by Carmen Faye
Such a brimming smile as Darcy road along. Full of so much rekindled joy at simply being back over those two spinning pedals. There was only one thing that could have ever added to that smile, and that was the roar of the motorbike behind her as she rode. It was her strong, level-headed biker man watching out for her, keeping pace in more ways than one.
Damn it, Darcy’s life could only get better in one more way: winning the Tour de France. But she still needed to qualify for that to happen. That meant training hard again.
While the ride was good to loosen the dust that had built up while she was in hospital, it was not a training day, not yet. In fact, there was a specific destination waiting at the end of this ride. She would be back at that stage in the hopefully-near future, but there was someone Darcy needed to take care of before she could put her heart and body fully back into riding.
Yes, today was even more important than the big race. Darcy didn't hold much closer to her heart than cycling. There was only her family and friends. Aubrey had been essentially a part of both of these groups ever since Darcy cared to think back. Now she was held up in a mental institution, probably scared half to death about what might happen to her in the future.
The facility would come into view soon and Darcy started to prepare herself for everything she had wanted to say. Over and over, she'd gone through what Aubrey might need to hear, and how to go about mending a friendship that had gotten to a place such anger and even hatred. Was that hatred real? Darcy had realized Aubrey's mental illness might have only been the catalyst for her actions in the end. There was a very real possibility that she truly did hold feelings of animosity for Darcy. The friendship might have already been dead a long time ago, for all she knew.
Sweat started to pool in all the usual places, and the riding had not been particularly vigorous. Darcy had been holding back for a lot of the journey. Any time she'd started to take it too far and push herself to her limit, Speed had revved the engine of his hog and slowed himself down. He would until Darcy also brought her bicycle back to a more sensible pace before he would continue keeping pace for her as normal.
Having someone behind her trying to take over and boss her around was irritating. Darcy didn't like being told what to do unless it was in the bedroom. It was all in good fun then and make things more exciting. Still, she closed her eyes quickly and told herself Speed was only trying to do what a good coach would do. He didn't want her to try and force her body to recover too quickly. Doing that would only lead to a permanent break from competing. Speed didn't get his kicks from ordering people around. He only did it when they were looking to him for leadership, as they did in his club. Or, when logic dictated he intervene and tell someone they were making a stupid mistake.
They were nearly at the place. Darcy knew because she's studied to route for a good half hour the previous night. This wasn't a day of training, but she figured she could at least treat it like one, sort of, at least. She wanted to know all of the bends, turns, ups and downs. Even though Speed had made it difficult for her to act like she was preparing for a race, she was still able to practice all of her strategic thinking skills for racing.
Darcy was getting ready to slow down so they could make the turn up ahead. The engine that had been roaring so gloriously behind her faltered like there was something wrong with it. Speed had cut his speed down and quickly dropped back behind Darcy. She turned her head around to get a fast glance at what he was doing. He'd stopped and pulled up on the side of the road but he wasn't giving her any visual cues about what might be going on. She stopped and turned around to ride to him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked after she’d turned back and rode over to him. He was off his bike already, but didn’t seem worried about anything. “Your bike’s okay, isn’t it?” She knew how much he loved that bike. It had already needed repairs after Speed had leapt off it to come to her rescue.
“Everything’s golden,” he said.
"Well what are we stopping for?"
"I just wanted to show you something," he said with a cheeky smile trying not to show itself behind his austere expression. There was something going on but he was doing a good job of containing whatever he was up to.
Maybe he'd planned a special picnic. There was an expanse of green stretching around them on either side of the road. A creek was evening running along the base of the hills beneath the blue horizon. There was so much beauty in the world that it was almost criminal how often people were too busy rushing along to stop and enjoy it.
"Wow," she said as she walked her bike away from the road and stood it up beside a fence post.
Speed was doing something weird for sure. But all Darcy could think about was the majesty of the natural world that had just hit her over the head like a golden weight. For a minute or two she just breathed deeply and rested her body, which wasn't used to being so active again yet. She actually forgot all about why they might be there in the first place, let herself simply exist as a being of the planet for once.
Darcy hadn't been taking in the scenery while riding, though. She was more interested on the road itself and taking her aching joints and muscles for a test drive. It didn't occur to her just how immense in beauty some of these back roads were. "I didn't notice how nice it is out here. I hope Aubrey's getting a chance to enjoy the scenery, too." Then, the part of reality that is human drama snapped her out of it with a burning desire to know something. "What are you up to?" she said, yanking herself back from the distraction of the pretty surrounding.
"Darcy," he said at last. He was standing back from her at an odd distance.
If this were meant to be a romantic stop, he surely would have been all over her already. The thought of doing it out there would enticing. Maybe they would be able to come back and get a quickie in after they had finished visiting with Aubrey. But if things didn't go well, she might not want to.
"Yes?" she responded with unsure excitement. "You have to tell me what you're plotting, mister. This is driving me crazy."
"The last thing I want to do is drive you crazy," he said. "In fact, since the first time I met you that has been the furthest thing from my agenda. It was just physical right away, but that's all I had to go on before we actually got a chance to talk. You sure didn't like me, I know. But that's not—"
"What's with the speech?" she asked. Darcy knew what this might be leading to and the anticipation was making her feel anxious. Speed was going to announce something big. It could be a number of things. Maybe it was to do with the sponsorship and Darcy's riding career. He might even be telling her he's going to leave his life as a biker so he can go completely straight. She didn't know how she felt about that, though. There were so many things rushing through her head and it wasn't a good time for Speed to drop anything huge on her.
"Darcy?" he said.
That's when she realized that he had continued talking but the words had gone completely over her head. "Oh, sorry baby. My mind's been racing all day."
"And I don't blame you for that. Things have been crazy. My attempt at this whole speech thing has also been pretty dismal. You know what? There's no sense in trying to put on an act like I'm someone else. This isn't a movie anyway.” Getting down on one knee and pulling a small, black box out of his club jacket’s pocket. “Let me tell you why I stopped here. Darcy, I wanted to do this right. I don’t think there’s anywhere more right for you or me, than out on the road, riding. The sun, the asphalt, nature whizzing by but always there. This is how I always want us to be, soaring together. I thought I had everything until the first time I saw you. After that, you only pulled me in deeper and you never even had to try. It was natural, so I guess I’m saying this is meant to be. I don’t buy into all that shit, you know that, but I’m not stupid enough to let the perfect woman ever leave me.”
“What are you saying?”
“Will you marry me?” He opened the box and showed her a ring that must have cost more than most people’s houses.
Holy
fucking shit was what went through her mind but she was glad that she managed to hold the thought back from her vocal cords. “Yes!” was all she did say.
Speed put her new engagement ring on her finger, and they kissed for a long time. Arousal tingled at their extremities but they couldn't miss out on their appointment to see Aubrey.
"I wish we had time to make the most of that secluded clearing behind those trees."
"You know I wish the same thing. I can't let you miss talking to Aubrey, though. This is important for the both of you. Closure and all that shit, right?"
"Let's hope that nothing's going to be closing, though, let alone our friendship." After that, she said, "I thought you were no good at giving speeches. I can't believe you planned this whole thing and I had no idea. I thought you might have a business announcement or something. That was the most touching thing I've ever heard. Thank you, Speed, thank you! I love you! "
"I love you so much, Darcy."
“I gotta say, I never thought someone would ask me to marry them when I was out on the road, all sweaty and gross from riding my ass off.” She was suddenly glad they weren't going to have time to get intimate behind the trees. Being sweaty and dirty hadn't stopped them before. It seemed different now that they were engaged, though. Darcy felt like she had a lot more to lose now than she did five minutes ago.
“Sweetheart, out on the road is how you were born to be. You’ve never been more perfect, as far as I can see. Don’t change a thing.”
“I promise. But I think I’d like a shower before I properly thank you for this insane diamond ring, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh, I know,” he said.
With a strong air of doubt hanging around them about what would happen at the meeting, they headed to the facility. It was a nice place, too, not easy to guess how much Speed might have been spending to allow Aubrey to stay there. Darcy hadn't asked him out right what it was costing. She didn't pry into his financial or business affairs because there was no need.
"I knew this place was expensive but I didn't realize how nice it really is," she said as they entered the front gate. There was a security guard in one of those little booths, making sure no one came or went through the iron gate without the right permissions. He was efficient but courteous, and not at all like the guards Darcy had usually encountered outside of places.
"You care so much about Aubrey even after what happened. I knew you'd never forgive me if she wound up in a government funded home or prison. Was I right?"
"Not to sound ungrateful, but you're damn right I wouldn't have forgiven you. I know you can afford it, though." She nudged Speed with her elbow playfully. Darcy liked the fact that her man was rolling in the money, but didn't have to go around making a big deal about it.
Aubrey was waiting for them in her room when they got there. A nice lady who was dressed all in white lead them through the facility. "She's in here. Say hello and see how she's feeling. If you like, and if she's up to it, you can go and spend some time together in one of our lovely common areas.” Her voice was melodic velvet floating through the air. If everyone there was so calming, it was no wonder Aubrey had apparently been doing better already.
"Darcy!" she called out with excitement. It looked like she was going to jump up from the chair where she sat by the window. Then, a sense of embarrassment overtook her overt eagerness. Her face went red and tears pooled up over her eyes. "Oh, Darcy…I'm so, so," but she couldn't finish what she was saying.
"Aubrey, honey, please don't cry," said Darcy. She walked over and put her arms around her friend to hug her.
At first it startled Aubrey, whose eyes were blurred by her crying so much that she mustn't have been able to see clearly. But then she eased into the hug and clung to Darcy.
Darcy almost chuckled from the awkwardness of it all. She didn't know what to say. Things weren't as natural as they had been only a few months earlier. The friendship had been battered and abused, leaving her unsure about how to pick it back up so quickly. She had not expected something like this. Yelling, accusations, guilt, those are more the type of things she'd been anticipated on the way out there. After a few minutes, the tears had mostly subsided and been replaced by just occasional sobs.
"Hey, hey, look at me," Darcy said and pulled herself back so she could look Aubrey in the eye.
"I'm sorry."
"I know you are. So am I."
"What do you have to be sorry about? I tried to…it's too horrible to even talk about," said Aubrey. She pulled back and took a seat on her single bed, white bed cover, neatly made. "Look at me. I'm too pathetic to face up to what I did."
"You're not pathetic," said Speed.
She looked over at him as though he'd been invisible up until he spoke. Aubrey didn't know where to look once she'd done that. "Speed, I don't know, you must think…you both came to see me. I can't believe you would even want to," she said.
"Of course we wanted to," said Darcy. "They've told us about your diagnosis and what you've been going through, Aubrey. A lot of people wouldn't have been able to keep it together for as long as you did. I mean, you were dealing with a serious thing for so long, and you were such a big inspiration to me the whole time. I say you're a lot tougher than anyone I know."
"I agree there," added Speed with caution. He was trying not to say the wrong thing, which was a rare act for him.
"You've always been so good to me, Darcy. These last months, I don't know what went wrong. Well, I guess we all know what went wrong. It doesn't feel like that was me. That probably sounds like a lame excuse for being an evil bitch, right?"
"I don't care if you were being an evil bitch, which you weren't. You needed help, Aubrey. It really wasn't you doing that. There's no way my real best friend would ever do anything to hurt me. You'd never do anything like that. I love you."
"I love you, too, Darcy. And, Speed, I'm sorry for the position I put you in. I hope you can find a way to think of me as a normal person again in time, not the crazy woman who was stalking you."
"Consider it forgotten, Aubrey. I know you're a sweet girl. Believe me, I've known enough bad people to realize when someone's got a good heart. Besides, without you around, Darcy would want to spend all of her free time with me. A guy's gotta have his man time." He laughed a bit, but wasn't sure if that had been a mutually funny thing to say, and cut off the little laugh short. Aubrey and Darcy both smiled but more out of politeness than anything else. He added, "Do you two want some time to talk by yourself? I have a feeling things would be a little more natural if I went for a ride."
"That might be good," said Darcy as she tried to gauge Aubrey's preference from her facial expression. "Yeah, I think that's probably a good idea, babe." She cringed after calling Speed babe in front of Aubrey. She might be working to get over what had happened, but the idea of seeing those two being all lovey-dovey would still have to be hard to swallow.
“I’m so sorry,” Aubrey said again when Speed got back and it was time for Darcy and him to leave. “I hope you can forgive me for the way I acted…both of you.” She glanced at Speed nervously as she added that last part, and her cheeks went red. “That wasn’t the real me, I know it now. Thank you so much for getting me the help I’ve been needing.”
“Oh, Aubrey, you don’t have to be sorry. I should have picked up on the signs. What a shitty friend, huh?”
“Hopefully you can both move past this now,” said Speed. He’d been acting weird since they entered the building. Going to a place that locks people away for acting different wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time. It could have just been all the emotions that had been bubbling up inside of him lately. Darcy knew he was going through some deep changes and probably found it hard to deal with them.
“You two are perfect together. And I think we’ll be okay,” said Aubrey, as she hugged Darcy goodbye and kissed Speed on the cheek in a sisterly way.
“I think so, too,” said Darcy.
Chapter Twenty Eight
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nbsp; Everyone was there to see what happened one year later. Speed and Aubrey were waiting at the finish line beside each other. They'd been getting along like good friends and all the weirdness of the past was largely forgotten. They weren't going to be going out for coffee with just the two of them any time soon, but that wasn't the kind of thing Speed was into anyway. Darcy and Aubrey's relationship had strengthened back to the solid bond it had always been. It might have actually been stronger. They knew what they had to lose if they weren't careful, which made them work extra hard to be good to each other.
Darcy’s parents were there, too – had come all the way from their retirement home in Florida for this most special of occasions. "This is all so exciting," said Sharleen, Darcy's mom. "I can't believe I might actually see my daughter win the Tour de France!" She was practically vibrating with her excitement and could not stop letting out little gasps of delight. She was a cute old lady, kind of chubby which was surprising given Darcy's obsession with fitness. Her proud father, Maurice, followed her riding career fastidiously but was brewing his proud more subtly.