I think if the next President is to learn anything from this whole episode, it's that he should be totally forthcoming with whatever dark secret he harbors, thereby completely defanging the rabid pack of partisan watchdogs nipping at his heels. You know, at this point I really believe that our entire nation actually would deify the first President who steps up to a podium, looks dead into a television camera, and says, "Folks, she blew me. As a matter of fact, she's blowing me right now. But enough about me. Let's talk about cutting yourrrrrrrr—AHH! taxes."
Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Table of Contents
The Republican Party
Preface. 4
Talk Shows 5
The Social Responsibility of the President 6
Work- Obsessed People. 8
The End of Privacy. 9
Style vs. Substance. 10
Money & Greed. 12
The Oscars 14
Going Bald. 16
Fear of Flying. 18
Capital Punishment 20
Neighbors 22
Country Music. 24
One Hundred Shows 26
The Republican Party. 28
The Extinction of Customer Service. 29
Apathy & Cynicism.. 31
The War on Drugs 33
Survival of the Fittest 35
Aging Gracefully. 37
Our Overdependence on Technology/Y2K Bug. 39
Faith. 41
Super Consumers 43
Death of Eccentricity. 44
The End of Accountability. 46
Rock & Roll 48
The Need For Reason. 50
The Oscars 52
Skepticism.. 54
Bad Taste. 56
U.S. as Global Police. 58
Charity & Philanthropy. 60
College Life. 62
Doctors 64
Popularity & Charisma. 66
Pets 68
Buying a House. 70
Models 72
Wrestling. 74
Special Interest Groups 76
Is Everything Getting Worse? 78
Blatant SelfPromotion. 79
America's Fascination with Rebels 83
Taxes 85
Paranoia. 87
Network News 89
Talk Radio. 91
The Space Program.. 93
The Backlash Against the Wealthy. 95
Affirmative Action. 97
I Rant Therefore I Am Page 14