"No," he said, still smiling. "But I thought about Cupcake when I saw it. I wondered if you'd ever get something like that for her."
"I honestly can't believe they even make such a thing," I said, shaking my head at him. "She looks perfectly cute in the twenty-dollar one I got at Incredipet." We took a few more steps before I added, "Y'all have some crazy stuff out there in California," in an exaggerated southern accent.
He laughed. "North Carolina's got designer dog collars, I'll bet."
"Well, not Cupcake," I said. "I would never even buy me a ten-thousand-dollar necklace, much less my dog."
A few seconds passed before he said, "I like your hair like that." He reached up and touched the back of my head, but as soon as I felt his hand there, it was gone again. I had styled my hair up with a scarf woven through like a headband earlier while one of my clients was under the dryer. Paige had actually helped me with it.
"Thanks," I said.
"I can see your dimples with it pulled up like that," he said.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, my heart pounded. "I can see your dimples, too," I said glancing at him as we walked.
"A pilot, huh?" he asked after a few silent seconds.
"Who, oh Garret? Yeah, he works for Southwest." I slowed my pace walking so that I wouldn't be so out of breath.
"I guess you like him," he said.
I did not know how to answer that. Yes, I liked Garret. I liked him fine. But compared to Evan, I didn't like him at all. Come to think of it, Garret was pretty terrible by comparison.
"How about you?" I asked, since I didn't know how to answer his question.
"What about me?" he asked.
"How are things with you?"
"Fine, I guess," he said, shrugging as we continued down the sidewalk. "It's my first day back."
"I heard," I said. "Mrs. Hunt came in to have her hair done early, and she was saying how excited everyone was to have you back."
"My mom?" he asked.
"Dee-dee," I said.
He smiled, and we took a few more paces in silence. We were getting close to the salon when he touched my arm, causing me to slow down and look at him. "I probably should have called you," he said with a sad smile. "For what it's worth, I regret not calling."
"Don't," I said, shaking my head. I had never been good at accepting compliments or apologies, and my instinct was to let him off the hook for whatever he was regretting before I even fully heard what it was.
"Don't what?" he asked.
"Don't feel like you need to regret anything."
"I'm not asking your permission to regret it, I'm just telling you it’s a fact. I should have called, and I'm sorry I didn't."
I smiled and shook my head, feeling completely at a loss for words. I knew the words coming out of his mouth that he regretted not calling me, but was I supposed to figure out that he was saying something more than that? Was he telling me that he wanted to be with me? Was he telling me to break up with Garret and run away with him?
"Please don't be sorry," I said, touching his arm casually right before we approached the door to the salon. I meant it in a please don't be sorry, because if you are, I'll have to break up with Garret and throw myself at you type of way, but I didn't say all that. I just said, "Please don’t be sorry," and left it at that.
He opened the door for me with a big smile and gestured for me to step inside. "You can't tell me not to be sorry," he said through smiling teeth when I passed him.
Mia, Nico, and Tristan were standing near the door when we came in, so it was obvious that Evan was hoping to keep them from hearing him when he spoke. I glanced at him with a somewhat fake smile and thanked him for holding the door for me. My heart was already beginning to ache again like it did when I walked away from him at the coffee shop.
"Are you headed home for the day?" I asked, smiling at Mia as I walked through the reception area.
"We're gonna get some takeout and help Evan unpack a few boxes if you want to come by," she said, sweetly.
"I'm, uh, I'm seeing your cousin's new movie, actually," I said, even though going to the movie with Garret was just about torture compared to takeout and box-sorting with them.
"Oh, okay," she said. She reached out to give me a hug as I passed by. "I'll see you in a few weeks," she said.
"Sounds good," I said, knowing she and Nico were headed to California for a couple of weeks and then to Myrtle Beach on their family vacation after that. "It was great seeing you guys," I said with a smile and wave in Nico and Evan's direction as I headed through the reception area and into the salon.
I wanted to walk straight back to the break room and cry. I wanted to fall into a chair and bawl my eyes out. My chest ached and so did my face and jaw. I knew I was on the verge of tears, so I went straight into the restroom. No one else was in there, so I went to the sink, resting my hands onto the edge of it, and letting my weight rest on it as I stared into the mirror. I took a deep breath and washed my hands and cheeks with cold water before heading back into the salon.
I did that corrective color, and it came out fine, but I hardly remember any of it. The terrible pressure I was experiencing on my chest had not faded as the hours passed. I felt heartbroken at the thought that Evan reached out to me and I denied him. Had he even reached out to me in the first place, or was I maybe remembering our conversation incorrectly?
Somewhere in the midst of that color correction, it occurred to me that I had to break up with Garret. It wasn't about Evan, either. It couldn’t be. I knew I couldn't base my decision on thinking I would end up with Evan, because there was just no way to tell if that was going to happen.
Regardless of the outcome with Evan, his return made me see that I could no longer be with Garret. If the thought of hanging out with Garret seemed like torture by comparison to the thought of hanging out with Evan, then something was wrong.
I felt utterly nauseated at the idea of a breakup, but I didn't feel any better about the possibility of staying with him. Either way, I had a stomachache, and I was totally preoccupied with deciding whether or not I should end things with Garret during the remainder of the color process. I smiled and nodded at my client, and asked questions about what was going on with her life, but I was completely out of it.
By the time I had finished with her hair, I had come to the conclusion that I had no other choice but to break up with Garret.
This would prove to be harder than I imagined.
Chapter 10
Turns out, Garret was really hoping that we would be together forever. He told me this and many other things when I tried to break up with him later that evening instead of going with him to the movies.
He met me at the salon when I finished up, and instead of getting into his car to go on our date, I told him, "We need to talk," as we walked out to the parking lot. I sat in the front seat of his car since I couldn't think of a better place to do something like that. I was feeling sick to my stomach and shaky when he looked over the console at me with those sweet, expectant eyes.
Breaking up with Garret was incredibly difficult. I told him I didn't think we should see each other anymore, and he proceeded to spend the next half-hour trying to talk me out of it. There were a lot of repetitive questions during that time, but I'll skip most of them and begin near the end of our conversation.
I was just about ready to throw in the towel and say maybe I had been wrong about ending things, but I thought about my reaction to seeing Evan earlier that day, and knew it wasn't fair to Garret to string him along. I told myself time after time in that conversation that it wasn't about Evan, and that I needed to break up with Garret even if nothing developed between Evan and me.
"I don't understand what's wrong," he said for at least the tenth time. "I thought you were okay with my schedule."
"It's not your job," I said.
"Is it someone else?"
It was the second time he had asked that, and at first I had acted like I didn't hear him.
"
No," I said. It wasn't a lie. This wasn't all about Evan. I had already convinced myself of that. "I'm sorry," I said reaching for the door handle after we had gone over the same things several times.
"I think it's a mistake, Annabel," he said in a hopeless tone as he watched me reach for the door.
"It might be," I said sadly. "All I have to go on is how I'm feeling right now, and right now, I just don't think that we're right for each other long-term."
"Bye then," he said after a few seconds. He seemed frustrated, and I hated ending things on a bad note.
"I'm sorry," I said, somewhat defensively.
"What do you want me to say, Annabel? It's okay? I'm not gonna say that. I don't feel it. I don't think this is right."
I sighed and pulled the handle to pop the door open. We had been going in circles like this for a while now, and I had to put one foot out the door and take a step at some point. "I gotta go, Garret. I'm sorry."
"It's a mistake," he said, as I closed the door tentatively. I almost opened it again since he had been talking when it closed, but it was something he had already said too many times.
I cried the whole way to my mom's house.
I cried for a lot of reasons.
First and foremost, breaking up was hard to do. That's why there was a whole song about it. There were probably millions of songs about it, actually. I cried because I felt bad for Garret. I cried because a chapter of my life was closing. I cried because I was embarrassed for Evan to think I went and broke up with my boyfriend the day he came back just for him. That was too much pressure for him. I probably wouldn't even tell him we broke up for a while. I probably wouldn't even see him for a while. I basically told him I was dating someone and to leave me alone.
That thought brought on another round of sobs.
I had a good, hard cry as I drove over to my mom's. My feelings were all over the map. I was sad, and angry, and embarrassed, and frustrated, and I was certain that I had made the wrong decision by breaking up with Garret since nothing was going to happen between Evan and me anyway. I let myself wallow in self-pity for twenty minutes while I took the long road to my mom's house.
By the time I got there, I had managed to calm my emotions enough to go inside and act like everything was fine. I was okay with my mom seeing that I had been crying since I had been planning on telling her I broke up with Garret. I didn't want her to ask a thousand questions, however, so I needed to have my wits gathered when I arrived at her house.
"What are you doing here, sweetheart?" she asked when I came in the house. "I thought you and Garret had plans."
I was staring down at Cupcake and patting her neck when I said, "I sort of broke up with Garret tonight, so we didn't end up going to the movies."
I had the best intentions, I really did. I drove around her neighborhood three times getting myself together so that I could walk into my mom's house and say it like it was no big deal. I tried my best to sound casual and deliver the statement like it was some basic, everyday piece of information, but I failed miserably. The "so we didn't end up going to the movies," part of my statement came out in a high-pitched tone that made it totally obvious that I was crying.
My mom stood up from her barstool and took me into her arms. "Sweeeetheaaart," she cooed, rubbing my back.
"I'm fine," I assured her, rubbing my cheek with the back of my hand and giggling a little. "I'm the one who broke up with him. It was just hard, because he was hurt, and he begged me to reconsider."
"Why'd you do it, sweetie?" my mom asked pulling back to look at me. "I thought everything was going good with you guys."
"It was fine, but it just sort of hit me that I couldn't see myself with him long-term."
My mom continued rubbing my shoulder even though I was no longer crying, and was now petting Cupcake. "She was gonna watch a Hallmark movie with me," my mom said, assuming I'd take Cupcake and we'd be on our way.
"I'll watch a Hallmark movie with you guys," I said.
My mom was delighted with this, and I was happy for the opportunity to unbutton my pants, take off my bra, and eat almost a whole pint of Haagen Dazs after a Mexican TV dinner. I was tired and stuffed by the time I went home, so I fell asleep with more ease than I anticipated.
The next day was Saturday, and since it was my busiest day at work, it passed quickly.
Sunday was my only day off that week, and I spent most of it sleeping. (The whole afternoon, at least.)
I had to be at my grandma's restaurant Monday morning at 6:30. I hated waking up that early, but I always had fun once I got there, and I missed it on the weeks I didn't go. Friday was Diane Hunt's usual day for a blueberry biscuit, but lately, she'd been stopping by on Monday as well. I was almost sure it had something to do with a certain gentleman, but I would never go so far as to ask her about it unless she offered some information first.
There was an older, artist gentleman by the name of Nathan Voth who wore his white hair pulled back into a ponytail. He was the type of older gentleman who looked good with long hair, and I could totally see how Dee-dee would be attracted to him. (Hey, I was a sucker for ponytails too, obviously.) Anyway, Mrs. Hunt hadn't confirmed it, but I sort of thought she and Mr. Voth managed to arrange chance encounters with each other on Mondays at my family restaurant.
She happened to come in on this particular Monday, and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell her I was single. It had been three days since I broke up with Garret, and it seemed more like an eternity. I felt like I wanted to tell Evan, but I knew I should wait a while so he wouldn't think it was about him.
Mr. Voth was sitting at a table like he always did, and Mrs. Hunt came in and took a seat at one of the barstools near the register. I greeted her like usual, only this time, I was more nervous since I associated her with her grandson who now lived in my town.
"How are you Ms. Dee-dee?" I said, smiling as I set a glass of milk in front of her.
"I'm fine and dandy, Annabel. My grandson just moved back to town for the first time in I don't know how long," she said, with a huge smile. "I think he's been gone for ten years by now."
I obviously knew he was back, but I still acted surprised. "Evan?" I asked, trying to sound casual.
"Yes ma'am," she agreed excitedly. "I just knew that boy was gonna come back home. He was just too stubborn to do it."
I laughed nervously. "I'm happy for you that he's back," I said. "I saw him the other day when he first came into town."
"I know," she said. "He told me about that."
I glanced at her to find that she was smiling at me like she knew something I didn't.
"Oh," I said, feeling stunned.
"He's coming to have breakfast with me this morning," she added.
My gut clinched so hard that my shoulders moved forward slightly. It was all I could do not to let my face appear strained with the massive wave of adrenaline that washed over me at the thought of him coming in. I had heard of fight or flight, and I understood the idea of it, but never had I felt it so unmistakably. I would have done just about anything to run out of the restaurant and avoid Evan Hunt. I had to avoid him at all costs. I had to do it because, if he came in there, I honestly didn't know if I could refrain from throwing myself into his arms.
"That's awesome," I said, smiling at her. "I'll wait on your biscuit till he gets here."
"Paige and the babies are coming, too," she said. "We'll grab one of those tables over there when it comes open." She motioned to the area near Mr. Voth's table. Our tables turned over quickly, so I knew one of them would be open soon. That was good for me, actually. At least Evan wouldn't be sitting right in front of me the whole time.
"I think a couple is almost done over there," I said. "I'll grab their table for you when they get up."
She smiled. "Thank you Annabel."
"My pleasure," I said as I walked to the kitchen to package a to-go order.
I was on the cordless phone taking another order when Evan walked in. I glanced at him and
barely had the chance to smile before looking down at my notepad. I had finished taking their order, and they had already hung up the phone on their end, but I kept the phone to my ear and pretended to still be taking the order to give myself a few seconds to prepare. By the time I hung up and brought the ticket to the kitchen, Evan was sitting on a barstool next to his grandma.
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and I noticed that the table I had been waiting on was now open. The timing could not have been more perfect, and I said a quick, silent prayer to thank God for looking out for me like that.
"You're table's open," I said, glancing in Evan and Dee-dee's direction. I was so full of nervous energy that I grabbed the rag and dustpan and headed over to the table instantly. Dee-dee followed me over there and sat down once I had finished clearing and wiping it, but to my own dismay, Evan kept his seat at the bar.
"I thought we were sitting over here," he said with an easy smile when I came back to the counter.
"I know," I said. "Dee-dee likes the bar, but I think Paige and the babies are joining you."
"That's what she said," he said, gesturing to his grandma. "That's sort of a bummer for me," he added, leaning back on his barstool like he might crack his back on it. I could clearly see the muscles of his chest straining against the fabric of his shirt when he stretched like that. It was too much. I tied a knot in the top of a to-go bag just to have something to do with my hands. "I guess I should probably warn you that I'm gonna give you a hard time about that boyfriend of yours since I'm secretly hoping you'll leave him."
"Oh, you are?" I asked, in a teasing, challenging way.
"Yep."
"And what makes you think that will work?" I asked.
He smiled at me just before standing up with the intention of walking over to meet his grandmother. "Because secretly you want me to," he said.
The sound of my beating heart made it almost impossible to hear what Evan said, but I was almost certain he said he wanted me to break up with Garret so that he could take his place. Knowing this could not be entirely true (at least not in the long-term, highly-committed way I desired), I laughed like I thought he must be joking. I wanted to say, "I broke up with Garret three days ago. Where have you been? I've been waiting patiently for you to come get me on your white horse," but I didn't. I just giggled.
It's About Time (Hunt Family #5) Page 7