She pulled him to her side and then gave him a kiss on the cheek before sending him off again. “Go. Before she leaves and the two of you never talk again.”
His grandmother’s push gave him a head start, but it was up to Nick to walk the rest of the way. He kept his head up. He’d say hi, and thank her for coming. That was enough. Keep things civil he reminded himself.
Olivia stood next to Mimi; the two of them whispered something amongst themselves before turning their attention to him.
“Finally came to say hello?” his sister asked. She took a giant gulp of her drink, “I’m going to get a refill of whatever this is. You two should catch up. Tell her more about your girlfriend.”
She left them alone, not waiting for a response. Nick kept his hands folded behind his back. It almost looked like he was getting ready to bow and ask Olivia for a dance around the non-existent ballroom.
“Do you want to go upstairs to talk?” he asked her. The only private space, free of family and his sister’s glare was the master room.
“Sure,” Olivia said. She didn’t look at him as they climbed the steps. The room smelled of vanilla and sand.
“Your girlfriend, she’s the girl you met on our road trip, right?”
Nick took a seat on the bed next to her. He could feel the weight of the palm tree in his pocket. He had kept it since the night Mimi had given it to him. There had been no luck in his life, and yet he could not part with it.
“Yeah. I didn’t think you would remember. You were really drunk that night.” He paused thinking back to the night in the hotel, the scent of strawberry on Olivia’s lips.
“I wasn’t that drunk,” she said. A soft smile spread on her face, as she remembered. “I’m glad you found someone.”
“I didn’t really find her. We work together,” he said, knowing his unhappiness was seeping through. He didn’t want her to see him like that, like her presence made a difference in his life. Like she wasn’t the reason he had chosen to reject a job offer in Glensford and move down to Shepton.
“I have something for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket before he could finish. The keychain swung around his finger, scratched and battered, the metal still glistened. “It’s yours.”
She didn’t reject the item. Instead, she let it rest on her open palm, staring at it. She smiled again.
“I left it here for you,” she said. “The day we first met. I thought it might really bring you luck.”
“You left it behind on purpose?” he asked.
Olivia nodded. “You needed more luck than I did. I didn’t want it. And now it found its way back to me.”
“Liv,” he began. “What are you really doing here?”
She clamped her hand around the keychain and placed it in the pocket of her sweater.
“I just wanted you to know that I was still here, if you ever needed me. I’m still your friend if you want me to be.”
“I don’t want you as my friend,” he said. “Don’t worry, I don’t want you as my girlfriend either.” The lies were getting harder to say. “I have Joy. She makes me happy, and I’ve been doing fine these past two years without you.”
Olivia bit her lip, she held back for a moment. “I’m glad to hear that. I just wanted to make sure, one last time. I wish you still wanted to be friends, though. I’ve had so much that I haven’t been able to tell you.” She paused, and finally looked up at him. Her gray eyes were glazed. “I understand. I guess I let our friendship slip away too.”
He felt himself scooting toward her, but stopped. What did she want to tell him? Why hadn’t she tried to find him? He’d gone to see her that night. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried. She was with Simon now. She could talk to him. Nick knew he couldn’t stay in the room much longer. The more he watched her, fighting her tears, the more his mask wavered.
“You should go. We’re not friends, and there’s no other reason for you to be here.” He stood up. “I have to get back to Joy.”
Olivia stood up with him. She nodded without objection. “You’re right.” She walked to the door, before turning back around. Then without warning she reached out and wrapped her arms around him, nestling her head against his chest. His heart began to race. She would probably hear it soon. So he gently pushed her away.
“Why did do you that?” he asked.
“One last goodbye,” she said. He could see a tear making its way down her cheek.
“Liv…” he began again. He took a step toward her, ready to give in, to comply with whatever she wanted to do. One word. One command and he would undo everything. She gave him one last smile and walked out of the room. He heard the front door open and close again. No one in his family would notice. He sat on the edge of the bed, convincing himself, that this was the right thing to do.
Without Olivia in his life, things were better. He didn’t want to go through a one-sided love, always wanting more than friendship. It wasn’t fair to either one of them. He kept repeating the lie, but it never quite stuck.
30
July 6, 2014
The box weighed down on Olivia’s palms. She held onto it, as if grasping on for dear life, just a few more steps. Someone pulled the door open for her.
“Go ahead,” the boy said. He looked familiar but the strange part was she didn’t think they had met before. Someone stood behind him, that boy she did recognize. It had been five years, but Diego looked the same as he had the day of her performance, maybe a bit taller, less boyish, almost a man.
“Thank you,” she said to the boy in front of Diego. They followed her into the student union, but unlike her, she assumed they were students. They headed to the elevator, the three of them, strangers. Diego got off on the second floor, the radio broadcast center. The boy who had opened the door for her got off on the same floor as she had. The fourth floor, it had been remodeled from an old student gallery into the offices for a new branch of the student run magazine.
Her mom had decided to sponsor it, and use it as a way to train potential employees and interns for her own magazine. Olivia had volunteered to help move supplies into the offices, not that there was much left to carry. The movers had brought by the desks, printers, and other supplies the week before
“You made it,” her mom said as she passed through the door, which the strange boy held open for her. He gave her a smile, one full of charm and poised elegance. “Lucas, you’re here early. This is my daughter, Olivia.”
Olivia turned and shook hands with the Lucas fellow. His grip was strong, but not forceful.
“I can carry that for you,” he said, taking the box from her hands. She thanked him and turned to her mom as he disappeared into one of the back offices.
“Who is he? He looks familiar.”
Her mom nodded. “He’s Lucas Silva, one of the sons of the family that owns the Melo’s Coffee franchise. He goes to school in California, but he’s in town for a few days. One of my writers wanted to bring him in for an interview. Handsome, isn’t he?”
Olivia scrunched up her nose. “Yeah. A little too young for me, though.” She paused. “Are you trying to set me up?”
Her mom laughed at the question. “If you’re going to date someone, it doesn’t hurt if he’s the heir to a multi billion dollar company.”
“Mom.”
“I’m kidding. Besides, you only date guys with black hair. There was Michael and then Simon, and Nick. You have a type.”
Nick. Olivia felt her heart drop again. His words stung despite the many months that had passed. She didn’t correct her mom about the dating bit.
“We’re meeting for lunch once you finish everything here, right?”
Her mom nodded, right as Lucas made his way out of the offices. “I should be done in an hour. You can wait here if you want.”
Olivia shook her head. “I have something I need to do first.” She turned to Lucas. “Thank you for the help.”
He gave her a smile, dimples colored his cheeks. “It wasn’t a problem. It wa
s nice to meet you.”
She realized now he was dressed like all the country club boys she had spent a summer working for. Maybe she had known him then. He didn’t seem as stuck up as the usual lot though, but refined nonetheless.
Olivia left the student union and headed directly to her destination. The new freshman dorms were already in use for the summer term. It wasn’t Smith Hall, but Everest Hall. It didn’t resemble a prison, as much, but there were still tiny windows and a certain grayness about the place. It was closer to the nature trails, but farther away from campus.
She followed the trail of signs and loud students toward the entrance. No one seemed to notice her slip inside. Hopefully Mimi hadn’t moved out yet. Olivia wasn’t even sure if Nick’s sister was taking summer classes. It was all part of the calculated risk she was taking in coming to say one final goodbye to her.
She’d come once before, the day of the memorial to help bring things from Mimi’s dorm. Tape and decorations to paste around the beach house, and snacks for the endless guest list.
225
Olivia knocked, hoping she was right in her guesswork. It took a second to click open.
“Olive,” Mimi said. Her black hair had a single streak of purple on it. It matched the top she wore. “Why the random visit?”
Olivia pulled her phone out. “I wanted to show you something, and to say goodbye.”
Mimi’s eyes widened. “Goodbye? Why?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Come in.”
The two of them took spots on opposites sides of the tiny room.
Mimi crossed her arms. “So what do you want to show me? And are we suddenly saying goodbye?”
They were fair questions, both of them, so Olivia stared with the second. “I’m going to London for the summer, and I’ll probably end up staying there, if everything goes to plan. I didn’t want to leave without thanking you.”
“London. Why?”
“Well it started out as a planned vacation with my mom, but then I decided I might want to stay longer. I took a theater class there one summer, and I loved the city. I’m trying to get a job with a theater company there. Nothing’s certain yet. And I wanted to thank you for letting me come to your mom’s memorial.”
Mimi shrugged. “What happened that day? You ran out without a reason. Then Nick acted like the two of you hadn’t even talked.”
“We decided there was no friendship to salvage,” Olivia said. “Well your brother did, before I got the chance to clear things up with him. I let it go. He seemed happy with his new girlfriend.”
“You two should get trophies for the best dramatic goodbyes. Why didn’t he want to be friends?”
Olivia shrugged. “He said he didn’t need me in his life anymore. That he had Joy now.” The words still stung, because she still needed him. And he let her walk out, crying, without looking back.
“What do you have to show me?” Mimi asked, abruptly changing the subject.
Olivia turned her phone on and scrolled through her pictures. She’d been planning it as a gift to Nick, but his sister would have to take it, since she never got the chance to give it to him. She held the phone out.
“I was going to show you, the day of your mom’s memorial, but I didn’t get the chance. It’s a plaque with a quote that I remember Nick telling me she liked. It has her name on it but no birth or death date. It’s a place called the Immortal Garden a few miles out of Glensford. They let people commission pieces to display there.” Her voice trailed off as she saw Mimi scan the picture.
Esperanza Rivero
All that is lost in love is never truly lost.
“You had this made for her?” Mimi asked.
Olivia nodded. “I didn’t know who the quote was by, so I just left it like that. I hope you don’t mind. It’ll give you a place to visit, if you’re ever away from the beach house. I hope I didn’t over step a line…”
“She came up with it,” Mimi said, cutting Olivia off. Her eyes were still on the picture. “She used to say to us all the time. How did you know about it? Nick never mentioned it to anyone.”
“He told me, the first day we met,” Olivia said. “On the plane ride over here from Shepton. I’m surprised I remembered.”
“The day your flight got delayed…” Mimi began.
Olivia gave the hint of a smile. She could admit it now. “My flight didn’t get delayed that day. I skipped it.”
“Why?” Mimi asked.
She shrugged. “Curiosity, a guilty conscience. Maybe both.” She hadn’t really known, but that day she knew she had to stay behind. Staring at the crying little boy next to her, despite everything, she knew she couldn’t leave. The second flight being delayed, that had been a coincidence. The first time though, that had been a risk, a choice too, one that she never regretted.
“Thank you,” Mimi finished. “My dad never wanted to put up anything. He thinks it might not let her move on.” She gave Olivia the phone back.
“If you stayed behind for Nick that day, does that mean you liked him since then?”
Olivia shook her head, unsure of the answer. “I didn’t want to leave him crying. I knew how that felt, to have no one there when you were at your worst. I would have done it for anyone at that point. He just happened to be that someone.”
Mimi shook her head. “Then why would you date your ex-boyfriend again? If you liked my brother…”
“Simon?” Olivia asked. “I never dated him again. We worked together on a play for six months last year, but that was the last time we spoke. Did Nick think…” It didn’t matter what Nick had thought or hadn’t. He was dating someone else now and she had to respect that.
“Why don’t you tell Nick?” Mimi asked. “Clear things up with him.”
“It’s too late for that,” Olivia said. “I didn’t come here to talk about Nick. I just wanted to show you that you have a place to visit in your mom’s honor if you wanted to, and to say goodbye. I know we haven’t talked much, but I want you to know that if you ever need anything or if you’re ever in London, you can call me up. I’ll be there.”
Mimi bit her lip. “I wish you had said that a long time ago. I could of used you when…”
“When what?” Olivia asked.
Mimi shook her head, letting the sadness dispel from her face. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to ruin the moment. I won’t talk about Nick if you don’t want to either. He has his girlfriend now, and he never even calls anymore.”
“People change,” Olivia said, realizing she was trying too hard to sound like a wise leader.
“People don’t’ change, they just get tired of keeping up a pretense,” Mimi said. Her eyes darted to a thought, and Olivia realized she wasn’t talking about just her brother. “Have a safe trip. Don’t get too famous and remember the little people.”
Olivia smiled. “I’ll try. I really will.” She stood up and wrapped Mimi in a hug. Her mom would be waiting for her soon.
“Whenever I have two grand leftover, I’ll try visiting,” Mimi said. She kept her head against Olivia’s shoulder. It was the longest embrace the two of them had shared. “Thank you again, for the plaque. You don’t know what it means to me.”
“There’s no need to thank me,” Olivia said. She let Mimi squeeze her in silence, before they said a final goodbye.
The path back to the main campus felt lighter. She wished she could say goodbye to Nick, but she knew that wasn’t an option anymore.
She went over the list in her head. She’d have to pack, and say her goodbye to Isabel. Her dad was going to have lunch with them tomorrow.
Olivia tripped as she let her thoughts carry her away. The keychain rattled in her pocket. She planned on bringing it with her to London, for luck of course, and maybe for the memory of it. This was her final goodbye, not just to Mimi or Isabel, but also to Glensford as a whole. She’d return someday, but without Nick, it’d never quite be the same.
31
July 8, 2014
The words haunted h
im like nothing had ever haunted him before.
I don’t need you in my life. He’d said the last thing he could ever mean. They followed him even now, as Nick made the first step toward a new phase in his life.
He had quit his job at the mayor’s office in Shepton. It happened two weeks back. Joy had begun a rant about how everyone in the office was surprised she wasn’t engaged yet. She held out her ring finger in the air.
“If you want me to be with you Nick, you’re going to have to show me you’re serious about our relationship. I can’t be with someone who takes things this casually. We’ve been together for two years.”
He sighed at that. “We’ve been going on dates for a year and a half, and we’ve been in a relationship for less than three months. What other step is there, right now?”
That made Joy crack. She dropped the file of folders she had been carrying to the mayor’s office and held her hands on her hips. It took Nick a moment to look up from his work, but when he did her blue eyes were bent on digging two holes into his skull.
“You should be making plans to propose to me.”
“What?” he almost spat out his coffee. “What gave you the idea I’m going to propose to you?”
Joy crossed her arms. “I gave up seeing those other guys so that I could be with you. You should be willing to make a similar sacrifice.”
“I’m not going to marry you,” he said. “I don’t want to be with someone who says that getting engaged is a sacrifice.”
People in the office began to gather around, watching the fight play out. He knew he wouldn’t let it go on.
“Are you saying you’re never going to propose to me? Did you even want to be with me?”
Nick paused, taking in the question. “No. You were just the only person I knew in town.” The words were harsh, but they were the truth. And he was tired of not being able to make the truth known.
Joy ran out of the office at that point, a few of her coworkers went to comfort her. Nick stayed behind and finished the files he had been sorting through. Then at the end of the day he went into the mayor’s office and turned in his letter of resignation. For the first time in two years he had finally felt free.
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