“Whose blood is it?” asked Nelek, holding up the dagger and speaking loudly as Sir Oxley and the others entered the courtyard.
“It’s the late Lord Ravenscar’s blood,” said Autumn. “Benedict lent him the dagger to do some bloodletting when he was sick.”
“That sounds suspicious to me,” growled Oxley, getting off his horse. “It’s almost as questionable as letting the prisoner go free.”
“That’s enough,” Benedict warned him.
“How did the boy get the dagger in the first place?” asked Oxley.
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?” said Benedict.
“Speak up, boy,” Oxley yelled at Torkel. “Where did you find the dagger?”
“In the trunk in the tower. Lady Autumn put it there,” said Torkel. “I didna ken it was Lord Ravenscar’s dagger.”
“Lady Autumn put it there?” Oxley glared at her now. Autumn knew she had to say something.
“Yes. I found it in the late Lord Ravenscar’s room under his bed. It had the dried blood on it and it frightened me.”
“Why didn’t you give it to me?” asked Oxley. “You should be thrown in the dungeon for that.”
“Oxley, Lady Autumn would have given it to you but she feared you and so she remained silent,” said Benedict. “Now, no more talk of this.” He turned to the priest. “Father, we are ready to be married.” He pulled Autumn to his side and held her arm tightly so she wouldn’t move.
Autumn held back the tears as she looked out to the crowd. Nairnie was shaking her head in disbelief. Torkel was holding his cut hand, still bleeding as the guard held him by the shoulders. Oxley was glaring at her and Nelek looked as confused as everyone else as to what was happening here.
This wasn’t how she imagined her wedding day. Until recently, she hadn’t even thought she ever wanted to get married. But she’d started to have feelings for Benedict after their lessons of fanning the flames of desire. Then, Nairnie told her about her vision and Autumn became very confused. She had thought at the time that marrying Benedict was a wise move to save her guard’s life. She didn’t regret helping the man, but she did regret making such a quick decision.
“Say your vows,” growled Benedict, dragging her from her thoughts. She’d been so distracted that she hadn’t heard a word the priest said.
“My vows?” she questioned, not sure what she was required to say.
“Just say, I do, my dear,” the priest told her.
“I do,” she repeated, and then it was all over. The priest pronounced them married, and Benedict released her arm and dashed away, talking with his men.
“What about the boy?” asked Oxley. “You can’t let him go free, too. He not only released the prisoner but stole your dagger and used it to try to stab a guard.”
“Nairnie, take Torkel inside and tend to his wound,” said Benedict. “Oxley, take the boy to the tower where he released the prisoner and lock him inside. If you hurt him in any way, I’ll have your head.”
“Nay. He’s just a boy. You can’t do that,” cried Autumn.
Benedict turned to look at her and it frightened her. “Don’t you ever tell me what to do again or it will be you locked up instead.” His eyes were dark and his face became shadowed. The beast within was shining forth. She suddenly wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t hurt her. Fearing Lord Ravenscar was not good. He was her husband now. She was his wife. Pain shot through her heart as she realized the gentle, caring, kind Benedict she’d once known could be gone forever. What had she done? And what would happen to her now that she was married to the Beast of Ravenscar?
* * *
Benedict was having a hell of a day. One minute things had been going great and the next minute his whole world came crashing down around him. How could he have let the prisoner go? What was the matter with him? He knew better. Oxley was right. He should have killed Lester or at least kept him locked up forever. Letting him escape was not what the late Lord Ravenscar would have done. He’d taught Benedict to be strong always, but that wasn’t the case here. He’d been weak today and he wasn’t proud of it.
“Congratulations on your marriage,” said Nelek as they headed across the courtyard, leaving Autumn standing there by herself. “But haven’t you forgotten something, my lord?”
Benedict stopped in his tracks. His dogs gathered around him, and he didn’t even have it in him to bend down and pet one of them. Everything was irritating him now. Especially his chatty squire. “What did I forget, Nelek?” he asked, just to shut the boy up.
“Your wife.” He pointed back to Autumn who was standing there just staring at him.
“I didn’t forget anything, now leave me alone.” He continued to walk.
“My lord,” said the orphan, Iona, running to catch up with them.
“Good day, Iona,” said Nelek with a silly grin on his face. There was no doubt he was smitten with the girl.
“What is it, Iona?” Benedict asked, finally stopping, wishing everyone would leave him alone.
“Nairnie has sent me to ask ye what ye would like her to prepare for the weddin’ feast.”
“Nothing,” he said.
“My lord? I dinna understand.”
“He said nothing,” repeated Nelek, still acting like a fool.
“What part of nothing don’t you understand?” snapped Benedict. “There will be no wedding feast and no celebration. Tell Nairnie to do nothing out of the ordinary at all.”
“Aye, my lord,” said the girl, looking to the ground and then curtseying and running off.
“You’re not going to celebrate your marriage?” asked Nelek, looking at him as if he were a horrible man.
“Why should I?” Benedict glanced back to Autumn. Their eyes met and then she looked away and turned her back on him as she headed for the garden. “There is nothing to celebrate. I’ve lost a prisoner and am harboring more than one guilty person who thought to betray me. I’ve also now got my captain of the guard suspicious and watching me like a hawk. And, to top it off, within a sennight I’ll have the bastard triplets knocking down my door. I’m not even at all certain my marriage to their sister is going to stop them from trying to take off my head.”
“Aye, I see your point, my lord. The day is not going very well for you.”
“Not at all. And if you ask me about it again, I swear your day will be going worse than mine.”
* * *
“Look at the feathers the baby birds are starting to grow,” said Autumn, holding Rab up to see the nest. Iona and Ishbel were on one side of her and Enar peeked into the nest from the other side.
“They’re hungry,” said Rab, reaching out and trying to touch the birds. The birds’ mother scolded them and flew back and forth.
“Nay, don’t touch them,” said Autumn, putting Rab down. “We can only look at the birds once a day. We don’t want to scare the mother or she might not return to the nest.”
“What kind of mathair wouldna return to her bairns?” asked Ishbel.
“Our mathairs,” said Enar. “We’re orphans, or did ye forget?”
“Are any of your parents still alive? asked Autumn, bringing the children away from the nest.
“Nay,” said Iona. “We’ve all lost our parents to death. They didna purposely leave us.”
“That’s no’ what Torkel says,” replied Enar. “He says we are all unwanted and nobody will ever love us.”
“That’s not true,” said Autumn, gathering the children to her in a hug. “I want you, and I love each and every one of you.”
“Lord Ravenscar doesna,” said Rab with a frown.
“How can you say that?” she asked. “He has saved each of you from being killed.”
“And kept us as prisoners,” added Ishbel.
“If you are talking about Torkel being locked up, it is because he did something that he shouldn’t have done,” said Autumn, feeling very sorry for the boy. “I will try to talk to Lord Ravenscar and have Torkel released, but I’m sure he’ll ha
ve some punishment to pay for his betrayal.”
“What about ye?” asked Enar.
“What about me?” asked Autumn. “Do you think I should be punished, too?”
“I think he is talkin’ about ye bein’ a prisoner,” said Iona.
“I’m not a prisoner,” she said with a slight smile. “I’m Lord Ravenscar’s wife.”
“He’s treatin’ ye more like a prisoner than a wife!” exclaimed Enar.
“Aye. He didna even kiss ye at the weddin’,” added Ishbel.
“Ishbel, Enar, ye shouldna have said that,” Iona scolded.
“Nay, it’s all right,” said Autumn, knowing it was the truth. “I think you should all go help Nairnie in the kitchen now as the meal will be starting soon.”
“Are ye comin’, too?” asked little Rab, taking her by the hand.
“Nay. Not yet,” she told him. “I’m going to go to Torkel since I’m sure he’s feeling frightened.”
“Who wouldna be frightened by that beast, Lord Ravenscar?” asked Enar.
“Children, don’t talk that way,” said Autumn. “Lord Ravenscar is not a beast.” She said the words but, in her heart, she was starting to wonder if she’d misjudged him. He’d been so cruel to her at the wedding. She felt so alone. Autumn had always thought when she married it would be a joyous day and there would be lots of celebration. She was wrong. Being married was looking like it would be horrible, just like Summer’s first marriage. She could only pray that it wasn’t true.
As she watched the children leave the garden, she wrapped her arms around herself in a protective hug. The wind had picked up and the sky overhead went from bright blue to murky gray. She could no longer even see the sun. It was as if a dark cloud hovered over Ravenscar.
Nairnie had told her Benedict said there would be no celebrating the wedding and neither would there be a feast. She didn’t know what would happen come nightfall, either. Lately, she had started wondering what it would be like to lose her virginity. But now, she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. Benedict had kept his promise and she was still a virgin. But after tonight, things would change. They would be expected to consummate the marriage and she was sure he would not back away again.
If their alliance were to be real, she would have to be his wife now in every way. But after the anger she’d seen in his eyes, she was sure tonight he would not be gentle. It frightened her. She longed for her mother and sisters to comfort her right now. She felt so alone, not knowing what to expect. If only they could have waited to marry and she could have invited her family, she would have felt more prepared for what would transpire tonight in Lord Ravenscar’s chamber. Never in her life had she thought she’d be in this situation. She was now the bride of the Beast of Ravenscar, and there was no going back to the way things once were.
Chapter 23
Benedict was sullen during the meal and hadn’t spoken to Autumn at all. She had checked on Torkel before coming to eat. The boy had been distraught. She’d also put more ointment on his cut and rewrapped his wound. He was frightened and wanted her to stay with him, but she knew she couldn’t.
She hadn’t even wanted to go to the great hall but did because it wouldn’t have been proper not to show up. Especially on their wedding night. Of course, what did it matter since nothing was even mentioned about their marriage and Benedict wouldn’t even look at her? He was angry that she was five minutes late for the meal.
He also didn’t seem to care that she was still not comfortable around his dogs. He’d let them all into the great hall and was even feeding them right from his trencher. They all pushed up against her trying to get to the food, whining. Their tails whacked against her back every time they wagged them.
When his wolfhounds came over and laid their heads on the table nearly touching her food, she decided she had had enough. Pushing through her fear of the dogs and her new husband, she stood to leave.
“Where are you going?” Finally, he’d talked to her.
“I will not sit here being bruised by your dozen hounds while you feed the animals right from the table.”
“I warned you not to tell me what to do again or I’d lock you up.”
“Then so be it. It would be welcome to have some space as well as solitude.” She turned and left the dais, hearing the yelps of several dogs when Benedict accidentally stepped on their paws in his hurry to come after her. As the sound of his feet stomping against the raised platform grew louder, she walked even faster, trying to get out of the great hall before he decided to make her stay.
“Lady Autumn, stop,” he said, but she kept going. Leaving the hall, she headed down the corridor, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of turning around to look at him. “Wife!” he called out. She almost stopped, but something told her not to do it. His large hand clamped around her small wrist and he swung her around. “Do not walk away when I am talking to you!” His dark, foreboding eyes flashed at her.
“Oh, were you talking to me?” she asked snidely. “I am surprised you even noticed I was here after you ignored me the entire meal, paying more attention to your dogs.”
“Autumn, that’s enough.”
“I agree. It’s time you stop treating me this way. I’m your wife now.”
“A wife that needs to learn her place and respect for her husband. I will not have you embarrassing me in front of my men again. They seem to think I take orders from you now. I can’t have that.”
“And I can’t have a marriage with someone I don’t love. I’m sorry now that I ever suggested we wed in the first place.”
Benedict watched Autumn turn away from him. It was more than he could take. She’d already managed to make a fool out of him by getting him to do her bidding and this was going to have to stop. She needed to learn her place. He decided he would teach her a lesson she would never forget. “Stop,” he commanded, giving her one last chance. But when she refused to listen, he bolted down the corridor and scooped her up in his arms and threw her over his shoulder.
“Nay, let me down,” she shouted, managing to get the attention of everyone as the people ran out of the great hall to watch the show.
“You are my wife now and you will not forget it.” He stormed down the passageway with Autumn over his shoulder and kicked open his solar door. Then he entered the room and shut the door, bolting it to keep anyone from coming in and also to keep Autumn from leaving.
“Benedict, you’re acting like a beast. Now stop it!”
He threw her onto the bed and removed his weapon belt, letting it drop to the floor with a clank.
“What are you doing?” She sat up on the bed with her eyes wide.
“We need to consummate the marriage.” He reached behind his back and pulled his tunic over his head next.
“Benedict, you’re scaring me.” She scooched up toward the pillows on the bed.
“You wanted to know how it felt to couple and now you’re going to find out firsthand.” He kicked off his shoes. “No more do I need to keep my promise of leaving you a virgin. You’re my wife now, and when we’re through, you will not forget it. I promise you that.”
“I don’t want to know how it feels to couple anymore.”
“Too late. You should have thought of that before you came up with the lame idea to marry me.” He dropped his braies and stood before her, naked. Hard, hot, and more than ready, she would not leave him frustrated ever again.
Autumn’s eyes scanned down Benedict’s naked body and she froze, not able to move as she sat on the bed. He planned on taking her and making her his wife in every way now. As much as she had wanted to make love with him, she didn’t want it this way. She wanted him to be kind and caring with gentle caresses and feathery kisses that felt like the gossamer wings of a butterfly as they brushed past her lips.
With the way he was acting, she was sure their act of consummation would be more like a bull in heat, instead. “Benedict, can we talk about this?”
“Take off your clothes.”
> “But I thought mayhap –”
“I’m not going to tell you again.”
Autumn knew she had no choice. She was his wife and it was her duty to please him, so she got off the bed and removed her clothes. She now stood there in only her shift, like she had been the last time they’d had intimate time together.
“Nairnie warned me you were no good for me.”
“Remove the shift, too,” came his next command.
“She told me you were turning into a beast and that you weren’t the boy she once knew.” He moved slowly toward her, stalking her, getting ready to pounce. “She told me, but I didn’t want to believe it.”
“Stop talking about Nairnie.”
“I didn’t want to believe it because I saw a different side to you that no one else saw.”
“I’ll not tell you again, Wife!” He reached out with two hands and ripped her shift right from her body, throwing it to the floor.
She gasped and fell backward on the bed. “Don’t hurt me, Benedict,” she pleaded. “This is my very first time.”
He pushed her onto her back and straddled her, leaning over with his long hair enclosing them like a tent. “You have teased me, taunted me, and nearly driven me from my mind,” he told her. “I have kept my promise to keep you a virgin while I put myself through hell and back watching you get excited while I became so hard that I thought I’d burst.”
“I – I didn’t know,” she said as his face came closer.
“Well, now you do. And now you also know that I will not have any woman make a fool of me, especially not you. I have waited too long for this. I will bed you however I want to and you will see just what a beast I really am.”
His mouth came down and claimed her in a punishing kiss. It was hard and forceful. It frightened her, but still, she said nothing. She would say nothing because after what he just told her, she realized that what she had done was wrong. She hadn’t understood just how frustrated he was or how their little lessons of love were driving him mad. She also didn’t realize what a horrible position she’d put him in with his men every time she asked him to let a prisoner free or to take an orphan into his care. He’d even locked away his precious wolfhounds because of her. Aye, he had given up a lot and she couldn’t blame him for feeling this way.
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