by Pati Nagle
I thought about the card in my pocket. Instinct made me keep it to myself.
“I agree,” Lomen said.
“As if we didn’t have enough problems,” Manda added, reaching for the fridge.
The coffee tasted acid. I left it on the counter, went to the bathroom, and splashed some cold water on my face. Hoped the day wouldn’t get any worse.
I decided to deal with the laundry, needing to do something to help calm myself down. I pulled the load out of the dryer and then stood in the laundry room sorting socks.
You’re angry.
Yeah, I am.
What did I do wrong?
I threw a pair of underwear back in the basket and swallowed.
I’m not ashamed of who I am.
Nor am I.
And I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not.
Lomen didn’t answer right away. I picked up the shorts again and frowned at them. Were they mine, or his?
I see. I apologize.
My annoyance evaporated, leaving behind a vague unhappiness.
I know you were just trying to help.
That policeman is prejudiced.
Yeah, I noticed.
The garage door opened. I looked up and saw the Lexus pulling in.
They’re back.
I took the laundry basket to Lomen’s room and left it by the dresser. Went out to the living room, where Caeran and the others were gathered, except for Len. She must still be asleep.
Lomen looked up at me from the far end of the couch, apology in his eyes. He’d dispensed with the glasses.
“The police had the area blocked off,” Caeran said.
He looked strained. He must have been pretty tired by then.
“We were able to sense their reactions, but there were too many people for us to discern whether the alben’s khi was present.”
“It must have been them,” Manda said. “Same M.O.’s, combined this time.”
“Yes. The police were thinking the same thing.”
“What about the motel?” Lomen asked.
“We went by again, but they were not there. They may have moved.”
Lomen frowned. “If they’re in a different motel, we can find them by their khi. They won’t be able to leave in daylight.”
Caeran sighed. “It is worth looking. However, we need a rest.”
“I’ll go,” Lomen said.
“Not alone,” said Faranin.
I’ll go with you.
No.
He said it with enough force that I shielded instinctively.
I’m sorry, Steven. It’s too dangerous for you.
They can’t do anything to me in daylight, right?
They could still control you.
From a distance? Through a door?
A short distance, yes. A door probably won’t make a difference.
I’ll stay in the car. You and I are the only ones who’ve had any rest.
Lomen pursed his lips. Caeran was watching him.
I shielded again.
Can they hear us?
No, but they can tell that we’re talking.
Lomen straightened in his seat. “Steven and I could drive up Central. If I sense the alben’s khi, we’ll call.”
Caeran shook his head. “Better if we all go. They will not move before nightfall. We have time to rest.”
It made sense. I was still disappointed. I wanted to do something. I was pretty sure Poppy had been grabbed at random, but having two acquaintances murdered in less than a month made for a certain level of anxiety.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Manda stifling a yawn. I stepped over to her chair.
“Want a ride to your apartment?”
She brightened. “Great idea. I’ll get my wallet.”
I looked up at Lomen. “We could go to my place. Faranin and Bironan can rest here.”
“We can easily rest outside,” said Bironan.
“More comfortable inside, isn’t it?” I said.
Lomen stood. I went to get my keys from the bedroom, and grabbed my pack as well. By the time I got back Manda was waiting by the door to the garage.
Caeran handed his keys to Lomen. “Come back by four.”
“It’ll be before then,” I told him. “I have an afternoon class.”
“I’m skipping mine,” said Manda, yawning again.
We headed out. Lomen drove south and turned into an apartment complex. We waited in the car, watching Manda run up the stairs to a second-floor apartment and disappear inside.
“Your place?” Lomen asked softly.
“Yeah.”
We didn’t talk while he drove. I was too stressed, I realized. Buzz-cut had both pissed me off and alarmed me, which was probably his intention.
Maybe Albuquerque wasn’t any better than Cruces.
My tension increased as we got closer to my apartment. I was bracing for finding something awful. A burning cross, maybe.
There was nothing unusual to be seen. Lomen parked at the curb and we got out. I checked the mail—it had been a few days—and pulled out a handful of junk mail.
I started toward the apartment. Lomen touched my arm, and stepped past me when I paused. He walked slowly, looking right and left. Looking for what? Booby-traps?
Khi.
Realization hit me. He was looking for the alben, or for Pirian.
Did Pirian know where I lived? A shiver surprised me, and I shielded.
Nothing here. Only the police.
Figures.
I unlocked the door and we went in. The place was as still as a tomb. I dumped the mail on my desk and sorted through it. There was a printed notice of my course changes, otherwise it was all junk. I tossed all but the course changes in the wastebasket, then sat on the couch.
Tired. I rubbed my eyes. I’d slept part of the night, but the morning had been stressful. Lomen sat beside me and lightly rested a hand on my back, rubbing along my spine with his thumb.
May I?
I leaned forward, letting him rub my back. I hadn’t realized how tense my muscles were. He massaged with just enough pressure to unlock the knots. It felt so good I started salivating.
Ever heard of Ten Thousand Waves?
No.
It’s a Japanese spa. Let’s go there.
Now?
I laughed. It’s in Santa Fe.
Ah.
I sighed. What a mess.
It will get better.
How? Caeran’s going to try to talk to them, and they’re going to laugh in his face. They’ve made it clear they don’t care what he thinks.
They may care what all of us think.
I realized I was staring at the rug. Do you want to fight them?
No.
But you will.
If I must.
Shit.
Lomen dug a little harder into my shoulder muscles. I closed my eyes.
I want to keep you safe, Steven. That’s my goal in all this.
Who’s going to keep you safe? I can’t, apparently.
I’ll be careful. I’ve no ambition to be a hero.
But you are a hero. You saved Manda, that day in the library.
No—you saved her. You went in first, and startled Kanna into fleeing. If she hadn’t run—well, I shudder to think what might have happened.
I thought back to that day at Zimmerman. Summer afternoon, I was trolling for books, and I noticed a woman watching Manda with an expression I didn’t like. And then following her into the restroom. And I’d gone in after them.
I’d had no idea what I was looking at. The alben—Kanna—could easily have killed me.
I failed Amanda that day. I was supposed to be guarding her. It is you who are the hero.
You couldn’t have known she was already in the building.
I should have detected her. She masked her khi well.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. She’s dead, right?
Yes.
Let’s just worry about the ones that are ali
ve. How are we going to stop them?
He switched from my shoulders to between my shoulder blades. I was starting to zone.
It is possible for an ælven to control another. Success is more likely with two, or preferably three.
Caeran, Lomen, Savhoran, Faranin, Bironan. Barely enough to control two alben, by that standard.
Where does Pirian fit in?
I wish I knew.
Could they have killed him?
Possibly. I don’t think he’s dead, however. We would probably have sensed an ælven death.
You’re that connected?
We are always aware of the khi around us. A change like that, we would probably sense.
Well, if Pirian’s not dead, where the hell is he?
With them, perhaps.
Shit.
So...if he’s gone rogue...
We are dealing with three alben instead of two.
Great.
I straightened, aware that the backrub was putting me to sleep. Lomen’s hands fell away. I turned to face him and took his near hand in mine.
“Thank you.”
He laced his fingers through mine, and my heart did a slow flip. I’d wanted more than a short-term thing. Was this becoming more?
Lomen’s hand squeezed mine.
I had forgotten what a comfort it is to have a lover. It had been a very long time, for me.
There’s no one in the clan...?
No. When we were in Europe, we met other ælven from time to time. For a while we allied ourselves with another clan, and I knew a couple of them, but it was centuries ago.
Centuries.
I reached up to touch his face. His jaw was perfectly smooth. I realized they were all like that: Caeran, Faranin, even Savhoran. And I hadn’t seen any razors in the bathroom other than mine and a pink one that was probably Manda’s.
You don’t have to shave, do you?
No.
Dammit.
He grinned.
Caeran’s son had very light facial hair. He almost never shaved, at least when we knew him.
Lucky him.
It was at a time when most men wore beards. There were occasions when it was a disadvantage to him.
So did you know Shakespeare?
My remark had been half-flippant, but he answered it seriously.
We tended to avoid human society, for the most part. Caeran’s marriage was an exception.
Oh, man. I swallowed. “You thirsty?”
“Now that you mention it.”
I stood, reluctant to let go of his hand. Gradually our fingers unlaced. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I went to the kitchen, and found Officer Ulibarri’s card.
What had she wanted? The look she had given me was non-trivial.
I filled two glasses with cold water. The clock on the stove said 2:15. I hadn’t realized it was that late.
I went back to the living room and handed Lomen a glass. “I’ll have to start thinking about getting to class soon.”
“Shall I drop you on campus, or take you back for your bike?”
“You can drop me. I’ll be fine walking.”
His silence made me expect to find him waiting after my class. I couldn’t work up to being indignant about it—not after all the crap that had been happening.
I took out my laptop and got online, then got out the card and shot Officer Ulibarri a text:
THANKS 4 UNDERSTANDING.
It wasn’t two minutes before she sent back an answer:
I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY PARTNER’S BEHAVIOR. HE’S SENIOR TO ME AND I CAN’T DO MUCH ABOUT IT, BUT HE IS OUT OF LINE. THE DNA CLEARED YOU DAYS AGO.
So they’d run my DNA. My anger rose at Buzz-cut's harassment, but something else niggled at me.
What had they compared my DNA to? If they had a sample then Kimberly had probably been raped, though they might have just found a stray hair.
“Holy fucking shit,” I whispered.
Lomen gave me an inquiring look.
“The police have a sample of alben DNA.”
= 11 =
My brain started buzzing. Could we get the sample away from the cops? Not without breaking a bunch of laws and risking deep trouble.
Lomen shook his head.
It’s already been analyzed. The data could be in a dozen places.
I could get a job with the police. I could get in and destroy the sample, find all the copies of the analysis—
Steven, they must have samples from last year, too. It's too late.
My heart sank. I knew he was right.
This is bad. If someone starts messing with those samples and realizes they’re looking at another species...
They would not be likely to connect it to us.
I looked at him, thinking how amazing he was, how much more skilled than any human, and how much more vulnerable. I had to save him. All of them—all the ælven. We had to find that cure.
Project Ebonwatch was even more important than we’d thought, and time was of the essence. I didn’t like the helpless feeling of knowing how much I had to learn before I could begin to be of use.
I put aside my laptop and put my arms around Lomen. I just wanted to feel his heart beating next to mine. We made love, reassuring each other, reaffirming our connection.
Finally I looked at the clock. “I've got to go.”
Lomen drove me to campus and dropped me near the building where I had my genetics class. I liked the prof—a deep-voiced, no-nonsense woman with masses of curly dark hair—and actually enjoyed the next hour and a half. When I came out, Lomen was waiting under the trees by the door.
We walked to Len & Caeran's, crossing Central to the residential areas and then turning east. I noticed more yellow leaves on the trees, more leaves down in the street. Fall weather, state fair weather. A memory from high school came to me—marching band—riding up in school buses to march in the state fair parade. I smiled.
Evennight is not long away.
Are they still planning to have it … up north?
I don't know.
Or were all bets off until the alben were found?
Cold impatience filled me. I thought of following the hunters, finding out which Route 66 sleazebag motel the alben were crashing in, phoning in an anonymous tip to the police.
You would be sending the police to certain death.
I stopped walking. Resentment, partly because I knew he was right, morphed into irrational anger.
I wish you wouldn't snoop on my thoughts all the time.
Lomen stopped suddenly, as if I'd struck him a blow. He turned to face me. I was already sorry, but the look in his eyes made it worse.
“I will do my best to stop. You might want to keep practicing your shielding.”
Lomen—
He turned and kept walking. The silence in my head was thundering; he'd shut me out.
Shit.
I hurried to catch up to him as he turned the corner on to Len and Caeran's block. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.”
“Your instinct was correct. We have become too enmeshed, too quickly. A step back would do us good.”
But I didn't want a step back.
This was the Lomen I'd seen the morning I found Kimberly and called Manda. Aloof, cold. Giving me a chance to walk away, he'd said. Or maybe walking away himself.
“Don't leave,” I whispered, but he had already turned up the path to the door of Len and Caeran's house. A few butterflies rose from the bushes as he passed.
I stopped halfway up the path and shielded three times. Stood there trying to get zen. I had to settle for not quite panicked.
Everyone was in the living room except Manda and Savhoran. The sun was still up; they wouldn't leave their apartment until sunset, another hour or so.
Lomen was talking quietly with Caeran, who looked up at me as I came in. I felt a blush coming in hot and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
This was not good. I needed to talk to Lomen, apologize some
more, work things out. I shielded again, swallowed a swig of water.
Len came into the kitchen. “Want to help with dinner?”
“Sure,” I said, grateful for the distraction.
She set me to chopping onions. They stung my eyes, tempting me to give in to a good cry. I ignored that and kept my thoughts off of Lomen by going over that day's class in my head. I had some homework for that, and needed to catch up on a lot of reading.
Just don't think about it. That was a plan.
Len was stirring something on the stove. She threw the onions into the pot and gave me some cooked chicken to shred. The smell of the sautéeing onions woke up my brain, which informed me I was hungry. I'd forgotten lunch again.
A pungent smell, vaguely reminiscent of marijuana smoke, tickled my senses. Len was chopping roasted green chile on another cutting board. She added that to the onions, and when I was done with the chicken she threw that in along with some broth.
“That needs to stew for a bit. Want a glass of tea?”
I nodded. She fixed iced tea for us while I washed my hands and tidied up the kitchen. We went out back, leaving the ælven to their conversation.
“What happened?” she said softly when we were sitting with our glasses on the patio.
I swallowed a mouthful of tea. “Just a misunderstanding. I said something stupid. I need to apologize some more.”
She gazed out at the yard. “They take their time over decisions,” she said. “They have all the time in the world, so they forget that we want to feel secure.”
That seemed like a non sequitur. I sat pondering it, trying to apply it to my situation.
“I have something for you,” Len said, getting up. She left her glass on a table. “Be right back.”
I stared at the garden, trying to resist feeling miserable. Lomen would forgive me. It was just a thoughtless whine, I hadn't really meant it. He had to know that.
Len came back and handed me a couple of sheets of copy paper. “This is just the beginning. It's long.”
It was a copy of a handwritten poem. At the top of the first page it said “Creed of the Ælven, translation by Lenore Whiting.”
“So you found time for it.”
“For starting it. The whole thing's going to take me a while, but it's good for me. I had to ask Caeran about how to translate some words. There are nuances.”
I started reading.
Walk many paths, leaving no mark behind but of beauty.