by Jordan Ford
Mack gives me an ironic smile. “You’re beautiful, you’re foreign, you’re mysterious. People are going to be talking about you whether you’re with me or not.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, and you’re cool, you’re popular, and every girl in the school wants to get with you. If they see we’re together, they’re going to be talking about me even more. Now, let me go!” I slap his shoulder and he finally relents, loosening his grip…but only enough so that I still have to wrestle out of his grasp. It’s a fighting chance, I suppose. I try to glare at him, but he just snickers and makes a silly face, which then gives me the giggles.
Honestly! I haven’t laughed this much since I was a kid. No one’s ever affected me the way Mack does.
I rise to my feet just as two familiar faces come around the corner. They’re holding hands and looking adorable as their arms swing, chatting with each other, oblivious to the world around them. Tori says something to Colt, which makes him tip his head back in laughter and then wrap his arm around her neck. He pulls her close, burying his lips in her mounds of curls. She closes her eyes, resting her hand on his stomach and looking like she’s been sent to Heaven.
Mack rises beside me, smirking as he watches the lovebirds saunter onto the field. His fingers wriggle beneath my jacket, spreading across my lower back. Warm sizzles race up my spine and I lean back against him to enjoy the show.
Tori and Colt have stopped now and are gazing into each other’s eyes. He’s saying something that’s making her cheeks turn fluorescent red. I snicker and look up at Mack. He grins, then gives me a sexy wink before letting out a loud wolf whistle.
Tori and Colt, who were about to kiss, jump apart from each other. Tori’s grey eyes are large and sparkling while Colt’s head tips to the side with a dry glare. He raises his middle finger at Mack, who returns the favor with a charming smile.
Boys.
I wave at Tori, who’s still blushing like a strobe light. She tucks a curl behind her ear and takes Colt’s hand as they walk toward us.
“We came here to get some privacy, dude. What the hell are you guys doing here?” Colt’s eyes shift between us, the light bulb already coming on.
A tight knot forms in my stomach, but it’s eased by the feel of Mack’s hand squeezing the nape of my neck, then pulling me against him. “We were looking for the same thing.”
“Oh!” Tori’s lips part. “Wow! Really?” Her smile is sunshine. I’ve never seen anybody’s face light up so quickly. “That’s so cool.”
Okay, so we have a romantic in our midst. What’s the bet she reads Jane Austen and watches rom-coms from the eighties…just like Eloise used to.
I swallow, thoughts of her pale, white face and red-rimmed eyes stealing my smile.
Colt points his finger between me and Mack. “So, I’m guessing this isn’t public knowledge right now.”
“Uh…” Mack gazes down at me, quietly asking the question we both have different answers to.
I give him a pleading look. He responds with a reluctant grin. “Yeah, we’re keeping it quiet.”
“Not a bad idea.” Colt raises his eyebrows, sharing a silent message with Mack that’s easy enough to interpret. He’s dating someone who doesn’t fit the mold…and it’s not always easy.
I don’t have to imagine how protective Colt must feel; it’s obvious in the way he holds Tori to his side. I’ve watched them in the cafeteria. I’ve seen the glares he’s shot Roxanne Carmichael and her snobby friends. Heck, I’ve even seen the glares he’s fired at other guys for simply looking at Tori. Oh yeah, he’s got it bad for the pixie girl. I think that’s what they call her.
“So, how’s the weekend going?” Mack’s still holding me against him like we’ve been a couple for years. I have to say, it’s actually kind of nice to be standing here, the four us—two couples both trying to guard their relationships. Admittedly, mine and Mack’s is only a newborn, but those are the ones you have to take extra special care of, right?
“Yeah, good.” Tori bobs on her toes. “Colt’s been teaching me to play Madden.” She looks at me. “It’s this PlayStation football game and I pretty much suck.” Her lips dip into a resigned pout but break back into a smile when she looks up at her boyfriend. “But it doesn’t help that I’m competing against the world’s best player.”
“Pffft.” Mack snorts. “World’s best player. Whatever.”
“Shut up, man. I could kick your ass any day of the week.” Colt grins.
“Bring it on, horse boy.”
I laugh, enjoying the banter between them. It’s so obvious how much they love and respect each other. They’re acting like my brothers do—macho insults veiling a hard-core devotion. These two have ‘lifelong friendship’ written all over them.
Once again, my thoughts fire to Eloise and I’m reminded how fragile life can be. I turn into Mack, wrapping my arm around his waist and pressing my head to his shoulder. I don’t care that Tori and Colt are watching. I need to cherish this moment.
Mack runs his arm down my back. “Kiwi Girl’s been trying to teach me how to play rugby.”
“No way, really?” Colt’s eyes light, the blue fire in them almost mesmerizing.
“Yeah, he’s not very good yet.” I wink at Tori, who laughs.
“Well, maybe I need a better coach.”
I slap his chest, wrinkling my nose at him. “I’m probably the best rugby coach in the state of Idaho!”
“You’re probably the only rugby coach in the state of Idaho.”
“Exactly!” I giggle. “Which is why I am the best.”
Mack laughs at me before kissing the end of my nose and giving me a smile that turns my insides to hot mush.
Colt bobs on his toes like a kid at the counter of a candy shop. “Mind if we join?”
“Sweet as.” I nod. Pulling away from Mack, I jog over to the ball, picking it up and sending a perfect spiral pass to Colt. My dad would be proud.
Colt catches the ball against his side, his smile wide with approval.
I place my hands on my hips and smirk at Mack. “Now, that’s how you pass, mate.”
*****
We spend the next hour mucking around with the ball. Even Tori gets in on the action. Now, she’s adorkable, fumbling the ball and tripping over herself. Colt’s there with a quick rescue every time, hauling her up like she weighs nothing. To him, she probably does. The way he lifts her over his shoulder and swings her in the air, you’d think she was made of feathers.
I love that.
I love that even though I’m not small and delicate like Tori, Mack can make me feel like a ballerina. He may not be the biggest guy on his team, but he’s freaking strong. And maybe it’s the fact that I’m still recovering from what happened back in New Zealand, I’m not sure, but I find Mack’s strength a necessity. Like how did I ever live without it before? I’ve only experienced the full force of it over this weekend, but it’s made me feel more safe and secure than I have in weeks. All this time, I’ve tried to be strong on my own, harboring my shame in silence. Now I’ve finally let someone in, and it’s a huge relief. I want to cling to him, wrap myself inside the protection he’s so willing to offer.
If only I could.
On Monday, as I’m carrying my tray out of the cafeteria line, I catch Mack staring at me. Our eyes connect and his rich brown gaze warms to a hot cocoa color that makes me want to fling the tray over my shoulder and run into his lap. Instead, I grip the plastic and swivel toward Anderson’s table. He’s still pissy with me for ditching him the other day…and basically being non-existent over the weekend.
“I thought you were here to hang out and see Idaho, not play a disappearing act,” he’d complained when I got home last night. His voice had been kind of whiny and irritating, reminding me of Anna on a bad day.
I didn’t tell him I’d been with Mack. Actually, I told him I’d been hanging out with Tori. He seemed to swallow that news okay, like Tori was an acceptable friend or something. He was acting like a blo
ody father figure. It took major resistance on my part not to flip him off and tell him that the cheerleaders obviously weren’t the only snobs in this school, but I pressed my lips together and went to bed.
If I walk my butt over to Mack’s table right now, it’ll aggravate the shit out of Anderson. I still have to live with the guy for another month, and I’m all about avoiding angst at the moment. Plus, Roxy and her cheer-dettes probably won’t be able to stomach it, either. Her icy blue eyes drill holes in the back of Mack’s head while he’s watching me. He may have been unaware of it, but I felt it before I even noticed it. I guess when you’ve been someone who’s thrown those kinds of glares around, you’re hyper aware of the vibes.
I want to tell them all to stick it, then lock lips with Mack right in front of everyone. But I won’t. I can only imagine the buzz that would resonate throughout the school if we let on how we really feel about each other. I could definitely do without the gossip.
As boring as playing it safe is, it’s all I can cope with right now. What I have going with Mack is too precious to throw into the fire.
So against every desire inside me, I set my tray next to Anderson Foster’s and take a seat.
#23:
Eye Contact
Mack
I hate that she won’t sit with me.
I understand why she won’t, but I still hate it.
Over the weekend, she opened up a little more about her New Zealand school and the ugly rumors that spread like a virus after word got out about Eloise. I want to kick her ex-boyfriend’s ass for doing what he did. She should have been able to trust him the most but he turned on her, reveling in the gossip, fueling it until she couldn’t take the heat.
It drove her here.
To be honest, I should be thanking him, but the look in her eyes when she relived what happened… She’s still haunted by it. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure nothing at Nelson High can touch her. My protective instincts were working overtime as I held her close and let her cry against me. I wanted to wrap her in a bubble and keep her safe, which is why I kept her to myself all weekend. I did have to share her with Colt and Tori for a while, but that ended up being really cool.
I glance at Colt, who’s sitting opposite me. His mouth is full of food, making his cheeks bulge, as he listens to Tyler going on about his hot and heavy weekend. I give Ty a skeptical frown, wondering how much of his antics are actually truth. I wouldn’t be shocked to find out the guy’s still a virgin. Usually the ones who boast the loudest are the most inexperienced. Colt swallows his mouthful and laughs, shaking his head at Tyler before rolling his eyes at me. I snicker and take a mammoth bite of my hotdog. Chewing down my food, I peek over my shoulder again. I can’t help myself. Kaija is sitting next to Anderson. Her long locks of luscious hair swish as she looks up at him, a polite smile on her lips. I can only see her profile, but I can tell her smile isn’t real. I’ve seen the genuine article, and it’s stunning enough to knock a guy on his ass.
Colt taps my foot with his boot, clearing his throat and tipping his head toward the end of our table as I spin around to scowl at him. My eyebrows lift when I spot Roxy’s blue gaze drilling into me. We make eye contact and her lips rise into the sultry smile she usually gives me before walking us into the bonfire shadows and making out with me. We’ve gotten pretty hot and heavy in the past. Hell, we nearly did it once, but for some reason I can never understand, I just wasn’t feeling it, and backed off before going all the way. I sat in the grass puffing, trying to come up with a good excuse to walk away while her fingers roamed beneath my shirt. A small twist of irony actually saved me that night. I heard Layla yelling from the other side of the bonfire and rushed in with my standard rescue. Two guys were fighting for her affections and she wasn’t strong enough to break it up. I took her home straight after that, and Roxy and I have never mentioned our nearly all the way moment again.
Gazing at the cheerleader’s flirty face now, I can tell she’s thinking about it. The way her eyes dip, and the way she bites her lower lip and glances back up. She wants me.
But I don’t want her.
I’m not sure I ever really did. She’s pretty and everything, but there’s something lacking. There’s no spark between us. Nothing more than mindless lust. I’m an eighteen-year-old guy. I should be all about that—because I always have been—but, for some reason, Kaija makes me want more. I want to get to know her, not just her body and what she feels like, tastes like. I want to know if these crazy feelings I have are grounded in something bigger than just physical attraction, just wanting to sleep with her. Because I can do that with anyone. And right now, I don't want to cross that bridge with her. Not yet. Maybe that makes me a total wuss, but I don't care. I'm tired of that game. I'm ready to see if there's something more to life than just hooking up with cheerleaders and random chicks who just wanna say they scored with Mack Mahoney.
I run my hand through my hair with a sheepish grin, my cheeks heating as I admit the true impact one look has had on me. Kiwi Girl must be some kind of magician, because she’s captured me. I’m thinking the L-word already. This is insane!
It’s a total mind-flip to go from someone who’s all about the casual make-out session to someone who is borderline obsessed with one particular girl. She’s stolen my heart, made me feel things I never thought I would. She’s with me constantly, playing in the corners of my mind, endearing me with her charm and playful smile…those emerald eyes.
I’m about to glance over my shoulder again when I catch Colt’s eye. His steady look reminds me to not be so obvious. Clenching my jaw, I focus all my attention on Finn and his rant about the evils of Miss Turner’s chemistry class, the whole time picturing Kaija’s face as she threw the rugby ball at Colt, then turned to me with a smirk. “Now, that’s how you pass, mate.”
A smile lights my lips. I rub my hand over my mouth to try and hide it.
I can’t wait for another rugby session with my girl this afternoon. I would invite Colt to join again, but I don’t want to share Kaija’s attention, so I’m selfishly keeping my lips sealed. Man, I can’t wait for the Christmas break to start. Only one more week to go and I can see her whenever I want…hopefully.
I catch a glimpse of wild, scrappy curls approaching us from the right. Tori bobs into view, her smile brilliant as she walks around the table and wraps her thin arms around Colt’s neck.
“Hey, Pixie Girl.” He only ever uses his soft, husky voice with her. It’s kind of pathetic, but I can hardly talk. I’ve been dating Kaija less than a week and I’m totally whipped. Colt and Tori have been together for three months now.
She perches her chin on his shoulder. “We need to go finish that assignment.”
His upper lip curls and he lets out a thin whining sound.
“Come on, you know it’ll be worth it.” She kisses his cheek.
He skims his fingers across her arm. “Why don’t you come sit with me? I can finish eating. You can hang out. And we’ll do the assignment tomorrow.”
“It’s due tomorrow.” Her small fingers play with the collar of his jacket, her sweet smile still not enough to convince him.
Tori lets out a little sigh, looks to the ceiling, then start grinning like a vixen. Her eyes dance as she presses her hand to the side of his head and hides her whispers from us all. Her face is adorable, bright with mischief, and Colt’s mouth falls open, his cheeks glowing with color.
He jerks to look at her, his hungry eyes drinking her in.
She bites her lower lip and wiggles her eyebrows.
Colt starts scrambling for his stuff, jumping out of his seat and grinning. “Sorry, guys, I gotta go.” His arms wraps around her tiny waist while Tyler makes choking noises next to me.
“Dude, what’d she say? What’s she going to do to you?”
Shaking his head, Colt laughs and bends his knees so Tori can jump on his back. She springs up with a giggle, wrapping her legs around him and kissing the side of his neck.
>
“Dude, don’t leave me hanging!” Tyler shouts to the departing couple. “You better tell me after!”
Colt spins when he reaches the door. “In your dreams, man.” He laughs, hitching Tori a little higher. The curls bounce around her head as she laughs and waves goodbye.
“Damn.” Tyler throws his fork down. “Who knew Pixie Girl had it in her.”
“It’s only ‘cause she’s with the right guy,” Finn murmurs. Trust him to be all romantic about it. I’ve never known the guy to have a girlfriend; hell, at one point, I thought he was gay, until I made the mistake of looking at him funny one day. His responsive glare could’ve cut through steel. He knew what I was thinking. His voice was dry and a little scathing when he set me straight. “Just because I’m not a man-whore doesn’t make me gay. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right girl.”
I mumbled an apology and we’ve never spoken about it again.
Finn is a good person, right down to his core, and I respect that about him. Now that I know what it feels like to meet the right girl, I totally get where he’s coming from. Glancing down the table, I run my eyes over Roxy. She’s talking with my sister and Michelle, waving her hands in the air and looking gorgeous…and surly. Her eyes dart to the cafeteria exit where Colt and Tori just left. She mutters something else I can’t hear, but I don’t need to. It’s obvious they’re pissed that Tori has stolen one of their Raiders. It makes me kind of relieved that Kaija wants to keep our relationship under lock and key. If Roxy ever found out about it, I wouldn’t put it past her to sabotage the whole thing.
#24:
Busted
Kaija
Christmas has come and gone. I didn’t get to see Mack as much as I wanted to. It didn’t help that the Fosters pulled me out of town and we had to travel nine and a half hours to visit Mr. Foster’s family in Eugene, Oregon. We spent a whole week there, squished into this four-bedroom house with fifteen people, busting out the sides. I had to share a bed with Dana—not the worst thing in the world, aside from the fact that she talks in her sleep. Oh, the things that girl dreams.