by Macy Farmer
“I think someone should wait with her, at least until you return.” Bill said solemnly while staring down at me.
Great… just great!! “No, Bill, you’re going with Dave.” I turned to Dave, rolled my eyes with disgust. “If you find him at her house, tell him I said not to bother coming home. And don’t bring him back here. I mean it. But, if you find him anywhere else, tell him I love him and I’m waiting.” I smiled at Dave then turned back to Bill. “Remember, no Bradley and no Dave means no Bill.”
I can’t believe Bradley, he hasn’t even called. He’s fine, I told myself, he’s not with her. I just needed to think positive. My intuition was trying to tell me that he was with her but I was hoping that it was wrong.
“Be safe. Hey, Dave, if you do get back before me, I’m just going into town for some flowers to plant.”
I ran into the house and wrote a note telling Bradley that I’d be back soon then wrote down the time. Laughing I sealed my signature with a kiss.
The nursery was about twenty minutes away. The ride was beautiful if you’re the passenger, so naturally Seager enjoyed the view. Rural ground surrounds the road making for a relaxing ride even with all the stress. I thought about the flowers I wanted to buy. I like any kind as long as they’re red, orange and yellow. I really don’t know the difference between perennials or annuals, shade or direct sun or the names of the flowers. I looked around until I saw what I liked, bought it then planted it wherever the instructions told me to. That simple.
I wanted to see color everywhere so I purchased a variety of colors. I was going to plant them out front and on the sides of the house, along the porch. I also picked up several bags of potting soil and some wood chips. Today was supposed to be in the seventies, perfect weather to be outside doing yard work. I almost forgot to get myself gardening tools. Luckily some guy made a few witty comments about how full my cart had been.
“The only things you’re missing are the tools.”
I felt my face blush as I laughed and got out of line. He was kind enough to assist, even helping me load everything in my truck. The entire time Seager kept a close eye on me through the open window. It wasn’t until he offered me his number that I realized he wasn’t just being a gentleman. I expressed that I’m happily married and thanked him for helping me out. Sometimes I’m oblivious to that sort of thing. I thanked him again, got in my truck and left.
“Good boy, Seager.”
“For a second there I thought you were going to bring him home to help unload the truck,” he replied sarcastically.
“Ha, Ha! Wise guy.”
When I pulled into the driveway, Bradley still hadn’t returned home. I got another bad vibe but dismissed it. I know where he’s at, I could feel it. There’s nothing I can do about it right now. I’d rather enjoy my time gardening. Later there would be plenty of time to be upset and worried.
Putting on my gloves I got busy right away. I loved playing in the dirt.
“Boy, Seager, I really got carried away.” I had more than enough flowers. I spent hours playing in the dirt and planting flowers, only stopping to eat lunch.
About three o’clock I heard someone coming up the drive. I didn’t get up to greet our guests. Kneeling down low gave me the advantage, I could see them but they couldn’t see me. When I saw it had been Dave without Bradley my heart sank. He had a frown on his face and I heard him tell Bill not to mention that they saw Bradley.
Anger and jealously consumed me. I stabbed at a root trying to break it. Not paying attention, I whacked myself in the head with a spade. Blood started to run down my face. That wasn’t even the bad part.
The bad part happened when Bill came out of nowhere and started to attack me. Instantly I protected myself and just in the nick of time. I covered my face with my arm and he bit me. I screamed and started kicking. Luckily Dave was there, he threw Bill off of me. He stood over me in a protective stance, ready to kill to protect me. The two of them snarled and growled at each other while I summoned some poultice and quickly healed all my wounds. Immediately, I got up and jumped into my truck, followed by Seager. The second he sat beside me, I took off. I didn’t know where I was going, nor did I care. That’s when I realized I didn’t have my gems on, I forgot. I thought about turning around to get them but I was too upset, too fed up.
I’d been driving just over an hour when I finally stopped at a gas station just off of Route 80. I had been so blinded by hurt and anger that I hadn’t realized how far I’d gotten or how I even got here.
My cellphone rang. Before answering it I checked the number, it was Colleen.
“Hey, Colleen, what’s up?”
“Where are you, Nat? Are you alright?”
“I’d rather not say, and yes, I’m fine.”
Worriedly Colleen said, “Dave said Bill bit you.”
“No he didn’t. He tried though.” I didn’t care about what Bill had done. This is about what Bradley had done and the fact that he hadn’t been there when Bill attacked me. “Did you hear about Brad?”
“I know, Nat. He was foolish to go over there. I don’t know what he was thinking. Dave said that there’s nothing for us to worry about though.” Great, I knew Bradley went there even though Dave didn’t confirm it.
“So he’s still there…”
“No, Jess said he left hours ago. Brad will be there any minute so you can go home now.”
“I’m not going back, Colleen. He spent the morning with Margaret. It doesn’t matter why, it just matters that he did. He shouldn’t have gone over there in the first place and should have never attempted to hide it from me.” That’s when I got a vision of them kissing. Upset by the horrible image I could barely finish our conversation.
“Colleen, I’ll call you in a few days. Please tell Bradley to get his stuff out of my house.” Not wanting her to be caught in the middle I recanted with, “Forget I said that.”
“Thank the good lord!” She interrupted. “He loves you. Once you two are together everything will be okay.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m not going home. I just put a goodbye note on the kitchen table. I’ll use my magic to get my clothes and other belongings later. I already have the important stuff.”
“You’re being a little irrational aren’t you, Nat?”
“No. He kissed her. I saw it. His arms were wrapped around her. It doesn’t matter. I have to go. I’ll check in just so you know I’m okay. Bye, Colleen, love you.” Then I hung up.
Less than twenty minutes later Bradley started calling me. I didn’t answer. I drove for what felt like hours before pulling into a Best Western to spend the night. Thankfully, dogs were allowed.
The only things I requested from the house were my Book of Shadows, the gems and a few pictures. I put the pictures on the nightstand. The gems were securely around my neck and the Book in the room with me. I created a shield to protect us. I cried all night, holding on to my picture of Bradley and me. It’s my favorite, the one taken at Jess and Colleen’s wedding, where Bradley playfully bit my neck. Thinking of everything I’ve lost, I eventually cried myself to sleep.
In the morning I got in the shower and put on some clean clothes. It’s times like these that my magic was beneficial. Cleaning my clothes was a piece of cake.
Putting my Book and other personal items in a satchel, we headed out to get some food. Depending where we’re at, we may even stay another night. I don’t want to keep running. It’s probably best to stop and try to think things through.
Maybe I’ll call him later. That thought reminded me that I shut the ringer off on my phone last night. Wow. There were twenty-three missed calls. They were from Bradley, Colleen and Jess. There were several text messages, mostly from Bradley. They read pretty much the same, call me, call me/love you, love you and finally… I’m sorry. That one made my chest ache. This time it wasn’t a bad vibe. I was aching for him, to be near him. It had been too many hours. The aching dulled and was replaced with pain when I remembered them kis
sing.
I replied to Colleen and Jesse’s text messages and told them I wasn’t listening to the voicemails. It only took about a minute for them to reply and for Bradley to start calling. He’s very persistent, calling and calling. Ring, ring, ring…
We had some breakfast and were enjoying the weather in an open field by the hotel. The grass was high and Seager loved it, running all around with his nose in overdrive from all the new, yet familiar odors.
It’s when we got back in the room that I couldn’t take it anymore. He just kept calling. Angrily I answered the phone, yelling, “What!”
“Natalia, where are you?” He sounded relieved and apologetic. Too late.
“None of your business. What do you want?” It was definitely going to be difficult; I could hear his pain and wanted to comfort him.
“I want you to come home. I’m sorry. It’s not what you think.”
“Two questions, Bradley. Did you go to her place and did you kiss her?” I heard him sigh regrettably. “Well?” I asked when he didn’t respond. My chest began to ache and I realized this was going to be bad.
“Please don’t hang up on me. Yes and yes.”
I felt the pain spread violently from my heart to my toes and fingers. My eyes spilled over with tears. Using a tone so low that I could barely hear myself I whispered, “You shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. First, you try to mislead me. Then you betray me.”
“I didn’t betray you, Natalia.”
“You kissed her, had your arms wrapped around her…you were kissing her. I saw it. How could you do this to us? You ruined it all. Goodbye, Brad.” I hung up and spent the remainder of the day crying and ignoring the endless calls.
My eyes were so puffy it looked like someone used me as their personal punching bag. I felt like it too. So for dinner we had pizza delivered. Tomorrow I would have to find a new place to stay before Brad found us. I also needed to pick up some food for Seager. But tonight, I knew I was going to spend it crying.
***
It was windy, like there was a storm on the horizon. Seager had me taking him out every hour throughout the night. He complained that he wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t doubt it with all the junk food I fed him. It hadn’t been until after one in the morning when I climbed into bed. Feeling tired and alone I patted the empty space beside me gesturing for Seager to follow. I snuggled with him the moment he joined me.
“I hope you feel better. Good night.” I rubbed his ears like I do every time he snuggles with me, even when I’m sleeping. If he’s near me I have to pet him.
For some strange reason tonight I felt safer than last night. My dreams peaceful, so peaceful it felt like I was home. The thought of home and the realization that I wasn’t alone woke me up. I lay there frozen with Bradley’s arms were wrapped around me. How did he find me?
I tried to wiggle out but he held me tighter. He knew I was awake. I could tell by his breathing and touch. Well I don’t want to touch, talk or see him. If I’m going to be stuck here I might as well get some sleep. Tomorrow I’ll hit him on the head and disappear. That’s when I remembered the new trick I learned. Tomorrow, the first chance I get, I’m grabbing Seager and disappearing.
A low raspy growl rose from behind me, “Natalia, don’t I deserve a chance to explain?” The image filled my head again. As the pain filled my chest he felt it too. “I am so sorry, Natalia. I don’t know what happened but the moment I did I left.”
“After all those hours you finally left. Not that it’ll make a difference, but why did you go over in the first place.”
“Since Jess ate all the food in our fridge I decided to go to the grocery store. While there I got what I thought was a frantic call from Margaret. She claimed that Bill had just left, that he attacked her.” He paused. I didn’t have to see him to know he knew he messed up. “I’m sorry I went over.”
“I know you went over to be her knight in shining armor. Please continue.” With my shield up, doing my best to hide my emotions and my tone cold as ice, he may just leave.
“I was just trying to do the right thing. She smashed up herself and her place to make it appear as though there was a fight. I was telling her everything was going to be okay when she wrapped my arms around her and kissed me. I didn’t kiss her. I shoved her off of me. I love you, Natalia.”
I didn’t respond. Tears just ran down my face.
“Then Dave showed up and Bill was with him. I felt like such a fool. I took off to our house on top of our mountain. I was too ashamed to come home. By the time I finally got the courage to go home you were gone, leaving me a note saying you left. I’ve been tracking your scent ever since.”
“Was it worth it?”
“Was what worth what?” He asked cautiously.
“Was her kiss worth losing me?”
“Don’t say that, Natalia. I am truly sorry.”
Crying uncontrollably now, I turned, pushing him as far away as I could, at arms’ length.
“So while you were protecting her from, who did you say, Bill?” He nodded his head yes. “That’s what I thought you said. While you were out protecting her from Bill, he was at our house attacking me, your wife. Luckily Dave was there and that I protected myself from his venom. He bit me Bradley. Not that it was his fault because I cut myself and started bleeding. He smelled my blood and lost it. It shouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have if you were where you were supposed to be.”
Horrorstruck he tried to pull me in closer, “No!” I sobbed. “I mean it, no.” Pushing him as hard as I could, “Don’t touch me.” As requested he dropped his arms.
“Now leave please.”
“No, I can’t. Are you alright?”
“You wouldn’t have to ask if you were home instead of with her.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He touched my chin. I pulled it away. “Please, Natalia, are you alright?”
“I’m f-f-fine. Now leave.” I pointed my arm towards the door. He grabbed hold of me and pulled me close to him.
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve it but just give me a few hours here with you. If after that you still want me to leave, I will.”
Too exhausted to continue fighting I rolled over to try and sleep.
“Don’t touch me. In the morning we go our separate ways. I won’t be able to trust you ever again.”
For the remainder of the night I had trouble sleeping, was in and out of dreamland. The image of them two kissing kept playing in my mind, each time another piece revealed until finally I saw what I needed to see. He was telling her everything would be fine, that he was going to leave and talk to Dave. He said he’d see her later. Her manipulative skills made her appear sincerely thankful. Grabbing his arms she wrapped them around her waist. He looked terrified. She reached up and kissed him. His lips were locked tight as she tried to tongue him. He pushed her away from him once he got his arms free. ‘I’m married to Natalia. I love her,’ he said. He turned to walk out the door but when he opened it Dave and the disapproving Bill were standing there. He knew that very second that she had tricked him again.
My blood started to boil. Again she took advantage of his kindness. Furious I sat up, huffing and puffing. That bitch!
“I’ll go, please don’t get so angry. I don’t want to upset you. I’ll leave.” He got up from the bed and started walking to the door. “Please just call me and let me know that you’re okay.”
I attempted to get out of bed but my foot got caught in the blanket and I tripped. He caught me before I hurt myself. I didn’t slap him away this time.
Instead I got right in his face, scolding him, “Bradley Jenkins, if you ever lie or mislead me again, I promise you I will leave you. If you EVER go near her again, especially without me by your side, you will NEVER see me again. You’ll never get a chance to make it right. I’ll just disappear. You won’t have a scent to follow.”
“I promise none of it will ever happen again.”
“Don’t make anym
ore promises.” Still looking him in the eye, “I’m not sure if I can trust you, especially when it comes to her. The vision I had showed me what happened when she kissed you. However, the reason I can’t trust you is that you went there in the first place and didn’t hesitate to run to her deceitful rescue. You should have hesitated and called me especially after what she did to you!” I turned and sat down on the chair, shaking my head disappointedly.
Kneeling on the floor in front of me he took my hand in his.
“Natalia, I really am truly sorry. What can I do to make this right?”
Unable to look into his eyes I replied regrettably, “Nothing. Only time will mend the trust. Since Margaret seems to be staying in town, I’m sure this will happen again.” Resentment spewed out of me, making me feel ugly. Disgusted with myself I decided to get another hour or two of sleep before leaving. I got up and walked around him to go to lie down.
“You can go. I’ll meet you at home. I’m going to get a few more hours of sleep. I’m beat.” I crawled under the blankets and wrapped myself into a cocoon.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay. I’ll follow you home in the morning?” He just stood at the side of the bed looking down at me, as if he’s waiting to see if I’d invite him to join me.
“Whatever. Good night.” I rolled over and focused on trying to sleep. Knowing he was so close but unable to touch him drove me insane. I couldn’t fall asleep. Sighing with frustration I rolled back over.
I didn’t hear him leave or come back in but I know he didn’t have a guitar with him earlier, so I was completely shocked when I heard him playing it. He played the new song. A beautiful love song. I drifted off and only had good dreams about us. Mostly the dream had been about us making love.
Bradley woke me up about nine. I wanted to get up at seven.
“Did you sleep well?” He looked pleased.
I must’ve talked in my sleep. Since I still hadn’t forgotten my dream, I’m pretty sure I knew what I said and that he liked what he heard. I didn’t answer his question. Instead I went and cleaned myself up.