by Lacey Thorn
God, was this what Orsai had been trying to tell her? Was Zane trying to protect her by staying away from her?
“You made that choice with Logan,” Diane argued.
Tah and Reno had both mated humans, as well, but she recalled Orsai’s reminder that they were just learning who they were and what it meant to be a shifter.
Clara snorted. “Like he gave me a choice. You know Logan. He pursues what he wants with single-minded purpose. I never stood a chance against him.”
Exactly what Orsai said. How did Zane’s uncle know so much?
“Logan loves you.”
Clara nodded. “We love each other. We’re lucky.”
“If I’m Zane’s mate, he wouldn’t have been able to stay away,” Diane snapped, feeling very unlucky.
“You’re wrong. He would have done his all to stay away, no matter how much it killed him. I’m willing to bet he was trying to keep you safe.”
There it was again. Protection—by staying away. Was that really what had been going on between her and Zane?
“From a life I’m already involved in?” Diane argued. “I was already here, before him. What exactly did he think he was saving me from?”
“How long have you been questioning your roll here?” Diane asked softly.
“I… What do you mean?” That question threw her off-guard. She’d been questioning herself almost from the moment she’d arrived. She’d just hid it so much better in the beginning.
“There’s a connection between mates. We can sense what the other is feeling. Without marking you, Zane might not have known for sure. But he would have picked up on something. Maybe he thought it was him you wanted to leave, him you were afraid of. Maybe you are.”
“I’m uncertain, yes,” Diane admitted. “Scared of making deadly mistakes. But I was never afraid of Zane. Never.”
“Do you want to save him? If you had the ability to, would you use it?”
Diane took a deep breath, understanding what Clara was asking of her. Zane’s image filled her head. So strong, so brave and so compassionate. His golden gaze haunted her.
“This virus… If I’m not his mate, he could kill me,” Diane stated, daring Clara to deny it.
Clara looked at her for a long moment then slowly nodded. “Possibly. With his panther in control, we’d all be in danger around him. The only one guaranteed safety is his mate.”
“And you really believe I’m his mate?”
“I think you already know what I think,” Clara told her. “I’m more interested in what you think.”
“I don’t know,” Diane admitted. “I desire him. He’s a gorgeous man,” she admitted. “But for all I know, what I feel could be nothing more than lust.”
“I’m sure you’ve wanted men before,” Clara countered. “Did it feel like this?”
Diane shook her head, not needing to think about it. No man had consumed her thoughts and dreams the way Zane did. “No.”
Before, she’d always managed to walk away, to lose herself in her work. She was discovering she couldn’t with Zane. But was that due to the overabundance of stress she was under, or could it possibly be caused by something more?
“I want to tell you to go find Zane. I want to demand you try,” Clara said. “But I can’t. I won’t. This is a choice only you can make. But please think about it. Think long and hard, but think quickly. Everyday a little more of the man Zane is gets lost in the animal he’s become. This virus feeds the beast inside and breaks down the bond formed between the two halves. Soon, only the beast will remain, and Zane will be lost to us forever. I really pray that doesn’t happen.”
Diane didn’t want it to happen, either. “If I were to go after him, to try and find him, how would I do that?”
“One of us would have to go with you. It would take a shifter to be able to scent where he is. We’d be able to get you close enough for him to scent you out,” Clara said. “From that point, you’d be on your own.”
“To what? Wait and see if he shows up?”
“He’ll show up,” Clara said. “I wouldn’t have approached you if I didn’t believe that.”
Diane heaved a big sigh. “I feel like my life is unraveling.”
“Maybe it’s just beginning,” Clara countered. “There are so many of us who have felt the pain of losing someone we love. If even a part of you believes you might be Zane’s mate, don’t wait any longer. Don’t take the chance of losing him.”
“I know you’ve lost so many people. Your mom and dad. Your Uncle Thomas is missing.”
Clara nodded, and Diane felt so much sadness for what the other woman had faced.
“I’m sorry,” she told Clara. “About Lydia,” she clarified. “Nothing we try seems to be working.”
“I’m planning to go talk to Dillon, myself,” Clara said.
“I thought Logan asked you to stay away?”
“He did, and I have,” Clara stated. “I think that’s going to have to change.”
“I can’t see Logan agreeing to that.”
Clara grinned. “He won’t.”
“And that makes you happy?” Diane asked.
“We’ll argue. He’ll yell. I’ll yell back. He’ll threaten to spank me, and I’ll challenge him to try.”
“Spank you?” Diane squeaked out.
“Oh, yeah,” Clara breathed. “Then we’ll fuck. Next, we’ll make love. Finally, we’ll talk. He’ll reluctantly agree to let me talk to Dillon as long as he’s there, and I’ll follow his guidelines to ensure my safety.”
“He loves you,” Diane said again, this time with a sigh of envy.
“He does,” Clara agreed. “And I’ll agree and follow his wishes because I love him.”
“You’re very lucky,” Diane said.
“I am. You could be just as lucky.”
“I want that. I want a love like the one you and Logan share.”
Clara wrapped her hands around Diane’s and squeezed. “You could have it.”
“Am I interrupting?” Abby called from the hallway outside the lab.
Diane was immediately on her feet. “Not at all. Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
Abby smiled and waddled over to join them. Her stomach was huge, making her look as if she was nine months along instead of the thirteen weeks she actually was. Lion gestation. That’s what Abby was experiencing. And if it played out the way Diana thought it would, Abby should be going into labor within the next week to ten days.
“I’m fine,” Abby assured her and took a seat on the stool Diane had jumped off of. “My little guy gets more and more active every day. I think he’s excited to join us.”
Abby and Clara shared a look and the next thing Diane knew, Clara was moving.
“I’m going to leave you guys to chat. I’ve got a conversation of my own to have.” Clara wiggled her eyebrows and grinned.
Diane felt her face flush red. She knew exactly what talk Clara planned to have and the outcome the other woman anticipated. Damn it! Diane was a little jealous.
“Give Logan my best,” Abby called.
“I will,” Clara said and was gone, her footfalls echoing as she went up the staircase that led from the lab to the main floor.
“The Professor called me,” Abby said after a brief moment of silence. “He’s worried.”
“He called you? We’re in the same house! And why the hell would he call you? The last thing you need to do is worry about me. You need to be concentrating on your health and the baby getting ready to make his appearance in this world.”
Abby smiled. “Trust me. I’m not going to do anything to put my child at risk. That doesn’t mean I’m not here for my friends. And we are, you know. Friends.”
Diane smiled. “I know.”
“I’ll never forget the moment you came in my bedroom to see Tah. You checked on him and muttered under your breath before you left.”
“I did? What did I say?” Diane asked.
“You vowed that you’d save him. You made
a friend for life in that moment. In me. I heard you, and I found comfort. I knew you would do everything you could to save him.”
“Reno saved him,” Diane said.
“Yes,” Abby agreed. “But you kept me sane with that vow. I was less afraid because you were there. You gave me hope at a time when I felt like my whole world was ending. And you’ve continued to do so. When Tah and Logan were shot, you removed the bullets and saved their lives.”
“Oh, Abby, I’m pretty sure Tah would have survived with or without my help on that one. This shifter ability to heal is something else. Plus, the Professor was the one overseeing everything during the surgeries.” Diane said.
“Overseeing isn’t the same, and we both know it. He trusts you implicitly. There is no one else he even considered when I told him what I’d found.”
“I don’t think I can live up to his expectations of me,” Diane admitted.
“You don’t have to,” Abby countered. “You’re family, Diane. We don’t need you to be perfect. We just need you. As soon as this little guy makes his appearance, we’ll both be down here more to help out.”
“Abby, you’ll have a newborn.”
“Yes, and I’ll have a lot of help with him. I’m very lucky. We’ll set up a playpen for him to sleep in. Between you, me, the Professor and everyone else who wanders through down here, this little guy will be spoiled rotten. And I’ll get the chance to help more. I’m a hell of a scientist. I know my way around research. I should be able to step in and at least give you a break on the constant analyses the Professor has running.”
Diane almost snorted. She wished the Professor good luck in keeping anything from Tah if Abby was down here helping him with his testing.
“Promise me you’ll think about it?” Abby asked. “Staying here with us. I really don’t want you to go.”
Diane believed her. She could see it in Abby’s eyes. Diane had never really had many friends. Most of the people she’d had in her life consisted of colleagues who were as busy as she was. They might share a drink or dinner, usually as a platform to discuss whatever they were currently working on. She’d never once thought she was missing out on something until she arrived here. The deep love Tah, Reno and Logan felt for one another was obvious to everyone. They really were more brothers than friends, and they swept up everyone there in that sense of family. Then there was Abby. For one so young, she mothered all of them. Scolding and offering love and wisdom depending on what was going on. Diane had to admit, she didn’t want to leave. These people were the only family she had. Before, she would have easily walked away. But now, she knew what family was supposed to mean, and despite her self-doubt at the moment, there was no going back.
“I’ll think about it,” Diane vowed. She’d be thinking about a lot of things, but mostly about Zane. If Clara was right, if Diane was his mate, then it was imperative she go after him as soon as possible. The idea filled her with hope and dread at the same time and set off a litany of what if’s in her mind. The most pressing one was what if she was Zane’s mate? What if she really was?
The panther rested in the tree. While it slept, the man struggled to hold on. There was something he needed to do, someone he needed. To protect? To find? To claim? It was all so jumbled in his head. He was sick. He knew that just as he knew the beast was growing stronger as he grew weaker. Soon, the connection between them would cease to exist, and the animal would take full control of the body they shared.
He couldn’t let that happen. It was the one thing he was certain of. He pictured blonde hair and hazel eyes, and the name Diane floated in and out of his thoughts. Briefly, he swore he felt her touch, a phantom caress that wasn’t nearly enough.
As the animal continued to rest, the man found strength by repeating three words over and over.
Diane. Mate. Mine.
Chapter Three
Diane barely slept, and when she did, her dreams were filled with Zane. His golden gaze haunted her, begging her to come find him. In the dreams, he would hold out his hand to her, an engaging smile on his lips as he bid her to join him. But as she drew closer, fog rose up from the ground and obscured him from her sight. No matter how fast she ran or how loud she called, she couldn’t find him.
She finally rose with grim determination. She was going after Zane. Mate or not, she knew she wanted to help him, to save him from the beast taking over. She knew Tah would question her. He might even tell her no. The only thing that might persuade him to give her a chance was if she told him she was Zane’s mate. She still wasn’t sure if she believed it or not. She wanted to. She really wanted to believe Clara was right. Surely, Clara would back her up and go with her to find Zane.
She headed toward the office as soon as she’d showered and dressed. It was the first time she hadn’t gone straight to the labs since she’d arrived, and with each step, she grew more certain, more confident. The door was closed, which meant Tah was there—he only closed it when he was talking with someone. Part of her wanted to walk away, to not interrupt, but another part urged her it was now or never. Taking a deep breath, she knocked and waited.
The door opened, and Reno stood there.
“Hey, Diane,” he greeted, opening the door wide and waving her in. “Come on in.”
She faltered when she stepped beyond the door and saw the group in the room. Tah and Abby, the Professor, Reno, Murphy and Vic. The entire council Tah had put together minus one—Logan. He was probably on patrol with Clara. Diane remembered the couple usually took the early shift.
“Am I interrupting a meeting?” she asked. “I can come back.”
“No, not at all,” Abby said. “In fact, it’s a good thing you joined us.”
“Oh?” Diane asked, feeling uncertain with everyone’s focus on her.
“The Professor stayed up most of the night searching for people who might be interested in coming here to help us out, to give you a hand in the labs with testing and medical care. We’ve managed to narrow it down to four possibilities. We’ll dig a little deeper to see if they’d be able to handle who and what we are without running for the hills,” Tah said, rising and coming toward her.
His gaze took her in from head to toe, and she realized just how much her outburst the day before must have worried him.
“We’ve been remiss in getting you more help. I’m sorry about that. We’ll do everything we can to get it taken care of as soon as possible. We can’t afford to lose you. No one knows us as well as you. We don’t want you to leave,” he finished, letting her know he knew what she’d told the Professor.
“I…” She wasn’t comfortable discussing what she had planned in front of everyone. “I promised Abby I would think about it.”
“And you promised to stay until after the baby was born, regardless,” the Professor reminded her.
He was angry with her, and she understood why. She’d been his first and only choice. He saw the possibility of her leaving as a betrayal.
She nodded. “I did.” Of course, if all went well, she’d be leaving for a little bit despite that promise.
“Best case scenario would be if Clara’s Uncle Thomas appeared,” the Professor grumbled. “He’s a self-trained physician for shifters. I’m betting he would be a fountain of wisdom for us all. Even better would be if I could persuade Orsai to stay.”
Tah sighed. “We can’t afford to send anyone off to search for Thomas right now, especially since we have no definitive direction to search in.”
“Not when we finally have our hands on some money to make upgrades with,” Vic said with glee in her voice. “Well, once Abby goes to Denver to sign for her portion of the inheritance from Professor Mueller’s untimely death.”
A rumble of displeasure sounded from Tah’s chest, and Diane knew he wasn’t happy about his mate going. Abby sighed.
“We’ll wait until after the baby is born,” she said. “That should give you plenty of time to plan whatever you need to in order to get me safely to Denver and back. We need th
is money.”
Abby was right. They did, especially since none of them had a source of income right now. They were dwindling through the money reserves they had put together with cost of living and upkeep on their vehicles. They needed more than just the money Abby was inheriting from the Professor’s feigned death—a precaution the Professor’s daughter Jess and her wolf mates had taken when the man’s life had been placed in jeopardy. They needed a viable business idea to generate some income for them.
“We’ll get it all figured out,” Reno assured, arms crossed over his chest as if daring anyone to contradict him.
“That we will,” Murphy agreed, rising and walking over to Diane. “How’s Finn doing this morning?”
Diane shook her head. “I haven’t seen him. I came straight here to talk to Tah when I woke up.”
“He’s in the lab by himself?” The Professor’s face showed the horror Diane was feeling at the thought of Finn unsupervised in the labs.
“I’ll head down,” Diane said and began to turn back toward the door.
“No need,” Murphy said, patting her on the shoulder. “I’ll go get him. Make sure he hasn’t caused any mischief for you. You came to talk to Tah. Besides, I’m pretty sure this meeting is over. Too much to do around here to be sitting on our asses talking about it all morning.”
Tah rumbled again, and Murphy laughed. It was good to see Murphy so happy. She remembered the look on his face when he’d brought Finn back so near death. Diane hadn’t believed Finn was going to make it at the time. But he had, thanks to the Professor and his research. Without it, Diane had no doubt that Finn would have died. It was one of the reasons Diane found it so easy to keep her lips sealed for the Professor.
“I’ll head down with you. I want to check on a few things. You can give some more blood while you’re down there,” the Professor told Murphy.
“You’ll be bleeding me dry at this rate,” Murphy bickered good-naturedly as he headed out the door.
“We’ll talk later,” the Professor said to Diane as he passed her. Would he be on her side? Would he back her on her wish to go after Zane? She wasn’t sure.