by Faye Sonja
Clara smiled and hugged them both. There were the women she was used to being around. The man-hating, take-no-prisoners, strong, authoritative women she’d come to love. She held them close to her and agreed. Yes, she’d write Joe back. Their friendship may have been on thin ice, but it was no reason to leave him ignorant. A woman, a young woman, could do anything a man could.
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7
Chapter SEVEN
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“ Joe wasn’t waiting for a good woman. He
wasn’t waiting for anyone, but Clara Cain. ”
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Joe could not believe what he was reading. C.C. Reed was in her late twenties. He was amazed. It had only taken him a week before hearing back from her; each letter still came from Eve’s hand. Eve was his connection to the writer, which led Joe to believe that perhaps C.C. Reed lived in Haines. Could she? It was all Joe thought about while pumping weights. Tom got his attention. “Think I can take Lily out tomorrow after church?” He was doing arm curls on a chair next to him.
They were at the YMCA. Tom, Robert, Benjamin, and Joe had coordinated their schedules to meet at least once a week. Outside of that one meeting, the men would workout in their own time. Sometimes, instead of the YMCA, they went golfing. But the weather was poor for golf at the moment.
Joe frowned and put his weight down. “No.”
Tom put his down as well. He smiled. “Joe, I’m in love with Lily.”
Joe’s eyes went wide. “Does she know?”
Tom nodded. “I told her the other day.”
“Does she love you back?”
Tom nodded again.
Joe sighed and shook his head. He tried to stop himself from smiling, but he couldn’t. “Wow.”
Tom smiled. “Yeah.”
Joe closed his eyes. He wiped both of his hands down his face. “How long will it be before you’re asking me if you can marry her?” He was smiling when he’d asked the question, but the serious look on Tom’s face made Joe’s smile fall. He stood. “No.”
Tom stood too. “Joe, I make a good living.”
Robert came into the small weight room dressed in a men’s short suit. The khakis shorts stopped at the knees where they hung wide. The matching coat was loose, exposing the white shirt underneath. His red hair looked mused from activity, but his dark blue eyes just shined. Like everyone else, he was dressed and ready to exercise. “The other men are ready to start the volleyball game.”
Joe walked over, wearing his own navy blue shorts suit. Tom caught up with the men wearing his brown short suit. “Joe, I make Lily happy.” Joe tried to ignore Tom, but the man was persistent. The game, as usual, was the old against the young. All of Joe’s friends on one side, while some of the older business and shop owners stood on the other. It was a friendly competition and both sides won equally. Staying fit was a big thing in Haines. Tom stood on the front row with Joe. “Can I marry her, Joe?”
The ball came over the net. Ben, on the back row called for it. “I’ve got it.” He bumped it forward. Joe lined himself up for the shot. He bent his knees and leaped into the air. The ball made a loud smack as it collided with his open palm. One minute it was there, and the next it was gone. It vanished in lightening speed over to the other side of the court. No one stood a chance of stopping it. Point for the young men. The rest of Joe’s team came over and patted him on the back, but Joe didn’t react. His full attention was on Tom. “You’ve only been dating her for two weeks, Tom. The answer is no.”
Tom frowned. “How long do you want me to wait, Joe?” Tom narrowed his eyes. “Ten years?”
The fight started before anyone could stop it. Arms, fists, and legs went flying between the men. They had to be pulled apart. It was Pastor Jedidiah West, who’d been playing for the other team that sat them down. He was furious. “You boys do know that it’s the Young Men’s Christian Association, right?” His hands were on his hips. “You two should know better than to fight; especially with all the young men that look up to you two.”
Both men wouldn’t meet Pastor West’s eyes. Tom spoke first. “I started it.”
Joe looked over at him; breathing hard through his anger. His eye was hurting, but he refused to touch it. “Yeah, you did.”
Tom narrowed his pale blue eyes at Joe. “I’m sorry.”
Joe nodded. He looked up at Pastor West. “We’re good now.”
Pastor West crossed his arms. “Isn’t there something you’d like to say to Mr. Neilly, Joe?”
Joe slowly turned back to Tom, who was currently trying to touch his jaw, but would draw away with pain from the gentlest of touches. He was hurt. Joe sighed. “I’m sorry, I hurt you pretty bad.”
“Not sorry that you hit him at all?” Pastor West asked.
Joe shook his head. “He had it coming.”
Tom’s frown fell. “He’s right,” he told Pastor West. “I’d been teasing Joe for awhile now. I had it coming.”
West shook his head. “You boys need to grow up; possibly get yourselves some women to calm you down.”
Joe didn’t even have to look at Tom to see the smile that was coming over his face. Tom’s happiness came through in his words. “That’s all I’ve been trying to do, Pastor West.”
West narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I want to marry Lily.”
West’s eyes went wide. He turned to Joe. “You told him no?”
“Yup.”
“Why?”
“Because, he’s only been dating Lily for two weeks.”
West nodded. “Good man.” West shook his head. “I don’t know what this world is coming to. First, Eve and Robert rushed into their marriage only giving me an hour’s notice, and now this.”
Joe smiled, remembering the deadline that Eve had had to meet in order to keep her father’s company. She’d held out until the very last minute before she finally caved in and married Robert. Now, she couldn’t imagine her life without him. Or so, she had the habit of saying on occasion. They were happy, but Joe didn’t want to chance Lily on that fact. Joe turned to Tom. “If Tom really loves her, he can wait.”
“Agreed,” chimed West.
Tom sighed. He’d stopped trying to touch his jaw. Now, he was simply leaning over his knees. “How long?”
Joe blinked. “How long did Jacob wait for Rachel?”
Tom’s eyes went wide. “Seven years?”
Joe started to smile, but West broke in. “Joe, stop playing with the man.”
Joe’s smile faltered. “Fine. Ask me again in a year.”
Tom’s eyes were still wide. “A whole year?”
Joe stood.
West put a hand on his shoulder. “Joe, calm down.”
Joe didn’t take his eyes off Tom. “I’m asking for a year when I really want two, Tom.” Tom started to speak, but Joe held up his hand. “But, my sister already loves you back, so I’m being nice. If you really love my sister then you will wait, because I’m not just going to hand her over to you, not knowing if you truly care for her happiness. I’m a nice guy, Tom, but I don’t want any misunderstandings when it comes to Lily. I’m not just going to let you play with her for a while and then ditch her for whoever the next girl is that catches your fancy. You give her the respect she deserves for another three hundred and sixty-five days and then ask me again.”
Tom stood. He was upset. “I’d never disrespect Lily.”
Joe’s face went blank. “You better pray you don’t.”
Tom narrowed his eyes, took a few breaths, and then held out his hand. Joe took it. Tom said, “One year and I’ll marry Lily.”
“One year and you ask me again.”
Tom sighed. “Fine.”
Joe nodded.
They dropped hands.
West smiled, placing a hand on them both. “See how we can all come to an agreement when you use your words instead of y
our fists?”
Joe shook his head and wiped his hands down his face. He couldn’t believe that he’d just hit Tom; an officer of the law. Joe also couldn’t believe that he’d just agreed to let Tom date Lily for the next year. He was losing his little sister. He was losing his mind. Why? Clara. Her name floated through Joe’s mind like the memory of an alluring fragrance that lingered even after the beautiful woman was gone. Tom had taunted him with his obvious obsession for her. This was not good. Joe couldn’t live like this. Joe swept a hand through his blond hair; still wet with his sweat. “I’m sorry I hit you, Tom.”
Tom smiled. “It’s alright.” Tom shook his head. “I’ve just never seen you so angry, Joe. You’re normally an easygoing guy. I think I was more surprised than anything that you actually hit me back.”
Joe looked at Tom and remembered Clara’s words about people using him. Was that what Tom had been doing? Seeing how far he could push Joe to the edge? Joe shook his head. He backed away. “I need air.”
West nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.”
Joe turned and left the gym. He made a turn towards the upper residential part of town and just kept walking. He didn’t know where he was going, but he felt like a part of him did at the same time. He didn’t stop walking until he reached the house he’d been looking over. He walked up the steps and knocked; part of him hoping that she wasn’t home, another part of him knowing that he needed to see her.
Clara opened the door and looked up at the man she’d been avoiding for the last week. She looked up into his green eyes, saw how messy his dark blond hair was, and couldn’t stop the smile that came on her face. Her heart jumped.
Joe slowly smiled as well. “I won’t ask to come in, since me being here alone is improper.”
Clara gave him a small smile. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She walked over to the swinging bench that sat on her porch and took a seat. Joe joined her; his eyes never left hers. “I love you, Clara.”
Clara’s entire body went still; everything but her heart, which started to beat at double time. Joe had never said that to her before. She’d always known he had feelings, even in her bouts of denial, but she never thought she’d hear him say them to her. Yet, now that he had, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say. “I don’t know what to say to that, Joe.”
Joe closed his eyes and drew his brows together in pain. “Most people like hearing it said back.”
“Is that why you said it to me? So you could hear it back?”
Joe opened his eyes. “I’m not going to fight with you, Clara.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I want to know how you feel?”
Clara sighed. “Joe, I don’t want to do this right now.”
Joe’s face went plain, but even then, he was beautiful and handsome at the same time. “When do you want to do this, Clara? I never seem to pick the right time.”
Clara fought to meet his eyes. She took his hand in hers. “Joe, can’t you see that what we have is good?”
Joe’s hand tightened around her fingers. “It’s not good enough. It’s not good enough for me, Clara.”
Clara swallowed. “What do you want from me, Joe?”
Joe brought Clara’s hand up, hovering it under his lips. “You know what I want,” he whispered right before he placed the gentlest of kisses on her hand. The soft pressure of his lips spread heat from Clara’s hand into the rest of her. Her heart flipped. Her eyes widened. Just a kiss on her hand and she was having this reaction? Not good.
Clara took back her hand and Joe didn’t stop her. Clara looked down at her hand before looking at him. “No,” her voice was breathy, even to her own ears.
Joe blinked a few times. “Marry me.”
Clara’s eyes went wide. “Joe, stop this.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I hit Tom today.”
Clara’s hands flew to her chest. “Why would you do that?”
Joe narrowed his eyes. “Because he decided to call me out for waiting around for you for the last ten years.” Joe stood. “But I’m not going to wait anymore, Clara.” He held out his hand and Clara slowly took it. He helped her up from the seat and then let her go. “You just want to be friends, fine, but I’ll need some time to myself.”
Clara frowned. “What do you mean?”
Joe shrugged. “Just don’t come around the shop for awhile.”
Clara’s eyes widened. She grabbed the lapel of Joe’s coat. “Don’t do this, Joe. Why are you doing this to me? It’s because I won’t marry you? I’m sorry, but don’t leave me.”
Joe smiled. He brought his hands up to cup Clara’s face. “This is the most you’ve ever shown that you care for me.”
“Of course I care for you, Joe.” Tears quickly welled up in her eyes. “You’re my best friend.”
Joe’s greener eyes began to glisten. “I love you so much, Clara. But unless you’re ready to take us more seriously, I need space.”
“Why?”
“Because, I need to get over you.”
Clara’s hands tightened on his lapel. “I don’t want you to.”
Joe lifted a brow. “What?” His hands dropped from her, going to his side.
“I like that you love me.”
Joe narrowed his eyes, studying her face. Then, as if the smoke cleared, his eyes widened. “You’ve known how I’ve felt and you were content to just let me keep feeling this way forever, huh?”
Clara went still. Joe frowned. His words came out stiff. “Let me go, Clara.”
“No.”
“Let me go or I’ll make you let me go.”
Clara shook her head. “You wouldn’t hurt me, Joe. I know you wouldn’t. You’d never hurt me.”
Joe shook his head. His hands went to his head. “You’re insane, woman.”
Clara let the tears fall down her face now. “What makes you say that?”
“You know that I’d never hurt you. You know I love you, but you still won’t be with me. Why?”
Clara looked away. Joe used her distracted moment to yank himself out of her hold. When she took a step towards him, he took a step back. He held out his hand. “I need time, Clara.”
“How much time?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. A month.”
She crossed her arms; her face hardened. “It’s only going to take you a month to get over me?”
Joe was at the bottom of the steps when he turned around and smiled at Clara. “You are really something else, Clara Cain.”
“Answer the question, Joe Dawson.”
“No, it will take longer than a month to get over you. Maybe I’ll never get over you.”
Clara smiled. Joe’s smile faltered on the ends. “But I’m determined to move on, Clara.” Clara’s smile fell away as well. She sighed. “That’s fair.”
Joe shook his head and turned to leave. Clara called after him. “Are you going to finish the book without me?”
Joe turned to look at her. “I already have.”
Clara’s eyes went wide. She came down the steps. “You read the book without me?”
Joe shrugged. “You’d been avoiding me. What else was I to do?”
Clara narrowed her eyes. “Who’d you finish it with?”
Joe shook his head. “No, you don’t get to ignore me and then get mad if I read it with someone else.”
“Did you finish it with Grace, Tom’s sister? She loves the book.”
Joe narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, Clara.”
“Amy? Did you read it with Amy?”
Joe turned. “Good day, Clara.”
Clara took a few step towards him, but then stopped. She wouldn’t chase a man down the street. She wouldn’t chase any man; ever. If Joe wanted to move on, fine. He wanted a month? Well, how about two? Joe could have all the time he wanted. She wouldn’t let herself be controlled by a man again. The feelings she had for Joe were the exact ones
she’d tried to avoid. Love was just a sickening thing. It sucked the life right out of its victim. Clara had loved her father and had been willing to do anything for him. It had taken her years to see that he’d never loved her back. There had been a night when she’d overheard him negotiating to rent her out to some man for a heavy price. Her father had also said he hadn’t cared what the other man did with her so long as he paid. That was the night Clara had left. She’d packed her bag, stolen his money, and had boarded a wagon that was scheduled to be heading west within the hour. There was no time to wait for a train. She had to be gone before her father noticed. When her cash had run low, she’d started to walk. She’d just made it to Kansas when she was about to have to start selling her clothes. That’s what she’d been getting ready to do when Joe had seen her walking all alone out on that deserted road.
Joe had just been travelling to pick up purchases for his store when he spotted her. She’d looked through the wavy black strands of her long hair as they bellowed in the wind. She’d seen the face of a man and had drawn her weapon. She’d held Joe at gunpoint all the way to Haines. During the ride, he’d been nothing but friendly. Joe had talked the entire ride; telling Clara about his life, his sister, his hopes and dreams. He’d tried to get to know her, but Clara hadn’t given him anything, so he let it go; deciding to fill the air with the sounds of his own voice. Clara had thought Joe to be crazy. What kind of guy picks up a girl he doesn’t know? What kind of guy gives a girl a ride for nothing? No man.
That’s what Clara had believed. She’d expected Joe to ask her for something once he’d stopped the car in Haines, but he hadn’t. Instead, Joe had given her over to Eve; telling Eve that Clara had nowhere else to go and Eve probably had the room in her mini mansion. Eve had been skeptical about letting Clara in, but she’d also been in desperate need of a friend. Joe hadn’t asked Clara for a thing and then had waited a whole year to ask her out on a date. Clara had said no, but their friendship had grown after that. Clara loved Joe, she really did, but she couldn’t be with him. She couldn’t be with anyone. She was damaged goods and Joe deserved someone who was whole; a woman who didn’t have as many holes in her spirit as Clara did. If Clara allowed herself to be with Joe, then there was the chance that Clara would lose herself to a man once again. She didn’t have anything to give Joe. So, it was best if she didn’t let herself get too attached.