I hadn’t really considered that. “My great-grandfather, he had a child—why didn’t he chose to have my grandfather take his place? Was it because he didn’t want his kid going through this life as your assistant like he was?”
“No. Your great-grandfather enjoyed being my assistant more than any of the others before him. I had to push him to leave, and when he finally did, he left angry at me, bitter and swearing that he’d stay that way for the rest of his life.”
That sounded really dramatic. “I guess I’ll meet a girl, then and maybe she’ll understand if I explain...” No, that wouldn’t work. No one could know about the dragons. “Then we’ll adopt.”
Bolivar looked bored. “Your bloodline is what ties you to me, not who you adopt or who you marry. If you want out of this, you’ll have to get someone pregnant. I don’t really care who it is. I don’t even care if you do it at all.” He pursed his lips, and I started to tell him that I did care, but then he continued. “You may not need to have a child at all, though. And you may not be my assistant for that many more years, either. I’m dying. In the simplest terms that a human like you can understand, my dragon self is dying. Soon enough I won’t be a dragon anymore, I’ll just be a human, much the same as you are, and when that day comes you won’t be tied to me at all.”
At first, I thought he was lying, but then he didn’t say anything more. He just sat there as if he was waiting for me to react. I wasn’t going to lie to him, I was glad that I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my life here with him. But I also felt sorry for him, and I was worried about him. “Will it hurt when you die?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it will. It would be nice to know when it will happen, but otherwise I’m fine with my fate.”
He sounded like he was, too. I went and sat back down. “Do you have any idea how long it’ll be?”
Bolivar shook his head. “If you want to do anything, you should do it soon. You’ve been here with me about a month and you’ve been a big help, but I can do my own dishes. You don’t need to feel like you’re stuck here with me. I’ve got the money to send you anywhere you want to go, so pick a destination and I’ll send you there. All I ask is that if I call you to come back, that you don’t hesitate.”
I looked down at the picture of Jack and me as I thought about his offer. I wanted to take him up on it, but it felt a bit like a vacation I hadn’t earned. I’d grown up with this idea of what it would be to serve him, but that wasn’t the reality of my life with Bolivar. Maybe generations before me had been vital for the dragons, but I wasn’t vital at all. I wasn’t even all that useful. I felt like a drain on him. Maybe I could be useful to him in some situations, someday, but I didn’t seem to be right now.
“You could take him too, if you wanted to,” Bolivar offered.
Putting my phone away, I turned back to Bolivar. “Thanks, but I’m okay. I think Jack would be pretty freaked out if I offered to take him on vacation with me. He doesn’t know about my family’s job with you. He thinks I’m spending time with a family friend right now. I’ll see him next month when I go home for Christmas.”
Bolivar shrugged and went back to eating his truffles.
When it came time for me to go home, Bolivar called a taxi for me. I was ready to leave, but at the same time I felt bad for him being alone over the holidays. I’d already packed the one suitcase I would be taking with me. “Do dragons celebrate the holidays?”
He was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. “Not really. I hope you enjoy them while you’re there, and if you see your great-grandfather, please say hi for me, but otherwise don’t spare me another thought while you’re gone. I won’t be lonely here. I’ll read and I’ll watch a movie or two, and I’ll be fine here.”
All he usually did was read and watch movies. And, of course, eat his chocolate truffles. I thought he must have been very bored all the time, but after being alive for as long as he had been, maybe it didn’t bother him. Maybe he was fulfilled in a way I couldn’t have been with such a simple existence.
I turned and looked out at the falling snow. We had four new inches, on top of the six inches that had fallen overnight. I wasn’t worried about the taxi getting me to the airport, or for my plane to be able to take off. I figured everything would go well.
“Will you be warm enough?” I called over to him.
He came out of the kitchen. “I’m not a child. Stop worrying about me so much.”
I kind of liked worrying about him, though. He was really freaking old, and he pretty much did nothing. Which, maybe, was exactly how he wanted to be. I hoped that my retirement someday was made up of chocolate, big books, and movies just like his was.
“Have you thought about what you’ll be collecting for me?” Bolivar asked.
I’d thought about it, but I had no idea what I was going to be getting him. I’d been in his collection room more than once. He had so many different things, all of them treasures in their own rights. I had no idea how I was going to add anything to a collection as extensive as his already was.
“The taxi’s here,” I said as it pulled up in front of his house. I was ready to go, and yet I hesitated before opening the door. “See you in a few weeks?”
“I’ll still be here. I’ll probably still be a dragon, too. Have a good time with your family.”
I nodded, and then I left.
Back home in Missouri there was hardly any snow on the ground, and I spent my second afternoon back with Jack. My first day had been entirely claimed by my father. Jack and I hugged at the restaurant and then, surprisingly, he leaned in to kiss my cheek.
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
We texted at least a few times a day. He knew how I was. “It’s good to be back home. I missed you.”
He gave me one of his brightest smiles. “I missed you too.”
Being around him felt good. He was familiar and safe.
“I was surprised you wanted to get together,” Jack said after a few moments. We hadn’t stopped holding hands.
“Of course I did.” I was already opening the menu with one hand. He hadn’t touched his yet. Maybe he already knew what he wanted.
“Yeah, but... I mean last time, we didn’t exactly end things well. It’s good that you see things my way now though. I think waiting until marriage will be good for both of us. I’m really glad you agree.”
I stared at the menu for a good five minutes as I tried to think of something to say. I didn’t want to get married to him. I didn’t even know if I wanted to get married at all. I was twenty. I wanted to have sex and fall in love and fall out of it and enjoy myself. And he was talking like one date meant we were supposed to go pick out matching rings or something.
I put the menu down and met his gaze. I was going to break his heart for a second time. He looked hopeful and was still smiling while I was sitting there silently contemplating the best way to break up with him. Again. And before we had even started going out again really, too.
“Jack...”
His smile instantly disappeared and he pursed his lips. “You don’t have to say it. Not again. I thought you’d changed.”
“I thought maybe you had,” I confessed. He just rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry. Look, you’re a nice guy and all.”
“You’re repeating yourself from the last time we did this. Already. Come up with a better line before you decide to hurt someone else.”
I thought he was going to get up and storm off. He’d done that last time. But instead he sat there beside me, and once our food came he ate it angrily, tearing at his sandwich as if it had been the one to piss him off instead of me. Then, when he was done, he walked away, leaving me with the bill and my half eaten lunch. I probably deserved it.
I had three days left of my vacation when I got a surprise text from Imrel. All he said was, Do you have time for me to show you around some of Quebec?
I heard Bolivar’s warning even as I agreed to go see him. Imrel hadn�
�t seemed interested in me like Bolivar had said he was, so maybe Bolivar was wrong. Either way, I was ready to just be with someone, and it wasn’t like Imrel was bad looking. He actually looked really good, and even if I wasn’t turned on when I thought about him, maybe I could get there if I got to know him a little better.
Imrel picked me up from the airport and slung his arm over my shoulder. His kiss came next. He kissed me like he’d been kissing me for years, like he knew everything about me and hadn’t seen me in months and couldn’t wait to be with me again. I should have said something then, but I didn’t.
I knew why I was there when he took me straight to his home and didn’t even bother to get my bag out of the trunk of his car before taking me to his bedroom. Bolivar had warned me, and this was probably a mistake, but I was done being a virgin and Imrel clearly had a ton of experience, more than any guy I would ever be with again. I pushed myself to think past my nervousness as I kissed him back. I took off my shirt and lay down with him.
He kissed me hard and he was rough when he grabbed me, but it kind of worked for me. He wasn’t being delicate with me, and maybe that was okay. My pants were barely off before he was naked with me. He tried to turn me over onto my stomach but I wanted to see him. I wanted to be held for my first time.
“You’re a funny little human,” he said as he bit my neck and shoulder hard enough to leave welts.
I didn’t respond. I didn’t even know what to say. It probably didn’t matter to him, though. Unlike with Jack, I knew what Imrel wanted from me and had no delusions of some long relationship with him. I knew this wouldn’t last beyond tonight. I bit my lip when he slammed into me. No warning, no nothing. I was in pain and everything hurt and he was just there biting me still, as if I was supposed to get used to it. As if I was the one with the problem.
“That really hurt,” I ground out between his thrusts.
“Then you should have said something. You want lovey dovey crap, you need to speak up.”
I didn’t think I should have had to say anything like that, but maybe he was right. Clearly he knew what he was doing, and I was just trying to keep up.
He rubbed me, and that friction helped me forget about the pain for a little while. I closed my eyes and gave in to the first tendrils of pleasure that started in my belly. He wasn’t even gentle with me then, but I could get past that.
He came well before I was ready and then I lay there, not really sure what I was supposed to do, as he moved off me and started getting dressed again. Was I supposed to finish myself? Demand that he come do it for me? Maybe, if he was human and if I knew what I was doing at all, but he was a dragon, and I didn’t want to piss him off.
“I’ll be right back,” I muttered. I didn’t want to not come during my first time, so I found his bathroom and stood there with one hand around me and the other on the sink to prop myself up. I was miserable as I started to touch myself and felt like I was forcing it.
I hadn’t locked the door, and Imrel pushed it open. “You could have asked for help.”
I stopped stroking myself as I met his gaze in the mirror. “I didn’t think that I should have to.”
He smirked as if silently telling me how stupid that was even when I thought he was the one being stupid about this. Imrel came up behind me and put one hand on the base of my cock and the other on my hip.
Neither of us spoke as he took over for me and I closed my eyes, not wanting to meet his gaze in the mirror. When I came I didn’t feel any better. I’d finally had sex, and yet I was miserable. And worse yet, Imrel had apparently dug his claws into my side as he was stroking me, because I had a couple deep puncture wounds above my hip that really hurt.
Bolivar didn’t say anything about me coming back early, but he did hand me a jelly jar with pink cream in it as soon as I was in the door.
“What’s this for?” I asked him.
“It’ll help wherever Imrel clawed you.”
He said it with such detachment that I was sure he didn’t care. My cheeks were on fire, though. “Uh... How did you...”
“He gloats. He always has. Use that cream morning and night. It’ll help. Only a dragon can heal from wounds made by one of us. It’s pink because my blood is in it. The wounds will be tricked into thinking you’re one of us.”
I didn’t know which was worse, that Imrel had apparently bragged about having sex with me to Bolivar and whoever else he’d felt like, or that the only way to get my side to stop seeping pus was to smear Bolivar’s blood on me. Both sides of it sucked.
Bolivar, though, he just walked past me into his bedroom as if nothing had happened. As if I hadn’t had sex with someone I knew he couldn’t stand only a few days before. He’d warned me about Imrel and I’d still gone to him, fully expecting what I’d gotten out of it. Well, maybe not to be stabbed by his claws like I was, but the rest of it had been pretty much what I should have expected coming from him.
“I’m sorry,” I called to Bolivar as I went to my bedroom in his house and started putting away the clothes I’d brought back from my dad’s house.
“Don’t be,” Bolivar said. He sounded like he was just on the other side of the wall from me. “Hopefully you enjoyed your time with him.”
“I didn’t.” And I wasn’t really sure I wanted to talk about that with Bolivar, either.
He said nothing, though.
Once I’d finished unpacking I went to his bedroom door, which was open. He was in his office, and I hesitated before entering. I wasn’t really allowed in his bedroom, but it wasn’t like there had been some firm rule about it. Bolivar had never actually come out and said that he did not want me in there, but he hadn’t invited me in, either. So I waited on the outside as I watched him type something on his computer.
“What’d he say about me?” I didn’t really want to hear his answer. But I did. Only, I was pretty sure that I would regret knowing.
Bolivar didn’t even glance away from his computer screen to acknowledge me. “The gist of it was Haha, I got there first and he was even better than your last assistant.”
If I’d thought that my cheeks were red before, they were practically on fire now. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled again. I didn’t know what else to tell him. I was sorry, but I was mostly embarrassed.
“I told you not to be sorry. Do you want some help putting on the cream the first time?”
Maybe I should have some help. He seemed to know what he was doing around wounds caused by dragon claws. “Uh, sure. Thanks. Do you want me to just take off my shirt, or what?”
He got up from his computer and nodded to the bed. I stripped off my shirt and sat there until he applied gentle pressure to my shoulder, laying me down on top of his comforter. I wasn’t worried about being in his bed right then. He was nothing like Imrel. He didn’t want me. He didn’t even like me most of the time, it seemed like. I was just the inconvenient human to him, and while that usually bothered me at least on some level, right then it really worked for me. It made being there with him like that much easier as he took the cream he’d given me and started gently working into the deep puncture wounds on my side.
“Did you get to see Jack at all?”
He was another person that I didn’t really want to talk about right then. “I shouldn’t have asked him out again. He still wanted to wait to have sex until marriage. I thought he was ready to give up that idea.”
Bolivar was a little rougher than I thought he needed to be as soon as I’d said that. “Ow. That hurt.”
He very clearly didn’t care as he kept packing the thick salve into the holes in my side. “Turn over.”
“I think you got them,” I said. I was miserable with my renewed pain.
“Just do it,” he said. His tone was sharp, and I moved to quickly obey him. I remembered how bad it was to piss off a dragon.
I rolled away from him and pulled one of his pillows under my chest. I didn’t think there were any holes on my back, and as I
felt Bolivar slide his thighs over my hips, I knew that he’d lied to me. “What are you doing?”
Before saying anything to me, he reached into my front pocket and took out my cell.
“Bolivar?” I was trying not to panic. Not yet, anyway. But he was making that really hard for me as he sat there on my butt, pinning me down.
“Now that you’ve had sex, do you think it would have been better to be with someone you cared about?”
I had no idea where he was going with this, but I still answered him honestly anyway. “Yes.”
“Do you think Jack was right, then?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think I want to get married. Not ever. So no, he wasn’t right in that way. But as far as waiting until I found someone I actually liked and then wanted to be with them? Yeah. Sure. Being with Imrel was a mistake. I know that.”
Bolivar chuckled deeply. “It only took you one time to realize that. Good for you. I was in love with him for nearly two hundred years before I realized that being with him was the biggest mistake of my very long life.”
I’d known that they were together, but not that Bolivar had loved him. That was a whole different thing to me. “Because he cheated?”
“Yes. In a way. Dragons like treasure and virgins. My treasure is the collections my assistants bring me. Imrel’s collection is the experience of the virgins he’s with, namely, my assistants. You weren’t the first. Not even close. But you will be last. I’ll be dead soon. And human. And then Imrel will never again have a reason to contact me.”
He put my phone in front of my face so that I could see the text message that he’d written on my phone. Jack, I’m sorry that I’m an idiot. Wait for someone you love. Even if he ends up breaking your heart in the end, wait until you’re in love.
I read the text, and even though I agreed with what he’d written, I had no idea why he wanted me to send that text to Jack.
“Can I send this?” he asked.
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