Winter

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Winter Page 81

by Michelle Love


  Max

  A bird chirps at my window, waking me from the best sleep I’ve ever had. As I rub at my sleep filled eyes I roll over to wrap my arms around the woman I will spend the rest of my life with.

  Where the hell is she?

  Panic runs through me as I jump out of bed, praying Lexi’s in the bathroom. I throw open the door and hear nothing. She’s not in here and something is lying on the floor.

  Oh, God, no!

  That damn Ashley took a horrible selfie of me doing some bad stuff to her. Lexi must’ve seen this and freaked out.

  I can’t believe that crazy bitch, Ashley. I swear I could strangle her right now.

  I need to get dressed and go find Lexi before she does something stupid.

  She was aware I was dating Ashley for the love of God. Why does she have to be so damn flighty?

  Alexis

  Pink stains the sky as I pull into Logan’s driveway in Dallas. It’s a very nice brick home in a suburban neighborhood. I haven’t seen him since I was eighteen when Logan came with Josh, my brother who he was best friends with, to my graduation. He’s the only sort of a friend I have ever had. Not that he was my friend, but he was nice to me.

  It seemed smarter to go stay with someone I’m not related to since Max knows how to Google me and find out everything that there is to know about me. I called my mother and told her the deal and for her not to worry, but I couldn’t tell her where I was or Max might get it out of her.

  Logan had to leave for work already, so he left a key under the mat and told me to make myself at home and to take the second bedroom on the left. The house is a large, red brick with pretty shrubs in front.

  As I enter his house, I can smell coffee he must’ve made before he left. In the rush I didn’t ask him if anyone else lived here with him. The place is really nice, and he has some smancy things in here. I round the corner to the kitchen and find a note that he left for me, along with some donuts next to the pot of coffee.

  Alex,

  Make yourself at home. Don’t bother looking for a job just yet. I may have something for you. Relax and you can tell me all about what happened when I get home around six. Don’t cook, I’ll bring something home for us to eat. I’m glad you came to me. Don’t worry, everything will be fine.

  Logan

  Just like a big brother, always there when I need him. I drift through the large house, gazing at his things. Nowhere are there any pictures of a significant other. There’s one of a yellow lab, but no girls.

  Logan is thirty-five, and the last time I saw him, he was cute in a tall, skinny, nerdy way. It’s been eight years. I wonder how he looks now.

  Down the hall I make my way until I find the second door on the left and open it to find a nice-sized bed in the middle of a good sized room. A dark green blanket lies over the bed and a couple of big, fluffy pillows top it. I fall on the bed, and roll over it.

  It’s soft and comfy and begging me to sleep. I am exhausted after running from the mansion and throwing my things in the van and driving four hours. A familiar scent wafts up to me, and I realize I still have on the T-shirt Max lent me to sleep in.

  Max

  She’s gone. Her things are gone, and she’s vanished. Her cell’s been turned off and I have no idea of how to find her. My only hope is she’ll calm down and realize she made too much out of the damn picture. I tore that thing to pieces and flushed it. After that, I scoured my whole place to be sure the psycho, Ashley, didn’t hide anything else which might ruin my life further.

  My bedroom was too lonely so I am lying on another bed in another room, drinking Jack Daniels straight from the bottle and watching the weather channel for some strange reason.

  Where ever she is I hope the weather’s nice. The sun should always shine on her. With the story she told me about getting beat up by a bunch of mean girls when she was a teenager, it’s no wonder she doesn’t trust my feelings for her. It’s no wonder she saw that picture and thought that I was just using her and would drop her right after I had her.

  I wasn’t though. I was going to keep her with me forever. The whisky burns as it hits my empty stomach, but I don’t care. In a little while I won’t feel anything. I won’t feel the crack in my heart she’s left or the continuous urge to bawl like a freaking baby.

  The cruelty of not at the very least letting me know she’s okay is not a thing I thought her capable of. Sweet and sincere though she is, her insecurities have a way of making her do things she doesn’t understand are hurtful and mean.

  Just one phone call from her is all I need. I need to know she’s alright.Alexis

  Some tapping sound wakes me up and I open my eyes and wonder where I am.

  Oh, yeah, Logan’s.

  I stretch and realize the sound is coming from the bedroom door. It must be Logan. “Come in.”

  The door opens, and some man is standing there. “Hey, little Alex.”

  I blink and rub my eyes which burn because I fell asleep with my contacts on. The blurry man comes into focus and I see tiny resemblances to the Logan I used to know.

  He’s no longer thin and tall, he’s buff and tall. His usually unkempt, wavy hair is cut in a neat short style that enhances the sandy blonde color. “You filled out.”

  I had pulled my hair out of the ponytail before I fell asleep and he runs his hand through it. “So have you, Little Alex. You’ve turned into quite a woman.”

  I blush and glance away. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”

  “Yeah, no problem. Well, get up and meet me in the kitchen and we can eat and you can tell me what all’s going on with you.”

  As he walks away he turns back and smiles as he shakes his head and chuckles to himself. Then he leaves me alone and I pull the T-shirt up to my nose and take the last sniff of Max I’ll ever smell.

  It’s time to move on, I’m not in his league and that’s that. He’s a playboy and I’m a good girl who doesn’t do those things he wants. No matter how great they felt. He does it to all the girls. I was no one special to him. He’ll have me replaced by tonight, I have no doubts about that.

  Changed into a pair of shorts and one of my own T-shirts, I follow the sound of music playing softly. I find Logan sitting on a stool at his bar and sipping some kind of drink. “There she is,” he says and stands holding his arms open. “Come, let me hug the misery from you, poor child.”

  I fall into his arms and let him hug me as I hug him back. It’s been such a long time since I had a platonic hug and I’ve missed them. “You’re already making me feel better, Logan.”

  Finally he lets me go and motions for me to take the stool next to his. A takeout box sits in front of me and a tall glass with some dark liquid sits next to it. “I hope that’s Mr. Pibb.”

  He nods. “I picked it up just for you, Alex. I remembered.”

  “I bet you did. I bugged you enough to always bring me one when you came to visit Josh when I was a kid. I was quite the pain.”

  His eyes light up. “You were no pain, you were a sweetie pie.”

  A giggle comes out of me and I blush as I remember having a crush on him when I was really small. Before he got all gangly and turned into a pimple faced teenager. “I see your acne cleared up.”

  A jab in the ribs he gives me. “I see your whole body cleared up. What happened, did you find some magic pills to take while you were in Houston. Some hot mama pills?”

  “You’re hilarious,” I jab him back. “What about you? Is that your real body or a body by steroids?”

  “Hey!” he says as he pulls me under his arm and puts me in a fake choke hold. “This body has no drugs of any kind in it, thank you very much.”

  I giggle and wiggle out of his arms. “Okay,” I say as I pull my hands through my now messed up hair. “No ‘roids I get it, touchy subject.”

  As he opens the box of takeout in front of me he looks at me and asks, “Do you still like Chinese?”

  “I sure do, thank you very much.” I take the plastic fo
rk and stick a piece of sweet and sour chicken with it and pop it into my mouth.

  With a pat on my back he says, “Good, you still have an appetite. Whatever sent you flying out of Houston must not be that bad.”

  “To most it probably would be a dream come true, but I’m not most people.”

  His fork loaded with noodles he waves it as he says, “You are not most people, Alex. So let me have it and tell me whose ass I have to kick.”

  “There will be no booty kicking necessary. Max is who he is. I was aware of his past romances and I made the mistake of getting caught up with him while his latest one was too fresh.” I pause to place another chunk of chicken in my mouth and take a drink. “My V-card, as Cake put it, has been cashed in and it seems I gave it to the wrong man.”

  A choking sound comes from beside me and I turn to see Logan spewing his drink from his lips. “Did you just say you barely stopped being a virgin?”

  “A dirty skanky ho since last night,” I say as I shake my head. “I kept it all intact, waiting for Mr. Right, then went and threw it all away on a playboy who does the same thing with all the girls.”

  Logan’s eyes roll, and he slaps his knee. “Damn girl, you held onto that a lot longer than most. Don’t go calling yourself such names just yet, darlin’. I mean you have to do a little more than trust the wrong guy to go that far.”

  “Well, what if I told you I only really knew him for two days before I gave it all away to him?”

  “I’d say he must’ve been something special for you to do that, Alex.” Logan draped his arm around my shoulders. “As far as him doing the same things to everyone else, you may not be aware of this, but there’s only just so many ways you can do with that act. He was bound to have done the same things with other women.”

  “The pain I felt when I found that picture was something I’ve never felt before and never want to feel again,” I say as I lean my head on his shoulder. “It was like something got jerked out from under me and I was falling forever into something I didn’t know existed. It’s just too hard, I can’t do the love thing.”

  “So you loved this guy? You think you really loved him, Alex? I mean you just said you only knew him for two days.”

  “Two really full days. They seemed like a lifetime of them. It was weird between us, but now I think it was just because he’s an awesome player. He made me feel special to him, and he told me he loved me too.” Tears are forming and I have to stop them because I’ve already cried too much.

  Logan kisses the top of my head and hugs me. “I’ll help you get through this Little Alex. Come on, let’s eat, afterwards we can take a swim in my pool.”

  “How’d you get to be rich, Logan?” I ask as I cram more chicken in my mouth.

  “My nerdy mind worked for me and I develop software. I’m not rich though, just well off.” He takes a gulp of his drink.

  “Max is a billionaire,” I say before I take a drink.

  Logan chokes again and looks at me as if I’m insane.

  “You blew off a billionaire?”

  I nod and place an eggroll in my mouth. Logan laughs so hard he nearly falls off his stool. “I bet I’ve heard of him then, who is it?”

  “Max Lane.”

  “Oh, shit!” he says as he stands up. “That man is so cool and looks like a fucking model and you ran away from him! I bet he’s done a bunch of girls, but a dude like him can.”

  “So you see why I couldn’t be in a relationship with him?”

  “He wanted an actual relationship with you? He told you that?” Logan asks with his eyebrows pulled way up.

  “He did, he’s looking uber-hardcore for a wife and wants to have kids right away. I had to ask him to use a condom so I wouldn’t get pregnant and he said he didn’t care if I did, he wanted that.” I sip my Mr. Pibb as Logan stares at me with his mouth open.

  “Wow! I mean wow! Is this guy crazy?”

  I think about what he’s asking me and I really don’t know the answer. “He had a bad childhood and I guess that’s why he wants kids so bad. He’s a really good guy, and sweet, and funny, and sexy, and hot, and a great kisser…”

  Logan’s hand goes up. “Whoa, there, Alex. You’ll have to stop right there, because as much as I want to help you, I don’t want to hear any of the gory details about your physical stuff, okay, girl?”

  I nod and take another sip. “Wanna go swimming now?”

  “Yep, let’s change and I’ll give you a piggy back ride out to the pool just like old times,” he says as he takes my hand and pulls me with him.

  “A piggy back ride, I’m too big for that,” I say with a laugh.

  He looks at me and says, “No you’re not.”

  I smile as I follow him and think how much better I’ll feel soon, now I have him to help me get over Max.

  Max

  A month has passed and still she has not called. I suppose she’s alive and not missing as the news hasn’t said anything about a missing woman or finding a dead body.

  She doesn’t want me, it’s obvious. If she can walk away again after what we shared, her feelings for me are not as strong as mine are for her. I should move on, but I can’t seem to. No one interests me. I want no one else but her. I told her it would kill me if she left and she left anyway.

  My only companion now is the bottle of Jack Daniels I keep constantly by my side. If I let it wear off, the pain may cut me deeper than it already has. No one wants me, not my mother, not Lexi, not anyone. Sure those gold digging bitches will take me. Put up with me, allow me to spend my money on them, but no one wants me, the injured boy who turned into a man.

  I need some air, and where better a place to find that than in my helicopter. “Come on, Jack, let’s you and I take a ride.”

  My shades I grab and cover my eyes as I make my way outside. “Oops, it’s dark already. How did that happen? Oh well, come on, Jack, we can still go. Riding at night along the coastline will be fun. Just what the doctor ordered to get over a girl with insecurities and a habit of running away after mind-blowing kisses and life-altering love-making.”

  Loud noise fills the air as I turn on the chopper, and quite frankly it helps to drown out the constant thoughts I have of Lexi, and her long legs, and tight little ass, and perky, plump breasts, and pink luscious lips which have only ever been touched by mine.

  The lights of Galveston loom ahead and I’ll be over the water in no time. I look over at my only friend, Jack, and pick him up and take a long tug from his dark bottle. That’s much better, I was beginning to see her in my mind again and that makes me want to cry.

  “Whoa, I must have missed something there, the water is underneath me now and the moon shines over it, making a perfect path for me to follow. Hi Jack, glad to see you’re still with me. Oh, that’s right you have no legs otherwise you’d probably run too.”

  Two moons? How are there two of them? When did this happen?

  My friend, Jack, looks at me and I pick him up. “Damn it, Jack, you’re empty. I didn’t bring another one. I’ll have to turn back now.”

  With a quick motion, I turn my chopper around and…

  Shit! I’m too close to the water! Oh, I’m fucked.

  Alexis

  The aroma of basil fills the house as I simmer a sauce for the spaghetti I’m making for us tonight. Logan gave me the job of his housekeeper and cook. So I’ve been staying in and finding recipes while I keep this big house clean. He’s really saved the day for me, and I only think about Max on days that end in, ‘y’ so that’s better.

  Who am I kidding? It’s been a month and still he fills my thoughts all day every day.

  I’m such a sad case, I even sleep in his T-shirt almost every night. I’m a pathetic looser. The sound of the door opening brings me out of my funk and I find Logan with one hand full of flowers, a bottle of wine in the other and a huge grin on his face. “Guess who got a raise?”

  I jump up and down as I clap. “Me?”

  He rolls his hazel eyes at me.
“No, me!”

  “You bought flowers for yourself?” I ask as he hands them to me and I turn to grab a vase for them.

  His hand grabs my arm as he pulls me back around and into his arms. “They’re for you, Alex.”

  His lips are close to mine and I can barely breathe.

  I belong to Max.

  “What are you doing, Logan?”

  His tongue flows over his bottom lip. “I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you, Alex.”

  As I try in vain to wiggle out of his arms, I say, “Oh, Logan, you don’t really mean that.”

  His arms hold me tightly to him. “Today I walked into my boss’s office and told him if he wanted to keep me he had to give me a raise. And I told him I didn’t want some tiny raise I wanted a big one because I need to buy a certain woman a ring sometime in the very near future and she deserves a big one.”

  “Logan, I had no idea. You haven’t made any moves on me at all…”

  He interrupts me. “You, my sweet little innocent, do not know when someone is making a move on you. I have been, but you’re oblivious to them.”

  Maybe that’s because I belong to someone else!

  “Logan, I can’t. Um, how can I, oh, gee whiz, Logan.”

  “Alex, don’t get all flustered now. I know it’s only been a month, but we’ve known each other for a damn long time.”

  “But, Max, Logan. What about him and me and how I made promises to him?”

  My chin he pulls at to make me look at him. “If you were going back to him, I think you would’ve went already.”

  “Even if I never go back, which I’m not, I made promises about never letting another man touch me in places, and I plan on keeping them.”

 

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