Winter

by Michelle Love

  Tell, tell signs of an impending orgasm start and my legs start to quiver. He looks at me and slows down. “I want this to last.”

  “So do I,” I say and I’m not talking about this session of love making. I’m talking about the whole thing. Life with him. I want it to last forever.

  He grinds his hips to mine and slows his pace. A sweet, soft kiss he places on my lips. Releasing my leg, he strokes his fingers down my side. Pulling his lips off mine, he looks at me again, his blue, brown eyes sparkling.

  “I love you, Rachelle.”

  “I love you too, Blake.”

  I take his face between my palms and raise my head to kiss him. His lips linger on mine for a moment then I lick his bottom lip and pull it between my teeth. My little bite stirs something in me and I run my fingernails over his corded back.

  He growls low in his wide chest. I’m flipped over before I know it and he smacks my ass before plowing into me. Only two strokes in and I’m falling apart.

  Groans and shrieks come out of me on their own accord. My body is shaking as I have one, long, continuous orgasm. “Blake! God! Blake!”

  He stiffens then I fill with his heated juices. His groan is music to my ears. He’s a little more than satisfied and for some reason that makes me ecstatic.

  He releases me and I fall to the bed in a breathless heap. He falls next to me and tries to catch his breath.

  All I can hear is our ragged breathing and I love it. I love everything about all of this. My mind flies around with all we could have and do and experience.

  I take in a deep breath and finally steady. “Whatever kind of bed this is, I want one. I don’t know how I can ever go back to my crappy bed.”

  “You won’t have to. Give that place up today. We can stay here until we find a place.”

  “No,” I say and turn over to lay my head on his chest. “Let’s go to another crazy great hotel, a new one each week, until we find a mansion of our very own.”

  “Whatever you want, baby. We are going to live it up. I’ve barely spent a dime of my money in this last year. What do you say to a weekend in Vegas?” His hand runs over my shoulder and I shiver with his touch.

  “I say yes. But I do think we need to set a spending limit, don’t you? I mean neither of us has ever had money so we could totally fuck up and waste away all your hard won money. Your parents would never want that.”

  “We can do that if it makes you feel better. Let’s get a touch more sleep then we’ll get ready and start the day.” He rubs my arm and I settle into his wide chest and close my eyes.

  We are really doing this!

  Blake

  If we are really doing this, I want it to be right. I want Rachelle to be a complete part of team Blake.

  She agreed to go to Vegas together this weekend. I left her at her apartment packing up things, deciding what she’ll keep and what will get taken to a charity.

  I found out she wears a size six ring and am going to surprise her with an engagement ring. I’m going to ask her to marry me tonight and when we get to Vegas we can pick out wedding rings and get married.

  I’m not going to risk something happening to me and leaving this world without making sure Rachelle has whatever I leave behind. My money will be her money too and that idea makes me the happiest guy in the world.

  Striking while the iron is hot is my tactic here. Rachelle has kept everyone at a distance her whole life and now that she’s letting me in, well, let’s just say I’m going to make sure I stay completely in.

  If I give her too much time she could flake and run away again. Her mind or her crazy mother’s influence can change things in a heartbeat. No, I’m taking no chances.

  I’m putting a ring on that pretty little finger and making her mine for good.

  Damn, I hope she says yes!

  Rachelle

  “Yeah, Mom, we’re heading out to Vegas later tonight. We’re spending the weekend there then we’ll come back to L.A. and find a nice place to stay. It’s really happening, we’re moving forward and I feel ready for that.”

  The way my mother is hesitating has me a little worried. “This is all happening so fast, Shelly. Are you sure about this?”

  “It’s not really happening so fast, Mom. For the last two months we haven’t even seen each other. We’ve texted and talked on the phone and learned so much about one another. And after this week together I know he’s got to be the one for me.” I pack away my dishes to give away. I won’t be needing them anymore.

  “So, what is the plan then? Are you and he getting married?”

  Married? Who said anything about that?

  “Whoa! Mom, I never said we were getting married. This is a trial run. I mean I only want to get married one time, and that’s it. We can live together for a few years and if that all works out then we can get married if that’s what we decide we need to do. It’s just a piece of paper really. I don’t need it.”

  “Well, that’s smart of you. No reason to get too deep into this thing with him. You barely know the man.”

  My mother’s words are starting to annoy the shit out of me. “Mom, I do know the man. I know him better than I’ve ever known anybody. It’s not the fact that I don’t know him that has me saying we don’t need to get married, it’s the idea that I want to marry only one time.”

  “I see, sweetie. Well, as long as you are living your life on your own terms. That’s what really matters. You have to do you and let him do him. No reason to live your life for anyone else.”

  Her advice seems wrong to me and I decide I need to end the call before she gets in my head and makes me second guess my decisions. “Okay, Mom. Love you, but I gotta go now.”

  “Okay, bye Shelly. I love you.”

  I end the call and toss my phone on the sofa. I look around and there’s so much to do I think maybe Blake and I don’t need to take the trip to Vegas. We should stay here and get this squared away this weekend.

  I’ve practically vacationed this whole last week anyway. There will be plenty of time to go to Vegas and gamble. For now, getting out of this little apartment is my top priority. That and beginning our search for a place of our very own.

  My phone rings and I see it’s Peyton. “Hey, girl,” I answer.

  “What’s this I hear about a trip to Vegas?”

  “I wasn’t aware Blake was telling anyone. Did he invite you guys along?”

  “He did, but we can’t go. Kip’s parents are out of town and it’s too short notice to get Pax to my parents. I hope you guys have fun out there.”

  “Yeah, about that. I think I’m going to tell Blake it’s a bad time to go. Did he tell you he and I are moving in together?”

  “No! What?” she shouts into the phone, making me pull it away from my ear. “That’s great, Shelly!”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty jazzed about it. But I have to get rid of some of my things and pack others up and get them into a storage building until we find our own place.”

  “There’s a mansion for sale in our neighborhood. How cool would that be? It’s only about a mile up the street. Want me to get the number off the sign?”

  “How cool would that be?” I ask as I jump up and down like a little kid. “Yes, get the number for Blake.”

  “I’m going to put Pax in his stroller and walk down there now. I’m so excited! Talk to you soon.”

  I jump and up down and do a little dance. Life is coming together and I can hardly wait.

  Blake and I are moving in together!

  Part 9 No Luck

  Blake

  My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest I can barely hear Rachelle’s answer. I’m on one knee, holding out the black box with the monster engagement ring in it and haven’t taken a breath since the words, ‘will you marry me,’ came out of my mouth. It seems like an eternity ago and she’s still just looking at me.

  Her lips are moving and I think she’s about to say yes.

  Wait! That’s way more than one word!


  “Hold up, Rachelle.” I get up and shake my head and take in a deep breath. “Say that again. I couldn’t hear you.”

  “Blake, it’s too soon. It’s a nice gesture, but I want to get married only one time.”

  A nice gesture? WTF!

  “Rachelle, are you telling me no?” I search her eyes for some sign of hope, but only find confusion.

  “I’m not saying no, Blake. I’m trying to tell you that I want to only get married one time. I thought we were moving in together. You know, step one on a list of steps. One day at a time.”

  I snap the lid shut on the box with the uber-expensive ring in it and drop my ass on the sofa. “So, what are you saying? Are you saying you’ll think about it or what?”

  “Not really.” She takes the place next to me and runs her hand over my shoulder. “Don’t you think this is sudden?”

  “Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? Like a surprise? I mean, aren’t you surprised and maybe a little happy about me asking you to marry me? To become my wife and share all I have should be a thing that makes you happy.”

  Her brows furrow and I have no idea why anyone would wear that expression when not only asked to marry the supposed love of their life, but also become a billionaire by doing so.

  “Blake, what’s the rush? I was just talking to Peyton and there’s a mansion down the street from them. We could move in together for a while. You know a trial marriage before doing all the legal stuff. Once that’s done, it’ll make it harder for us if we don’t work out.” Her delicate finger strokes my chin and it’s pissing me off.

  I pull her hand away from my face and frown at her. “I don’t want it to be easy to end what we have. Does that make sense to you? I want us tied up financially and mentally and even physically if you want the truth. Rachelle, I want to know you’ll be the one who gets the money I won if anything happens to me. Otherwise the state will get it or something like that as I have no living relatives that I know of anyway.”

  Her head is shaking and I cannot understand why she’d have a negative response to what I just said. “Blake, I don’t want your money.”

  “Do you hear yourself? You don’t want money? Are you insane? You’d rather someone else get what’s mine if I die?”

  “Don’t even talk about dying! You’re not old, for God’s sake! When did you get this idea that you were about to die?” She gets up and walks to the kitchen. “I’m getting a beer. You want one?”

  “No,” I say as I get up and follow her. “I want you to marry me. I really can’t think about anything else until you give me a straight answer. It’s either a yes or a no, Rachelle. I don’t understand this trial marriage thing and don’t want to. I want a real marriage with you and I’d like us to get a puppy.”

  Her hands go up in the air for some strange reason.

  “A dog! No, no, no! Blake, are you crazy?”

  “Why would you ask that? It’s a thing that people get sometimes. It adds joy to their lives. Are you against joyous living for some odd reason? Cause it seems like you are.” I reach out and take her into my arms. “Marry me, Rachelle.”

  “Blake, this is just too soon.” Her head drops and all I can see is the top of her head as she leans her face against my chest.

  “Would you let me put the engagement ring on your finger?” I ask then kiss the top of her head.

  “That thing looks like it cost you a small fortune. I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing it.”

  “Please.” I give her a squeeze.

  “I can’t. It’s too much, Blake. It’s over the top, you know?”

  She pulls out of my arms and opens the fridge and pulls out a beer. I take it from her and twist the cap off the tall bottle then hand it back to her. “I thought you’d like it, but if you don’t, we can take it back and get anything you want. If you want simple, then you can have simple. With all the money I have, I thought it would be a shame to put something cheap on your finger.”

  She takes a long drink and I can tell she’s nervous.

  “At this point, I don’t want any ring. I just want you and I to take this thing slow, like you said we could.”

  “Moving in together is just like being married only you have no real stability. My things will remain my things and that’s not okay with me. I want you taken care of…”

  She interrupts me. “Yeah, I know, in case you die.” She takes another long drink and walks to the sofa where she plops down. “I can take care of myself, financially. I don’t need your money, Blake.”

  I follow her and sit across from her so she can look at me while I try to talk some sense into her. “I know you don’t need it. Look at it like this, I need to know if I leave this world, you will have my money. The only way I can be sure that’ll happen is if we’re married.”

  “What about love?” she asks as she winks at me. “I’d like love to be the reason I marry someone.”

  “Rachelle! You fucking know I love the shit out of you!”

  “So eloquently stated, Blake. I fucking love the shit out of you too.” She grins, and it’s making me furious. “And when did you start thinking about getting a dog?”

  “Okay, leave Freckles out of this for now.”

  “Who?” She laughs and takes another drink of her beer. “You named the dog already?”

  “I might have. I’m dabbling with the names still. It’s a work in progress. Anyway, I’m starting to feel like I’m having to beg you to marry me and frankly that’s not a thing I thought I’d ever be doing. I did not see myself having to argue about getting the woman I love and she says she loves me to share my life and my wealth.”

  Rachelle rolls her eyes. “She loves you, Blake. It’s a sweet gesture, it really is. It’s just too soon.” She places the empty bottle on the coffee table and sits back.

  “How long then?” I lean forward and look into her eyes as I wait for her answer.

  “I was thinking that if everything went well, and we got along great and all that we could maybe get married for real in three years or so, maybe five. But a piece of paper isn’t a big concern to me.”

  I sit back and my eyes must be as wide as they’ve ever been. “Rachelle, are you shitting me? I’m worth a lot of money. The piece of paper will make sure you get it.”

  She stands up and says, “If anything ever happens to you. Yes, I’m aware of that.”

  “And what about kids?” I ask as she walks to get herself another beer it looks like as she opens the fridge and pulls out another. “When did you think about adding them into our life?”

  “I haven’t given it much thought.” She opens the beer and looks at me. “Sure you don’t want one?”

  I shake my head. “So, give the kid thing some thought. How old do you want to be before you start having kids? I’d like to have them while I’m young enough to enjoy them. Hanging out with that kid at the children’s home got me thinking how much having kids can add to your life.”

  Instead of drinking the beer, she sets it on the bar and taps her temple with her finger. “I don’t think I’ll be having time to raise kids for quite a few years.” She looks at me with a frown. “I’d like to open my own restaurant. Remember that conversation?”

  “People do have kids and still manage to work, Rachelle. You love Pax, you know you’d love to have a baby.”

  Her eyes go dark and I can see something is going through her mind and that’s probably a really bad thing. “I don’t think I’d make a very good mother. I really didn’t have a great example in that department. If it is kids you want, you might want to think about finding yourself another woman.”

  “Rachelle,” I get up and walk towards her, but she turns her back to me and crosses her arms over her chest. “Don’t. Don’t do this.”

  “Blake, this is all too fast. The whole thing. I have to think and I can’t do it around you.” She walks away and grabs her purse off the counter and goes to the door.

  “Rachelle, don’t go. We have a lot to talk about.” I follow her
to the door and can feel the cold radiating off her.

  “Not now,” she says as she opens the door. “I can’t talk to you right now. I need to think.”

  I take her by the shoulders and stop her from leaving. “Don’t go. I’ll shut up. I promise. Just stay here.”

  Her head shakes, and she shrugs her shoulders. “I just need some time. I’m not the woman you seem to want. I’m not your normal, everyday mother and housewife. I don’t even know how to be that. You deserve a woman who wants the same things you do. I’m not saying I don’t want them. I am saying I don’t know how to be that woman.”

  “Rachelle, leaving right now won’t solve a damn thing. Just stay here. If anything, I’ll leave.”

  She pulls out of my grip and turns to look at me. “Blake, you stay. I just want a little time to think.”

  My heart hurts and this is anything but what I thought would happen. “Rachelle, this isn’t a normal reaction to a proposal. You do realize that, don’t you?”

  “Nothing about me is normal, Blake. You do realize that, don’t you?” Her head hangs, making her long, dark hair fall over her face, shielding it from anyone’s view.

  I want to grab her and take her in my arms and make her stay. I want to pull all that has her unable to accept love and normalcy out of that pretty little head of hers.

  “I wish you’d stay. We don’t have to talk about a damn thing, Rachelle.”

  She stops and for a moment I think she might come back inside and stop this running thing she does so well. Then she shakes her head and keeps walking. “I’ll be back later.”

  Well, maybe I won’t be here!

  Rachelle

  The sun is setting as I walk down the beach. My melancholy mood hasn’t changed. I wish Blake could really take things slow, but I guess it really isn’t in him to do it.

  It really isn’t in me to hurry things along either. I suppose we’re meant to be together since we both come from such opposite places. Opposites attract so the saying goes.