didn’t have a lot, but he had his looks. Once Mark realized that women went wild for his liquid pool baby blue eyes and dark blond hair, he’d used it against them, but not with Hannah. Hannah couldn’t see, so she couldn’t be persuaded one way of the other. Yet, Mark was pretty sure that even if Hannah could see him, she’d still be the same woman. His only problem was, ‘Who the hell is Hannah Grace?’
Hannah had lied to him about her name, where she was from, her history, her inability to see. Had she lied about anything else? Did she lie about loving him too? That’s what Mark was really worried about. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was afraid that his sweet little Hannah had used him. Perhaps, she didn’t love Mark, but just loved what he could do for her. Here he was, able to give Hannah the life she’d only dreamed about, but could Hannah do the same for him? The thought that everything Hannah had ever said to him was all an act is what hurt Mark the most. It couldn’t have hurt worse if she’d ran him over with a wagon.
“They’re here!”
Mark turned and watched as Faith stopped her wagon by all the other wagons. Katherine got down and then went to back to most likely retrieve Hannah. They both looked lowly. Mark started towards them trying not to think about all his problems, but stopped once he saw Hannah.
Hannah looked amazing. Her dress was done in all white, the only woman who’d dared to wear it. The buttons, mother of pearl, went all the way up until they stopped at a lace that covered her neck. It looked beautiful against her porcelain skin. But what Mark loved the most was the contrast of her skin against her hair. Her long raven black hair had been done up in curls and fanned her small face and cascaded over her shoulders. Mark didn’t realized he’d been staring until Faith nudged him. Then, as though, she’d switched a lever, Mark spoke. “Hi.” It was the best he had.
“Hello,” Hannah replied.
“Hannah?”
Mark turned just as he was approached by a man he didn’t know. He was much older than Mark, very tall, and very thin. He spoke as if he were from back east. Mark hadn’t noticed his presence until that very moment, but realized he should have. The man, with the short gray hair, and a mustache to boot, was the only man there in a suit and tie. The stranger didn’t seem to care. His blue eyes stayed transfixed on Hannah.
“Hannah? Is that you?”
Mark placed an arm around Hannah’s waist and realized that she was shaking. He didn’t know if that was caused by the man before them, or if perhaps it was Mark who was causing her to be uncomfortable. Either way, Mark wasn’t moving. Something didn’t seem right about the situation. “Hannah, do you know this man?”
Hannah’s voice came out as a whisper. “Papa?” Her question was one of shock and caution.
The man took a step forward, but paused when he saw the look on Mark’s face. So this is Mr. Grace? He thought to himself. He didn’t look anything like Hannah, Mark thought. The man continued to talk.
“Hannah, I’ve been looking everywhere for you?”
Hannah’s voice became a little firmer. “Why?”
The man looked surprised now. “Why? Because they told me you were dead. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. And when they shipped me your body, it wasn’t you. Why did you lie to me? Everyone thought I was crazy, but I know what my daughter looks like.”
“How could you know?” Hannah asked. There was anger in her voice now. “You barely came to visit me at The School and when I tried to come home you didn’t even want to see me.” Mark tightened his hold on Hannah as pain and hurt began to show in her voice. “You only saw me a handful of times since I was a small child and this is most you’ve ever said to me. Ever. So why are you here?”
Mr. Grace looked surprised. He looked over at Mark. “You must be her husband.”
“I am,” Mark confirmed without even thinking about it. At the moment, Hannah needed him and Mark wasn’t going to let her down.
“Could I have a few minutes with my daughter alone?” Mr. Grace asked.