by Teisha Mott
“It’s your ER!” Dylan agreed, and the trauma nurse followed his instructions.
“Clear please!” Darrin barked, as he applied another shock.”
The relief in the room was palpable when the EKG finally showed a rhythm.
“We’ve got sinus tach!” Dylan announced, and Darrin thought he was going to pass out.
“Well, we’ve damn well better!” He spat, trying to regain his composure. He had not realised he was shaking like a leaf.
“I’ve got this!” Dylan said, taking over. “Let’s get him up to the theatre. Forget the type and cross. We need 4 units O negative, and get Uncle Jeffrey in here yesterday, by chopper if you have to. My bet is he has a bleed in the brain.”
“Yeah, we’d better pray to God you’re wrong!” Darrin commented. “And one other thing – which of us is going to call Klao?”
***
Klao lay awake in the darkness of her bedroom. The luminous figures on the face of her digital clock told her that it was three fourteen a.m. She sighed. She thought she would feel better once she was home in Mobay with her parents and in her own bed, but she felt as miserable and melancholy as she did in Kingston. The house was deathly quiet. Neither of her parents was working that night, and had long since gone to bed. She could hear Minx’s gentle snoring as he slept on her carpet. He had wanted to sleep in the bed, but her mother was adamant that he didn’t. Klao sighed and clutched her old Raggedy Ann doll close to her. She had owned Raggedy Ann since she was five. It was as flat as a pancake, and sort of mouldy, but it always offered her comfort when she was little, and she was trying to get some comfort from it now.
Klao closed her eyes, and willed sleep to come. It didn’t. She could not sleep while she was thinking about Matt. She missed him so badly. He would not return her calls. He would not speak to her… He wasn’t coming back to her, and it was all her fault.
Klao thought of the entry she had made in her journal just that afternoon. ‘My days are filled with memories of him,’ she had written. ‘Memories of when he would look at me as if I were his most valuable treasure. One day he will find a new treasure. He will phone some other girl and tell her she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Some other girl will learn his secret to the perfect cornbread… Every day, I feel the bond we shared grow weaker, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.’
Klao’s eyes filled with tears and she squeezed them shut. She knew she was being melodramatic, but she could not help it.
“Matt…” She whispered in the darkness.
Her eyes popped open when she heard the house phone ring. She wondered whether it was a hospital emergency. Poor Mommy and Daddy! She thought. She could not imagine how awful it would be to always be at the mercy of patients… One of her parents had probably picked up the extension in their bedroom, because she could not hear any talking.
Soon, she was startled by a light knock on her bedroom door.
“Klao…” It was her mother. “Are you awake?”
“Yes, Mommy, come in!” Klao pulled the sheets up to her neck and turned on the bedside lamp. Her mother entered, with her hair up in rollers, and a white robe over her pyjamas. Worry creased her face. “Mommy, what’s the matter?”
“Something happened…” Dr DeLisser began.
“What?” Klao began to feel frightened.
“An accident… It doesn’t look good…”
Klao gasped. “Oh my God. Is it Grandpa?”
Her mother shook her head sadly. “It’s Matt.”
***
“This is a nightmare,” Klao thought, as she sat ramrod straight in the wicker rocking chair in the family room of the Montego Bay Mercy hospital. “This is a nightmare, and I will soon wake up. When I wake up, I will phone Matt, and tell him of the horrible dream I had, then I will go to work, and he will come over afterwards and hug me and tell me not to eat late at night. This is just a dream…” Tears ran down her face. If it is just a dream, then why couldn’t she wake up?
“Klao, have this…” Her mother came into the family room and presented her with a cup of hot chocolate.
Klao shook her head and pushed it away. How could her mother think of hot chocolate at a time like this? How could she think of anything else but the fact that Matt was holding on to life right now by a thread, and that Uncle Jeffrey was rooting around in his brain trying to fix the massive head injury that he had suffered after his Tiida had been totalled by that wretched Prado?
The past hours had been lurid. Klao played them over in her head. Her mother had come into her room and told her that there had been an accident, and Matt was in the hospital. What hospital? Mobay Mercy. Witnesses had called Ambu-care when a white Tiida had been hit and rolled three or four times. No one knew that the driver could have still been alive, but he was – barely. It could not be Matt, Klao had screamed. What was Matt doing in Mobay? Why was Matt on the road at 3 in the morning? Matt could not see at night. No. It was some other white Tiida. Her parents had driven her to the hospital. She jumped out of the car even before it stopped and raced down the hall to find Darrin. What the hell was happening? Why was he such a liar? Why did he lie and tell Matt that she had slept with Ricard Shalkowski? And why was he now lying that Matt had been in an accident? But he was not lying. He presented her with Matt’s things that had been retrieved from what was left of the Tiida when the police wrecker came to pick it up. Darrin gave her Matt’s battered old duffel – the one she had mocked so mercilessly the night they had driven down for the twins’ party. He gave her Matt’s tired old wallet – the one she saw him with that first night at Megamart when he had rescued her from utter humiliation after she had been so mean to him. He gave her his driver’s license that he had shown to her to prove his name was indeed Matthew Levi St. James that night at La Fa. She looked at his smiling picture. It was Matt. It was her Matt. He was somewhere in the hospital in surgery… Her entire body went numb.
Her brother was saying something to her…. Something about next of kin. They had called Klao because they did not know who else to call. Matt had no emergency contact information on him. He may not make it through the myriad of surgeries, and his family had to be notified… Mary… Klao had to call Mary… Or Marvin… Or his parents… She took Matt’s cell phone from the duffel bag and dialled Mary’s cell. Mary picked up after one ring.
“Weren’t you supposed to call me the second you got there?” Mary snapped in greeting. “I have been worried out of my mind…”
She had to tell Mary. She had to be strong while explaining to Matt’s twin sister of the tragic turn of events. She told Mary what happened, and dropped the phone when Mary began to scream. That was when she started to sob. Her mother took the phone and tried to calm Mary down. Her brother took her to one of the family rooms. She should try to rest. Should he give her some valium? No. She did not want any drugs. She needed to be alert and awake…
And she was. She was wide awake. She was alert. As much as she wished she was, she was not dreaming.
Matt’s parents and Mary had arrived. It was the first time Klao was seeing Leonard and Gwen St. James. They looked really, really old. She knew they had Matt and Mary when they were in their forties. They were in their early seventies, but today, they looked much older. Mrs St. James was clutching her husband’s arm as Darrin explained that Matt had broken a number of bones, punctured a lung, and lost his spleen. She could not hold back her tears as Darrin continued to explain that those were his minor injuries. He had suffered extensive brain trauma and that was what was causing the worry. They had brought in Dr Jeffrey Persaud from Ocho Rios Mercy, and he was now with Matt doing everything he could… He told them that all they could do was to wait.
Poor Mrs St. James and Mary were inconsolable. Mr St. James was trying to be the man with the stiff upper lip, but he was not fooling anyone. Darrin took them back to the family room where Klao had been all morning. He informed them that as soon as Dr Persaud was through, he would have him find them there and give
them further details of Matt’s prognosis.
“Oh my God, our boy!” Mrs St. James sobbed. “God, please take care of our boy!”
Dr DeLisser went to talk to Mr and Mrs St. James. Could she do anything for them? Get them anything?
She could fix their son. That was all they wanted from her. They wanted her to assure them that Matthew—their ‘brawta baby’, would be fine.
Matt was in good hands, Dr DeLisser assured them. Mobay Mercy had the best doctors and the best facilities. Jeffrey Persaud was the number one neurosurgeon in the entire Caribbean. If he couldn’t fix Matt, then no one could.
“I pray you are right!” Mrs St. James sniffled and dabbed her eyes with the hankie her husband offered her. “He is only a little boy. God cannot take him back from us yet…”
Klao was not sure what the point was of praying. What was the point of serving God? Matt was God’s employee. He did his best for Him every day – not just on Sabbath. Where was God when Matt had left Kingston earlier? Why didn’t God take care of him and take him to Mobay safely? Didn’t Matt pray before he left? Of course he did! Matt always prayed when he got behind the wheel of his car. Sometimes, he simply said, “Father, you know the drill…” So what had happened this trip? Did the Father forget the drill?
“God won’t take Matt away!” Dr DeLisser told Matt’s mother. “God knows how much you need him and how much Mary needs him…”
Klao glanced at Mary. Mary had not spoken a word to her since her arrival. She had tried to comfort Mary, but Mary had brushed her off.
Dr DeLisser had to get back to her patients. She told Matt’s family that a suite at the Ravi P Rose Hall had been reserved for them. Whenever they were ready – if they wanted to get some sleep, she would have someone drive them there. She left them alone in the family room with Klao. She also left the mug of hot chocolate in case Klao changed her mind.
Klao rocked in the rocking chair and watched the time tick by. It was so quiet, except for Mrs St. James’ sniffling and the tick of the clock.
Finally, Mr St. James spoke. “We are so sorry we had to meet you under these circumstances, Klao.” He said. “Matthew talks about you all the time. He thinks the world of you!”
“I think the world of him too!” Klao responded. She ignored Mary’s disgruntled snort. “He is the most wonderful man… You should be very proud.”
Klao continued to make small talk with Matt’s parents. They told her stories of when Matt and Mary were little. They had always stuck by each other. They always had what they called ‘twintuition’; especially Mary. Mary always knew when something was up with Matt. How come, Klao wondered, Mary had not picked up that something awful was going to happen before he left Kingston at 11 o’clock at night to drive to Montego Bay? Why didn’t she try to stop him? She glanced at Mary again. Mary held her face in her hands, not participating in the conversation. Klao was sure Mary was thinking the same thing.
The door to the family room opened, and Klao saw her Uncle Jeffrey Persaud come in. He was still in his green surgery outfit. He looked tired, as was expected. The clock on the wall said it was coming up to four in the afternoon. He had been in surgery with Matt for almost ten hours.
“Mr St. James, Mrs St. James, I’m Jeffrey Persaud…”
“Another Dr Persaud!” Mrs St. James tried to smile. “You’re the neurosurgeon?”
“Yes.”
Klao looked at her Uncle, and tried to think what he was going to say. He looked serious, but then again, Uncle Jeffrey always looked serious. Grandma had said he was serious even as a baby!
“This is our daughter, Mary,” Mr St. James said. “She is Matthew’s twin sister.”
“I’ve met Mary…” Uncle Jeffrey informed Mr St. James.
“How is Matt, Dr Persaud?” Mary interrupted. “Is he going to be okay?”
“Matt’s suffered massive head trauma. I fixed all the bleeders I saw…”
“So he’s going to be alright – right?” Mary asked. “You are the best neurosurgeon in the entire Caribbean. You fixed him…”
“I did all that I could!” Uncle Jeffrey responded. “But only time can help Matt right now. We have him under close observation. I have ordered EEGs and other confirmatory tests, but…”
He paused. Klao felt her heart fall. She did not like the word ‘but’. She recalled a sermon Matt had preached once, and he had quoted Romans.
“The wages of sin is death,but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus!” Matt had said. That had been the most beautiful ‘but’ Klao had ever heard. She was just starting to like the word, and now…
“But what, Uncle Jeffrey?” She whispered hoarsely.
“Matt is non-responsive to noxious stimuli, his cerebral metabolism is reduced, and his EEG activity is slow...” Uncle Jeffrey sighed. “Right now, it is still too soon to tell, but there is a possibility that Matt may have suffered permanent neurological damage. We managed to save his body but his brain may not come back.”
“May not come back?” Mrs St. James whispered. “What do you mean ‘may not come back’?”
Jeffrey Persaud paused. This was the part he hated most about being a doctor. He looked at Matt’s parents, and his twin sister. He looked at his niece. They were all looking back at him. Four pairs of eyes were pleading with him for good news. But he did not have that to give. He sighed.
“Like I said, it is still too soon to tell, but… If there is no change in the next 72 hours, that means his brain has been compromised, and he is not going to wake up.”
Mary’s blood curdling scream pierced the silence of the family room. She fell to her knees. Mr St. James held on to his wife before she, too, could crumble to the floor in a faint. Uncle Jeffrey attempted to comfort them.
“God no!” Mary screamed. “No! Please…”
Silent tears meandered down Klao’s face. She moved towards Mary.
“Mary…”
She was sobbing into her hands.
“Mary, I am so sorry…” She tried to put her arms around her.
Mary roughly shoved her off. “Don’t! Touch! Me!”
“Mary…” Klao felt absolutely helpless.
“Get away from me!” Mary shrieked. “Don’t you dare put your filthy Persaud snob hands on me!”
Her parents were equally distressed, but were shocked at their daughter’s reaction. They never dreamed she would talk to Klao that way.
“Mary…” Mr St. James began.
“This is your fault!” She raged. “You are the reason that Matt is here. You are the reason my brother is… My brother is….” Her sobs caught in her throat. “He was coming for you. After the way you treated him; after you rejected him and told him he was not good enough for you, he was still coming for you, and you are not even worth it!”
“Mary you do not need to be acting like this!” Mrs St. James sobbed. “You think Matt would want you to be going on like this…”
Mary ignored her mother. She rose from the floor and continued her attack on Klao. Klao had never seen her looking like that before. Her hair was dishevelled, and her eyes looked huge and possessed.
“Matt put everything on the line for you. None of the leaders from the Conference wanted him to be with you. They gave him an ultimatum – his job, or you, and he was driving down here tonight because he had chosen you. He chose you, although you think that you are so much better than him. You think you are so special because you are Klao Persaud, and your family has all this money. Well, you listen to me, Klao Melissa Persaud. You better pray your family has enough money to buy life, because if my brother dies, your family’s money is going to be worth nothing, because I swear to God, I am going to come after you, and I am going to kill you with my bare hands!”
Klao was numb with shock. She stared at Matt’s sister. She did not know what to say. Matt had got an ultimatum—his job or her? He had chosen her? Matt was coming to Mobay for her? That’s why he was on his way down? He was coming for her, because after all this time, re
gardless of all the things she had said to him, he wanted to be with her! Mary was right. It was her fault that Matt was probably not going to wake up. Mary was also right when she said she did not deserve Matt. Because of her, this kind, wonderful, selfless man was lying almost lifeless in a bed in the hospital. That bright, cheery man who had been so alive a few days – a few hours ago. That sweet, kind man who believed in ministering to the needs of the less fortunate, who ran the Wayside Inn, and the Seventh-day Adventist Church of St. Andrew. Because of her his eyes were now closed, probably permanently; his young, promising life cut short.
Klao could not breathe. The walls of the family room were closing in on her. She should not be in there. She had no right to be in there.
Not even trying to hold back her sobs, she turned and fled from the room. She could hear Uncle Jeffrey calling her name, but she just continued running. She ran like a track star through the trauma unit, and into the ambulance bay. Tears blurred her vision, and she stumbled, and fell face down on the concrete. It hurt like hell when she hit the ground, but at least that assured her she was still alive. She hurt so badly inside that she could not even cry.
“You alright Miss Persaud?” Somebody asked.
Klao looked up. It was a janitor. She could not even speak. He was looking at her, concerned, and she could not respond. After a few seconds he walked away. Klao remained knelt in the ambulance bay. She hugged her shoulders, and trembled involuntarily. She had never felt more alone in her life. She wondered where the janitor had gone. He, too, probably thought she was a Persaud snob…
“Klao…”
She looked up. The janitor had returned with her mother.
“She alright, Dr DeLisser, Ma’am?” He asked, his voice shaking with concern.
“She’s going to be fine,” Dr DeLisser assured him. “Thanks, Danny.”