‘Does that mean that I wouldn’t have to do the assault course Markus?’
‘Yes, from what he told me, you would be playing the drum all the time.’
‘I’ll definitely go and see him then. Thanks for suggesting me Markus, you are a true brother.’ Walter gave me a beaming smile that made me feel good.
Walter was selected as a drummer, and he started to learn immediately. We now had the sound from the snare drums accompanying all our activities which gave an orderly feeling to everything we did. Our marching improved immensely, and it was a lot more fun keeping time to the beat of the drums. They even played while we did the obstacle course which seemed a bit stupid as we couldn’t match our efforts to the drum beat. Walter picked up the skill of drumming remarkably quickly and became one of the star members of the new group. The Hitler Youth members started to march around Lubeck with the drummers split between the back and the front of the group which amounted to as many as fifty boys at a time, or more on special occasions.
Once the weather started to get warmer we went camping at the weekends in fields lent to the Hitler Youth by local farmers. The tents and equipment were dropped off by a truck so as we wouldn’t have to carry them, then all the members used to march to the field. I was one of the tallest in my age group, so I was given a leadership role during these camps. I wouldn’t be fourteen, and able to join the older group, until February 1931, but because of my size they made an exception for me on certain occasions. My preferred activity was the wrestling where we were carried on the shoulders of one of the bigger boys. I was lighter to carry around but quite strong for my age, so my partner and I won the majority of our contests.
In the evening, we lit fires and had sing songs around the fire. The songs we sang were flavoured with Nazi propaganda. The words spelt out the need for additional lands to cater for Germany’s growth, and the need for more and more soldiers to fight against those who were opposed to German ideals. At every camp, we were also spoken to about the great aims of our leader Hitler and how we could help the party to achieve its aims. It was emphasised to us how the Jews were destroying our nation and that all the suffering in Germany, as a result of the great depression, was due to the Jews. We even had mock burial ceremonies to honour a comrade who had fallen bravely in battle. The talks we received on a regular basis emphasised the noble fate that lay ahead for Hitler Youth members when they died for Hitler and for the Third Reich. I fully believed what we were being told and was convinced that Germany was heading for greatness. My whole life was wrapped up in the ideology that we were being filled with.
I returned home from these camps energised and willing to do anything for Germany. Right and wrong never entered into the equation. If Hitler wanted us to do something, we would do it and not ask questions.
About once every two months we were driven in an army truck to a firing range. We started off firing low calibre rifles, and then graduated to regular infantry pieces. The better shots, of which I was certainly not one, were selected for special training as snipers.
The Hitler Youth was my whole life and was instrumental in making an exceptional physical specimen out of me and also in expanding my mind. We would do anything for the party and often went out and distributed leaflets, signing propaganda songs as we went. I had grown up with zero confidence due to my grandpa shouting at me all the time and having to keep a very low profile at home just to survive. In school, I had been picked on as I consciously avoided situations where I might get into trouble. My class mates called me a goody goody, I had even developed a stammer when asked to read or speak in class. My role in the Hitler Youth developed a lot more confidence in me and my size gave me much greater courage. I was starting to believe that I had a future where my mother would be proud of me.
Everything was going well until one week in summer when I was fourteen, and we were away at camp.
‘Markus, will you please come and see me after the sing song this evening,’ Herr Mulder, our leader, asked me as we were queuing up for our meal on the final evening of the camp.
‘Where will you be sir?’ I asked him, not having any idea as to what it was all about.
‘I’ll be at my tent, and the regional director Herr Schmidt will be with me.’
‘What is it about Sir?’
‘We just want to talk to you Markus; there is nothing to be afraid of.’
Despite what he said I was scared, and I didn’t enjoy the sing song that night as I was extremely apprehensive as to why the leader and the regional director would want to see me. I couldn’t recall doing anything wrong that would justify being called before the leader and regional director. I was quite mature and tall for my age, but I was still only a fourteen year old and a very junior member of the Hitler Youth.
At around 10 o’clock, when the evening’s activities were over, and it was getting pretty dark, I went over to his tent with dread in every part of my body and anxiety like I have never felt before. I coughed outside to let them know that I was there. There was nowhere to knock, and I didn’t want to call out.
Herr Mulder put his head out of the tent and asked me to enter.
‘Ah Markus, thank you for coming,’ he said as he pushed the canvas flap back to allow me to go in.
I assumed that the man sitting on the end of the bed was the regional director. He looked to be aged about thirty which seemed surprisingly young for his exalted position in the Hitler Youth. He was dressed in a very smart uniform, his black hair was smeared across his head, in the fashion of Hitler, and he sneered at me.
‘Markus, this is Kommandant Schmidt who is the regional director of the Hitler Youth for this area,’ Herr Mulder said introducing the director.
‘Do you like chocolate Markus?’ Herr Schmidt rather surprisingly asked me.
‘I like it a lot sir, but it’s a luxury that we can’t afford at home.’
‘Well I have a bar of chocolate for you Markus, which you can take away with you.’ Herr Schmidt said, giving me the bar of Swiss chocolate.
I started to relax a bit as obviously it wasn’t because I had done something wrong that they wanted to see me. They wouldn’t offer chocolate to someone who they were about to chastise.
‘Markus we have an extremely important role that we believe you would be particularly suitable for, but we don’t know if you are up to it,’ Herr Mulder said, sitting down on a wooden box against the side of the tent.
It was now totally dark outside, but there was a lantern in the centre of the tent which gave off a gentle glow that relieved the darkness. The tent was filled with the overcoming smell of paraffin from the burning lamp.
‘What do you want me to do sir?’ I asked. I was feeling quite anxious again as it was quite spooky in the semi-darkness and the ‘chocolate bribe’ was giving me a horrible thought as to what this meeting could be all about.
‘Will you please take off your top and your shorts as we want to see how well developed you are? The project we have in mind for you will need a strong physical specimen, so we need to check out your whole body?’ Herr Schmidt said to me.
I did as he asked and stood there very self-consciously. It was quite a small tent; big enough to stand up in, but the confined space pushed me quite close to the two men and I now only had my underpants on.
‘Come closer to me Markus,’ Herr Schmidt said, beckoning me towards him.
He put his right hand up and felt my shoulders and then moved his hands down to my chest where he tweaked my chest muscles and my nipples. He then felt my stomach muscles. His hands were quite sensuous as he slowly moved them over my body making me have strong feelings that I hadn’t had before.
‘Turn around and face Herr Mulder,’ he directed.
I turned around, and he felt the muscles at the top of my back, and my shoulders and then he ran his hands down my spine. I felt his hands move onto my bo
ttom and, slipping his hands under the fabric of my underpants, he felt and squeezed each cheek. By now I was thoroughly aroused by the gentle and calculated touch of his hands on my body. I tried to control my feelings, but I was unable to prevent my penis hardening and bulging my underpants. The more I tried to stop my erection the stiffer it became. I was extremely self-conscious and embarrassed by what was happening. I watched Herr Mulder’s interest in me increase as the bulge in my underpants grew.
I had never felt such embarrassment as I now felt, exposing myself to these two men. I was also dreading what they would do to me next.
My embarrassment increased considerably when Herr Schmidt gripped the band of my underpants and forced them to the ground. I was now totally naked. I tried to grab them as he was moving them down, but I wasn’t fast enough. My shame was so great now that I felt physically sick which had the effect of reducing the blood flow to my nether regions and my erection started to decrease.
‘You have a beautiful body Markus and are remarkably mature for your age. You will make a fantastic leader in the Hitler Youth when your time comes,’ he said as he fondled me.
I wasn’t enjoying this, but what was I supposed to do. I couldn’t make a dash for it in my naked state. I was also in the presence of the two most powerful men in the local Hitler Youth movement, and I felt that it was imperative that I didn’t do anything to upset them. There were plenty of stories of members who had crossed the leadership of the Hitler Youth and had been handed over for interrogation to the SS.
‘You can put your clothes on now Markus?’ Stefan Mulder suddenly said in a not particularly convincing voice.
‘But I haven’t finished with him Herr Mulder?’ Herr Schmidt said decidedly tetchily, still fondling me.
‘It is very cold in here, and he will become ill,’ Herr Mulder said sympathetically but forcefully.
‘OK Markus, you had better get dressed and go,’ Herr Schmidt said, letting go of the part of me he had been holding.
I didn’t wait any longer. I pulled my clothes on and got ready to leave.
‘Thank you Markus for being so compliant and co-operative. We will remember what you have done for us tonight when your name comes up for a leadership role,’ Herr Schmidt said.
‘You mustn’t tell anybody what happened in this tent tonight Markus,’ Herr Mulder said to me as he undid the tent flap to let me out. ‘If you do talk to your friends we will hear about it, and you will be in really serious trouble. So remember that.’
I went back to the tent that I was sharing with five others in a total state of shock with tears of shame in my eyes. All I had for my horrible experience was a bar of chocolate.
‘Where have you been Markus,’ Walter asked me when I got back.
Luckily he couldn’t see my face as there was no light in the tent. I was sure that my face must be reflecting the disgust and shame that I was feeling.
‘I had to go and see Stefan Mulder after the sing song finished and he gave me a bar of chocolate. Would you like some?’
‘He gave you chocolate,’ one of the others piped up; all questions as to what I had been doing were banished from their minds at the thought of the chocolate.
I shared the chocolate bar and lay down on the ground to sleep. I felt dirty and abused after the treatment I had received. I had always looked up to Herr Mulder as my father figure; he had always been there for me as I was growing up. My whole life centred on the Football Club and the Hitler Youth, and he was the leader of both. How could he have let Herr Schmidt do that to me tonight? The trust that there had been between us had been irrevocably broken. I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter 3
I seemed to have just gone to sleep when the whistles were being blown at 6:30 am to get us up. We had to have breakfast and pack up the camp. Going towards the breakfast area anxiety gripped me as I dreaded bumping into either Herr Mulder or Herr Schmidt.
I was careful to stay away from the areas where it was likely the leaders would be, and I didn’t meet either of them before we left to return to Lubeck.
All the Hitler Youth members, from the different areas of Lubeck, marched back together. It was only as we entered the city itself that we split off to go to our own stadium. There were about forty drummers divided evenly between the front and the rear of the three hundred members, and they rasped out a steady beat as we marched along. It was an impressive sight as we marched along on that beautiful summer’s morning. There was even a smell of summer in the air from all the wild flowers in the hedge rows that bordered the road.
At about the halfway point, the beat of the drums suddenly stopped, and we were given a break. I slumped down on the grass bank at the side of the road with the events of last night retreating into the back of my mind. One of the older members of our section, a rather unpleasant individual named Boris, came over to talk to me.
‘What were you up to last night Bekker?’ he asked me with a smirk on his face.
‘What do you mean what was I up to,’ I replied not too politely. Suddenly anxiety filled my heart again, and my stomach tightened. I was startled by his question.
‘I saw you go into Stefan Mulder’s tent last night, and you were in there for quite a long time,’ he added poking me in the shoulder.
‘He asked to see me with the regional director, and they then discussed a job that they wanted me to do for them,’ I replied as innocently as I was able.
‘I saw what happened, Bekker. I could see your silhouette through the canvas; the light in the tent illuminated what you were up you and I saw you strip,’ he poked me on the shoulder again.
‘Well I don’t know what you thought that you saw, but I was just talking to them and trying on some pieces of uniform that they gave me. When I was finished, they gave me a bar of chocolate to take back to share with my mates in my tent. You can ask Walter if you like.’ I decided to try and talk as casually as possible, in the hope that he couldn’t have seen much as the light had been very dim and the tent had been double skinned.
‘Well what is the project they discussed with you?’ he asked quite aggressively.
I was stuck now as I couldn’t think up an answer quickly enough..... Slightly desperate I said, ‘they ordered me not to discuss it with anyone so I can’t tell you.’
‘That’s a good one Bekker. Why did you take off your clothes?’
‘I took my shirt off; because they wanted me try on another one.’
‘And your shorts?’
‘Yes I also tried on a pair of shorts, and I obviously couldn’t wear the new ones over the old could I?’
I could see that there was now doubt in his eyes, and he didn’t appear to be as sure of himself as he had been. I decided to go on the attack.
‘What do you think that I was doing in their tent?’ I asked him.
‘It looked as if you were giving them a bit of a show as you seemed to take off all your clothes and then one of them fondled you. I couldn’t quite make out what happened at the end. Then you dressed again and left.’
‘Well I did take off my shirt and my shorts and then I modelled the new outfits for them, and the regional director touched me as he straightened out the creases. That’s probably what you saw. You have far too vivid an imagination.’
‘I know what I saw Bakker. Why are you defending what they did?’ I could now see from his attitude that he wasn’t 100% convinced of his facts, and there was an expression of doubt appearing on his face.
‘You don’t think that they would do anything when the Nazi party is so against any dubious activities. Would you like me to arrange for you to have a meeting with Herr Schmidt and Herr Mulder?’ I thought that this last bit was a masterstroke on my part.
‘No, that’s alright I don’t need to talk to them.’
He turned around and went back to join his mates, leaving m
e alone to dwell on what he had just accused me of. I reckoned that I had done a very good job of getting him off my back, but I was still worried about what Boris might say to the other members of our group.
When we returned to the Stadium and were putting the tents and other equipment away, Stefan Mulder called me over to him.
‘How are you today Markus?’ he asked me.
‘I am good thank you sir,’ I said, avoiding his eyes.
‘I saw Boris talking to you when we had our break on the way back from the camp. What did he want?’
‘He said he had seen me go into your tent and that he was able to see what was going on through the tent wall. He said that the lamp illuminated my profile and actions.’
‘What did you tell him?’ Stefan Mulder had become quite tense and was looking anxious.
‘I told him that his imagination had run away with him, and all I was doing was talking and modelling some pieces of a new uniform.’
‘Did that seem to satisfy him Markus?’
‘It planted seeds of doubt in his mind and made him question what he thought he had seen. I am just worried at what he will tell the rest of the group.’
‘Well done Markus, I think that you have done extremely well, and I will talk to him.’
He left me and went over to where Boris was putting away some of the heavier items. I could see him take Boris over to the side where he talked to him with a good deal of finger wagging.
I was more upset by this latest incident than I had been by the actual event the night before. By denying Boris’s allegation, I was now lying to cover up the whole horrible action of the night before. I was now in much deeper into the deceit, and I felt there was a possibility that Stefan Mulder could use it to make me do a sexual act with him again. The only way for me to step cleanly out of the situation would be to remove myself from the Hitler Youth and the Football practices.
As I was standing there trying to work out what was the best action to take, Walter came over to me.
War Brothers Page 2