Cammie holds out the dresses she’s selected for me to look through. As Mel, Momma, Lia and Katie ohh and ahh over all of them, nothing stands out to me. ‘They,’ whoever ‘they’ are say that when you see your dress, you’ll know it, but so far, I got nothing. “Maybe you’ll feel different when you see them on a person instead of just a hanger.” The attendant’s comment is meant to get me excited, but it’s not like I’ll be trying them on. I doubt they even make dresses big enough to fit over this ginormous belly of mine. I can’t even see my feet!
Not wanting to rain on everyone’s parade, because, yes, they’ve all been looking forward to this since Reid proposed, I put on a smile and let Cammie play Bridal Barbie for me.
Five dresses and two bathroom breaks later, Cammie steps out of the dressing room in the final dress. It’s cream colored and strapless. The bodice is covered in lace and dotted with sparkles everywhere, but not so many that it looks tacky. It’s a traditional A-line shape and the skirt is full, but not too poofy. I love it instantly. Classic is the best way to describe this dress. It’s stunning and beautiful, and it’s mine.
I feel Momma squeeze my shoulder as she comes to stand behind my chair. I reach up and place my hand above hers. “That’s it. That’s my dress.” I whisper so only she can hear, but as soon as she does, she squeals in delight.
Excitedly, Momma shrieks, “That’s it! She loves it!”
Clapping her hands frantically as she jumps up and down in front of me, Mel pulls me from my chair and squeezes me tightly, well as tightly as my belly can afford. Most hugs these days are awkward and to the side.
“Maddy, you are going to look beautiful!” Mel says as she gives me one last hug.
And then it happens. Time stands still as my small group of friends and family stand around me and the puddle of water that’s at my feet.
“Oh my God! Maddy did your . . . ?” Katie can’t even finish her sentence, she’s so shocked. Hell, I’m pretty shocked myself.
“Oh shit! Well, it better be!” Lia adds sarcastically and Mel swats her on the arm. “Ouch! What? I’m just saying, either her water broke or she peed herself. Of the two choices, broken water sounds like the better option. I’m dying to meet this little nugget.” Even I can’t hold back the laughter at her reaction.
We’re all standing there frozen, me especially. I don’t know what to do. This has never happened to me before. Obviously. Just as I’m wracking my brain for what I need to do, Momma comes to my side and hands me my phone that she’s just pulled from my bag.
“You call Reid and take a seat. We’ll take care of putting the dress on hold and then we’ll pull the car around. Meet us up front in five minutes.” I nod at her instructions. Her voice soothes my nerves, but my fingers still tremble as I dial Reid’s office number.
He picks up on the first ring, as usual. “Hey, baby. How’s dress shopping going?” His deep and loving voice relaxes me a little, but I’m nowhere near calm.
“It’s good, but I think we’re going to cut it short.”
“Why? Do they not have anything you like?” I love that he’s at least feigned an interest in all things dress related.
“Umm, no. My water broke actually.” My voice wobbles slightly as the first contraction tightens like a steel band around my belly. He hears me gasp in pain.
“Oh, shit!” His words are yelled excitedly and nervously into the phone. “Okay, baby. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Shit, I wish I could be there right now. I . . . umm . . . let me . . .” He’s so frantic that he doesn’t even know what sentence to go with.
When the pain recedes, I say, “Shh. Calm down, Reid. We’ve got plenty of time. Go tell Dylan and then meet us as at the hospital.”
I hear his deep breathing through the line. “Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you, baby.”
“I love you too. Be safe,” I say as I end the call. Walking to the car is grossly uncomfortable with my soaking wet pants, but sliding into the car, I’m comforted by the smiling faces of my girls.
Momma reaches for my hand from the driver’s seat. “Ready, sweetie?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be, Momma.” But ‘ready’ is the last thing I’m feeling. Scared, anxious, excited—that’s what I’m really feeling.
By the time Reid meets us at the hospital, the nurse has already gotten me all hooked up to whatever IVs and monitors I need. Frozen in the doorway, his face pales and his eyes widen. He won’t admit it, but he’s scared. Seeing me on the bed, in a hospital gown with tubes and wires all over must have brought him back to my accident. This time, our hospital stay will have a completely different ending.
Reid walks toward the bed and I hold out my hands to him. “Hey, baby. You made it.” My voice is soft, but I cringe on the last word as another contraction tightens around my belly.
I squeeze his hands and my face contorts in pain. When I can open my eyes again, all I see is Reid’s concerned face. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” He grazes his knuckles down my cheek in an attempt to comfort me.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay, I think. It just hurts.” Hurts is huge freaking understatement, but I don’t want to scare him more than he already is. “Well, I’m right here for you. We’re in this together.” Reid kisses my temple softly and then busies himself with my ice chips.
The next twelve hours pass by in a blurry, pain filled haze. Contraction after searing contraction, Reid holds steady by my side. Feeding me ice chips and wiping my brow, he is never more than an inch away from me.
When Dr. Trivedi introduces me to the anesthesiologist who offers me the opportunity for pain relief, I want to leap out of the bed and squeeze the life out of her. After the epidural, I feel like a completely different person. The pain isn’t gone completely, but it’s bearable and I hope to get a little bit of rest.
A few hours later, I’m dozing as Dr. Trivedi enters the room to check on me. “Hey, Maddy. Let’s take a look and see how you’re doing.” She smiles brightly at me and sits on the stool at the end of the bed. Easing my legs to the side, she check to see how dilated I am.
I don’t feel pain so much as I feel the pressure. When she’s done poking and prodding at me, she adjusts the blanket and pulls some other items out of the cabinet behind the bed. Smiling reassuringly at Reid, she says, “Are you ready, Daddy?” Reid just stares at her. Dumbfounded, he doesn’t move or say anything as she fills out some information on my chart.
“It’s time to start pushing. I’m going to get some things together and have the nurses set everything up. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” The door clicks closed and I realize that these next five minutes will be the last that Reid and I spend together as a couple. After this, we’ll be a family of three. I’m absolutely in love with that idea.
After pacing the room, he returns to his spot at my side. Squeezing my hand gently, and lightly playing with my hair, he says, “Maddy, I am so damn proud of you. You’re doing great, baby.” All I can do is smile at him in return. Words simply won’t come out past the lump in my throat.
Dr. Trivedi returns with her nurses, and after they’ve gotten everything set up, it’s time to push. And pushing is no joke. After what feels like hours, Dr. Trivedi announces that she can see the head. Reid is still at my side, helping me hold my knee up to my chest. His face brightens and excitement replaces his fear. “You’re almost there, baby. You’re doing perfectly, Maddy. God, I love you.” He kisses my forehead as I brace for what I hope is one last push.
“Come on, Maddy. You can do this.” Dr. Trivedi coaches from the end of the bed. “You’ve got it, sweetie. Almost there. One more little push, Maddy.”
I’m trying my hardest to listen to her instructions, but exhaustion and nervousness are taking over. “I can’t . . . I can’t do this. It’s too much.” Anxiety is rising. Panic is setting in.
I feel a cool rag at my brow and then tender lips at my temple. Reid whispers into my ear, “Shh, Baby, you’ve got this. I’m right here. Now, let’s do this toge
ther.”
His soothing words and calming touch are all I need. With my composure regained, I focus on what Dr. Trivedi is telling me. “Okay, just a little more. Slow . . . slow. . . . alright, the head is out. Let me just suction and now just give me one more little push. Perfect. Here we go.”
When Dr. Trivedi places the baby on my chest and says, “Congratulations. It’s a boy!” my world stops. An overwhelming sense of peace bathes over me as I wrap my arms around my son. Everything that I’ve ever been through seems to have been leading me to this point. This tiny, bald, bundle of joy instantly makes all of the pain vanish. I finally feel complete.
Looking up at Reid, I notice a similar look of peace relax his features. Reid’s tear streaked face leans in close to mine. “I love you so much.” He can’t say more than that as happy sobs get in the way of his ability to speak.
After she cleans him up and swaddles him, Dr. Trivedi hands our son to Reid. “Congratulations, Daddy. He’s beautiful.”
With awe and amazement coloring his words, Reid replies, “Thank you.” He turns to me and my breath catches in my throat at the sight of Reid holding our tiny son in his arms.
“Maddy, he’s perfect. He’s so tiny.” Reid kisses his bald little head and then passes the baby, our son, very carefully into my arms.
As I’m staring into my son’s innocent eyes, Dr. Trivedi asks, “Does he have a name?”
My eyes meet Reid’s as I say, “Yes, he does. His name is Braden Shane.”
“That’s a beautiful name. I’m very happy for you guys.” She smiles warmly at us and gently pats my lag.
When all of the nurses have left, and Dr. Trivedi has finished cleaning and stitching me up, she leaves the room to get the rest of our family who I’m sure are all anxiously waiting to meet our new bundle of joy.
“I love you, Maddy. Thank you for giving me my son,” he says as he brushes a stray tear from my cheek.
“I love you too, Reid. More than you’ll ever know.”
Lost in the memory of Braden’s birth, Melanie snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Hey, where’d you go? It’s just about time to start.”
I feel Momma at my side as Mel makes her final adjustments to her dress and then mine. “Yeah, of course I’m ready. Sorry, I was just thinking about the day Braden was born. Who would have known that I would have gotten a wedding dress and a son on the same day?” We share a small laugh before Momma comes to our side.
Immediately as she kisses my cheek, the church coordinator hands Mel her bouquet and pushes her close to the door. Mel takes once last glance over her shoulder and blows a kiss to me as she walks through the doors. The deep crimson satin of her maid-of-honor dress shines as she makes her way down the candle-lit aisle towards Cammie, Lia and Katie who have already walked the same path.
Once the doors are closed again, I hear the Priest say, “Please rise.” Even though there aren’t all that many guests—we decided to keep it to just close friends and family—I can still hear the shuffle of everyone’s dress shoes along the tiled floor of the church.
Momma adjusts my veil in front of my face and then loops her arm through mine. “Are you ready, sweetie?” I can hear the emotion in her voice. Her words are wrought with happiness, and there’s a lump of pure joy lodged in her throat.
Afraid that I’ll burst into tears if I say anything, I just nod at her and smile through the shimmering tulle.
When the doors open, the music begins playing. Rather than the traditional wedding march, I decided to walk down the aisle to David Gray’s ‘This Year’s Love.’ As the lyrics about not being alone anymore ring out through the church, I think back to my life before Reid. We both spent way too much time alone in our pasts, and right here in this moment, as the soulful words accompanying Momma and I, I know that I am walking away from those dark times, into the arms of my love. We will most certainly make our love last.
I wave at Nikki and my other co-workers as they wipe away a few stray happy tears. Momma’s best friend, Linda, is sitting close to the front cradling our son in her arms. Luckily, it’s been a crazy day, and little Braden Shane is blissfully unaware of everything going on around him as he naps quietly in Linda’s arms.
As I get closer to the altar, my eyes lock with Reid’s. I know it’s wrong to think this in church, but he looks fucking hot. His traditional black tuxedo is perfectly molded to his muscled arms and chest. There’s only one place on Earth that tux would look better—the floor.
I hand my bouquet off to Melanie and quickly smile at Dylan, Jack, Logan and Joe who are standing on the stairs at Reid’s side. Reid reaches into his pocket and hands me a tissue so that I can wipe away my tears. We join our hands and smile at one another.
As the Priest begins addressing the guests, Reid leans in close to me. “You look absolutely beautiful. You’re breathtaking, actually.”
Before I can tell him just how beautiful he looks, the Priest asks for the rings from Dylan and Melanie. After he blesses them, we say the traditional wedding vows. There’s something so significant about saying the same words that my parents vowed to one another all those years ago. It’s just one simple thing that we chose to do on this very simple day to make sure that our declaration of love is as meaningful as possible.
Before being pronounced husband and wife, Reid steps down from his spot and crosses over to Linda. Cradling Braden in his arms, he stands next to me once again. Clearly his throat, the Priest resumes what he was just about to say, with one slight addition.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife . . . I now pronounce you a family.” On his last words, the small crowd erupts into cheers and begins clapping loudly, so loudly that they wake Braden.
Cupping his large hand over Braden’s sensitive ears, he shushes him and Braden calms down almost instantly. I take my flowers from Mel who smile brightly at me through her happy tears. Then, Reid, Braden and I walk out of the church as U2’s ‘It’s a Beautiful Day’ plays softly in the background.
Our small reception is held at a local restaurant. The place is beautifully decorated for Christmas. Large silver and red shimmering bows adorn the banisters leading up to the small dining room where our friends and family await our entrance.
As we walk through the doors, the cheers and claps ensue again. Our first dance as husband and wife is to a Dave Matthews cover of The Beatles ‘In My Life.’ Of course, we dance with Braden sleeping in our arms.
The night passes by in a blur of toasts, eating, dancing and cake cutting. While a ‘couples only’ song is playing, I notice Mel sitting at a table by herself, quietly lost in thought. “Hey, sweetie.” I say as I pull up a chair next to her. She smiles weakly at me and I know she’s sad.
“Are you okay, Mel?” I ask tentatively.
She just offers up another weak smile and sighs. “Of course I am. But let’s not talk about me. You look beautiful today, you know?” She’s a master subject changer, and on most days I wouldn’t let her get away with it, but today I’m not going to push.
“Thanks, girl. You look pretty good yourself, Ms. Maid of Honor slash Godmother.” I elbow her in the side and she finally smiles a genuine smile at me.
“Thanks, Maddy. Why don’t you go out there and dance. I don’t want to bring you down. I just miss Bryan, that’s all.” Averting eye contact, she starts picking at the corners of a napkin on the table.
“I know, Mel. I wish he could be here too. It’ll all work out.” I want my words to be true, but their road has been such a bumpy one, I’m just not sure anymore.
As she offers up one last lame-ass smile, Dylan comes up behind her. “Would you care to dance with me?” he asks as he stretches out his hand.
She stands from her chair and places her hand in his. “I would love to, Best Man slash Godfather.” She winks at me as they make their way to the dance floor. I want so badly for both of them to find their happiness. I can’t think of two people who deserve it more.
I’ve love every minute of it, but when
it’s time to pile into the car and head home for the night, I’m more than thankful to curl up in my own bed with my new husband.
We talked about getting a hotel and leaving Braden with Momma, but Reid refused. “I want to spend our first night together as a family. He’s our son, and it’s important that on our first night as a married couple, that we’re also together as a family.” Needless to say, I couldn’t come up with a valid argument.
As we walk through our door, Reid drops his keys into the small bowl on the beat-up side table that Momma gave us when we moved in. On top of the table sits some of our most cherished items: the picture of Reid and Shane, a picture of Reid, Braden and I from the day Braden was born, and my parents’ jar of sand.
It’s midnight by the time we crawl into bed and it doesn’t take me more than five minutes to cuddle up against Reid’s newly tattooed chest and fall asleep. My new favorite place to rest my head is on the tiny and freshly inked footprints of our son that are etched over my husband’s heart.
Sometime in the early dawn hours, I roll over and feel around in the bed. Reid’s not here, but the distinct creaking noise coming from Braden’s nursery is a pretty clear indication of where he is.
Leaning against the door jamb, I see the sweetest vision I could ever imagine. Braden is wrapped in a blanket, and the only thing I can see from my vantage point is his tiny hand pressed up against Reid’s bare chest. Opposite Braden’s name and footprints is a beautiful pair of angel wings. In the feathers, in a bold script that still looks masculine enough to decorate his perfectly sculpted pecs, is scrolled “In Loving Memory of Becca and Shane.”
He catches me staring and smirks at me from the rocking chair. Reid stands and gently places a now sleeping Braden back into his crib. Walking over to me, he whispers, “Hey wife.” His lopsided goofy grin is visible even in the low light of the rising sun.
The Love Series Complete Box Set Page 48