by Dawson, Zoe
But Poe was nowhere in sight.
The night was sultry and warm, the temperature at a comfortable 75 degrees. Allan pulled on the leash and Jared saw Poe sitting on a blanket, and he stopped short, his panic-driven terror giving way to a debilitating relief.
“You should stop standing there like a creep.”
He stared at her a moment, his racing heart recovering, his tone flat. “I wasn’t creeping. You scared the hell out of me.”
Anger licked through him and he started walking toward her. “Do you know how dangerous it is to be on your own? You have someone sending you threatening messages. It’s not safe to be walking around at night by yourself.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up by tossing and turning.”
“I wouldn’t have minded.”
He felt her tense when he folded down beside her, and it tugged at his heart. She did that a lot, that heart-tugging thing, mostly without even trying.
He didn’t know for sure, but he figured he was probably the source of her unease. He didn’t want to be the one to add to her worries, especially when he had a pretty good idea what she was worrying about at the moment.
She looked at him, her eyes snapping cobalt blue flame. “You’re not my keeper. I can take care of myself and have been since I left my overprotective parents behind. So, chill your jets.”
He ran his hand over the silk of her hair, letting it filter through his fingers. “It’s cool.”
“I know it’s cool.”
“No. It’s cool your jets, not chill them.” His anger dissipated. “I know you can take care of yourself, but I don’t think you should take these threats lightly.”
She folded against him, and he released a ragged breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding.
“I don’t. I locked both doors behind me.”
Allan settled on the blanket, his nervous energy draining once he was close to her.
Jared had something in common with the little guy.
He wasn’t sure if this was about him as relationship material or him as the fuckup dancer. Or, it could be a double whammy and be both.
He didn’t want to let her down, it was an ache in his chest which only intensified when he remembered that blood-soaked day and all the men he’d failed. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to push the images away, but they crowded his mind like the zombies Poe had such fun planning to defeat. His apocalypse was all too real. His inadequacy all too fresh.
He didn’t know what to say to her. I think I’m falling for you and I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want to lie to you. But I want to keep you safe.
Or, The idea of losing you is scaring me crazy.
He’d taken on this assignment for Harper because she was Aiden’s sister. He couldn’t sugarcoat why he’d done this. And, now…now he’d found Poe, and she was deeply embedded in his heart.
Sarcasm was out. And brutal honesty…well, he’d made a promise, and he couldn’t go back on it, no matter what. Not even to assuage his own moral code.
So when she remained silent rather than badger him with questions, he took that cue and remained silent, too. And they just sat there beneath the night sky.
She sat there looking out over the city and he braced his back on a convenient lawn chair.
She slipped her hand over his as the moon flitted between breaks in the clouds.
Jared absently rubbed his thumb along the inside of her wrist. He made the mistake of looking at her. The moon chose that moment to blink through the night clouds, illuminating her face. She wasn’t smiling, or frowning. She looked…contemplative. Normally such a look would make him want to run for the hills, and there was a twinge of that, although for entirely different reasons than usual, but more than that, he really wanted to know what she was thinking.
“Come here,” he murmured, tugged her hand next to his hip, turning his body into hers.
“What?” she said, but let him pull her right up against him. He loved how easily they did that, framed each other. So effortless, so damn good. “What’s going on in there?” he asked, pressing his forehead to hers.
“Mmm,” she hummed, kissing his chin, then rubbing her cheek on his stubble. “As little as possible. I’ve been accused of thinking too much.” She sighed a little then, and the smile that had begun to curve his lips tripped up some. “I just want to stop analyzing everything,” she said. “Nerd hazard.” She tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, but the moon was swallowed up again, leaving her upturned face in deep shadow. “You’re an analyzer.”
He nodded. His heart tightened. “I-I was pretty good at it.”
“Was?”
He held her gaze for a long minute, then sighed a little himself. “I was the security expert for my unit. They call it the intelligence officer. I ran scenarios for safety.”
Her eyes widened. “The scar…”
He swallowed and her hand tightened in his. “We had a mission to flush some insurgents in the mountains. I was in charge of the route and the security. I did a lot of recon and set up the route and any contingencies.”
“But something went wrong?”
He nodded. “Before we could even get to the insurgents, we ran right into an enemy patrol. They blew up the front vehicle and the back vehicle on this narrow mountain road. We were boxed in. We returned fire, but we were sitting ducks, and they picked us off one by one. Some of the back vehicles were able to escape, but a buddy and I were trapped in a shelled Humvee.”
“How awful and terrifying that must have been.”
His stomach turned over. “The pain was overwhelming. I was hit in several places, but really bad in the side. My buddy gave me first aid and bandaged the wound as best he could. He was hit, too, but not as badly. He was so calm, so decisive.”
“How did you get out of that ambush?”
“We were lucky night had fallen. We slipped out of our Humvee and used the burned-out vehicles as cover until we made it to the open desert.”
She shuddered. “How far were you away from help?”
“Ten miles.”
“Oh, God,” she covered her mouth and he closed his eyes.
“My wound slowed us down. I begged my buddy to leave me and save himself. We were in a very bad location, surrounded by rebels, vulnerable, and I was severely wounded.”
“My heart is beating a mile a minute just thinking about you being in so much danger and pan.” She slipped her hand up under his t-shirt, rubbing at the skin of his lower back. It felt good and soothing.
“He ignored me. Marines never leave a man behind. When I collapsed, he simply threw me over his shoulder and kept going. By then I was delirious and had lost a lot of blood. I wasn’t going to last much longer. My wounded and exhausted buddy carried me through the night until we made it back to camp.”
She pressed her cheek to his. “Wow, that’s amazing. The war, it’s so far away, and I don’t know anyone else who is involved in it. But, I can tell you at this moment that I am honored to be sitting in the presence of a man who’s willing to do so much to serve his country. You humble me.”
“No, Poe. I don’t deserve that, but thank you. My buddy deserves it. And, I never got a chance to talk to him.”
“What? Why?”
“We were medevac’d out and sent to different hospitals. He needed surgery on his leg and hip and I needed surgery and intensive care.”
“You should make time, Jared.”
“I know, but every time I think about going,” his throat got tight, “I can’t seem to get up the courage to face him. We lost a lot of men that day, good men.”
She rose up as the moon burst from behind a cloud. The sorrow and compassion on her face arrowed right to his heart and settled there, warm and heavy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and just held on. Held him as the moon disappeared so completely it left them in sheer darkness.
His heart melted as he felt the warm wet slide of her tears
on his neck. “God, Poe don’t cry, darlin’.”
“I’ll cry if I want to, mister.”
He realized she was right. Just because it made him uncomfortable to have her upset was no excuse for denying her the right to feel whatever she was feeling. “You’re right. I closed down my feelings for a long time. It’s natural to feel fear and pain and loss.”
She nodded against his neck, the silk of her hair brushing his skin softly, and he was so thankful she was the first person he’d talked to about what happened.
“Don’t be macho. There’s no need to ever hold anything back, Jared. You’re safe with me.”
Suddenly his eyes stung and he held her tighter. Growing up in a household with a brother and a father, and without the influence of a mother, he was used to being stoic, but being stoic now wasn’t the answer. He was sure that attitude had gotten him through the worst of that harrowing night with Aiden, but he wasn’t in the Middle East anymore.
She didn’t say anything else. But when she let him go and faced him, he knew from her thoughtful expression it was only going to be a matter of time before she asked more questions. That was fine with him. He liked it that she was curious about him, that she’d want to know more. Oddly, he’d never once felt compelled to share that with anyone else, not even his father. Roy had been so happy to see him. He’d never forget how proud his dad had looked. It had been tough for them both. His father had rushed to Bethesda to wait out the surgery. He’d been there when Jared woke up, but it had to be a quick visit. Ranch and cattle waited for no man. And Nate had shown up only moments after his father had left. But he’d never said—he’d never wanted to say—a word to either of them about what had happened.
Telling Poe was a release. It was also part of being in a true partnership. Not only did she deserve to hear the truth of his life—after all, anything less showed a lack of respect—but also, there might actually be some comfort in being able to share the lows as well as the highs. He’d never looked at it that way before. Now that old attitude seemed incredibly limiting to him. And kind of…lonely.
But he was caught in a trap of his own making here. He’d promised Aiden’s sister, the sister of the man who had saved his life, that he would protect Poe. To do that, he had to keep something crucial from her, but this, at least, he could share with her.
He wanted to know more about her, and it had been so interesting to see her in her element when she was conducting Daisy’s exam and trying to understand what was wrong with the dog. She was so caring and sweet, so exotically beautiful, so unique and quirky. He knew from the way she cared for her dogs and for Daisy that she’d make a great mother.
Whoa. He had no idea where that had come from.
“Jared?” she bumped his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I asked if you were ready to go in. It’s getting late.”
“Yes.” He rose and he reached down to help her up. “I came out here to see what was wrong with you and spent all this time talking about myself.”
“I need to do more analyzing before I have anything even remotely resembling a coherent thought. Right now I feel I’m running on one brain cell. So don’t make any sudden movements, and don’t make me do math in my head, and I’m sure I can go at least twenty minutes at a pop before I need to take a quick nap.”
He chuckled. Freaking amazingly quirky.
She bumped his shoulder again. “Where did your mind go just now, anyway?”
It was enough he wanted to share stories with her he’d never shared with anyone. No way was he telling her about that last little mental meltdown. “Just that I’m glad you’re the first person I’ve told.”
His eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that he saw the little shadow that crossed her face after he said it. They were so comfortable with each other, it was hard to imagine that in a short period of time, very short if his suspicions proved correct, they would be out of each other’s lives. Possibly for good.
He was building a bond with her, but would it be strong enough to weather the realization that he was here at Harper’s request? Poe had distinctly told her not to meddle, but, being Harper, she had done it anyway. Now he was knee-deep in wanting Poe and too close to probably losing her.
Back down in the apartment they got into bed and Poe snuggled up to him. “See,” she said with amusement in her voice. “imminently huggable.”
He was getting in too deep, and the more time he spent with her, the more he couldn’t imagine his life without her.
#
Poe balanced the bike between her legs as she watched Jared give Daisy her scent using one of her socks. “Track, Daisy,” Jared said.
The little hound bayed around in a circle she was so exciting. Poe smiled. She took the rope with her sock attached and tied it to her handlebars. “Okay, give me a head start, then let her go.”
She pedaled off toward the center of the park, dragging her sock.
When she glanced behind her, she saw Jared had let Daisy go. The little basset ran full-out, and Poe turned to focus on where she was going as she got into a busier section of the park.
She detoured off the sidewalk onto a dirt path to give Daisy a bit of a challenge. They didn’t want to make it too easy for her.
It was a bumpy ride, but when Poe heard the joy in Daisy’s bark, she smiled to herself. Finally she reached where they’d decided to let Daisy have her treat and some water.
She stashed the sock and one of the yappy meals she’d bought from Brooke in some bushes and stepped away just as the little dog came pelting up the walk, her ears flapping. Jared was right behind her.
He wasn’t even breathing hard as he slowed. Daisy sniffed around as if teasing them. Then she made a beeline for the bushes, ferreted out the sock and the treat, crunched up the treat, and then flopped down panting in the shade. Poe gave her some water in the dish she’d had in her backpack.
“She loved it!” Poe said, clapping and jumping up and down. “Did you see her go?”
Jared chuckled. “Maybe I should change her name to Lightning?”
“No. Daisy is perfect.”
Suddenly a woman screamed and cried, “Watch out!” Poe turned to see a rider-less chestnut horse bearing down on them, shooting clumps of grass from churning hooves.
Poe jumped out of the way, but Jared didn’t move. Poe watched him from the safety of the grass. His gaze never wavered. As soon as the horse came close enough to barrel right into him, Jared lunged, caught the edge of the saddle and was hanging on like a limpet.
As the horse galloped away, he vaulted into the saddle and, before Poe could even blink, he’d stopped the runaway animal and was trotting back to her. The woman had made it as far as Poe, and she said, “Thank you so much! I don’t know what happened. I’ve never lost control of Buttercup before.”
Jared dismounted in one smooth movement and handed the reins over to her. “You’re welcome. You might want to walk her for a bit. She’s spooked.”
The woman stared at him, and Poe couldn’t blame her. He might have been gutted emotionally by what had happened in Afghanistan, but he never hesitated to handle a situation with ease and competence. He’d been forced to leap into action and had done very well. If only the man could dance.
“Have we met before?”
The sun illuminated his espresso-dark hair, spilled over his face, contouring his features with shadows, the square angle of his tough jaw, the straight dark lines of his brows, the seriousness of his gaze—and the world’s most amazing mouth. That was a lame pick-up line, and, so help her God, if the woman tried to get his number…
Jared shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
Her face brightened. “I know. You’re that guy who saved that little dog from going into the gutter. I saw it on YouTube. It’s all over the net. You’re quite the hero.”
Jared flushed and he glanced at Poe. “What?”
“Yeah, some guy filmed it. It’s really great. Thanks again.”
She led the horse off and Jared rubbed the back of his neck and said, “Shoot! Allan is one little troublemaker.”
“Yes, now I guess you can understand why we’re getting death threats.”
Jared sobered. “It’s got to be more than that, Poe.”
He bent down and clipped on Daisy’s leash. “Walk,” he said and Daisy rose and toddled after him on her stubby legs. Poe walked the bike.
“What’s your professional opinion?”
“It’s revenge for something this guy perceived you did to him, or that The Terrible Two did to him.”
“It’s a really bad way to handle his anger. Talking to me, asking for retribution, or suing me would be better than scaring me half to death.”
“Agreed. Unless there’s a reason he wants to keep his identity a secret.”
“You think it could be someone I know? I hadn’t thought about that.”
“You heard his voice. It wasn’t someone you recognized?”
“No. I don’t think so. But I was freaked out at the time and I hung up really fast. I’m hoping it’s blown over. He hasn’t bothered me in almost a week.”
“You need to be on your guard. He could be lulling you into a false sense of security.”
“You really are a security specialist.”
“I was a soldier, Poe. I had to be ready for anything.”
She nodded. “I understand that. But there is no war here.”
“There’s danger all around us.”
“Chill out, Jared. You really need to stop being so vigilant and start having fun. I say that’s what’s lacking in your life.”
“I have fun.”
“When?”
“When I’m with you.”
“Exactly. I’m the embodiment of fun. I’m fun personified. Who wouldn’t have fun with me? You need to have fun.”
“I play basketball. That’s fun.”