With a weak smile, I get up and walk to the bathroom and notice he’s following me. I turn the water on as he leans against the sink, looking me up and down. I step into the shower and find him right on my heels. “What are you going to do in here?”
My back is pushed against the wet wall as he pulls me up in his arms and makes me wrap my legs around him, then his semi-hard manhood mashes into me with a squishing sound. “You like that, baby?” he asks and I nod. “Bet you never thought it could be this good, did you?”
I smile to stop myself from frowning like I’d like to, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. “Nope, I never thought it would be like this, that’s true.”
“You think you can cum for me, baby girl?” he asks, and again I’m finding the things he asks ending with, ‘baby girl’ very off.
“I did that already, while you kissed my, well, you know, that, oh gosh how can I put it…”
He interrupts me. “While I ate you out?”
My face goes red and I realize how ludicrous that is as he rams into my womanly parts while my back is against the wall and my legs are wrapped around him. Of course, he would say such a vulgar thing at this exact time. He doesn’t normally talk like that, but I suppose now is the time to talk that way so I give it a shot myself, “Yes, while you licked and sucked my uh, my, uh…”
“Pussy?” he asks.
“Yeah that thing.” No, I’m just no good at this.
“Say the word, Alex,” Logan says as he lifts me up away from him then places me on my feet and makes a motion with his finger for me to turn around, which for some odd reason I do and he puts his hand on my back making me bend over and I find him pushing into my woman area again. “So go ahead and say the word, Alex.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Hey, see if you can grab your ankles, you’re a pretty flexible girl.”
I walk my hands from my knees down my legs and find myself gripping my ankles as he bounces around behind me. “I don’t want to say that word, Logan,” I say, but find it a little hard to talk in this position.
“Most girls can’t grab their ankles. You’re a natural for this, babygirl,” he says and then makes another grunt, reminding me that yet again he has no condom on.
“Hey, don’t do anything inside me, please. You forgot the condom again.”
“You sure are hung up on that damn thing,” he says. “I’m going to marry you, you know. There’s no reason to be worried.”
Then why am I definitely very worried?
I stand up and Logan steps back. “Whoa, that’s moving a little fast, there buster,” I say, and he looks at me like I’m crazy.
“A little warning is polite, baby,” he says. “I know you don’t know that, but it is. Also, letting me finish is polite too.”
I turn around for some unknown reason and grab my ankles again and he resumes his bouncing away at my backside. I seriously don’t see what the fun of this position is. I can’t breathe very well and the blood is going to my head and if I look through my legs I can see his jingle bells bouncing everywhere and well it’s just a very unflattering position for us both, I think.
After a grunt and a groan he steps back and I see some more white goop flow between my feet and down the drain.
Bye-bye, what might have been a little baby. I’m not ready for you yet!
Still holding my ankles for reasons unknown, I then feel a slap on my bottom. “Hey, silly, you can stand up now.”
“Oh!” I stand up and rub my back which feels a bit out of sorts. “What kind of shampoo do you have in here?”
His hands rub together and suds form. He runs them through my hair. “I’ll wash it for you, come here.”
As his hands massage my scalp it makes me moan. “Mmm, that feels so good.”
With a chuckle, he says, “Now that’s the moan I was looking for a few minutes ago.”
No fireworks, no electric currents, no needing him to stay with me forever, why? Why does one man do so much for me and another doesn’t? Why can’t I feel that spark with Logan?
I turn in his arms and look him in the eyes. I will make the spark happen if it kills me. This man is perfect for me and by the ding dang holy man above us, I will get a fire going in my body for him. “Logan, do you really want to marry me?”
He smiles and nods as his hands gently push my head back to rinse the shampoo from my hair. “I love you, Alex. I would’ve told you that before I made love to you, but you rushed that a little. I want to marry you and have children with you. Maybe we can even get a dog.”
“The perfect family,” I whisper and think of Max and how that’s all he wanted too, and I ran from him.
As we snuggle on his bed and watch television, we eat the pizza he ordered and drank beer. One of his T-shirts I had put on as he lounges in his boxers. Not the tight kind the baggy ones.
Logan has a great body, and he’s adorable. The sweetest man on Earth and he wants me to be his wife.
Tell me why that isn’t enough for me!
I make up my mind. I am done with this crazy, ‘what if stuff’ I have going on in my head. This is a great guy and I ain’t getting any younger. So I just bust out and say, “Let’s get pregnant.”
Logan laughs and looks at me like I’m looney tunes. “Um, okay,” he says. “Is that what you want me to say? Because I thought you understood what it was I was talking about a while ago. I want to marry you and have babies with you.”
“No, I know. I’m just letting you know that I’m on board with that and stuff.”
His eyebrows raise and he says, “I thought you being in here, in my bed meant you were on board with that already, Alex.”
Maybe this is wrong, maybe we don’t communicate well. I haven’t even told him I love him.
Do I love him?
“Logan, I think I might love you,” I say and lay my head on his leg as he sits up on the bed.
“Sweetie, I’m sure you do,” he says with a shake of his head. “Those fucking bitches that did that shit to you really fucked up your head, baby girl.”
My heart clenches with the reminder. Am I really messed up? Is that why I have such a hard time with feeling more for Logan than I do? Is that why I ran from Max?
Logan’s arm runs around me and he gently kisses my cheek. “Don’t worry, Alex, I’ll never let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me, forever, babygirl.”
I turn my face up to his and push all that stuff to the very back of my mind. Max, the girls who beat the hell out of me and the way I’ve kept myself at a distance from everyone. “I love you, Logan.”
His hazel eyes shimmer as he says, “I love you too, and we will be happy. No worries.”
I lick my lips and take the beer bottle he holds out of his hand and place it on the nightstand. “Make love to me, please.”
With a flick of his finger, the television goes off and he scoots down into the bed with me. “I want to cum inside you,” he says and I give him the nod of approval.
“I want to have your babies, Logan,” I say as I feel warmth welling up in me. “I want to take care of you and be your wife.”
My panties he rips away, then rips the shirt off me, throwing them to the floor. I grab at his boxers, but I can’t rip them, so he pulls them off and positions himself over me. A long, hard kiss, making me dizzy, then he says, “Get ready to get pregnant, babygirl.”
How can I get him to stop saying that? It’s so inappropriate!
Max
Somehow I made it through the storm and it’s safe to say I feel ready to leave this world. After being tossed and turned from the bottom to the top of the Gulf of Mexico, I can say with no hesitation that I hate this planet and am ready to get off it.
If Lexi is the one for me, she’ll see me on the other side, or in another life sometime. I can’t hold on any longer. No planes or helicopters have come to look for me. This is the most alone I’ve ever been, and I’ve been alone a lot in my life.
I have to wonder, w
hy me? What did I do so wrong? Why did this have to happen to me?
Oh, yeah my good buddy, Jack, that’s why.
What a mother fucker that damn guy is!
In the next life he’s out, definitely out. But Lexi can be there if she wants. Not my mother. Oh, that was horrible, never her again. Maybe where ever Lexi is right now she’s thinking of me.
That would be nice if she was thinking about me when I move on out of this world. She’s probably somewhere doing something silly like cleaning cat boxes for a living, or catfish noodling. If I had the strength I’d laugh, but that’s all gone now.
Think of me, Lexi. Please never forget me. I loved you more than you will ever know.
Alexis
The lights are all off, only a candle makes a dim glow across the room from us. Logan climbs up my body like a jaguar. His eyes are intense and his muscles bulge as he grabs my neck and pulls my mouth to his. His kiss is hard and insistent. My mouth opens, inviting him in, and he moves in with such force that I find it captivating. Not electric, but not as dull as before.
Am I really going to do this?
Gently he touches my breast and the difference between the hard kiss and gentle touch is captivating. A push of his knee makes my legs part and his very hard male member is knocking at my woman parts, wanting in. I arch slightly and he moves into me and for some dag nabbed reason, Max’s name just ran through my head.
No! I’m not going to let that stop me!
My hands fly up to tangle in Logan’s hair, but it’s too short, so I do this smoothing motion and it just doesn’t do it for me. Logan moves in and out in smooth strides, than stops and goes really fast, knocking the air from my lungs for a moment.
This all started out really exciting, and it’s taken a derailment somewhere along the way. I guess I’ll get used to the way that he does this and will come to find it exciting. It’s not bad or anything, there’s just no fire. After a few more thrusts, his body hardens and I feel warmth fill me, then he collapses on me.
It’s over. I may get pregnant from this one encounter and it was so forgettable that I just might cry.
Why do I have to be so afraid of loving Max?
Logan rolls off me and lies on his back. “That was great, baby.”
I roll away from him and wipe the tear that’s gotten away. “Yeah, sure was.”
He takes the remote and turns on the television. I haven’t watched T.V. in a week. The news is on and I close my eyes because I hate to watch the news. It’s mostly about bad stuff and I hate hearing about it. “I’m going to sleep. Good night, Logan.”
“Nite, Alex, I love you.”
I blink a few times then decide to add, “I love you, too.”
I kinda love him. It’s not a complete lie.
He is a great guy. You can’t discount how good he is to me. So there’s no spark, so what?
The sound of the anchorman’s deep voice is soothing me to sleep. “In other news tonight, the search for billionaire, Max Lane, has ended. Three days ago his helicopter crashed in the Gulf of Mexico.”
I sit up and stare at the television. The anchorman continues, “Search efforts have been called off and Max Lane is presumed dead.”
I turn to Logan. “Did I hear that right?”
His eyes are huge and he nods. I turn back to the television to see a picture if my gorgeous Max as the anchorman says, “He was just thirty years old, unmarried and left behind no children.”
Tossing the blanket off me I run to the bathroom where I promptly throw my guts up. Then the sobs hit me and rack my body. Logan has picked me up and carried me to the bed. He holds me on his lap and rocks me back and forth as I cry hysterically. “I loved him, Logan.”
“I know you did, sweetie,” he says as he runs his hand over my head. “He loved you too.”
“I’ll never see him again. He’s gone forever and I hate myself.”
“Shh,” he says as he hugs me tight to him. “Don’t do that now. I’m sure he’d hate it if you got down on yourself.”
I wrap my arms around Logan’s neck and bury my face in his chest as I cry and see Max’s beautiful face in my mind, that’s the only place I’ll ever see him again is in my memories.
The crying eases up and I find myself so lucky to have a man as sensitive as Logan is. “Thank you for understanding, Logan. You’re a good man.”
A tissue he pulls from a box on the nightstand and pats my cheeks with it. “Believe me, it fills me with jealousy to see how much that man affects you. You love him though and I can’t help feeling empathy for you. I’m sorry this happened, Alex. It’s not fair.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s not. I hope he’s in a better place, and finally really happy, like he was on the days we were together. We could have had so many more of those days if I hadn’t been so stupid. I know this much, I’ll never do that to you. I won’t run away from you because I’m too afraid to love you.”
Finally, we lay down and I rest my head on Logan’s chest. His heart beats fill my ear, and it makes me realize Max’s heart no longer beats, air no longer flows from his lungs and he can no longer think of me.
I will miss him forever.
Part 4 Secrets of Love
Max
The sun’s light shimmers on the water’s surface. Somehow I made it through another night in the water. My little broken knee board has proved to be a miraculous floatation device. Though I have no hope of making it out of this alive, it’s keeping me from going as quickly as I thought I would.
As I lie my head on the knee board and let my body dangle I know it must be getting near my time to go because I hear a humming sound.
Perhaps it’s angels coming to take me.
My eyes still closed as I have no energy to open them, I think I hear voices. The water stirs near me and something bumps into me as people shout in some language I don’t understand.
I’m being pulled from the water, still my eyelids won’t open. Some man says something in what sounds like it might be French, but I don’t know what he says. A towel is wrapped around me and I’m laid on a hard surface as the boat speeds through the water and the people all talk excitedly. I assume it’s about me and my present condition.
The sweetest voice comes close to my ear and says with a thick French accent, “My name is Kate and I will make sure you are taken care of.” A hand runs softly over my cheek which is badly sunburned. “You will be alright, my prince.”
Her voice is like that of an angel and I fight to open my eyes. Though blurry I can see a halo of red, with a pale face in the middle seems to be looking at me. “Hi,” I croak.
“Mama,” the angel says. “Water quickly, he’s awake.”
The angel looks back at me and I can focus a little better. “Kate?” I ask.
“No, no, my prince,” she says. “You must rest, no talking for now.” Someone hands her a bottle of water and she pours some on a white cloth and puts it to my mouth. I suck it greedily from the cloth and she pulls it back. “No, not so fast, you will get sick. Easy with it.”
The cool water she pours more of on the cloth and gently touches it to my face. It feels so damn good, I close my eyes again.
I’m not sure if I’m being rescued and will live, or if this is my ride to Heaven.
Alexis
Heat hits me like a brick wall as I walk back into my old apartment in Houston. I’ve run again, this time from Logan. He should be home any minute and he’ll find I’m gone. I’ve not bought myself another cell phone so he can’t call me and try to talk me into going back. My only fear is I might be pregnant, but if that occurs I’ll deal with that.
The knowledge that Max is dead is messing my head up more than I ever imagined it could be messed up. I can’t eat or sleep or think. I really screwed up and wonder if his death had anything to do with me.
The obvious thing to do is go and see Hilda and see if she knew what was going on with him, but I can’t face the mansion again without him in it. I’ll just hav
e to never know, never understand why this happened. Whether it was over me or not, Max is gone and I’ll never see him again. The thought of that has me going insane. To never lay my eyes on his beautiful face again is way too much for me to bear.
I flip on the air conditioner and curl up in a ball on my bed. Though unable to sleep, I’m also unable to sit up and the ride here was unbearable. I passed the park where I ran into Max the last time and cried all the rest of the way home.
I never imagined I had so many tears in me. Maybe in a few days I’ll be able to get up and maybe I’ll go back to dog walking. Maybe I’ll just lie here until I feel better, though I can’t imagine that is ever going to happen.Max
My angel has gotten into the ambulance with me and directs them on how to handle me. “Gently, please. He’s been through so much,” she says.
If I had the energy to smile I would. She’s so sweet and has talked to me in her little, sweet voice the whole way to the shore. A woman who I guess is her mother says something to her in French and she answers, “Ya, Mama, I am going to ride with him to the hospital. Come there as soon as you can.”
She’s coming with me? She doesn’t even know me and I must look horrible and this sweet girl is coming with me?
The paramedics place me on something hard and her small hand holds mine until they put me in the back of the ambulance. The absence of her touch makes me sad, but then I hear her voice again. “I am here, my prince. You stay with me, please.”
She is here and I can’t help thinking everything is going to be alright.
I get hooked up to some things and I feel a pinch on the top of one of my hands. Warmth spreads through me and amazingly I am feeling much better. Someone leans in close to me and asks, “Can you tell me your name, sir?”
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