by Faye Sonja
Isabella shook her head. "No, of course not," she said, gazing into her husband’s deep brown eyes. "I could never regret that. You try my patience at times Kit, and Lord knows it's not always easy, but I've never been happier before in my life, than being here with you."
"You really mean that?"
"I really do."
* * *
"I'm exhausted," Isabella said, slumping down at the dining table and resting her head against her arms. "Oh," she groaned, "I feel as though I could fall asleep right here."
"I'll get you some tea," Kit offered.
"No, I'm too hot. Water is fine."
Kit nodded and headed to the kitchen. In front of him on the stove sat a pot of water, which he walked towards and stuck a finger in, to check the temperature.
Cold.
Kit had to think for a moment. "Is this the water I boiled this morning, cooled down? Or is it fresh water from the lake that hasn't been sterilized yet?"
He thought good and hard for a good few minutes, not wanting to make a mistake. "I think drinking the fresh water from the lake can't do no harm, but Isabella believes otherwise. And I don't want to upset her again, nor make her ill." He peered at the water. "It must be boiled. I wouldn't have put a fresh batch on, and then just forgotten about it."
But he had been getting awful forgetful recently, so he poured the water into the mug with some trepidation.
"Ah, it'll be fine," he said to himself. "After all, what's the worst that can happen?"
* * *
"Arggh," Isabella groaned, doubled over, clutching her stomach. Kit came running into the room, anguished after hearing his wife groaning in such distress.
"Whatever's wrong, my love?" he asked, seeing Isabella on her knees next to the basin, beads of sweat forming on her forehead.
Kit's stomach dropped. A sharp pang shot through his chest as he thought, "Oh no, the water. It must not have been boiled after all."
Isabella groaned again. Kit leapt forward and helped her up, lifting her up as well as he could with his good arm, carrying her to the bed. "You need to lie down," he said, his heart beating as the guilt flowed through him.
"How could I have been so thoughtless, so reckless? Oh, I should have listened to Isabella all this time. She knew what she was talking about."
He laid her down on the bed, then looked towards the ceiling as he said a prayer. "God please let her be alright and I'll never disobey a word she says ever again. And I'll never be so reckless with health, or with the water. Oh, I'm sorry God, please just take care of her. Make me sick if you must, but please take this illness from Isabella."
Finishing his prayer, he looked down to see Isabella shaking on top of the bed, so he raced to fetch more blankets, before wrapping them around her. "The water must have given her an awful fever," he thought, his guilt growing worse and worse. "Oh, I should go and drink that water myself; I deserve to endure the punishment."
But he realized doing so would be foolish, and would only make matters worse. He needed to be strong and well, for now it was Isabella who needed caring for, and Kit had to look after her, nurse her back to health.
"She's relying on me now," he thought, as he looked around desperately for anything that might help him. A cloth, a bucket, Isabella's doctor's bag...He wasn't used to playing doctor, and now he desperately wished he'd listened to Isabella's lectures about medicine. "What do I do for her?" he thought, at the same time also repeating the thought, "this is all my fault, this is all my fault."
* * *
"Isabella? Kit?" a voice called from outside the house. Kit recognized that it belonged to Susan, but he had no intention of leaving Isabella's side to greet a house guest. He turned back to Isabella and continued to dab her forehead with a wash cloth, ignoring the calls.
But Susan persisted, and eventually Kit got fed up and stamped towards the door just so he could tell her to be quiet. Isabella needed peace right now, and Susan calling out wasn't helping the situation any.
"Susan, what is it?" he demanded. "You're making an awful racket out here, and..."
"I was just coming to see how Isabella is," Susan said. "She wasn't feeling too well today at work and I was a bit worried about it."
Kit froze for a second. "She was sick at work today?"
"Yes, well, she seemed a bit off, anyway. Acted like it was nothing, but she's always on top of her game, so I knew something was wrong. Wasn't she feeling sick when she came home?"
Kit pondered for a moment, thinking back to how Isabella had been when she'd arrived home from work. "Come to think of it, yes. She was. She was completely exhausted, and she complained of being hot even though it was freezing cold outside. I thought she was just tired from a long day, but maybe it was more than that.”
“There’s an illness going around, I’m afraid,” Susan commented. “With all the patients Isabella sees every day, it’s no wonder she got ill. Was probably only a matter of time.” She stopped speaking when she saw the look of relief…almost, happiness on ’it's fac“. "Kit, why do you look so pleased that Isabella is sick?"
"Oh," he said, shaking his head. "Oh, I'm definitely not pleased that she is ill. Far, far from it. I'm just pleased that I am not the one to blame. Hang on, can you wait here for one moment?"
"Er, sure."
Kit closed the door halfway and went back into the kitchen, where he saw Isabella's cup from earlier still sitting on the dining table. He raced over and looked at the contents. It was still full. Hadn't even been touched. He heaved a huge sigh of relief. Even though he was still confident that the water had been boiled, he now knew with certainty that he had not made her sick. She had simply caught the illness from one of her patients.
He walked back to the door. "She is rather ill, I'm afraid," he said.
"Oh no," Susan replied. "Can I help in some way?"
Kit shook his head. "I'm grateful for the offer, but I really should get back to her."
Susan frowned and tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure? I thought you didn't know much about medicine, Kit."
"I know how to take care of my wife when she is sick," he said, then added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I know you're just worried about Isabella."
"I can see you are too, Kit," Susan replied. "I just want to know that she's in good hands."
"She is," Kit reassured her. "I won't let any harm come to her."
"Alright," Susan said, turning to leave. "Please come and get me if you need anything. Jedediah and I will help you in any way we can."
"I certainly don't need Jedediah thinking I can't take care of my wife in an emergency." Still, as he waved Susan off, he caught himself. He wouldn't let his pride get in the way of Isabella's health. He decided that if Isabella took a turn for the worse in the night then he would send for help, but until then, he was going to step up, and take care of his wife the way a husband ought to.
* * *
9
The Seasons Change
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“ How could I start over again,
here, even if I wanted to? "
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As the night grew colder, Isabella only appeared to grow hotter, and Kit was busy supplying fresh cool wash cloths for her forehead. He'd remembered Isabella telling him once that this was how to treat a fever, and he was grateful that at least one thing seemed to have stuck in his head.
He was sitting on a seat beside her, just about to nod off to sleep when she made a pained noise that jolted him back awake.
"Isabella," he whispered. "Are you okay?"
She groaned, moving her head so that the wet towel fell off, onto the pillow. He raced over and replaced it on her forehead. Even from that brief touch he could tell she was still running an awful fever.
He sat down beside her and hung his head in his hands. "If only there was someone I could call for you! But you're the town's only doc
tor! What does the doctor do when she gets sick? Who is there to turn to?"
Isabella groaned again and turned her face to look at him. "You're going to have to take care of me, Kit. You're going to have to be my doctor." Her voice was croaky and strained.
"Stop speaking, then," Kit said, brushing his hand against her cheek. "That's the first thing. You need to stay quiet and still."
She shook her head slightly. "I need to tell you what to do...I need..." she tried to speak, but the words just wouldn't come out. Her throat was burning, and so swollen that it was almost sealed tight.
"You don't need to tell me what to do. I'll figure it out," Kit said gently. "I'm your husband, you're my wife and I can figure out how to take care of you when you're sick. This is what I'm here for."
She smiled weakly before she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
There was a knocking on the door and Kit raced to see who it was. "Oh, hello Susan," he said politely, holding the door back for her.
"I just came to check on how Isabella was doing," Susan said, her face contorted with concern. "I'm so worried about her."
Kit swallowed, trying not to let the worry show on his own face. "She's doing a bit better," he said softly.
"Is she? You don't sound so sure."
Kit shook his head. "To be honest, I don't know what else to do for her. I keep changing her washcloth, hoping the fever is going to come down, but it doesn't seem to be doing no good."
"Can I take a look at her?"
Kit nodded, and Susan began to walk towards the bedroom. "She's sleeping," Kit explained. "Has been for two days now."
"We need to get her to drink some fluids," Susan said, and Kit nodded. "Do you have clean drinking water?"
Kit nodded with more vigour. "Oh yes, got plenty of that. Made sure of that, don't worry."
"Good," Susan replied. "Now you go get the water and I'll wake her gently."
After a few minutes Kit came in with the water, and, with Susan's help, they managed to get her to sip a few mouthfuls. But her lips still looked dry, and there was a hint of blueness surrounding them.
"Thanks for helping out," Kit said. "I wouldn't be much use trying to hold her mouth open, while pouring in the water. Not in my condition."
Susan glanced over at his missing limb and smiled kindly. "Don't worry, you're doing a great job. You did the right thing keeping the washcloth clean and cool. That would have been a great help."
He sighed. "Doesn't feel like I'm doing any good. I feel useless. I hate feeling like this."
He glanced over at his darling Isabella, who was lying there more peacefully now she'd had a drink of water. "I suppose this is how Isabella must feel at times," he said gently. "Wondering if she is even making a difference, feeling helpless. Wondering if there is any point trying to help people."
Susan chuckled a little. "She does an amazing job, though."
Kit nodded. "She does."
"And you're doing a great job, Kit. Isabella will be fine. We just need to keep her clean and warm, keep giving her plenty of fluids, and she'll be recovered in no time. Don't worry."
* * *
"Woah there, you shouldn't be up and about," Kit said, dropping his armful of firewood onto the floor.
"I feel fine," Isabella said, stretching her arms up. "As though I've slept for a hundred years."
"You practically did," Kit said, admiring the fresh, bright look in her eyes. "You really do look much better. Healthy, even."
Isabella grinned and walked towards her husband. "I think I had a good doctor looking after me."
"Aw, shucks," he said, looking at the ground. "I had help from Susan. She seemed to know what to do, more than I did."
"You did wonderfully," Isabella said softly. "It was you who stayed up with me all night when my fever was bad, giving me water, changing my washcloth. You know, Kit, you wouldn't make such a bad doctor yourself.
He let out a jolly laugh, throwing his head back. "I wouldn't go that far."
"Yeah, that might be pushing it a little," Isabella replied, laughing. She walked over and put her arms around her husband, pulling him in for a tight embrace. "Thank you Kit. You took care of me when I needed it the most."
* * *
The smell of pine tree was heavy in the air as Isabella locked her arm though Kit's as they took a walk to the edge of the woods. Kit sighed. "Do you think he's going to be alright without me?"
Isabella glanced over at Jedediah and took in the sight of him over by the trees, hunched over, chopping wood like a mad man. She laughed. "I would say he's going to be just fine."
"I still don't feel right, leaving him like this." Kit had mixed feelings right then, and needed Isabella to reassure him that he was doing the right thing.
Isabella squeezed his arm tight. "I know it's difficult for you, but you're better suited to a different lifestyle now Kit. I know you can be brave enough to come to accept that."
"Out of the two of us, I think you're the brave one, Isabella."
They stood in silence for a few minutes, each pleased to just feel the company of the other one beside them. A warm breeze pushed past them, brushing Isabella's cheek, and she realized that for the first time since she'd arrived in White Elk, there was no chill in the air. "Spring must be just around the corner,” she commented.
"Don't get too used to this warm spell," Kit chuckled. "It stays pretty cool down here by the edge of the woods, even in the summer months."
"Well, let's enjoy it while it lasts."
* * *
They walked home together, Isabella soaking up the sunlight on her face. But as she glanced besides her, she was surprised to find that Kit didn't look to be enjoying it quite so much.
"What's wrong?" she asked gently.
"I was just thinking about something," he murmured.
"What were you thinking?" she asked, linking her arm back through his. "Please tell me."
He walked for a few meters, before he began to speak. "I never told you this, but during the war, when I got..." he stopped and swallowed, then took a deep breath. "When I got my injury. Had my arm amputated..."
"Yes?" Isabella said, her voice kind and warm, as she gazed up at her husband. "You can talk to me about it Kit. What happened?"
"It's just...the doctors. Who did the procedure. The ones who took the arm off. They didn't do a real nice job of it, Isabella. It wasn't a good experience." He stopped talking again for a moment, and Isabella though she saw the glint of a tear in his eyes. "I wouldn't wish for anyone in the world - not even my worse enemy - to go through that."
Isabella squeezed his arm as she snuggled into him. "Oh, Kit. I never wanted to push, but I thought it might be something like that. I can't imagine the pain you must have gone through." She looked up at him. "Makes sense, why you're so wary of doctors," she said, understanding now.
"I just wish those doctors had been like you," he commented.
She squeezed his arm again and they walked quietly for a few minutes, each grateful to have the other one next to them. "I'm glad to hear you say that," Isabella said finally. "Sometimes I wonder if I even do any good, if I am any use to anyone."
"I struggle with those feelings as well," Kit admitted. "Feeling useless. Ever since we got back from battle, I wonder if there's anyone who still needs me around. Thomas and Jedediah don't need me anymore."
"Hey," she said. "Sure they do. Especially Thomas. He may act proud and brave, but he's just a kid still. With his father gone, he needs you now. More than he did before, even on the battlefield.”
Kit sighed. “I’ll do what I can for the boy, try to help him find his way a little. Though he is convinced he runs this town, and doesn’t need me.”
“He knows deep down that he does. Just don’t give up on him.”
“I won’t,” Kit reassured her, leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead. He smiled a little. “You always tell me exactly what I need to hear, Isabella, even if I don’t want t
o hear it.”
“Especially when you don’t want to hear it. That’s when you need it the most.”
“That’s true,” he chuckled. “Sorry I’ve been so dang stubborn all this time, Isabella."
"It's okay," she said, wrapping her arm around him. "You come ‘round to things in your own time. And even when you're being pigheaded, you're still kind to me, and you still take care of me. You're a good husband, Kit, and I couldn't wish for anyone better. I'm so glad I came here to White Elk."
"I'm glad of it too," Kit said. "We all are."
* * *
Epilogue
White Elk,
1871 Six Months Later.
Spring came and went in White Elk, and soon it was summer. Kit had been right with his earlier warning - even in the summer months, White Elk retained a chill in the air. Especially down beside the lake, where the wind blew over the icy surface, sending shivers over the skin of anyone who stood near it.
"Funny, isn't it," Isabella commented to Susan one morning. "All those rumors we heard about this place, before we arrived. I always thought they were silly, but standing here, besides this lake with a temperature that never rises, you have to wonder, don't you?"
Susan laughed. "Never thought I'd hear you speak like that, Isabella. You're starting to sound like Kit and Jedediah."
"I wouldn't go that far." Isabella looked over the water. "I guess some things just can't be explained. There is a strangeness to this place, even I have to admit it. But maybe it's not our place to try and explain it."
"At least people are no longer getting sick from the water," Susan pointed out. "Thanks to you."