“Thank you, Momma. We will.” Reid hugs her and Melanie goodnight and softly closes the door behind them.
We sink down onto the sofa and enjoy the silence that we know won’t last very long. Looking up at the clock, Reid says, “He’ll probably want to eat in about a half an hour.” He pulls me to his side and I relax into his body. Clicking on the television, he starts flipping through the channels before settling on SportsCenter.
“The apartment feels different now, doesn’t it?” I ask as he’s lightly tracing circles on my upper arm. The motion is hypnotically soothing.
“It does. He makes it feel different. It feels like a home, now.” Reid plants a soft kiss on the top of my head, and as if he can tell we’ve just gotten comfortable, Braden starts crying from his room.
Reid stands and helps me up from the couch. “You ready for this, Mommy?”
“Nope, not a bit, but I’ve got you, so it’s all good.” He wraps his arm around me and we walk down the short hallway to take care of our son.
I won’t lie; the night didn’t go perfectly. Tears were shed—and they weren’t all Braden’s. We may have gotten only about three hours of sleep, but we survived. It may not have been pretty and God knows it wasn’t stress-free, but we did it together. And that’s how I’ll always remember it.
Chapter 1
Summer
August 2014—One Year Later
“Hey, babe,” I call out as I toss my keys on the sidetable by the front door. Dropping my messenger bag to the floor, I loosen my tie as I glance at the pictures next to me.
The framed smiles of my mom and Shane stand proudly on the table. After we moved in, Maddy finally decided to go through a few boxes of pictures that her Aunt Maggie left for her when she died. So now, mixed in with pictures of our happiest memories—the day Braden was born and the day we were married—are now pictures of Maddy and her parents from her childhood. Nestled in between all of the people who are most important to us, stands the jar of sand from the beach in Montauk. They might not all be with us physically, but in spirit, our families are still very present in our daily lives.
I hear dishes clattering and the garbage pail being slammed shut from inside. Hearing her muffled curses makes me laugh. Something is obviously stressing her out, so I make my way into the kitchen to check it out. Wrapping my arms around Maddy’s waist from behind, I pull her close to me and inhale the sweet scent of her hair.
Then, I catch sight of the kitchen.
“Did a tornado blow through here or something?” I kiss the top of her head and feel her sag against me.
On an exasperated sigh, she huffs, “No, there was no tornado. Just me thinking I could actually bake our son his first birthday cake.” That explains the flour dusted across her forehead, which I now notice as she turns to face me.
I can’t stifle the chuckle. “You should have known better, Maddy. You and this kitchen are enemies.” That comment earns me a smack to the arm.
“Why don’t you just order something from the bakery? You know, like I suggested a few weeks ago.”
Flopping into a chair, she takes stock of the kitchen. “Yeah, maybe. But I just want to try one last time. It’s important to me for some silly reason.”
“Sweets, it’s not a silly reason.” I squat down in front of her and lift her chin. “You’re an amazing mom. I love that you want to make it as special as possible.” I pop an innocent kiss to her lips and feel her smile. “Now, what can I do to help?”
Just as she’s about to tell me what to do, Braden giggles from his nursery. “Do you think you could take him out to the park or something for a little bit so I can figure this cake situation out?” she asks hopefully.
I kiss the tip of her nose. “You got it,” I say as I swipe my thumb across her cheek where a bit more flour is dusted. Taking one last glance at the mess spread out across the counters, I think maybe I should place an order with the bakery just in case.
“Hey, little man.” Braden is sitting in his crib playing with a stuffed animal, but when he hears my voice, he quickly pulls himself up using the railings and reaches for me to pick him up. Nuzzling into my chest, I squeeze him tightly. “What’d you do today, buddy?” His response of bubbles and coos is all I need to smile and laugh. “Really? Well, it sounds like you’ve had a rough one. Want to hit the park with me?” He’s only one, but I swear, when he hears the word park, he looks at me like I just asked a dog to go for a ride in the car. Wiggling in my arms, I can tell he’s excited about it.
“Okay, okay. Let’s go then.” I grab a few things and make my way back into the kitchen, where I catch the tail end of Maddy’s phone call.
“Who was that?” Braden reaches for Maddy grunting for her to hold him.
Reaching for Braden in return, she says, “It was Mel. She’s coming over to help me.”
“Oh, I see how it is. Daddy’s fine until Mommy’s in the same room.” Maddy rolls her eyes at me as I hand her Braden. “Does Mel’s ‘help’ involve a bottle of wine like it did last time?” I quirk an eyebrow at her and she sticks her tongue out at me, but she doesn’t answer.
She starts bopping up and down as she sings some silly song. Braden’s laughter fills the room. Maddy twirls around with him and his smile is infectious. So is hers. Maddy, with our baby on her hip, is a sight I’ll never get tired of. It makes me realize just how far we’ve come and how happy we are.
Sure, we’re exhausted most days, but it’s all worth it. This past year has definitely been the most trying in my life, but we’ve survived our first year as parents. I still remember that first night at home. It was hell—pure and utter torture. I was convinced Braden was possessed by some evil spirit sent here to keep us awake for days on end. Maddy had a bit of a rough recovery and was sad most days. Those days were the worst. Momma spent a lot of time here helping Maddy figure things out. We struggled a lot and fought more than I care to admit, but we decided anything that happened between the hours of 10 p.m. and 8 a.m. didn’t count. Eventually, Braden learned how to sleep through the night and we started getting some more sleep too. It’s amazing what you can accomplish on only four hours of sleep, but parenthood—added to working or going to school full-time—isn’t for the faint of heart.
This shit is serious work.
Yet, here we are a year later and we couldn’t be happier to have Braden’s first birthday party tomorrow with our friends and family. Between prepping for the party, me working overtime, and Maddy finishing her last summer course, we’ve barely been able to stay awake past eight every night.
But watching them dance and laugh in front of me makes it all worth it.
I pull them both into my arms and just hold them for a quick second before Braden starts shimmying out of Maddy’s arms. He’s caught sight of his Lightning McQueen racecar on the floor and is reaching for it. Handing him his car, Maddy puts him in his bouncy seat. The sight of my wife taking care of our son, talking baby talk and kissing him sweetly should warm my heart. But all I can see is her ass right now. Yep, I want her.
“Get over here.” I pull her back to me once Braden is situated and brush her hair out of her eyes. “You look beautiful, you know that?” I trail sweet, soft kisses behind her ear and down her neck.
“Hmmm,” she mumbles and it makes me smile against her skin.
Moving from her neck across to her mouth, I feel her lean into my lips. This is something else of which I’ll never get tired. Her full, luscious lips pressed against mine; the taste of her sweet mouth still drives me crazy. “Well, hello there.” Pulling away from our kiss, Maddy arches her eyebrows as she presses her hips into my groin. The last motion surprises me more than a little. To say that our sex life has been different in the last year is, well, it’s an understatement to say the least.
“What? I’m not allowed to want my wife.” I grab her ass and push her into my erection a bit more. Our hands roam as the kiss rises in intensity. I fist a handful of her hair and pull her mouth even closer to mine.
It’s the hottest kiss we’ve had in a while. Just as her hips start to roll into mine, we’re distracted by a sound, and smell, to which we’ve grown all too accustomed in the last year.
Before I can even move my hands from her body, Maddy’s pinching her nose closed. “Not it!” She calls out and laughs.
“Damn, you’re getting quick!” It’s kind of been our thing to decide who gets to change him. I scowl playfully at her and she just laughs at me.
“Dude, you’re killing my game.” Braden smiles as I hold him out in front of me. “Holy crap! What the hell did you feed this kid today?” Seriously, he’s lethal.
“He ate the same as usual. He’s just a stinky little monster.” She says the last sentence to Braden in that ridiculous baby talk. You can talk sweet about it all you want; it’s still poop.
By the time I’m done changing his diaper and changing out of my work clothes, Melanie and Bryan are walking through the door.
“Hey, little man. Aunt Melly missed you, you little booger.” She grabs Braden out of my arms and blows a raspberry on his round cheek.
“What? No love for me?” I shoot her a look of feigned insult as she shoves a grocery bag, filled with what I’m assuming is cake-making supplies, into my hands.
“Nope, sorry. You’re not cute enough.” She doesn’t even look at me as she bounces Braden around laughing with him. I can’t argue with her. He is pretty adorable.
“Don’t look at me, man.” Shifting all of the bags to one hand, Bryan extends his hand for me to shake. “Even I can’t compete when Braden’s around.”
Bryan walks into the kitchen to put down a few more bags of groceries and I can’t help but wonder what the hell kind of cake she plans on baking.
Maddy walks up next to me and wraps her arm around my waist. Stretching up on her toes, she whispers in my ear, “I’ll pay you all the attention you want later.” She quickly nibbles on my ear lobe and the erection I had managed to calm is back.
“I’m going to hold you to that, you know.” I run my nose along hers and kiss her softly. “No passing out on me like last night.”
“It’s a date, baby.” Her eyes are so wide I can see the golden flecks in her green irises. Maybe she’s as excited about it as she used to be.
“Okay, hand him over. You girls go do your thing.” I hand Melanie back the last bag of groceries and laugh as she pulls out the bottle of wine I knew she’d have with her. Yeah, because being tipsy is what’s going to help Maddy cook better.
Maddy and Melanie’s giggles filter back out into the living room and Bryan looks more than a little afraid to stay behind. I can’t blame him. Those two together with wine and chocolate—nothing good will come of that.
Slinging the diaper bag over my shoulder and grabbing my car keys, I clap my hand on Bryan’s shoulder. “Don’t worry; you can come with us.”
“Thanks. You sure they’ll be alright?” he asks as a pan crashes down to the floor.
“Yeah, they’re good, but we should stop and grab some take-out just in case.”
With dinner in one hand and an exhausted toddler in the other, we return home to a living room filled with girlish laughter. Maddy and Melanie are sitting next to each other on the couch chattering over some tabloid-like “news” show. They’re so engrossed over what they’re watching, they barely look up from the screen. I catch bits of the story—something about some book-turned-movie that’s coming out this winter. They’ve been buzzing over it for months now—years is more like it. I’ve already been told that I’m on baby duty that night, but if the pay-off from the movie is half as good as the pay-off from the book, then I’m more than fine with that.
I strap Braden into his high chair and give him some Cheerios to keep him occupied while Bryan and I get the stuff ready for dinner.
“Hey, are you and Dylan still getting that league together?” Cheerios fly in the air and Bryan squats to get them.
“Yeah. Why? You think you want to join?” I mentioned it to him last week, but never really thought he’d be interested.
“I mean, I’m more of a soccer player than slow-pitch softball, but yeah, if there’s a spot, I’ll take it.” He shrugs his shoulders and leans back against the kitchen counter. The air around him suggests he wants to seem disinterested, but from what Melanie tells Maddy, and then in turn, what Maddy tells me, Bryan misses being part of a team; there’s only so much high-fiving and nice-job ass slapping that you can get away with in a computer lab.
“Cool, man. I’ll let Dylan know and I’ll get you a jersey on Monday.” We exchange a quick nod and lightly tap fists before we finish getting dinner ready.
“Dare we disturb their book boyfriend news story?” I ask as I start opening the containers of Chinese take-out.
“Nah, they’ll smell the food eventually. I doubt they even realized we walked in.” He laughs as he peers back out into the living room where the girls are still glued to the image of some guy in a suit on the screen. “What’s he got that I don’t, huh, Melanie?” Bryan’s words pull her attention away from the screen—marginally.
“Him?” She barely even looks up at Bryan. “It’s simple really. He’s got a red room of pain! Is there one in the apartment I haven’t seen yet?” Melanie snaps playfully and pulls a face at Bryan to which his only response is an eye roll.
She gets up from the couch and walks over to him. “Oh quit it, would you!” Melanie quips from his side as he leans down to kiss her cheek. “He’s only fictional. He’s got nothing on you.”
Looking like he could use a change of conversation, Bryan clears off the table and asks, “So how did your cake baking go?” Taking stock of the kitchen as I pull out the last of the take-out containers, it actually doesn’t look half bad. Maybe Maddy’s finally getting the hang of it. This was her fourth attempt, after all.
“Thanks to Betty Crocker over there,” she tips her chin at Melanie, “it went fabulously!”
Maddy pulls some dishes out of the cabinet and hands them to Melanie. Plates are loaded and passed; laughs are shared and Cheerios are thrown. It’s a fairly standard meal where the four of us are concerned—well, five actually. Ever since Melanie and Bryan moved in together earlier in the summer, we’ve become a pretty tight-knit group. They only live about thirty minutes away, so getting together once or twice a week isn’t all that difficult.
There’s never really a lull in the conversation. Bryan and I usually talk sports—soccer for him, baseball for me. The girls are usually engrossed in talking about whatever book they’ve just finished, or whatever it is that girls talk about. It’s nice having Melanie and Bryan here. It makes Maddy and I feel less alone. All of the people at our jobs or at school with Maddy, who we could make friends with, and who are the same ages as us are in a completely different stage than we are.
There aren’t many married couples in their early twenties and even though Melanie and Bryan aren’t married, they’re the closest thing we’ll find. Most of the people our age are only interested in partying or getting laid.
Not that I have anything against getting laid.
By the end of the meal, Braden looks like he’s about to fall asleep in his chair, so I unbuckle him before he passes out in his food. “I’m going to go put him down while you guys clean up, okay?” Melanie kisses him goodnight and goes to help Maddy with the rest of the dishes.
Maddy peers over her shoulder from the sink. “Thanks, baby.”
After a quick bath, one where I got more water on me than Braden, and a fresh set of pajamas, I rock him to sleep. I’m effortlessly gliding back and forth in the rocker with my son nestled in my arms. These are the moments when I know, that no matter what’s gone wrong in my life, no matter what mistakes and trials my future brings, I will at least have done one thing right.
Resting my cheek to the small tuft of light brown hair on top of his head, I tell Braden, “You’re the best part of my life, little man.”
“And this is the best part of mine.” Maddy speaks softl
y from the just-cracked-open door.
Braden squirms in my arms, but quickly calms down and nuzzles back into me. Maddy sits crossed-legged on the ottoman of the glider and stares dreamily at me.
“I think you’re his favorite,” she whispers quietly afraid to wake him.
“Nah, he’s a momma’s boy through and through.” I kiss his head again. “But his mom is pretty freaking amazing, so that’s alright by me.” I wink at her and her face beams with pride.
“Mel and Bryan leave already?” I keep my voice low, but with his cheek pressed up against my chest, he still moves slightly at the vibrations of my words.
“Yeah, they had to go put together Braden’s gift for the party tomorrow.” She shrugs her shoulders, but then adds, “I swear to God, if they got him a drum set, they are so going to get it as a hand-me-down when they have kids.”
After a few more minutes of rocking, he’s finally out cold, so I put him down in his crib. Maddy moves to my side, and says, “G’night, sweet boy. Sleep tight,” as she pulls a light blanket over him. We tiptoe out of the room, and when we’re in the hallway, I pull Maddy close to me once again.
Running my nose up the length of hers, I mumble against her lips, “I think you owe me something, Mrs. Connely.”
“Oh yeah, and what would that be exactly?” she asks as she squeezes my ass, pulling our bodies together again.
“You know perfectly well what you owe me, baby.” I rain kisses on her lips, across her cheek and tenderly lick that sweet spot on her neck before adding, “And I’d like to cash in on that now.”
Before she even has a chance to answer me, my lips crash into hers. Nipping and softly biting at her plump lower lip causes her to groan. The opening her groan provides is all the space I need to slide my tongue into her hot mouth. Through the heated passion, I groan into her mouth, “God, Maddy. You’re so fucking sweet.”
We stumble into our room—arms groping, tongues licking, hearts racing. None too gently, I lower her onto the bed and revel in the feel of my body pushing hers into the mattress. Her legs wrap around my hips and pull us closer together.
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