Just as I’m about to answer her, Melanie knocks on the door. Maddy tells her to come in and it takes me a second to realize that she’s carrying the cordless house phone in her hand.
Maddy reaches for it and Mel shakes her head indicating that it’s not for her. “It’s for Reid, actually. It’s a girl.” A stunned look plasters my face as I take the phone from Mel who promptly exits the room to give me some privacy, though I have no freaking clue who would be calling me here.
“Hello?” I ease Maddy off of my lap and stand from the chair; I begin pacing the room.
No one speaks initially. All I hear are sobs and a sharp intake of breath. “It’s Katie. Reid, it’s your mom. She . . .” Her quaking voice fades and I hear her trying to catch her breath through her sobs.
“What, Katie? What happened? Is she . . . ?” I can’t even finish the words. In this instant, I know that I have to go home one more time.
She quickly recovers. “No, no, no! It’s not that. It’s just that she’s not doing well. They don’t think she’ll make it another month. They’re only giving her a few weeks at the most. I . . . I know you left in a rush and that you’re confused, but I . . . I just thought you’d want to know.” I hear her blow her nose away from the phone and then she’s back on the line. “We’re taking her home today and then the hospice nurse will come take care of her.”
Maddy eyes me apologetically, but she says nothing. I return my attention back to Katie. “Okay, I’ll try. I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try.” I hang up abruptly and stare over at Maddy who is now sitting on the end of the bed.
She cuts me off before a word even escapes past my lips. “Before you say anything, please, let me explain. I haven’t talked to Katie since that night in the hotel on Long Island. I promise.” Her eyes are begging me, pleading with me to believe her. She stands and takes my hands in hers. “I texted her my number in case she needed someone to talk to over break and she couldn’t get me on my cell for whatever reason.”
Remembering my earlier thoughts about trying to put the past behind us, I choose to accept her words. Folding my arms behind my head, I inhale deeply. Filling my lungs with as much oxygen as possible, I then let out a huge puff of breath. Now that my anger is gone, I turn around and look at the truly apologetic look on Maddy’s face. She’s too freaking cute.
“It’s okay. I’m not mad.” I proceed to relay to her the information that Katie just told me about my mom. Again, she doesn’t force my hand to make any decisions; she just lets me say what I have to say, and she just listens.
I’m defeated and exhausted from this new rush of emotions. “Can we just not talk about it anymore tonight? I just want to enjoy my last few hours with you.” She smiles warmly at me and kisses me with her full, sexy as fuck lips.
I can’t help but be amazed at how much has changed in one week. We’re back together; the baby is fine; I finally won’t be alone for Christmas. It seems like everything is on the upswing, except, well except if you take into account that my mom and I are out of time.
I think Maddy can sense that I can use a distraction, so she suggests that we order a movie from cable, curl up on the couch and make some popcorn. “Come on. I’ll even let you pick one of your boy movies,” she teases.
“That sounds perfect, baby.” We smile brightly at one another, happy to leave the past behind us, for now.
Stretching up on her toes to kiss me, she mumbles against my lips, “I’ll even let you slap my ass again.”
She starts walking away glancing coyly over her shoulder to make sure that I’m following her. I let her get a few steps away before I move to catch up. I smack her playfully and wrap my arm around her waist. Bending down to kiss her, I say, “I’ll make the popcorn and you just sit there and look pretty.”
A few hours later, we stand in the doorway saying our goodbyes and I notice tears beading in her eyes. I cup her cheek in my large palm and pull her face up to mine. Softly pressing my lips to hers, I say, “I’ll call you as soon as I get there. I love you, Maddy. Things will work out. I promise.”
She nods and the tear that was threating just moments ago, spills over her eyelid and down her cheek. I kiss it away and pull her close. She wraps her arms tightly around my back and inhales my scent. I kiss the top of her head and pull away.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I look up at her. “I love you, babe. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Love you too, Reid. Drive safely.” She places her fingers to her lips and blows me a kiss.
She stays on the porch until I’m in the truck and pulling out of the driveway. Staring into the darkness before me, I have never felt so hopeful. My mother aside, I have Maddy back and that’s all I could ever ask for.
Chapter 13
Thursday December 20, 2012
This week has been absolute hell. I wish I could say that being without Reid is the only thing that has made it that way, but I would be lying. All I’ll say is that morning sickness is no joke. And it’s also not limited to the morning. I keep telling myself that it’s all worth it, that plenty of women go through much worse and I am beyond happy, but the throwing up has got to stop at some point, right?!
But I do miss Reid. We talk every night and he texts me sweet nothings while I’m busy at work, but it’s not the same as being next to him, feeling his warm solid body next to mine in bed. I know it’s silly to miss him this much. It’s only a week and with the possibility of him not being able to move his internship, I might have to get used to the idea of being separated from him more often.
Thinking about Reid and about our future has me up before my alarm rings. The queasiness I’m feeling is also keeping me from sleep. I’ve learned to keep some crackers on hand at all times. They seem to have helped this morning because as I climb out of bed and get ready to shower, I don’t feel like I’m going to puke. I don’t feel great by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel like I can at least make it through the morning without hurling.
When I leave for work, Mel is still fast asleep. She’s been going out a lot lately with some people I don’t really care for. I think being apart from Bryan has really gotten to her. They’re still not on the same page with their relationship and I know that it’s crushing her. I wish I could be there for her more, but she keeps pushing me away. It’s not an overt thing, but she’s just avoiding me. Sleeping when I’m awake or going out when I’m home. I miss her and I just wish her and Bryan figure things out.
The morning passes quickly at work. I really do love my job. The women here are amazing and kind and so funny. I haven’t told any of them about the baby yet. I plan on telling Kathy soon as I’ll need to make plans for some kind of maternity leave.
As my lunch break approaches, my unsettled stomach returns; however, I know this queasiness has nothing to do with my morning sickness. I’m nervous because I’m meeting Jay for lunch. After Reid knocked him out last week, I had to call him to apologize. I didn’t feel right leaving things the way we did. I need for him to know that we’re done and that I’m with Reid, but he doesn’t deserve to be treated like a piece of trash.
I told Reid as much over the phone the other night. He wasn’t happy with my decision. He started ranting about how I’m his and he won’t share me and all that crap. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes non-stop at the pointlessness of his anger. After telling Reid, more times than I thought was necessary, that I do, in fact, want to be with him and only him, he finally relented.
I’m lost in my daydream about Reid and our love as I sit at the table in the local diner waiting for Jay to show up. My sweet and innocent thoughts quickly morph into reminiscing about our last rather steamy love making session. God, I hope the doctor gives us the go ahead tomorrow. I miss his touch so much that even thinking about it makes me have to squeeze my thighs together in a vain attempt to get some kind of relief.
Of course, Jay chooses this moment to slide into the booth. At least he’s smart enough to sit across from me rath
er than next to me.
“Hey, Maddy. You look good.” His chipper tone is light and cheerful and it makes me hopeful that I’ll actually be able to survive this lunch.
I smile brightly at him and say, “Thanks, Jay. You look good too. Thanks for meeting with me.” I meet his eyes and offer him a sincere look. “I feel so bad about what happened last week.” I fold my arms in front of me on the table and he notices that my cast is gone.
“All healed now?” He eyes my arm and his voice is happy, relieved almost.
I hold up my atrophied arm. “Oh, yeah. It still feels so weird to have it off, but so good too. I just got it off yesterday. Thank goodness it isn’t summer time. That would have been one hell of a tan line.” We share a light laugh which the waitress interrupts.
She takes our drink order and when I order a ginger ale, Jay eyes me suspiciously.
“Finally quit that Cherry Coke habit, huh?” Leave it to Jay to remember the smallest details.
“Um, yeah, I guess so.” I’m pretty sure he hears me tumbling over my words. I’ve been here for less than five minutes and already, I feel like an idiot.
I avert his probing eyes by reading over the menu. Nothing looks appetizing and the distinct smell of eggs wafting out from the kitchen is only adding to my unsettled stomach.
Jay flattens his menu out on the table and folds his arms across it. We used to come here all the time so I don’t even have to ask. I eye him over the top of my menu. “Same as usual?” I ask.
His lips curl into a happy little smile that I’ve remembered what he orders. “Yep. Bacon cheeseburger deluxe.”
At the mere thought of the grease, my stomach revolts and I jump out of the booth. I can’t even get the words “excuse me” out of my mouth.
Sprinting to the bathroom, I’m more than grateful that it’s unoccupied as I empty the contents of my stomach in the sink. When the heaves stop, I rinse my mouth with some cool water and drag a damp paper towel across my face. Checking my reflection in the mirror, I can’t help but notice the pale green hue that my skin has taken on.
Good luck concealing this one, Maddy.
As I walk back to the table a few minutes later, Jay has a concerned look on his face. He stands as I get to the booth and grasps my shoulder in his strong hand. He looks into my eyes and his large brown eyes glow with warmth and love.
“Are you okay, Maddy?” he asks as we slide into our seats.
The waitress has delivered our drinks, and before I answer him, I take a sip of the ginger ale. It’s refreshing and even the tiny sip helps to settle my nerves marginally. “I’m good. I . . .” My words trail off as the waitress returns to take our order.
Whipping out her little pad and pen, she asks, “What’ll you have, sweetie.”
“I’ll have a plain bagel with cream cheese, please.” It’s about all I can stomach lately and after my recent digestive pyrotechnics, I’d really like to keep something down.
Shifting her attention to Jay, she awaits his order. But, rather than paying attention to the waitress, Jay is looking directly at me as he places his order. “I’ll have the same thing.”
He takes my menu and places it on top of his and then hands them to the waitress. As she walks away, Jay reaches across the table and holds my hand. “What’s going on, Mad? You always get pancakes and bacon. Are you sick or something?”
I came here to clear the air between us, to finally convey to him that there’s definitely no chance of us getting back together. Right now, I can’t think of a more effective way of doing that than to tell him about Reid and the baby.
I pull my hand out of his and he eyes me warily. I can see his mind racing and, before I have the chance to say anything, his wariness transforms into anger. “Is it that guy? Is he hurting you or something? You seem like you’re hiding something and you’ve changed so much since I last saw you.” He pitches his words low so that no one around us can hear his questions.
I can’t help but laugh at his assumption that Reid is hurting me. “No, Jay. That’s not it at all. That guy, as you call him, is Reid, my boyfriend.” Jay’s eyes widen in surprise, and if I’m not mistaken, hurt.
He doesn’t say anything, though. So I take the opportunity to say as much as I can without him interrupting me. “We met at school and we’ve been together for a few months. Jay, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I love him.” Jay leans back in his seat and stares out the window, avoiding eye contact with me at all costs.
The uncomfortable silence hangs thick in the air as the waitress returns to the table with our bagels. When she walks away, he leans forward again and this time, I reach for his hand. I won’t lie; I’m more than a little hurt when he pulls away from me.
“You love him?” His voice is laced with anger and pain, but it’s quiet and uneven, wavering with emotion.
I try my best to strengthen my resolve. I have always had a soft spot for Jay, but he’s right; I have changed and I’m happy for it. Most of the time when I was with Jay, I put on a happy face and just smiled through the pain. For the first time in my life, I feel alive and happy.
I sit up a bit straighter and look right at him. “I do and I won’t apologize for it.” My words are soft but I’m determined to convey that I’m with Reid, that Jay and I no longer have a chance. “Please understand that I was in a really bad place when we were together. I may have hidden it well, but I was really depressed about my life in general. Add in the stress over leaving for college and I was a real basket case.” I twirl my straw around in my soda in a vain attempt to keep my hands busy. When that no longer works, I start tapping my fork nervously on the table top. When it clangs to the floor, I take a deep breath and finish telling him about my mental and emotional state from when we were together.
“When we were dating, I truly felt like I was undeserving of love, but that wasn’t your fault. My not loving you didn’t have anything to do with how you treated me; it had everything to do with me loving myself.” I know it may not be what he wants to hear, but it’s the truth.
Rather than responding to me, he reaches across the table and grabs a little plastic container of grape jelly. While he’s spreading the jelly on his bagel, he looks lost in thought.
“Jay, please look at me.” He does, but his eyes are glacial. “I’m sorry I’ve hurt you, but I never meant to.” My eyes are pleading with him, the real him, not this cold hearted boy sitting in front of me, to, if not forgive, at least understand me.
He runs his hand through his neatly styled light blonde hair and his demeanor changes. There’s a shift in the atmosphere and it seems as if he’s made a conscious decision about his attitude.
When he reaches for my hand across the table, I’m a bit surprised, but I let him hold it. “Do you remember what I said to you when we broke up, Maddy?” I nod my head. Those words are seared into my memory. “Well, when I said that I hope you find love and happiness, even if it’s not with me, I meant it. So if you tell me that you’re happy, then I believe you.”
He smiles kindly at me and I can’t help but feel like a weight has been lifted. With a lighter and more relaxed tone, that of a friend rather than a pining lover, he asks, “So, can we catch up on things other than new boyfriends?”
I laugh and smile at him. The conversation takes on a more relaxed tone and it flows easily—just as it always did. I ask him about how he’s been over the last few months. I’m so happy to hear that he’s really enjoying school and that he has found his own little niche. We spend the next forty-five minutes catching up and it feels good to know that we’ve cleared the air.
I decided against telling him about the baby. He doesn’t need to know. I have a feeling it would just crush him even more. Jay will be leaving for school in a few weeks and I really doubt that I’ll see him again. He doesn’t strike me as the type to return to our quiet little town. Whatever his future holds, I’m just glad that we were finally able to put our past to rest.
When I get home from work, I’m su
rprised to see that Mel is there as well. She’s sitting in the den watching some gossip news. As I enter the room, she smiles cheerfully at me.
Patting the cushion next to her, she says, “Come here. I’ve got good news.” Finally! Maybe now she’ll be out of this funk that she’s been in for the last week.
I lean back against the sofa and prop my legs up on the old, beat up coffee table in front of us. A warm smile spreads across my face as I look at the chipped corner of the table.
I poke Mel playfully on the arm. “Hey, remember when you had to get stitches from this piece of crap table?” I tap my foot lightly on the table’s surface, careful not to bust it in half.
She looks over to the corner that was responsible for her four stitches and rubs her thumb across her scalp where her scar is hidden by her auburn locks. “How could I forget? It hurt like a bitch!”
“I know! I remember you screaming like a baby.” I stick my tongue out at her and she playfully swats at my arm. We share a few laughs at the memory, but when the laughter subsides, I move a little closer to her on the couch.
“Remember how I sat with you in the doctor’s office that day and held your hand while they did the stitches? And we just talked through the pain.” The tone of the conversation has shifted from playful and teasing to heartfelt and sincere.
“Yeah, after a while, I didn’t even feel it and it was over before I knew it.” Her wistful tone echoes a simpler time, but some things about that day will never change.
“Well, I’m still here for you.” I pause before carrying on. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and make her retreat from the conversation that we need to have. I twist in my seat to face her. “You don’t seem much like yourself lately, Mel, and I’m worried. You’re going out all the time and I’ve hardly seen you this past week. It’s just really out of the ordinary for you to act this way.”
The Love Series Complete Box Set Page 37